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Thread: discouraged newbie

  1. #1
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    Default discouraged newbie

    Hey everyone, I am new here & just wanted to say hi & let you know what a great site this is. I've learned sooo much. Sorry this is going to be long, but I've read so much here already w/out posting so I guess I've got a lot to say.....

    I am so ready to start dancing, but I am having trouble getting up the nerve! I auditioned @ the Penthouse Club in Dallas a few weeks ago. I was totally excited & ready to dance & then at my audition, the manager told me I needed to lose a little weight & tan a little. (Right now I'm 5'4" and weigh 135. I have quite a bit of muscle mass since I've been working out regularly for the past 10 years. I'm 25 yrs old, by the way.) I know my height & weight mean nothing really so I'll post a picture tomorrow. I'd like to know what y'all think.

    I went to another club the next week and got the job on the spot & was told I could start work whenever I was ready, but for some reason I am so discouraged now. I have been working out more & I'm eating healthier, but I feel like it's going to take forever to lose the 10 lbs. that I need to lose before I can start dancing.

    I'd feel better if I was @ my ideal weight and I am very pale, but should I go ahead & start @ the other club or wait until I've lost the weight? I just don't want to set myself up to fail. Have any of you girls felt discouraged, but went ahead & went to work anyway? I keep putting it off because I feel like I have to be in the best shape possible before I start, but I'm afraid I'll just keep putting it off forever. I just don't want to be 80 years old and be like, "I could've been a topless dancer when I was young and cute, but I never did it."

    Does anyone here dance in the Dallas area? Also, do any of you have full-time day jobs in addition to dancing? That's the situation I'm in & I'd like to know how it's going for you. Any help or advice would be appreciated. I've already read quite a few previous threads on some of this stuff, but I'd still like to hear what you all have to say.

    Also, I just wanted to say that I read something on here about how new girls will sometimes borrow your shit & not return it, or use your cell phone because it's sitting there in front of them, or wear your outfit w/out asking. That is so rude! What happened to having & using your own shit?? I would never feel comfortable being a new person & asking to borrow things from other dancers. Even if I wasn't new I think it's rude unless you know the person pretty well. Some people are just weird.

    Thanks for suffering through this incredibly long & possibly annoying post.

  2. #2
    Senior Member quaid's Avatar
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    Default Re: discouraged newbie

    hi pdbeznin,
    I'd say go for it, guys will like you even with your extra 10 lbs (most probably wouldn't even know the difference if they saw you after you lost it). And although I don't have a full-time job while I dance I AM a full-time student so that's similar in some ways I think and I'm perfectly happy with my decision to dance.

    good luck

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Concubine's Avatar
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    Default Re: discouraged newbie

    Yup, I've pushed my butt into work even when I'm not the most confident with myself all the time when I was dancing.

    I haven't gone back dancing yet, and even though my vacation was only suppost to be a month it's been 3 months since I stopped! I am just a scardy cat and don't feel confident enough. It's weird since I haven't been out of commission for too long and yet I feel like a newbie again. But anyway, we're either going to sit on our butts and dream about it for the rest of our lives or get the courage and just do it.

    "Get busy living or get busy dying" - Quote I like from The Shawskank Redemption

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: discouraged newbie

    I have a day job but haven't started dancing yet. I am really self concious about my thighs but I have also had men tell me I look just fine so unless you are trying out for perfect 10 Magazine and getting critiqued on Howard Stern I wouldn't worry about it. I'll let you know how it goes with the day job once I start dancing which hopefully might be in a few weeks since I have a bunch of stuff coming up on my weekends and I'll also be going out of town. As far as the being 80 years old and saying "yeah, I could have been a dancer once," that is EXACTLY what I was telling my boyfriend last night. He was telling me the only problem he has with it is that it makes him feel bad because he feels like I need more money and he doesn't make enough. I told him it's just one of those things that when I'm 80 I'd like to be able to say I've done...and hopefully to have made a ton of money at. Maybe you ought to work at the club that hired you now and then in a couple of months you'll be in a lot better shape if you want to go to the other one.

  5. #5
    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
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    Default Re: discouraged newbie

    Work now! Put some tanning lotion on for a light glow. Use the club that hired you to learn the skills to succeed at the club where you really want to work.

    You will drop weight the first few weeks of dancing, like it or not. I've fallen under 100 lbs. I never meant to. I'm actually trying -- TRYING -- to gain back the weight, but with dancing, it's nearly impossible.

  6. #6
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: discouraged newbie

    Go ahead and start working. You will drop the weight, don't worry about that. Just start workiing, and as you get more comfortable, you will gain confidence. Don't worry about the one club telling you you need to loose weight. Some clubs want all girls who have the "Barbie" look, and some are more into the "something for everybody" concept.

    Also, just lock up your stuff or don't bring it into the club, so nobody will have an opportunity to use it without permission. I have a suitcase that can be locked with a lock.

    If somebody asks to borrow something, you can jsut say, "No, I don't lend outfits. Sorry" I so lend outfits, with the stipulation that all my stuff has to get back in my bag by the end of the night, the borrower has to wear her own thong, and if any damage is done, the borrower has to pay me for it. But it's up to you. I know a lot of girls who don't lend at all. I like to do it, because then I can also borrow outfits.

    Just go for it. Good luck!


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    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

  7. #7
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    Default Re: discouraged newbie

    Thanks so much everyone for the encouragement! I feel a lot more confident already & hopefully I'll have the guts to go in on Friday & give it a shot.

    Lizette, I have already tried the tanning lotion & it works pretty well. I don't really want to go to a tanning bed since I'm so fair skinned so the tanning lotion works fine. Thanks for the advice!

    And quaid, I think being a full-time student is definitely as stressful, if not more so
    than working a full-time job everyday. So being a student counts as a full-time job in my eyes. The same goes for being a mom. How many nights a week do you work?

    Colleen, I think it's really nice of you to loan your stuff to people. If I really needed something from someone, it would be nice to know that someone might be willing to help me out if I'm in a bind. I guess I just think it's rude when people take your stuff w/out asking. However, I still wouldn't feel comfortable asking to borrow things while I'm new Sorry I wasn't more clear.

    Thanks again to EVERYONE who responded. I'll let you know how it goes on my first day!

  8. #8
    Senior Member quaid's Avatar
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    Default Re: discouraged newbie

    definitely go and get your first day done. as of late i've been working 3-5 nights/week.

    lots of luck!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Ashara's Avatar
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    Default Re: discouraged newbie

    Yep, give it a go would be my advice. I don't think you'd be setting yourself up to fail if you go in with a positive outlook. Also don't take what otehr people say too much, if we took everyone's criticisim to heart in this business none of us would have the confidence to get up there and have a go. You sound like you were happy with yourself before the guy said what he did, just because he said it shouldnt change the way you feel about yourself!

    The advice about tanning lotion is fine, the darker you look the thinner you look, particulrly in the dark environs of a strip club. You can also influence initial perceptions by your choice of clothing - and when you've got it all off guys won't notice the 10 pounds. Besides if you've been working out you won't be flabby, but athletic. Lots of guys like the athletic look. Good luck with it!

    PS. I'm a full time student too and it's tough making the time to go in, but I treat it as a bit of paid stress release as I do enjoy it.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: discouraged newbie

    Don't let that comment get under your skin. In this job you will have many people tell you what they think you should do with your body and you just have to shake it off. People will tell you that you need breast implants, that you need to go tanning, etc. Do what makes you happy! I am very fair skinned and I don't believe in tanning. The funny thing is, the black lights make you appear more dark complected and I have actually been complimented on my "tan" many times! I just laugh and say thanks. I would suggest working on loving your body just as it is. Everyone can be self conscious at times, but I think that your time and energy would be better spent thinking positively than reliving some stranger's comments. I know that it's easier to say than do, but a high self esteem will be your best ally on those long nights. Good luck, you'll be fabulous!
    Mighty Aphrodite

  11. #11
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    Default Re: discouraged newbie

    Every club won't hire you. So Penthouse is picky. Big deal. You got hired at another club. Why are you not happy about that? Lots of clubs won't hire me. I do my best at the clubs that will. Just because one club has a more prestigious image than another doesn't mean it necessarily will be more profitable for you. There are lot's of clubs in the Metroplex. Some will hire you and some won't. It's as simple as that.

    If you are white you need to tan regularly.

    Do you have a gym membership? If not get one and work out 4 days a week, don't eat within 2 hours of bed, minimize drinking, and caffeine consumption.

    You will work at a lot of clubs in your dancing career.

    If Saks Fifth Avenue turned you down for a job, and Penney's hired you, would you turn down the Penney's job because they are not upscale? Money is money, no matter how upscale the source, right?

    Go to work where you were hired. Stop procrastinating.

    In a club NEVER leave your belongings out. Keep them in your locker, and NEVER loan anything to anyone.If a club has no lockers, don't take valuable items with you.

    If you leave your things out and loan your phone or costumes to strange girls, you deserve to be ripped off, right?

    I am not trying to be mean, just real.

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