Hey will all you DJs post your favorite and funniest lines? And Dancers post the best you've heard from your DJ? This could get fun!![]()
Hey will all you DJs post your favorite and funniest lines? And Dancers post the best you've heard from your DJ? This could get fun!![]()
Working hard in Florida...
xxx KELLY xxx
The best DJ I have ever seen in any club was this fairly new to the scene guy named Johnny Mac and he worked at Centerfolds 2000 in N.oxford Ma .
He used to say this to get the crowd to applaud " if ur not clapping then ur probably jacking so come one guys get your hand off your peter and give these girls a round " or something like that ..... and he use to give everyone cute little names that went with there stage name like " Rocking Ricki Lynn our own west coast cutie "
I dunno working with him always made me laugh
I work with a DJ now who will whisper in the mic " buy a dance buy a dance " its pretty cute , nice try at a sudliminal guilt trip
I like it when the club allows the DJ's to anounce any thing extra we have done when they callus to stage .... like if we have won pageants or this girl I danced with was a cheerleader for the Jacksonville Jaguars ... that stuff gets the guys attention
Today I told my DJ that I would suck his dick if he would NOT play "Margaritaville" since its Loco Gringo Thursday theme day and its requisite.
He answered, "Well my mama sucks my dick every day so I can play whatever I please!"
It WAS all said in jest, but how about THAT line. Luckily the crowd didn't hear it.......![]()
"Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
"And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion
Originally Posted by Mia M


this isn't so much relating to dancers, but a dj siad it the otehr night and i thought it was kinda funny.
he says in the mic..."wow, somebody in here is gonna win an awesome trip tonight"
the crowd then ponders this ...some begin to ask questions in the djs general direction.
"yes, that's right...a trip home in the cold because if you own a blue ford your lights are on"
in retrospect i'm not sure how funny it is, but at the time when i was all tired and whatnot i had a chuckle over it.





My best line, as far as response goes, was "Get up to the stage guys, and tip the lovely ladies. They'll thank you, trust me. Otherwise they may ALL become... LESBIANS! And then I'LL be the one thankig you."
But my pal Todd has a good one I like... "Line up those table dances, guys. I garauntee these ladies will take good care of you. And if yo want a second opinion, feel free to buy me a dance too."
or
"If you like what you see on stage, reach into your pocket and pull out some cash for the lady. If you THINK you like what you see but arent sure yet, reach into your buddy's pocket and pull out some cash for her. If you DONT like what you see at all, reach your hand into your buddy's pocket... and leave it there, the nearest gay bar is on (road name here)."
Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
*******************************
Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."
Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."





Originally Posted by quaid
heheheheheheheheheh
I hate making those stupid announcements!!!!!!!!
I feel like the page boy at the movie theater.
"paging mr preston,paging mr Preston!!"
If I gotta do it,I always stop the music and say something like..
"If your the owner of a white Escalade,Virginia plates,please come to the parking lot immediatly,your vehical is on fire!"
This usually gets the attention of the owner,he is the one jumping from underneath a dancer he was getting a lapdance from and running for the door.
I usually only have to make the announcement once.![]()
Managers now hate slippin me a piece of paper with a lights on message.They know the music/show stops for the announcement of a car fire,tires slashed,or windshield busted out and some guy is running down the street with thier new pioneer.![]()
If done correctly,its even a crowd booster!!!
I play it up as seriouse as possible and as public as possible,that way,everyone in the room is laughing at the poor smuck who's car is on fire as he is jumping over tables to get to the front door.
Leave your lights on when im working,well,thats just asking for me to fuck witcha.





ok heres one,but it sometimes gets outta hand and pisses a manager or two off.![]()
If the room is kinda full,but kinda dead,I will announce a treasure hunt song.
I will tell everyone that for the next song,if they find the gift certificate under thier seat,they get to use it on any dancer in the house for a free lapdance for the next song,even if it means bring down a dancer from the stage rotation.
Find the GC and whatever girl you want,she be yours for the next song,doesnt matter whats she is doing or who she is with!!!
Now if its a roomfull of sane,somewhat sober guys,they will all jump up and check the chair they were sitting in.
If its a roomfull of somewhat intoxicated guys,they are gonna check thier chair,and maybe the two or three chairs around them.
But if its a roomfull of drunk ass phuckers,they are gonna start flippin chairs over like they are looking for the wholly Grail.
Alot of damage can be done during a 3 min song so be careful!!!
Of course they never check the DJ's chair,or at least not in the first 3 mins,so at the end i tell everyone that they suck and didnt find it.
But by that time,I have every guy,or almost every guy,at least, get the fuck up and circulate his blood stream!!!
Usually it gets a laugh,but sometimes,it turns into a mob and a dj could get boo boo's,so i always say the next song....
The first guy who tosses a 20 dollar bill on stage gets a free lapdance from the girl on stage when she gets down.
They think they won something and the girls has her first 3 mins after he stage set sold before she hits the carpet,and usually its from someone new and another potential regular!
Everyone wins and the dj doesnt get bottles tossed at him!!!





Theres so much i wanna ask about this reply Kat,like did he play it,or whats on the table for songs you WANT to hear!!!Originally Posted by Katrine
![]()
But I wont.....![]()
I will settle for this...
In your avatar,your dropping your jeans in front of what looks like a lake....
Your location is austin.....
Would that be lake Travis,and your standing on the hilltop overlooking hippie hollow??
Lake Mead, Nevada, when I was milking the suckers in Vegas for every penny.....Originally Posted by BigGreenMnM
Your new nickname...PageBoy!![]()
"Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
"And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion
Originally Posted by Mia M





Yeah, those are the beautiful mountains of central Texas . . . oh, wait, that's when Kat turns around.
OK, I don't know about good lines, but here are some memorable ones:
"A pretty lady with no drawers on--that's better than Cheerios and beer!"
"Sir, when you're that close, do you really think you need your glasses?"
"This little lady's got more moves than U-Haul!"
"This girl's got more curves than 2222 (curvy road in Austin)."
"Her legs are so long, you don't go down on her, you go up."
"Come on up and slip a little green on the lean."
"These girls are looking for something that's six inches long with a head on it--money."





heheheheheheh
Ok i did this one tonight,and it got a few laughs...
Gentlemen...
Please remember...
These ladies got thier jobs because they are hotter then the hinges on hells door.
I got my job because i fucked Paula Abdul.
The manager got his job because he fucked Simon!
hehehehehehehehehe
i crack myself up sometimes!





ok,it looks kinda stupid when ya write it down.
Guess ya had to be there!

Ok this has to be the dumbest thing ever and thank god I wasnt the one who said it, but a dj I work with gets the crowd going by yelling poop shoot whenever a dancer bends over needless to say he yells that word a lot and it drives me nuts because he does it every night but it gets the crowd going.





Ack!!!!!Originally Posted by misstressdj
lol
If i said that i would die!!!
lol
Im purty sure i could take um one on one,but they would gang up on me for sure for a line like that!
lololol!





He yells "poop chute"? Wow, THAT'S classy. I agree with Big G, not only would the girl onstage be furious, but I might have to kill myself just for being a moron.
waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.
Ahhh...an abvious Frank Zappa fan...which also dosent belong in a strip club.......well ok maybe alittle, but NO Broken Hearts Are For Assholes.....
I Would Never Belong To Any Club That Would Have Me As A Member - Groucho Marx





heh. ram it, ram it, ram it....(wristwatch....crisco!)
waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.





LolOriginally Posted by MrChristopher
I would kill myself long before the girls broke down the door to the dj booth,no way would i let them take me alive after a comment like that!

hahahaha the funny thing is the girls love it when he does that very odd. might i add he's not a very classy guy he is on of the 80's mohawk guys that looks like a troll and has beat a guy with a maglight for getting out of hand and got charged with assult and our fucking boss gave him a raise. thats a small iowa gentlemans club for ya a bunch of low class men looking for something more appealing than the pigs sheep and cows on the farm. God I cant wait to get out of there and into a bigger city. But I do have to admit there is one dj the club whos style is right up there with mine only he is more insane tonight he did the unthinkable he took a dead monday night and made it absoultly crazy by calling the local metal station got on air and told everyone to come down there and the first drink was on him and the first dollar dance was on him as well. When the people started packing in he went completly off the wall and everyone was pumped and going crazy thank god i wasnt working tonight although my tip out would have been fucking awsome i know that wasnt a one liner but what the hell it was great.



Put some money on these honeys!!!
the other night the DJ promoted the "Hurricane Katrina Party"...a couple of times!
what a douche....it's a benefit fundraiser, but it sounds like we're celebrating the hurricane





A strip club dj has to be topical.
Just like "are ya as hungry as Terry Shivo,see your bartender for appitizers"a few months ago,
ya got...
"tell me you would hit this as hard as Katrina hit Mississippi?"(talking about the next girl on stage)
Or...
"this next girl is going to get you wetter then a homeless person in New orleans"
Or...
"This next girl doesnt like DICK cheany,she likes BUSH,cause it doesnt come so fast,at least thats what alla "Black"guys say in Mississippi".(Im in richmond,the capital of the old south,i can get away with racial slurs,im not saying its right,its business.)
Or...
"this next girl makes me as wet as this years mardi gras"
or...
"they are going to toss beads this year at Mardi Gras,not for the size of your tits,but for the size of your manditory life preserver,this young lady wont be wearing one,due to the fact she comes with her own personal floatation devices,so show her some pity and toss cash instead of beads."(for gals with BA'S)
Or......
You can talk one of your 5%ers into wearing black electrical tape,in an X across her nipples, so it looks like a cross...
And the "donate to the "Black cross,not the red cross"jokes are endless.
A SC DJ aint PC
^^
Does reminding the customers of the reality of all the crap going on in the real world really work?
I tend to prefer Djs who keep to the alter-reality of the SC.
Feature costumes for sale!
"These girls are working for tips and tips only so tuck that buck.. don't be a cheap bastard."
and he has a little memo in his booth:
"Girls- DO NOT leave your drinks in the booth, or I will SHIT in them. Thanks, the DJ's. P.S. DO NOT TRY US!!"
![]()
Nightclub Entertaining...
from the outside you can't understand it, from the inside you can't explain it.
~Whitney
I just heard this one last nite and it cracked me up. He was like "You know I come to find out from chatting w/ these lovely ladies, ALL of them that work at our NAME OF CLUB are OFFICIALLY SINGLE!. It was funny cuz he was dead serious w his suave voice. I could just picture all the customers going "YEAH RIGHT!"
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