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Thread: What to do when you're "too good"?

  1. #1
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default What to do when you're "too good"?

    This isn't meant to sound conceited, but I'm having the problem of being perceived as "too good" at my job or "too beautiful" and I'm pretty much the lowest payed dancer at my club currently because of it so I need to do something, I just don't know what. It's an ongoing problem, but because things are so quiet lately I'm really feeling the pinch. When the clubs busy I can usually keep my head above water and attitudes just seem different when people are in groups which they're not lately.
    Here's my list of problems.
    People love my stage show and don't tip because they enjoy watching regardless.
    People assume I'm a feature show and am getting payed by the club to be there.
    People assume I'm the highest payed dancer in the club and get shows with someone else "to be fair".
    People assume I'm a snob and up myself because I dance well and suposedly look good. Or if I approach people they often go all gobsmacked and can't speak because "girls like me don't usually speak to guys like them".
    I'm a shit husstler at the best of times, but the above problem doesn't help either because it means most of my conversations start off awkwardly. The other way my conversations start off is by me recieving lots of compliments, praise and handshakes for my stage shows, but I can never seem to steer them in to the direction of getting a private show. Or people will run away before I have the chance to say anything.
    I don't know if I can change how I dance because I'm not consiously making the effort to dance how I do. But should I don a bit of a moustache or something, or dress like a frump? Or should I just give up? I'm honestly really stuck and getting pretty depressed about it. I've only done 3 private shows in 8 nights of work. Which is MUCH less than every other dancer in the club. Most manage at least 1 or 2 a night even when it's totally shit! Last night I took home $100 whilst everyone bar 1 made over $300 and belive me I struggled to make that 100 and was the only dancer who didnt do any private shows yet again...
    Any suggestions, I'm really lost here?!!!

  2. #2
    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    Well, I saw your pic and you are certainly attractive enuff... I knew a dancer once with the same problem you describe. She featured for our club. She was a great dancer, but very tom-boyish. She was beautiful, but not sexy. I made triple what she made every night. That was her problem... her approach was not feminine enuff, not sexy. I don't know if that could be your problem.... Actually, I would consider changing clubs. This club may not be classy enuff for you. I've been in clubs where I couldn't make $100 a night, because I was too "good" for the guys, then went down the street to a bigger, more classy club and was rolling in the dough. In a lot of places, they want sleazy chicks, and I just don't come off as sleazy enuff for them.

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    I have this problem too but don't address it more aggressively out of pride and shyness. Secretly I preen at the idea that I might be counted in the top shelf of dancers. It would be the first time in my life I would be first in line for anything!
    A friend of mine who is a top dancer at her club (looks like Cindy Crawford, talks like a bartender- 'cause she was one) overcomes gobsmacked people and jealous dancers by having a 100% sweetheart attitude and a great sense of humor. One of her hustles at a club where people tipped the dancers after the stage show (when the dancer approached them to collect $1 tips) was: "I've got a p*ssy pocket, a two titty pockets and two hands- which one do you want to stuff a dollar into?" She made it sound funny and personable. Best attitude I ever came across.
    Another part of stripping is acting. If people seem shy to come to the stage, beckon people with cute looks and curled fingers. Then lavish attention all over the first comers. Men are cheaper and cheaper these days and you have to show them "they'll be getting something for their dollar." Be playful, like a kitten. One of my favorite jokes while sitting at the bar with drinking customers was to grab my bikini top straps and tug them to make my boobs bounce up and down: "LOOK! It's two puppies fighting under a blanket! Woof! Woof! Grrr!" This was in a military bar so all these young guys thought it was cute.
    It's hard some days to project this dizzy, up-for-anything firecracker personality. But, boredom is one of the most hated human conditions, and if you can't have people all slavering horny and leaking dough, at least you can have them laughing and parting with dollars without thinking of the spending.

  4. #4
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    Same here. I get told a lot of times that I intimidate the guys. And I'm VERY friendly and silly. Go figure. Feh...
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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic
    Well, I saw your pic and you are certainly attractive enuff... I knew a dancer once with the same problem you describe. She featured for our club. She was a great dancer, but very tom-boyish. She was beautiful, but not sexy. I made triple what she made every night. That was her problem... her approach was not feminine enuff, not sexy. I don't know if that could be your problem.... Actually, I would consider changing clubs. This club may not be classy enuff for you. I've been in clubs where I couldn't make $100 a night, because I was too "good" for the guys, then went down the street to a bigger, more classy club and was rolling in the dough. In a lot of places, they want sleazy chicks, and I just don't come off as sleazy enuff for them.
    Erotictonic,that is so very true!If the club has sleazy customers,they want to see sleazy girls,the classy ones won't make any money,and vice versa.

    Find a more upscale club in your area and try to work there.Hustling is not easy,but in bigger nicer clubs it tends to be not as aggressive (not always,though).

  6. #6
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiepunkshocker
    Here's my list of problems.
    People love my stage show and don't tip because they enjoy watching regardless.
    People assume I'm a feature show and am getting payed by the club to be there.
    People assume I'm the highest payed dancer in the club and get shows with someone else "to be fair".
    People assume I'm a snob and up myself because I dance well and suposedly look good. Or if I approach people they often go all gobsmacked and can't speak because "girls like me don't usually speak to guys like them".


    Okay, don't take this the wrong way, because I think you are stunning, but it sounds like customer bullshit of the "you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" variety. That means it probably isn't true - I mean, they probably do find you beautiful and a superb dancer, but this is unlikely to be the reason you don't make money. Really, step up your hustle, and maybe try to be a little more charming and personable.
    A tip from the POV of the more "ordinary" girl - I make more money than prettier, dancier girls because of the following reasons:
    1. I'm really, really, fucking charming and entertaining. Look for something in the guy that you like and engage with it. Sometimes you have to look really, REALLY hard, but you are a lot more charming if you actually mean it - even if you only mean it at the time. Set up a "work email" and communicate to the guys that like you when you'll be working next, and make it clear at the time what it is for. Don't tell them you really want to hear about how their kid did on that spelling bee.
    2. Work hard - talk to every guy even if you are pretty sure it is a waste of time - I mean, definitely prioritize guys you think are not a waste of time, but work. Don't let guys get used to having you for free. Don't sit with them for a long time if they don't pay for it. Be nice, if they are "not ready" or "are ready for a break" give it 1 minute and then excuse yourself "for a minute", work the room, come back, give it another 10 minutes and then ask if they are ready for another dance (if they just aren't interested, move on)
    3. Expect a lot of rejection. Guys say no. Guys say no to me a lot more than other girls. But, (upside), guys also say yes to me a lot more than other girls. Guys absolutely will be all "girls like you don't normally talk to guys like me" - that's the point, that is the industry standard. They are there so that girls like you will talk to them at price.
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  7. #7
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    dont forget its pretty quiet in most parts of aus right now too...so that could be getting you down.


    on another note,i dont know what your stage performance or persona is, but i find the girls who dance all coy,cute,bubbly,innocent ish are big stage earners. the ones with straight faces,or normal average smiles dont seem to be noticed.
    pole tricks may turn the guys away depending on the type of clientele. if you do plenty of pole work,maybe tone it down a lil, or if you dont do enough,step up etc.

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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    Excellent advice from Jenny!

    As far as my looks go, I was also in the more "ordinary" category (though I was always an outstanding dancer)--and I guess as a result I wasn't surprised to realize that I really had to work my hustle like a mutherf*ck in order to make any money.

    I can see how a really beautiful girl would think that she didn't HAVE to work that hard, but, as you point out, aussie, beautiful girls have their own set of problems. A really stunning girl, I think, has to make a greater effort not to be intimidating. Madmaxine gave good advice too. You probably need to force yourself to be EXTRA-friendly, EXTRA-personable, EXTRA-charming, and EXTRA-funny. Humor is probably key. I don't know what your persona is, but if you're able to muster a little silliness or goofiness, that would likely go a long way toward making customers feel more comfortable with you.

  9. #9
    Featured Member exotica17's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    I get that quite often, or I get the "but you're my favorite" line. Just had it happen to me last night. . .

    This guy just keeps telling me how beautiful I am and how I was "killing him." I gave him a dance but had to go on stage, so he said he wanted another dance after my stage show. I get off stage, and on my way to his seat I get stopped by another guy wanting me to dance for him. I told the guy that I would be back, and I go back to the "killing me" guy. We chat for a bit (too long) and I ask if he's ready for that other dance. He tells me, "well, I don't want to spend it all in one place--I wanna spread the wealth. But you're still my favorite." I guess he actually expected me to believe that--what an idiot. I told him that uh, HELLO, that's what guys do, spend all their money on their favorite. In the end, thankfully, I caught the other guy just as he was walking out the door!!!! He bought several dances from me, but I almost didn't catch him all because I was busy wasting my time on some dumbass who was feeding me the "you're so pretty" bullcrap.

    So you could be experiencing one of the following:

    1)A pathetic excuse (just as mi lady Jenny said). Unless the customer is giving you money or buying dances from you while he's telling you how beautiful you are, the line may be nothing more than a dumb excuse for being cheap, poor, or liking someone else more.

    So, when they say "I don't wanna dance from you 'cause you're too beautiful," tell them that it is the reason they should buy dances from you--because you ARE beautiful and isn't that what they are there for? If they still refuse, then the line is probably a hoax for the reasons listed above. They think you are great, but they are not man enough (or rich enough) to show it.

    2)Genuine intimidation. In this case, take the other ladies' advice and be more silly, more playful, more humorous. Humor is a great ice-breaker and can get people to see that though you are much more beautiful than what they are used to seeing, you are still a lot like them.

    If these don't work for you and you end up having to try to make yourself look ugly just so you can be on their level, then for chrissakes change clubs if you can!

    PS--My suggestions may not work because I am not the greatest salesperson. So use at your own risk. But good luck, sweetie!

  10. #10
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    A lot of guys assume that if you are a 9-10 working in a bar full of 5-6 dancers that you won't provide the milage that the others will. They may honsetly mean everything they say about being the best the prettiest etc, but they aren't going to spend if they think that you wil not provide the milage that the 5-6 dancer will.

    Try to work at a club that has dancers that have similar performances and looks as you, and you should be able to earn more. That way you are more likely to reach your target market.

    Also play games with yourself. I like to play "Reject" wilth myself. I try to see how many rejections I can get in a row before I get a yes answer. I have been known to accost men heading for the restroom just so that I can top my all time high (low??). My standing record is 27 rejections in a row. I haven't hit anywhere close to those numbers lately as the there haven't been that many customers in the club at one time in a while, but if I can get rejected I just know that I am that much closer to finding that next dance or private show!

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    Featured Member exotica17's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    Good game, Paris! It never hurts to ask--if I don't ask, I feel like I've wasted my time at work.

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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    I agree with everyone!!!
    • I am a very beautiful girl, but I sometimes work twice as hard as the girls that are 5-6ers. Sometimes they give me this look, or slip envious comments towards me, but I tell them, that I am busting my ass in the club. Plus I also work at a high end club, where there are other pretty girls, so it isn't like I have no competition in regards to looks or game.

    • Watch thee other women, to see what they are doing, and don't worry too much about other people making more money then you, I used to do that, and all that gossiping with myself, didn't make me any money!!(lol)
    • Otherwise, just give it time...you will catch on and find your place.

  13. #13
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    Hey Jo

    Since I have more of an idea of your stage performance and hustle than anyone here. I will comment as per that....

    People love my stage show and don't tip because they enjoy watching regardless.

    Let's say the length of your stage show is 4 song long. "Give it your all" for the first two songs then tone it down alot on the last two songs. This is how I work it at my club and have subsequently worked it at alot of other clubs... I give them the show and then start hustling for tips on stage. If they don't tip me, then I go to the further-est point of the stage (the back or behind the waterfall) to continue my show there. That is my way of punishing them for not tipping me. If they want me to continue the show, tip me

    What I mean by toning it down, I lie down on the floor and do some real basic and repetative floor work moves or if I'm near the back pole I face my back to them alot.

    People assume I'm a feature show and am getting payed by the club to be there.

    Oh boy did I have this happen ALOT when I was over at Players! I have since learnt how to overcome this one. It also depends on the club. Some clubs can handle 'showgirl' type of dancing more than other clubs. The clubs that can't handle 'showgirl' type of dancing, I (painfully) become a 'club dancer'. Watch how the other dancers dance, you'll see that they don't seem to actually do much.... do the same. Change your routine so that it is no longer 'showgirl' and reflects a 'club dancer' more. I now keep my 'showgirl' moves for competitions and for times when I need those types of moves on stage.

    People assume I'm the highest payed dancer in the club and get shows with someone else "to be fair".

    That's just customer b-s. There are alot of ways a patron (potential customer) will say NO without saying NO. Alot of them think (for some odd reason) that we can't handle a straight out NO and therefore give us (dancers) these (what I call) soft NOs.

    People assume I'm a snob and up myself because I dance well and suposedly look good.

    Actually, you are making the assumption here. Remember: If you assume anything you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me" This is only true AFTER you have spoken with them -- up until they say something similiar.... you are assuming that they are thinking as such.

    Or if I approach people they often go all gobsmacked and can't speak because "girls like me don't usually speak to guys like them".

    If that is what does happen, then use it to your advantage. Be feminine and seductive and tell them that you are speaking to them and they can even have more fun with you "out back".

    but the above problem doesn't help either because it means most of my conversations start off awkwardly.

    This is happening because you are already assuming alot about that potential customer. Each patron is an individual -- approach them as such. Do not have any assumptions against them or they might actually start to reflect those assumptions.... " self fulfilling prophecy ".

    You really need to change your self-thinking Jo. Stop thinking of yourself as a 'shit hustler' and just realise that you have your own way and style of hustling. Stop comparing yourself to others.... that is a big one. It's like comparing "apples to oranges" and will only cause you more misery.

    If I compared myself to those dancers who can (and do) approach everyone (work on quantity NOT quality) then I would also cause myself alot of misery and probably think I'm a 'shit hustler'. That is not the case as I realised a loooong time ago now that my style is based on "qualify-ing my prospects" -- working on quality NOT quantity. I want to approach 5 people and manage to receive 2-3 dances from those 5 people instead of approaching 10 people to receive the same no. of dances.

    I like to "sit back" and watch them... what are they drinking, how are they reacting to their environment, how are they interacting with their 'mates' , how are they reacting to other dancers approaching them, and so forth. Then go approach them.

    Focus on succeeding and stop focusing on not succeeding. Approach every potential customer like you have sold heaps of dances already. Do whatever you have to do to think like this...

    In the end, you may have to seriously consider a change in clubs. It took alot for me to originally change/leave Santa Fe Gold to go over to Players... however I did so and that decision rewarded me... and took just as much to finally quit Players.

    Do not "marry" any one club. Be prepared to find another club .... even if that club is in another state (travel out of state for 3 weeks work then come home as such).



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    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    usually when i get the you are too hot for me BS i take off all my makeup.... *which i am still pretty w/o * but im not as done up... it works well for me actially.. I had alot of that your so hot but no tonight... took off all my makeup and bam dance after dance.. It was wonderful

  15. #15
    Veteran Member Nina's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    I had a similar problema while back-- this thread may help

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...2&page=1&pp=15
    Sexy, Swarovski Stripper jewelry, OOAK, and DIY clothing


    "Acceptance is right. Kindness is right. Love is right. I pray, right now, that we're moving into a kinder time when prejudice is overcome by understanding; when narrow-mindedness, and narrow-minded bigotry is overwhelmed by open-hearted empathy; when the pain of judgmentalism is replaced by the purity of love"
    Janet Jackson

  16. #16
    Senior Member Super Cecil's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    All customers have a WEAKNESS. It's just a manner of finding that weakness
    and exploiting it till it screams.

    Every guy that comes to the club looking for something.
    If you help him find it. His wallet is yours.

    1.) get rid of stress
    2.) see great living art
    3.) go out for fun
    4.) erase memories of his former girl.

    just to name a few

    it's no different than other product.
    right now your being seen as the high end bmw
    which can be bad for your pocket book.
    force yourself to seem inexperienced and you'll be better off i think
    Last edited by Super Cecil; 04-17-2005 at 11:06 PM.

  17. #17
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: What to do when you're "too good"?

    Thanks everyone for the responses!
    I have just taken 3 nights off to have a think about things and relax abit and am considering changing clubs when I get back from Europe, although I personally don't like the more upmarket clubs much... but no point staying where I am if i could make more money elsewhere. If things pick up though I should be ok.

    Paris I LOVE your reject game, lol. That actually makes me feel alot better!
    I like Tragic Beauty's idea of removing make-up too. And Gold Coast Girl yes that's a great idea to tone my show down a little towards the end. I'm really not assuming about the snob thing though - alot of my friends thourght I was such a snob for years until we acctually met, I get told it quite regularly when I talk to people, lol. Not sure why, I always thourght I was a happy smiley type of person (-: Thanks for the great advice though, yes I do need to focus on success! I think some of the other ideas about being more jokey etc might help with that.

    Everyone has given me alot to think about and ideas of how to change how I work and interact with people - thank-you all!!! (-:

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