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Thread: Strangely, they do not seem to be joking!

  1. #1
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Strangely, they do not seem to be joking!

    I hope I am not violating any copyrights with this, but I just had to show you guys this article.

    The author is Sexy Scribe and ynot.com. here is the original URL:
    http://www.ynot.com/index.php?module...tail&uid=22218

    Anal Sex and BJs: Doin’ it for Christ
    You gotta love a double standard.

    Maybe I’m just getting older and words don’t mean the same thing anymore as they once used to. Apparently sex isn’t sex anymore. Or maybe it never was, and I had it all wrong to begin with.

    Back when I was in high school, the nuns charged with guarding the moral fibre of us adolescent girls insisted that any form of sex was simply taboo. Sex was one of those things the Catholic Church frowned upon, in toto, whether it was anal, oral, vaginal. It was just all rolled into one tight little package labelled SIN, and fell under the category of DO NOTs for the good Christian girl.

    Well, apparently the nuns had it all wrong.

    According to www.sexinchrist.com, oral and anal sex are the way to a satisfying pre-marital sex life between heterosexual partners. As far as I was taught, you weren’t supposed to have a sex life before marriage, but this site claims that good Christians don’t have to suffer complete abstinence: “Fortunately, you can engage in anal sex prior to marriage and still be able to share the deeper, more meaningful act of consecrated love through vaginal intercourse with your wedded spouse.”

    Anal sex? A sin loophole?

    Apparently, there’s even scripture to back it up. “How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding daughter who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ' Who will come against me?" (Jeremiah 49:4) and a passage in Lamentations 2:10 describes how “The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,” which apparently indicates how virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex.

    I feel deceived. The nuns never mentioned any of this.

    The site has even more to say on the subject of oral sex. The Bible is full of support for oral sex, so long as it’s not homosexual in nature, of course.

    Here’s one from the Song of Solomon: "I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved." (Song of Solomon 5:1)

    It sounds more like the dessert table at an all-night buffet, but I suppose the eating euphemism is even older than the Bible, and all writers are allowed a cliché now and then. The Song of Solomon appears to be one long eating metaphor for oral sex.

    In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)

    ... come, wind of the south; make my garden breathe out fragrance, let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits! (Song of Solomon 4:16)

    The Necessity of Swallowing

    At least the nuns didn’t completely lead me astray. The site agrees with them on one distinct point. It’s still a sin to spill seed. Poor Onan found that out the hard way when instead of coming in his sister-in-law, he pulled out and “spilled it on the ground lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also." (Genesis 38:9)

    Moreover, if the sin factor isn’t enough to convince your pre-marital girlfriend to swallow, try to sell her on the benefits of swallowing. “As Christ indicates, drinking of the “living water” provides a spiritual replenishment for the soul.”

    Damn those lying nuns who kept me from spiritual replenishment!

    “In summary, we can say that the Scripture supports and even encourages the act of oral sex between loving heterosexual partners. Moreover, the Bible specifically encourages fellatio to completion (orgasm) with the female partner consuming or swallowing the ejaculate. This prevents spilling seed, which is an affront to the Lord, and also provides spiritual benefit to the receiving partner. Oral sex has the added benefits of preventing unwanted pregnancies and helping couples satisfy their sexual urges while preserving their chastity until marriage. For these reasons, all Christian men and women should feel confident and comfortable including oral sex as part of their sexual life in accordance with God’s will.”

    Now they tell me!

    ___
    Read more about "Sexuality According to the Word of God" at www.sexinchrist.com.


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    Veteran Member Celeste25's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strangely, they do not seem to be joking!

    I'm at a loss for words.... what would Benedict XVI think of this?? I wonder.
    You know the saying? ... Celeste is the best!

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    Veteran Member Blueyez's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strangely, they do not seem to be joking!

    LMAO! I knew many girls in HS that did anal to preserve their "virginity" - everyone always made fun of them because, obviously, they weren't virgins any more regardless of what they thought!

    Perhaps it is time to reconsider! lol
    Never underestimate a hot chick with brains - even if she's nekkid!

    Women are like spaghetti - they're str8 until you get them wet.

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strangely, they do not seem to be joking!

    Quote Originally Posted by colleen
    I hope I am not violating any copyrights with this, but I just had to show you guys this article.

    The author is Sexy Scribe and ynot.com. here is the original URL:
    http://www.ynot.com/index.php?module...tail&uid=22218

    Anal Sex and BJs: Doin’ it for Christ
    You gotta love a double standard.

    Maybe I’m just getting older and words don’t mean the same thing anymore as they once used to. Apparently sex isn’t sex anymore. Or maybe it never was, and I had it all wrong to begin with.

    Back when I was in high school, the nuns charged with guarding the moral fibre of us adolescent girls insisted that any form of sex was simply taboo. Sex was one of those things the Catholic Church frowned upon, in toto, whether it was anal, oral, vaginal. It was just all rolled into one tight little package labelled SIN, and fell under the category of DO NOTs for the good Christian girl.

    Well, apparently the nuns had it all wrong.

    According to www.sexinchrist.com, oral and anal sex are the way to a satisfying pre-marital sex life between heterosexual partners. As far as I was taught, you weren’t supposed to have a sex life before marriage, but this site claims that good Christians don’t have to suffer complete abstinence: “Fortunately, you can engage in anal sex prior to marriage and still be able to share the deeper, more meaningful act of consecrated love through vaginal intercourse with your wedded spouse.”

    Anal sex? A sin loophole?

    Apparently, there’s even scripture to back it up. “How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding daughter who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ' Who will come against me?" (Jeremiah 49:4) and a passage in Lamentations 2:10 describes how “The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,” which apparently indicates how virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex.

    I feel deceived. The nuns never mentioned any of this.

    The site has even more to say on the subject of oral sex. The Bible is full of support for oral sex, so long as it’s not homosexual in nature, of course.

    Here’s one from the Song of Solomon: "I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved." (Song of Solomon 5:1)

    It sounds more like the dessert table at an all-night buffet, but I suppose the eating euphemism is even older than the Bible, and all writers are allowed a cliché now and then. The Song of Solomon appears to be one long eating metaphor for oral sex.

    In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)

    ... come, wind of the south; make my garden breathe out fragrance, let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits! (Song of Solomon 4:16)

    The Necessity of Swallowing

    At least the nuns didn’t completely lead me astray. The site agrees with them on one distinct point. It’s still a sin to spill seed. Poor Onan found that out the hard way when instead of coming in his sister-in-law, he pulled out and “spilled it on the ground lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also." (Genesis 38:9)

    Moreover, if the sin factor isn’t enough to convince your pre-marital girlfriend to swallow, try to sell her on the benefits of swallowing. “As Christ indicates, drinking of the “living water” provides a spiritual replenishment for the soul.”

    Damn those lying nuns who kept me from spiritual replenishment!

    “In summary, we can say that the Scripture supports and even encourages the act of oral sex between loving heterosexual partners. Moreover, the Bible specifically encourages fellatio to completion (orgasm) with the female partner consuming or swallowing the ejaculate. This prevents spilling seed, which is an affront to the Lord, and also provides spiritual benefit to the receiving partner. Oral sex has the added benefits of preventing unwanted pregnancies and helping couples satisfy their sexual urges while preserving their chastity until marriage. For these reasons, all Christian men and women should feel confident and comfortable including oral sex as part of their sexual life in accordance with God’s will.”

    Now they tell me!

    ___
    Read more about "Sexuality According to the Word of God" at www.sexinchrist.com.
    Sounds a lot like rationalizing one's lack of desires to follow the teachings of their religion. I guess it's not a Sin if you can believe it has a tacit Imprimatur through Scripture interpetation.

    I've always thought that if it troubles you and you think something of this nature is a sin or non-moral, then don't do it. If you have no moral qualms about doing something of this nature, then go ahead and do it. Don't sit on the fence and rationalize your way to it. That will never fully satisfy your questions.

  5. #5
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Strangely, they do not seem to be joking!

    Whyyyy don't we all just git druuuuuunk...and screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew?
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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