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Thread: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Ok, I have been trying to process this on my own since yesterday. But its making me too fucking angry !

    Yesterday, my Mom tells me that she filed my fucking taxes . I never asked her to do that nor is it appropriate ! I filed for an extension to give me time to claim everything I can. She also informed me that she took the motherfucking liberty to claim my nieces and nephew who live with me and whom I have been taking care of since their parents died over 8 years ago !
    She never helped me take care of them ! On the opposite she called fucking CPS when she learned I was a dancer ! That never went anywhere, after an investigator came out and saw what type of person I was and the fact the children were in private school and were VERY well taken care of.
    To make matters worse I called the IRS and the California tax board only to find out that she has been claiming the children on her taxes since I have been their legal guardian ! They have been sending me letters regarding this but, "somehow" my mother changed my address to hers and has been keeping it "hidden" from me !
    Honestly its not about the fucking taxes, I KNOW how to deal wth that !
    Its more about the need to be such a g*d damn control freak !
    My parents don't need the money ! They both teach at colleges in the area and purchased their many properties back when Ca. was some what affordable.
    I feel so fucking violated and betrayed ! Besides the fact I have very major health issues and I don't need the extra stressors ! I have told her several times that my doctor believes my cancer keeps progressing because of it.
    She acts like she doesn't give a fuck about anything but, her fucking self !
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Geez...I am a very calm and undramatic sort of person, but that would send me ballistic.

    If she filed your taxes without your knowledge, permission and signature, I am fairly sure that you have excellent grounds for a civil suit against her, and she might even be in jeopardy of criminal proceedings for tax fraud from the IRS and/or state of California. (Obviously, you should not take my word, or any online advice, at face value on legal matters; get a real attorney to pursue it seriously, of course.) If I were you, I would at least threaten her with getting an attorney and going after her in court if she doesn't back off...including paying you whatever you think her actions have cost you. I say "at least" because I think you should seriously consider actually doing it, not just threatening it.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

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    Veteran Member MsTopaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    girl...i understand your frustration...my sister only calls me when she needs money...like i'm fucking rockafeller or somebody...when we lived in the same house...she'd leave to do whatever...and i'd be left with my niece...since i 'have no life'...and have had others try to run my life...so i moved...600 miles away...

    anyway...big hugs to you...now go meditate or some junk... it might help...
    why do some people still have to fight to get the same opportunities that are given to others?

    reclusiveness...is a good thing.

    the greatest revenge in the world...is success.


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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Quote Originally Posted by Wwanderer
    Geez...I am a very calm and undramatic sort of person, but that would send me ballistic.
    Thats me in a nutshell ! But I am beyond ballistic and I need to control my thoughts and my action at this point. Honestly it took every ounce of energy to keep from knocking her ass out..But ths i my mother the person who gave me life. So I tread accordingly. Having said that she IS the person who gave me life and knows fucking better, or at least she should !
    I contacted the IRS and the state yesterday but, since its the weekend I have to wait until Monday rolls around to really be able to get a handle on things.
    Honestly its not the taxes thats bothering me, its the fact that she felt entitled to do this shit !
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    So, I suppose she signed YOUR name .... am I correct in assuming that? Farrah, honestly, your family sounds like mine. It sounds like they are pulling you down. I wouldn't take that shit lying down. I would change my social security number, and make sure and make a change of address form to the post office from her address to yours. You could take her to court for signing your name to change of address forms and your taxes. I would. That's just unbelievable when a person can't even trust their own damn family.... I'm very sorry.

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Quote Originally Posted by MsTopaz
    girl...i understand your frustration...my sister only calls me when she needs money...like i'm fucking rockafeller or somebody...when we lived in the same house...she'd leave to do whatever...and i'd be left with my niece...since i 'have no life'...and have had others try to run my life...so i moved...600 miles away...

    anyway...big hugs to you...now go meditate or some junk... it might help...
    Thanks babe. I picked up a book on mediation yesterday when I was at the local LGBT center. I think today is a great time to get started on it.
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Quote Originally Posted by Farrah_Holiday
    Honestly its not the taxes thats bothering me, its the fact that she felt entitled to do this shit !
    I think I understand what you mean, but I was not very clear about my thinking. I believe that the reason you need to threaten or perhaps actually take serious legal action against your mom is to send her a very clear signal that she must respect your legal rights as an adult. Imo, this could/might be the first step in convincing her to respect you more fully as a person. I am extrapolating a lot here and could easily be wrong, but my intuition is that there is nothing you could possibly say to her that she will really take seriously on a permanent basis as long as it is only words. I am guessing that she is one of those, all too common, parents whose children never really grow-up in their eyes; they think of them as permanent children. If so, no matter what you say, in her mind your mother may be thinking something like "My little girl is just upset, but later she will see that I know what is best for her"...the sort of things parents of small children think, in other words. It is an infuriating attitude for an adult child to try to deal with, of course, and you really need to do something dramatic to break through to her. Again, I realize that I could easily be misreading the situation...you can judge for yourself whether or not my scenario is anywhere close to the mark.

    (Btw, if she really only cares about herself and not you, as you wrote above, it would be terribly sad and awful of course...but it would also mean that you have to look out for your own interests almost as though you were dealing with a stranger. The fact that she is your mom implies that she should have your best interests at heart, even if she is not doing the right thing; imo, if she doesn't, then she forfeits the extra consideration you would normally owe a parent.)

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic
    So, I suppose she signed YOUR name .... am I correct in assuming that? Farrah, honestly, your family sounds like mine. It sounds like they are pulling you down. I wouldn't take that shit lying down. I would change my social security number, and make sure and make a change of address form to the post office from her address to yours. You could take her to court for signing your name to change of address forms and your taxes. I would. That's just unbelievable when a person can't even trust their own damn family.... I'm very sorry.
    Don't worry I don't plan on taking this lying down. If anything she has given me yet another reason I must beat cancer . So I should actually send her a fucking thank you card. She made a comment 3 years ago that strippers could never be home owners. A year later, I gave her an card for inspiring me to buy my own home !
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Ww,
    Its everything you describe in your post. Thats one of my mother's problems when it comes to dealing with me and also one of the main reasons I don't talk to her for long periods of time.
    How can one be a daugther to a mother who is unsure of how she wants to parent or if she even wants to parent ?
    Right now I am just focusing on remainly calm, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow getting ALL of this hist straightened out.
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Quote Originally Posted by Farrah_Holiday
    Ok, I have been trying to process this on my own since yesterday. But its making me too fucking angry !

    Yesterday, my Mom tells me that she filed my fucking taxes . I never asked her to do that nor is it appropriate ! I filed for an extension to give me time to claim everything I can. She also informed me that she took the motherfucking liberty to claim my nieces and nephew who live with me and whom I have been taking care of since their parents died over 8 years ago !
    She never helped me take care of them ! On the opposite she called fucking CPS when she learned I was a dancer ! That never went anywhere, after an investigator came out and saw what type of person I was and the fact the children were in private school and were VERY well taken care of.
    To make matters worse I called the IRS and the California tax board only to find out that she has been claiming the children on her taxes since I have been their legal guardian ! They have been sending me letters regarding this but, "somehow" my mother changed my address to hers and has been keeping it "hidden" from me !
    Honestly its not about the fucking taxes, I KNOW how to deal wth that !
    Its more about the need to be such a g*d damn control freak !
    My parents don't need the money ! They both teach at colleges in the area and purchased their many properties back when Ca. was some what affordable.
    I feel so fucking violated and betrayed ! Besides the fact I have very major health issues and I don't need the extra stressors ! I have told her several times that my doctor believes my cancer keeps progressing because of it.
    She acts like she doesn't give a fuck about anything but, her fucking self !
    She broke the law!

    That is gonna catch up with either you or her. They are gonna give you a bunch of hassle until they figure out it was her who was doing this thing - but were you sending in your own taxes too?

    You gotta protect yourself from her!

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Yes, I have been filing my taxes for a very long time now.
    After she told me what she had done. I immediately contacted the IRS and the
    State, thats how I found out ALL of whats been going on for a few years.
    I lived in Texas for quite a number of years so I can kinda understand. Her getting one
    over on the State but, I've been residing in Ca for the past 2 years and don't you think they would've caught that by now ? Not to metion the IRS! Gesh ! Not to mention we had to 2 different addresses. So I am glad she told " oh, honey I filed your taxes for you".
    If she hadn't I wouldn't have known abot ANY of this crap until the tax man smacked me with an audit or a fucking lien. Oh I am getting pissed again.
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    I would contact an attorney (preferably a tax attorney). You could be in for a lot of trouble if your mom and you are both claiming the kids on your taxes. However, the law is in your corner if you are legal guardian (your mom is going to get into a lot of trouble) and if she filed your taxes without your consent or permission (she'll also get into a lot of trouble here, as well). I don't understand how she would be able to file your taxes without knowing how much you made or any other documentation...like and EIN or anything.

    I'm thankful for my mom and my family...they don't pull this shit. I do think that you should go after her legally...if for no other reason than to hammer home the fact that all of our choices/actions have consequences. Your mother is an intelligent woman...you can't tell me that she didn't know that she was doing something "wrong".

    There is also a way of protecting your information with the IRS. I believe that you can passcode your information, so no one can call (like your mom, who would know your SS#) and change/alter information. I believe that they implemented this stuff because of the "identity theft" issue going on.

    I hate to say this, too...but you should pull a current tri-merge credit report and make sure that everything is on the up and up. I would hate to think that your mom is doing anything else with your social security number...but one of my friends found out that her dad was using her social security number and maxing out credit cards and not paying them...so...since she'll do something like this...check the report!

    I know that this will all work out. Just remember that nothing should get in the way of you taking care of yourself and that you should not let someone make your decisions. Stand up for yourself. You may piss off some people in the short run...but you'll respect and love yourself more in the long run.

    Let me know if you need anything. Here is a .

    Lots of love and positive energy,
    Venus

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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Thanks VG..I adopted the children after I was emancipated and living on my own "legally" for a full year. So she doesn't have a leg to stand on. I am not really worried about her, as I have
    all the legal documents and receipts which show "true" support.
    Her definition of support is giving a present or taking someone out to dinner. Get my point..

    I am just glad her ego is fucking big that she actually would tell me about what she did.
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    In any case and however you choose to deal with it, good luck and best wishes. A lot of trouble and sorrow in life is beyond anyone's control; it is terrible when your family goes out of their way to generate completely needless problems for you.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    I am fairly sure that you have excellent grounds for a civil suit against her, and she might even be in jeopardy of criminal proceedings for tax fraud from the IRS and/or state of California.
    Don't forget mail fraud, which is a federal offense. Get a lawyer. You might need one in the event the IRS is less forgiving and forgets who the victim here is.

    Best of luck with your treatment.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Yoga. Have a drink.. calm down. Sounds like you have my temper too. Sounds like you have a plan of action as well - wanna vent? I have an extra ear, send me a message. I'm good at nodding and saying unhuh on cue. xxoo

    Rhiannon
    Southern gal and sister in the thong brigade.

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    This is absurd! One good thing, and probably the only one, is you got notice before you actually heard you were in trouble.

    My best wishes in protecting yourself from your fraudulent Mom. Give thought to just thoroughly protecting yourself, and let other powers handle her intrusion.

    Too bad she cannot find it in her heart to support you, rather than passing moral judgement. Sounds like she has some serious reflecting to do.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    I'm so sorry about this sweets. *Hugs* I went through something similar, but not even close to that scale. Just remember, it is your family, so suing them isn't going to be a good feeling. You are incredibly bright and clever, and I have full faith you will beat the obstacles.

    Call me if you want to chat about it!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    But, at the same time (referring to post above). You don't have to sue your family...you just have to take care of yourself. However, in the process of straightening out the mess your mother created...the powers that be will most likely decide to go after your mother for her "questionable" decisions. I would hope that the only bad thing she did was do your taxes and claim your kids. Let's hope that she's on the up and up with her own taxes and exemptions/write-offs. If not...she's going to be in for a hell of an audit.

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    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    wow thats some fucked up shit.. i live 1800 miles away from my family and i do love to have my space... If my mother did that.. I would take some legal action.


    well after i cussed her out good.. If theres one good thing my mom taught me... dont let people walk all over you... last thing you want to be is the public sidewalk..

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Your mom sounds like a capital "B".I feel really bad for you.She knows about your health and still manages to treat you poorly.What a heartless wench.

    *HUGS*

    Hope you feel better soon.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Well, come to find out she did the some thing to my older sister a few years back. My sister never mentioned it because I was living in Tx. My mom had opened numerous custodian accounts under both of our names to be able to avoid taxes. She apparently forgot to pay the taxes when a group of stocks were sold. So since the transaction was done under my sister's
    name, the state not only denied the refund my sister was due, they slapped her with a lien.

    So yesterday I spent the day submitting documentation to the IRS and the State tax board.
    It wasn't too hard since I keep track of EVERYTHING.
    I can't wait for her to explain how she has been supporting me and my family.

    I know my mom is a total controlling cunt but, its not all her fault either my stepdad filed with her too.
    He could've easily said "no, honey this is wrong"
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    And, with each breath, we make our bed...oblivious to the fact that we will soon be laying in it.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Holy sh*t,what a f*cking b*tch!!!She and my mom would get along great.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

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  25. #25
    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
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    Default Re: You did WHAT ??!! *Rant*

    Quote Originally Posted by Farrah_Holiday
    So yesterday I spent the day submitting documentation to the IRS and the State tax board. It wasn't too hard since I keep track of EVERYTHING.
    Aja... now, "Step 2": Take a copy of everything you've submitted to the IRS and the State tax board to a Tax Attorney, tell him/her anything and everything you know re the entire mess, and hire him to protect your interests and deal with the IRS/State from this point forward (just my .02, but when/if you're ever confronted with something like this again, "consult/hire attorney" should normally be "Step 1," not "Step 2"... but, in this case, what's done is done, so "Step 2" it is). Good luck!

    PS - just my .02, but if you and your Mom are still on speaking terms, you might want to let her know what you've done, as she appears to be in a very precarious position and should probably hire counsel to deal with IRS/State from the get-go (understand you're angry... but having her learn her lesson through financial loss, etc., is one thing; having this spiral out of control and result in the imposition of criminal charges against her is another thing altogether!)
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
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    - Boss, re Luke

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    it's that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it.
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