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Thread: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

  1. #26
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    Speaking as someone who sees things from the other side of the fence by dint of having drifted into several OTC friendships with dancers I have noted several psychological effects.

    (a) Trust.

    Dancers are very slow to trust people. Working in an environment where they are often treated poorly by men who think they are an easy sexual conquest, makes it difficult for them to react to the small percentage of genuine people they meet.

    (b) Stigma of job.

    Because taking off your clothes for a living is often regarded as a sexual service rather than just entertainment, there is a stigma attached to it. Many dancers are very defensive about what they do for that reason.

    The need to keep what they do secret from except all but a very trusted circle of close friends and family also seems to impose a strain.

    (c) Attitude towards men.

    Dancers sometimes seem to have difficulty in treating men they meet outside of work, (and who may be completely unaware of what they do), differently from the men they meet while working, (and who have a very different agenda from the men they meet outside of work.)

    In extreme cases, there are one or two dancers who treat every guy they meet as a wallet to be emptied, irrespective of the situation in which they meet him.

    (d) Effect on self esteem.

    Some dancers seem to develop low self esteem as a result of working as a stripper. They then seek ways of bolstering this esteem. At worst case this can mean them getting involved with totally inappropriate men, leading to them having a poor a time outside of work as they do in it.

    One dancer I know has a husband who physically abuses her and runs up debts for her to pay, yet she lacks the confidence to leave this pr*&k.

    (e) Physical contact.

    Again, some dancers seem to develop a dislike of even innocent physical contact. When I first met one dancer it was hug and peck on the lips. Over about 18 months this became hug and peck on the cheek, and then quick hug, all at her request - and this is someone who likes and trusts me enough to invite me round her flat for meals.

    ------------------

    Some dancers seem to cope very well with the effects of dancing and some, sadly, are changed, either temporarily or permanantly, by their choice of profession.

    Going back to my earlier point, I think a lot of this stems from stripping being seen as a sexual service, rather than entertainment. Change the perception, and I think many dancers would have a much easier time.

    Phil.

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  3. #27
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    Im not a stripper but readong this thread was interesting.

    Im amazed that some of you have social anxieties. It isn't what I would imagine at all.

  4. #28
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by lollygirl
    Im not a stripper but readong this thread was interesting.

    Im amazed that some of you have social anxieties. It isn't what I would imagine at all.
    There is a stigma attached to dancing and from my (male) experience it makes dancers very wary of revealing their occupation. Outside of work, the dancers I know only tell a small and very trusted circle of friends what they do.

    I see several dancers outside of work, (on a purely friendly basis). I have never and will never tell any of my more conventional friends how they earn a living. This is for two reasons:

    (a) I've always thought it is the dancer's privilage to decide who and when to tell how she earns a living. It's their perogative, not mine. On the one or two occassions I bumped into someone "conventional" I know while out with a dancer, they have shown no inclination to tell.

    (b) If it becomes apparent someone is a dancer, the dumbass questions start. "What was it like the first time you danced?" "Do you get a kick out of it?" They get enough of this crap at work without having to suffer it in the real world as well.

    Phil.

  5. #29
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    Hey, I had more anxiety about unpaid bills....

    Some slights really hurt, though. Some of my relatives are convinced I am a "crack ho"....which is ridiculous.
    One relative asked me if it was God's will that I take my clothes off for a roomful of men. I thought, With a body like this...yes! That's another change in me that I'm on the fence about...vanity! LOL

  6. #30
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    I don't think strippers are given much of a stigma in Australia. Are they?

  7. #31
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    Here's my "book"....

    I'm going to mention the negatives then the postives....

    Well, I am definitely more conservative and cautious. Dancing has taught me a lot. When I see girls at night clubs wearing pratically bras and shaking their asses now it disgusts me. It's like they are making themselves an object and yet not even getting paid for it and that's something I guess I cannot understand. I'm more cautious about men offering me things and complimenting me because I now know that 90% of the time they just want down my pants. Ignorance was bliss I guess.
    Yup -- That's me ....

    Chocolate Kisses ... wow... I can totally relate to your post!! That's me !

    Due to how I 'view' men now.. it has affected my relationships. I don't date anymore.. and havn't dated for quite some time. My last 'intimate relationship' was more sexual/lust in nature than anything else... therefore ever since I have been doing this "job".. I havn't had a decent real 'initmate' relationship since... I have trust issues basically.

    As a positive, it has been one of the few work-places where I am actually getting along with females. All my life (and to this day) I have always had more male than female friends. It is thanks to my relationship (what relationship?) with my mother mainly (I know this)... I never really knew how to "get along" with females whereas I knew how to "get along" with males (due to my father and younger brother). I have also travelled alot ... shown myself that I can travel elsewhere to other locales that I have never been to before by myself and be totally okay... goodness.. I went to Vegas by myself! Proud of that moment.

    Dancing has given me many proud moments... however there have been some horrify-ing experiences (at least three) that have "eaten away" at my soul. That's the down-side.

    Another postive is that it has made me more financially literate. It has given me the $$ to buy the books, the CDs and so forth (even have the constant internet access) so that I now know alot of about wealth and wealth creation.

    The negative is that I can fall into some traps monetary-wise due to my persute (sp?) of wealth and passive income.

    Another postive is that I now know that I can go to a party where all I know is the host/ess... and be totally okay. Dancing did teach me how to initiate and carry a conversation.. "the art of small talk" as such. That's a plus.

    Again, some dancers seem to develop a dislike of even innocent physical contact.
    I will go through phases with this due to working (and being "raised" as a stripper) in a touching environment. I'm a sensual person so I require a certain amount of touch in my life anyway or else I will become depressed (even something simple as my cat lying on my lap counts)..... however sometimes I will be really busy at work.. dancing for a whole heap of different people.. and become sensative (sp?) to touch due to receiving too much of it.

    The way I deal with this is by striving to do less dances.. and if I do any longer length (time-wise) dances to either get the customer talking or have the customer allow me to ramble on (and I can talk forever!).... this way the touching is kept minimal. I'll even dance in a way so that the customer has less contact with me (whilst still under the illusion that he's getting something hot, of course).


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    When I first started dancing I just got out of the most F%^Ked up relationship EVER!!! I think dancing amplified my trust issues. Sometimes I'll see the guys with wedding rings on and they are totally trying to get you to meet them outside the club. It repulses me. In general I just don't trust people anymore. Before I I became a dancer, I was a model. But now I am always critical of myself. I make more money than I ever have, but I stress over it constantly. I don't like going out much anymore, and dread the question...so, what do you do for a living? In a lot of ways I feel isolated. I tend to get pretty depressed at times.

  9. #33
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    on top of social anxiety being common, id have to say body dismorphic is another commom "stripper trait"

    there have been studies done on adult entertainers and mental health issues...ill try find them again and post the link. i found it quite interesting.
    theres alot of simmialrities betweeen dancers, but no one really talks about it.

  10. #34
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    The whole female world is body dismorphic.

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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    ^
    I had body dysmophic disorder long before I started dancing. Society and it's obsession with thiness/perfectness has harmed me way more than dancing ever could.


    'Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'
    T.S Eliot

    I believe you Dottie and you have my support






  12. #36
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by lollygirl
    The whole female world is body dismorphic.
    no, theres a distinct difference between worrying about your ass being fat, and obsessing to the point where you change your jeans 8 times,and spend an hour putting on makeup,and another hour doing your hair, while freaking out at a tiny mole on your ankle...all to go to the 7-11 to get some milk at 3am.

    trust me.

    theres a massive difference, and those with body dismorphia know it.

    Body Dysmorphic Disorder
    SYMPTOMS

    Preoccupation with an imagined defect in appearance. If a slight physical anomaly is present, the person's concern is markedly excessive.
    The preoccupation causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

    The preoccupation is not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., dissatisfaction with body shape and size in Anorexia Nervosa).


    i strongly suggest you have a look around this site if you think you may have even mild BDD...it will help

  13. #37
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    oops.forgot to paste address..

  14. #38
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    I think this is a very interesting thread. Thanks for starting it!

    I think I have become happier since I started dancing. I have my fiancee and son, and am very happy to be able to afford to help support them and save for the things we need. My sex life is the same, if not better, and well I don't drink or party anyways because I choose to keep my focus on my family when I am not working. A social life is nice but is not really a high priority to me.
    I am in better shape, am enjoying my family, and have $$$ now too. My relationship with my fiancee is stronger and we make time to do fun things together. We went to enjoy some live music the other night. It was nice to be the one getting entertained as opposed to being the entertainer. I am a little more tired these days because the job is physically demanding, but my body is smaller now -hooray-so the hard work is paying off in more ways than one!
    As far as dealing with the job itself...I don't take anyone's words or actions ITC too personally. They don't know me as me, they only know me as a stripper and of course they have their preconceived notions regarding who I am. And I work in a no touch club, which helps. I do not have a high tolerance for BS but as soon as I encounter an asshole I try and keep plugging along in hopes of finding a custy who rocks, plain and simple.
    I do take safety precautions but am not paranoid about people attacking me or anything.
    Overall...I have a great and supportive family, more $$ in the bank, and a stronger, cuter body. What is there to be anxious about?
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

  15. #39
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    For the first couple of years dancing I didn't see anything different about my mental health, but lately I have been evaluating myself, and I'm not sure if dancing is the cause, or if I was going to be this way anyhow.

    I do get anti social, and sometimes get a small amount of anxiety, but not to the point of leaving the grocery store when I need to shop or anything. I usually just will go out at off hours when there are less people around.

    I have no patience for being hit on, and am flat out rude to guys who don't accept "no" for an answer. I never would have been this way before I was a dancer. If a guy is drunk and is hitting on me, before he can even complete a sentence I will say something like "Don't talk to me, ever again!" and walk in the other direcction. I had one man get insistent and followed me through Wal Mart late one night asking what was wrong etc. etc. I turned around and screamed at the top of my lungs like I was being raped or something, He left pretty quickly after that . I was shopping with another dancer from the same club, and she was shocked that I acted that way, but I just had no patience for being hit on.

    I have also noticed feeling disconnected from my body. I see my body as a tool to earn money and lose touch with my physical self. My brain functions on one level and my body on another level. I care for my body like it is a prized possesion, but I can't get over the feeling of being apart from myself- I'm reading this and it isn't making much sense, I just don't know how else to phrase this feeling.

    I do like my quiet time too. I think that is a natural reaction to being pounded by music for 8 hours a day. You are also bombarded by flashing lights, and it is a party everytime I go to work. I just feel over stimulated by my envrioment, and some peace and quiet for a day or two a week is nice. I really have to work myself up to going out with friends, as this isn't really very enjoyable for me, but I know they enjoy seeing me and getting away from their quiet and mundane jobs for a while. Vegas was total overload for me, and I don't think I'll be going back real soon.

    I guess overall I deal with my job pretty well. I have a very strong support base at home. I don't drink, I don't use drugs (except for the occasional bong hit), and am really a pretty normal person aside from the above mentioned things. Hopefully I can move back into a regular job with relative ease when I am finished dancing.

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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    I have been experiencing similar anxiety issues as well. I have been stalked several times in the last couple of years. The stalker showed up in front of my house a few weeks ago, another time he was driving by when I was walking my dog. Lately I have been afraid to leave my house. When I do I am always looking over my shoulder. I live in a tiny little town and there is nowhere to hide. Everytime I go out I run into customers everywhere. Just going to the grocery store, I see everyone I would rather not.

    I used to go out all the time before I started dancing. I was traveling, going to nightclubs and parties nonstop for years and I miss that so much. I choose to be by myself because most of my coworkers are out of control, so I feel safe and protected at home. I spend most of my time with my fiance, my dogs and have taken a lot of time off to learn about myself (introspection). What I want out of life. Strategies of getting out of this business and getting back to school.

    I don't like being anxious, nervous and afraid.
    It's terribly painful feeling this way, I want to break out of this isolation- even though I enjoy my own company, it gets lonely and scary.

    It's comforting knowing I'm not the only one going through this. Thank you for sharing everyone.

  17. #41
    Veteran Member devilsadvocate667's Avatar
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    Man, I love this forum. It's not often you see people opening up and being honest rather than protected or acting how they think people want them to.

    I've lived with anxiety all my life. I think a lot of people get into dancing because of that. It's also aparent that people can also aquire anxiety because of the job.

    But I have news for you; just about every job can give you anxiety. I was working corporate jobs a few years back, before I returned to dancing, and those jobs can make you phyically ill with anxiety. the more money you make in the corporate world, the more they want you to earn your money. But every job has those little things that make you hate it and effect your life outside of work.

    The hopeful part is that anxiety is one of the most treatable mental issues.
    Even after a few sessions with a good doctor, you can be well on your way to beating it. You're not crazy. You're just racting to your environment. You either have to change your environment or change your perception of it.

    This is an online depression/Anxiety test. I found it pretty comprehensive.
    It's pretty accurate at pinpointing your symptoms, as long as you are honest with the questions.

    http://www.depressioncenter.net/depressiontest/


  18. #42
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    For the first couple of years dancing I didn't see anything different about my mental health, but lately I have been evaluating myself, and I'm not sure if dancing is the cause, or if I was going to be this way anyhow.

    I do get anti social, and sometimes get a small amount of anxiety, but not to the point of leaving the grocery store when I need to shop or anything. I usually just will go out at off hours when there are less people around.

    I have no patience for being hit on, and am flat out rude to guys who don't accept "no" for an answer. I never would have been this way before I was a dancer. If a guy is drunk and is hitting on me, before he can even complete a sentence I will say something like "Don't talk to me, ever again!" and walk in the other direcction.
    This is so much like me!

    I was OK, even happier and better off for the first 2 years or so of dancing, but the last year has really f'ed me up, esp. in how I react to men.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  19. #43
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    Default Re: Psychological Effects of Dancing?

    Stripping has brought out some interesting psychological effects in me from the very beginning. Unlike a lot of people here, I didn't lose patience for physical contact -- I developed it. I never hugged or touched anyone unnecessarily, and I still battle with those boundaries outside the club, but it was much worse when I started. A lapdance was not a feasible option. I didn't start doing them until 2013, and I started dancing in 2010.

    Within the first month or so after I started, going through extremely painful and emotional times made it very difficult to get onstage, and even moreso to take off my clothes. It's like I was wearing my trials for all to see, visibly vulnerable, and an easy target. People would try take advantage of me most under those circumstances, or my business would suck. Even though I know that just happens sometimes, it would turn into a cycle: fight with boyfriend, suck at work, lose self-esteem points for not making enough money or being rejected too often, make mistakes.

    Now I'm stronger. I know how important energy is, and when not to work. I know my boundaries and when to say no, and how. I know who I don't want to be trapped alone in a room with, regardless of cost. I cover all my skin when I have to go to a nightclub, I've lost all desire to meet new people, especially men, and I'm friends with a lot more females than I've ever been in my life. My self-esteem is higher, my boundaries more valuable, my time is less wasted. I don't find it terribly regrettable that my trust is less accessible, since I've seen some shit. I'm also quicker to call out sexual harassment irl, because there is absolutely no way you're treating me like shit and not paying me for it, don't care who or where. Fuck, that.

    And damn this thread is old.

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