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Thread: I don't now what went wrong

  1. #1
    Senior Member emily1015's Avatar
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    Default I don't now what went wrong

    Girls I have a problem. I started dancing about 2 weeks ago and love it. The stage the lights the customers. I finally settled on a nude club cause I am very comfortable with it, but the last night I walked out of the club with $340 preety good for me at least. I was happy and everything until i got home and started crying. I felt like a whore all of the sudden. I am not an extras girl and my boyfriend is very supprtive of what I do. I went back to owrk again tonight and the same feeling came back. I just couldn't function out there So I came home early. My boyfrined said that maybe this is not for me and If I can't do it than that's okay. I still want to but I don't know where or why this started. Any advice is welcomed.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member reesexc's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    Awww....hugs. Girl..you'll be fine. It takes some getting used to. Some people get used to it right away and some take longer. Once you stick around and realize you're not doing anything "whorish" although I hate using that word...lol, you'll be fine. But not all girls are built for stripping...some just can't hack it. You'll be able to know if you can or not.You seem to be making some money and your man accepts what you do...you've got a good thing going.

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    Hi Emily, you have a really supportive BF and that’s awesome. I think you should consider taking some time to think about all this and see what it is YOU really want to do. How do YOU really feel about it, what is your motivation, objective, reason and priorities.

    Your not a whore for stripping and a criminal lawyers isn’t always a scum bag.
    But these career choices aren’t for everyone.

    Good luck.


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    Senior Member Alexis1313's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. But I think that every dancer does at some point in time. Take some time to really think about your options. This business isn't for everyone. And there's NO shame in being honest with yourself about what you can live with and what you can't. If you ARE cut out to be a dancer I can tell you the your INNER voice that wants to scream "whore" will go away.........but there are lots of other voices that don't. There's alot of people in this world who think that dancers are whores. And it's hard to take sometimes.

    After all, chances are that you've been told by any number of people ALL YOUR LIFE that this is something that "nice girls" don't do. It's hard to let go of that mentality when it's been drilled into you for so long.

    I wish you lots of luck, prosperity, and happiness no matter what you choose to do.

  5. #5
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    Damn girl,I feel for ya.Feeling that way does suck and I'm sorry.May I make a suggestion???Try dancing topless instead of nude,so you won't feel so "exposed" and see if that helps.

    *HUGS*
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  6. #6
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    emily, i couldnt agree more with OTB. I was shocked when you told me that A) you were starting out at a nude club, and B) that you chose *that particular* club... known to be full of, shall we say, hardened girls. That is a tough atmosphere to work in. I truly think its the club that is making you feel this way - that club makes women feel degraded, as opposed to a more upscale, gentlemen's club. PM me if you want any advice on where to go

  7. #7
    Veteran Member Concubine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    Well, as the other girls stated dancing isn't for everyone. You've got to have a certain personality type for this kind of job (as well as other jobs like surgeons, lawyers, telemarkets etc etc etc). Maybe once you've done it for longer you'll get a little desensitized to that feeling. It's just like my best friend, she was all for dancing at first but then when she started to come to work with me and watched me and talked to guys after a short period of time she couldn't stand it any longer and wanted me to quit. She knows I'm not an extras girl but she said that whole aspect of it drove her nuts. She tells me that she doesn't want to share me (which is really cute). But with my personality I just don't really care, it doesn't vex me dancing. However I am overly concerned about what people think of me and being naked in front of a club full of people does plague on my paranoia. Ugh, I've gotta get over that some how.

    Anyway, I'd stick to it for at least acouple more weeks. If you feel the same way then you know it's not for you and you've experienced it so you wont have any regrets. You've got to weigh out the pros and cons. If you enjoy it a lot then stick with it, if you feel devalidated or down on yourself in any way then for all means, no matter how good the money is, your mental health is more important!

    Good Luck! *hugs*

  8. #8
    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    Your not a whore for stripping and a criminal lawyers isn’t always a scum bag.
    if they were I guess I'd be double evil for wanting to be both! ha!




    Now if I were to compare stripping to other jobs I've had in the past as far as the adjustment factor goes, I've had jobs where it took me a good two months to get used to them. It could be that you're just adjusting to it. But only you can figure that out for yourself.

  9. #9
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    I agree with both OTB and Tampa. Dancing nude can be tough because you're exposing everything. Maybe try another club where you're not so exposed. I have danced in both nude and topless clubs. I prefer topless, well thats not all together true. I prefer clubs with the best earning potential but, thats me. As long as I am respected then I am fine. However I have girlfriends that only dance in topless clubs and I have girlfriends who only dance in nude clubs.

    Its really up to you. Plus you're still very new to the dance industry. Why don't you try another club that is not so taxing on your well being and see how that works out for you.

    Good luck,
    Farrah
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


  10. #10
    Pamela
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest
    Damn girl,I feel for ya.Feeling that way does suck and I'm sorry.May I make a suggestion???Try dancing topless instead of nude,so you won't feel so "exposed" and see if that helps.

    *HUGS*
    Great advice! Go topless first. You may have thrown yourself to the sharks to quickly by showing you're body with no clothes on at all.

    I started topless, on stage yet..that was all i could do. Then after years went nude.

    Also, set limits for you at work. This may take some earnings down a tad, but help you feel more comfortable. Meaning what ever bothers you the most while at work, say showing off you're vagina, wear (find a club, if you need to) thongs or a g-string!

    Also if you take on a different persona while at work it helps alot. Do the hair very diffreent, make-up, clothes etc.

    When you go home take a shower, shake off work and get into the "you" mode and look again. It helped me when i first statred. I looked sooo different in the clubs, outside you would not know it was me. And i left that look and attitude at the club too.

    Good luck.

    Pamela

  11. #11
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    yeah definatly try to distingush a different character when your at work. i find wearing a costume ( ie school girl) helps, cos i can act up on it,and make it seem more like another person.


    dont stress if your not into it just yet, no one accepts their job with 2 weeks,theres always an adjustment period... mine was almost TWO years!!!! i couldnt get into it for ages, when i did tho...phew! also realised the two years i wasted sitting in the dressing room all night-when theres so much money in the club

    get out there,enjoy it

  12. #12
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    Default Re: I don't now what went wrong

    The same thinking happened to me when I started dancing at 19. I moved to Ohio with my boyfriend at the time. There were no jobs so I decided to cocktail. The manager begged me to dance and I did eventually. I made over $300 in a couple hours and was very content and happy. I came back the next day and just broke down crying. I didn't dance again until the next year in NC. I still wasn't ready then. I finally tried it again at 22. I moved away from my comfort zone almost completely broke. It was either dance or starve. Since then, I've moved all over the place and learned to love dancing.
    Chances are if you loved it the first time you tried it.........you will come back, but keep trying different places until you find where you fit in. Don't overwork yourself. Don't let the jerks get to you..... and if it's not for you, then it's not for you. Just find something that you love, above all else.....

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