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Thread: The Woman's Instruction Book

  1. #1
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default The Woman's Instruction Book

    For all of you whom I adore so much :-)

    The Woman's Instruction Book

    Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.

    Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.

    Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

    What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

    So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

    If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there.

    Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.

    Never let your man's mind wander - its too little to be left out alone.

    Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

    Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.

    Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

    The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

    If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

    A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I'll stay the night".

    Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.

    Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.

    If he asks you if you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.

    When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  2. #2
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Woman's Instruction Book

    LMFAO Mojo! I love all of those! My favorite is the last one. Muahahaha

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