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Thread: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

  1. #1
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    Default too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    Hey, I want to do this, but I am really nervous. Heres why.

    1. I'm really really REALLY shy. It's hard for me to go up to people and talk. I talk alot with friends, but if I don't know someone, well or not, it's really hard for me to go up to them and talk. I guess in a way I fear rejectment, because the person can choose to go away and not talk bad, and I fear that.

    2. I don't have the best body. I am confident in it enough to be able to take pictures for my guy, and make love in the light, and I've danced for him, but with lots of various random eyes on me? That is a little scary. My figure is okay, but I have a lot of stretchmarks and scars on my butt and thighs, and I have small boobs.

    3. Normally I am a very causal girl, I never wear makeup or anything. In fact I don't remember the last time I wore makeup. So I'm nervous that I don't know how to put on makeup right. And also, I don't even own a pair of heels. The tallest heel I've worn EVER is an inch, so I don't know how I can walk in five inch heels.

    4. Also, I'm afraid because of the future. If I get a "normal" job afterwards, or do anything afterwards, would this be a "black hole" in my past? I'd like to do it - it seems like it pays well, but if it'll affect my future, it wouldn't be worth it. [As for future, I want to go to business school, work in a company, eventually having my own business hopefully]

    5. I guess I'm also scared of people I know coming in and seeing me.

    I'm 21 and I live in Austin, if you have any specific tips concerning those.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Jillian's Avatar
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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    Here's what I have to say based on my experiences.

    1. I am veyr very shy too. I was voted most bashful out of my senior class in high school. At the club, I don't know I just suck it up, it's not that bad. Being shy can either make you seem more innocent or more stuck up, so try to at very least remember to always smile and look friendly and approachable.

    2. If it's just stretch marks and things like that, everyone has 'em. I'm skinny and I got em on my butt! The lighting in the club should make them hard to see. I used to be really uncomfortable with my body too because I thought I was too skinny. I have small boobs as well, there are a lot of fakies at my current club, but there are also a lot of guys who like lil boobies too - which is where I come in.

    3. Practice with both the make up and heels - it will come! Maybe get someone to help you with make up, or if you have some $ you can go to a make up counter and have them help you. I don't like wearing make up and doing stuff when I'm not working - also it makes me less recognizable if anyone were to run intome on the street.

    Hey I've been at this for a while and I tripped 3 times over my heels last night, I only completly wiped out once, and I wiped out last week too - eek!

    4. Most clubs don't pay you so there really isn't much of a paper trail to way you down in the future. Gaps in resumes look bad, so maybe consider getting a job where you can work like 4 hours a week or something to avoid resume gaps.

    5. When I have run into ppl I know in the club the look of surprise is usually priceless. (see item 1) Because I am so shy, if someone from school comes in they usually just stare with their mouths wide open shocked. It's really quite funny. Other than guys from school I don't really see people I know at work. Once I saw the guy from the ATT wireless store, last year my roommate and I begged him for the cardboard ryan seacrest cut out they used for promotions so we kept giving him our numbers. Anyways, when I saw him he told me he still had our numbers and would be calling soon. He didn't, but it got me some money that night from him.


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  3. #3
    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    my take on this.......... you arent cut out to be a dancer... period. to much to overcome.

  4. #4
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    I think if you have that many trepedations you should rethink the reason you want to dance.

  5. #5
    Veteran Member Lovespell's Avatar
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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    I agree. To some people dancing comes naturally, to others it doesn't. It natural to be nervous your first few nights, but if your not confident it really shows. Guys don't like to see that up on stage. Attitude is your number one asset when it comes to dancing.

    I would say reconsider dancing. WHY do you want to dance?

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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    Why do you want to be a dancer?

    I only ask because I have some of the same issues. I would like to dance for a while, but haven't done it yet even though I was hired already. I am shy in some situations, but in others not at all. It's kind of weird. I think I am mostly afraid of really rude customers making me feel like crap. I am intimidated by other dancers in a way too because of some of the stuff I've read on here about how mean they can be sometimes. I've never had a lot of girl friends and I relate better to guys.

    I do think that if you are really, really shy in most social situations then dancing may be too difficult for you. But if you think it's something you can overcome then go for it. I think it's great to conquer your fears. That's one of the reasons I want to do this. Just getting up the courage to do it the first day will be the hardest thing. I'm still working on that.

    It seems like new dancers or wannabe dancers (like me) just need some encouragement and positive reinforcement before going out there on their own. If you really want to do it, then you'll find the courage. If you don't like it or if something bad happens, you certainly don't have to go back. I keep trying to tell myself that. Good luck!

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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    Because I enjoy dancing. I am really shy in front of new people and strangers, but I've danced for many guys I've been with. It's almost my way of flirting, by giving them dances, and I love dancing and I love the attention I get when I dance for them. I love going to clubs and dancing, I just love moving and I've been told I dance well, so I figure if it gives me extra money doing something I love to do, it'll work.

    The only things I worry about is the fact I can't walk in heels, and I'm shy in front of STRANGERS.

    But besides that, I need a nudge because I really do enjoy dancing. I LOVE seeing the looks on their faces when I tease them with my dancing. I just love the feeling when I dance. I'm just too scared to get up on there.

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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    dance clubs I mean. I've danced at dance clubs. I love dancing at night clubs.

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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    Pretty much just shy in front of strangers, heels, and my future - mostly what I worry about

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    Stripping has precious little to do with dancing. You live in my city, all of your income will come from conversing with strange ugly men long enough to let them give you the pleasure of grinding on their dicks and trying to grope your boobies and butt.

    Check out a club, you'll see what I mean. You are welcome to come to my club up north. I can show you around and you can decide for yourself. PM me if you would like to come out there and learn a little about the industry.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    Senior Member amber88's Avatar
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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    I am a firm believer that dancing can bring out the sexy-talkative side in a girl. I think you should face your fears and just set the date and go in the club. I had huge fears..all in my head before I was going to audition. I kept moving my audition date from one week to the next...finally I faced my fears. I tell you as soon as I was in the actual club...my fears totally went away...it was all the nervous anticpation that built up inside of me...and this thought that you're going to be totally judged or that every single eye in the room will be focused on you. There are chicks walking around every where and before you know it you will want every eye on you when you're on stage.

    Just go for it. Be firm with your date. The only one holding you back is yourself. Not your past, not anything. Just get up there and shake it. I bet it will be like an out of body expiernece for you. You may discover this totally different side of you that has been hiding all along...and it did for me...my self confidence went way up after I started dancing. And its not really about being complimented by guys all the time...its your own self empowerment that you have the guts to go out there and get naked and feel confident with yourself!

    Good luck!

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    Veteran Member NekkoStarz's Avatar
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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    I think that if you have a particular problem with STRANGERS, you shouldn't do this. Cos every night you're basically just looking into an endless supply of strangers. Course with the occasional customer that is a regular.

    And dancing in a night club is very different from a strip club, or so I believe...

    Any how, get some confidence & you should be alright. Cos the shoe & makeup thing isn't really a difficult thing to over come. I'm a good example of this... I NEVER wore heels cept for when I started dancing. Just buy them & walk around your house in them... Also, I particularly wasn't into makeup ~ before dancing... If you have a problem with doing makeup - just go to a counter at a department store.

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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    I dont think youre ready right now there are a few things you have to work out before you start. OTOH...you never know how youre going to react to the environment? Go try out somewhere and see if you like it.
    This is some stuff I didnt know before I started:
    *You will get asked your number a million times a night; you have to keep control of the convo and try to get a dance or theres not money for your 15 min of time you just wasted.
    *Guys will want to take you home or hotel;once again direct the conversation in your favor; a dance
    *You will not be everyones favorite. Dont take rejection personal. For every few No's there will be a few Yes's.
    *Be nice to yourself during the shift; eat something and have a schedule a break for yourself. You can take this time to relax and breathe or collect yourself.
    *Eat good food at work...your body will thank you

    Good luck wtvr you decide.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  14. #14
    Senior Member quaid's Avatar
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    Default Re: too nervous and scared - help settle my fears

    tigersmilk is definitely right about getting asked for your number 9 MILLION times a night, also if you're interested in going home/to a hotel, and about 81 TRILLION drink offers, not to mention all of the "wanna go outside and smoke a joint" offers. argh men are dumb lol.

    anyways, that's something you need to be prepared for.

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