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Thread: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

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    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Sooooo... my good friend/neighbor is out of town and I agreed to stay at his house and watch his dog.

    The dog is cute as hell (see below). It's a pug-beagle mix... or a puggle. I call it "that little shit"!



    ^ see that photo. Cute huh? this thing is one of the most spoiled, little bratty dogs I have ever came across... grrrrrrrr. Over the past two nights I have gotten a total of 4 hours of sleep and my patience is running thin... Only one more day to hold off from killing this dog!!

    1st night:
    Everything is fine. I get into bed around 12 am, and let the dog roam the house as she normally does. 1 am, I find out that the dog has to sleep in the same bed as me. Seeing that she's too small to jump up, I have to left her into bed. Then she preceeds for the next 30 minutes to dig into the sheets searching for that nonexistant bone.... Finally around 1:30 she calms down and goes to sleep. 2 am, she wakes up, jumps off the bed and returns in 10 minutes. Again, she's hopping at the edge of the bed, whimpering to get up. Ok.. I let her up again.

    She repeats this routine 5 times throughout the night... so I'm getting 10 minute increments of actual sleep. oy vey

    5:30 am, I wake up... take a shower (she's whimpering outside the bathroom door). Dry off, and walk back into my room. I noticed she was in the corner of the room, looking at me with intense eyes? ok... "what's wrong?". I walk towards her and *SPLAT*... I quickly notice a warm, wet feeling squeeze between my toes. I just stepped in a big pile of dog vomit.

    Disgusted, I wash of my foot, walk back to my room and change. I start walking down the stairs, and again, I feel wetness seeping through my socks. Fabulous.... it's dog pee. and in the corner is a nice little doggie deposit. WTF?

    anyways... I eat my breakfast, let her outside, and finish up 5 minutes later. I call her inside, and she gives me a blank look from across the yard... she continues sniffing through the yard... I guess the beagle side of her took control, because she caught the scent of something and she wasn't going to budge. Seeing that I already was going to be late to work, I slowly walk towards her and try to coax her inside... except she's thinking "yeeaaaaaaaaaa!!! It's play time!!!!!". fucking dog.

    She gets the crazy look in her eyes, and bolts off running like a kid on crack... she's spinning in circles, chasing her tail, running repeatedly around me barking and huffing... please God, not now... ok, now I'm running after her. she's jucking left, jiving right, and then miraculously contorts her body under the fence into the neighbor's yard... there goes that blood vessel in my forehead... I was ready to kill. lol.

    40 minutes later, I finally wear her down, trap her in the corner and tossed her into the house.

    I rolled into work 1 hour late.




    and 5 minutes ago I just cleaned up a biiiiig pile of dog shit from my room again. It looked like this dog lost 50% of her body weight in this one deposit. WTF??? I didn't even feed the dog that much to warrant this poop .



    I need help... bad.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member kermit210's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Some pet-supply shops sell an herbal pill to help keep animals calm while travelling, maybe you can just keep the "little shit" sedated. BTW, puggles are cute as hell, are they expensive?
    I propose a toast - to my self control.... I see you crawling, helpless, on the floor.......
    -Mark Sandman

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    A-Guy, this is obviously all your fault. You are neglecting the dog's needs and she is acting out her frustration the only way she can. I'm sure if you spent more time relating to her in ways she would like her bad behavior would diminish. Either that or take her to a kennel and get a decent nights sleep.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    God, I got a kick out of this. My puppy is like that, only over time I learned how to control him somewhat. He did sleep all night most of the time, though. That would get on my nerves. A good idea is to give him a LONG walk right before bedtime. I'm talking, walk him until he sits down and refuses to walk anymore. Then he will go inside and pass out. It works.

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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**




    That shit was too funny

  6. #6
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

    sorry a_guy!!!!

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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    I would go "borrow" a doggie cage until the owners get back. As a puppy, it should be in a cage at night anyways. There's too many dangers for a little baby like that to be wandering around all night. What I mean by "borrow", go to Walmart and buy a cage, when the owners come back, just take it back and get back your money. It may wimper all night, but it's better then stepping in little surprises in the morning. Plus, that's a great way to potty train a puppy.

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    Member ccand7's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    The dog is missing his owner, put and old house slipper or anything with the owner sent onit
    in the bed.
    All that pass thru these portals bring Joy.
    Some when they arrive, others when they Depart!

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Wow, that made my morning (yes, 1:15pm is a morning to me.)
    I remember when mine were puppies and all of this would happen. If you don't want to get a crate sleep on the couch or floor, you can put your mattress on the floor, this would make it easier for the "little shit" to run around. Although crate training really is the best thing for puppies, especially when you aren't home.
    You can get a Cong, this is a hollow rubber toy, for the dog, and put in the crate or just with dog with peanut butter in it. This will calm the dog for a while and probably help it forget about being a little shit.
    Good Luck!
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  10. #10
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    In an effort to be helpful, I tried doing a search for "dog recipes," but the only hits I got were food you cook for dogs, or stuff involving hot dogs. What good is this Internet, anyway? However, I did find a reference to "barking mutton" as prepared by Native Americans many years ago. But no recipe.








    (Before dog lovers scream too much, it's just meant for humor. I like dogs, and have a really cool Lab.)

  11. #11
    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Quote Originally Posted by showgirlschloe
    I would go "borrow" a doggie cage until the owners get back. As a puppy, it should be in a cage at night anyways. There's too many dangers for a little baby like that to be wandering around all night. What I mean by "borrow", go to Walmart and buy a cage, when the owners come back, just take it back and get back your money. It may wimper all night, but it's better then stepping in little surprises in the morning. Plus, that's a great way to potty train a puppy.
    For any future puppy owners out there, SGC's advice is right on. My sister is a real dog person, so when I got a puppy, she said, first thing you do, is start her out sleeping in a kennel. She cried and whimpered at first, but now that's where she sleeps. Not only is it safer for the puppy, it is comforting to them as well, that's more how dogs would sleep in the wild. I doubt putting "that little shit" in one for a one or two nights would help though, it would probably make it worse.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Is it a puppy or an adult dog? My dog is the same way except she's smaller (5 pounds) I keep an ottoman at the foot of my bed so I don't have to wake up numerous times during the night to scoop her up. As far as the puggle pooping in the house maybe she's just not on her normal walk schedule anymore. She's probably sad because daddy isn't home to baby her.


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    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Thanks for the advice everyone. She's continuing to reak wavoc, however, I think ET's advice may be the best under current circumstances. I actually just took her for a 3 mile walk, and she was out cold when we get back.... although...

    I'm going to have to talk to my friend about taking showers with this dog. I have class in a little bit, and jumped in there shower. I left the door open a crack b/c they don't have a fan in the bathroom... you know.. mist and such... anyways, about 2 minutes into the shower, the little punk woke up and jumped in there with me! Well... she was just as happy as can be... barking, playing, wanting to get her dibs of the shampoo.. lol. at least the smelly beast got clean. It just kinda weird soaping up naked in front of dog... you know the stare; when the dog looks at you kinda funny with its head slightly titled... lol. I was getting self concious. HA!!!

    It must be a pretty regular event for her... I just smell like wet dog know. I think my friend has Axe body spray... I'm going to go find that now.
    Around 11 tonight, we're going for another 3 mile hike. She'll be pooped out (yes, literally ) so I can get some sleep tonight.

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    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveSexMoney
    Is it a puppy or an adult dog?
    Well, what qualifies as a puppy? She's about 8 months old.

    As far as the puggle pooping in the house maybe she's just not on her normal walk schedule anymore. She's probably sad because daddy isn't home to baby her.
    that's what I'm thinking... and she definitely gets babied waayyyyy to much. I'm getting sick of saying "come get your yum yums!!!!!!!"... or "time for a snackie!!".... or even "time to go potty!!".

    I can't wait to have my balls reattached.

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Quote Originally Posted by A_Guy
    I'm getting sick of saying "come get your yum yums!!!!!!!"...
    Instead of complaining about the dog, I think you really should re-think your choice of friends. No true friend would ever ask another friend to say, "come get your yum yums".
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    All I can say is: THANK GOD THAT DOG IS NOT AT YOUR HOUSE!!

    And, it's kinda sick that your friend let's it piss and shit all over the house. If that were my dog, he'd have a fucking diaper on...or would be relegated to sleeping on the back porch.

    Sorry to hear that you're having a bad time. The one good, bright spot is that you have 2-3 less days to babysit it. heh

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Awww she sounds like my baby! She ONLY sleeps in my bed and doesn't have a ramp or a step for it like she did at my parents house in my old bed so I have to pick her up and down. Sometimes she takes 3 poops a night, waking me up like a good girl each time to go outside. (Yes, she's a poop factory.) She digs holes all the time in the bed and itchy scratches a lot because she is allergic to fleas. I step in urine every now and again but I leave a wee-wee pad by the back door and that helps. I love her more than anything in the world and don't know what I'd do without her. She is very high maintenance which is why I've never really asked anyone to watch her. My dad once flew from New Orleans to stay with her when I went out of town because my family loves her as much as I do. I don't have a problem dealing with her usually since I love her so much and she's my baby. However, if it were a human baby I would probably be insane. I think something is wired wrong inside of me to where I have a ton of compassion for a dog but a human baby crying and pooping it's diapers makes me want to scream.

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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Quote Originally Posted by A_Guy

    .... the little punk woke up and jumped in there with me! Well... she was just as happy as can be... barking, playing, wanting to get her dibs of the shampoo.. lol. at least the smelly beast got clean. It just kinda weird soaping up naked in front of dog... you know the stare; when the dog looks at you kinda funny with its head slightly titled... lol. I was getting self concious. HA!!!
    ROFL!!!
    That made my piece of day! Sorry I dont have advice....your story is why Im a cat person.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Quote Originally Posted by Destiny
    Instead of complaining about the dog, I think you really should re-think your choice of friends. No true friend would ever ask another friend to say, "come get your yum yums".
    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    And, it's kinda sick that your friend let's it piss and shit all over the house. If that were my dog, he'd have a fucking diaper on...or would be relegated to sleeping on the back porch.
    Yes... my friend will be getting a stern talking to when he gets home. Although, after these past few days, I have a feeling I'll be saying, "Bad Friend, BAD!!! No yum yums for you!!!"

    and I'm not sure how much of this training is from him, and how much of it is from his wife. They're both guilty, I tell you.... GUILTY!!

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    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    ROFL!!!
    That made my piece of day! Sorry I dont have advice....your story is why Im a cat person.


    yes... I have been quickly reminded why I am a cat person also. Unfortunately, my Dad put our cat (which was 23 years old) to sleep not too long ago .



    and I love the av! beeeelllly rings!!!

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    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    ok. I'm at my place now and I'm about to go back in. I'll start off with another 3 mile walk (or run depending on what she's sniffin')


    wish me luck!!

  22. #22
    IACali
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Heh. My cousin just got a puggle, Rolly's about 8 months old too. Cute as a fucking button, but a holy terror.

    To save your own sanity, I'd invest in some Rescue Remedy by Bach Flower Remedies. It can be found at most any natural food store. It works on pets, adults, babies. It just calms you the fuck down. I use it on myself when I'm really depressed and sobbing hysterically and can't stop.... I use it on my daughter when she's teething or when she was younger and colicy. My aunts use it on their cats whenever they need to put them in the car because the kitties hate travel.

    It might help, and if it doesn't, it won't hurt the puppy at all.

    Have fun!! *snicker*

  23. #23
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Sigh. To quote the crazy paramilitary crackpot from "The Burbs" who had enough of a crapping dog on his lawn: "I'll staple its ass shut!"
    Quick tale: I house/ dog sat for a pal over Christmas. On Christmas Eve I locked her medium sized pit bull mix in the bathroom while I went to Midnight Mass (I didn't want to put the dog in the kennel outside, too cold.) This poor dog had never been left alone in her whole life and has "separation anxiety issues." Indeed. I came home a few hours later to find she had TUNNELED a hole THROUGH the bathroom door and chewed up the blinds while jumping at the window. I taped cardboard over the hole in the door and prayed my friend wouldn't ask me to pay for the door.
    Luckily, I didn't have to comp her for the door, but am now grateful my dog occasionally acts like he's had enough of me and takes off for a while. He's also too lazy to shred a door.

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    I'd invest in some Rescue Remedy by Bach Flower Remedies
    I've never heard of this. It really calms you down? I need it for myself! I am the most tense person.

  25. #25
    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just may kill this dog **RANT**

    Ok, my "little shit" sitting is officially over. The tally:

    Thursday:
    2 vomits (one I stepped in)
    1 hallway piss (I stepped in with socks on)
    1 hallway shit

    Friday:
    2 hallway pisses
    1 kitchen piss
    1 bedroom shit (an ungodly smell... what the hell?)

    Saturday:
    1 hallway piss (my gf stepped in)
    2 kitchen pisses (my gf also stepped in )

    Sunday:
    1 hallway piss (we had the bedroom door shut for 5 minutes!!)
    1 kitchen piss (we left the house for 15 minutes!! - there were wet paw prints throughout the kitchen)



    Thank god this is over with.... Now I'm going to take a nap

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