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    Default newbie doubts

    So i've worked twice thus far, but I'm still not sure if I'm cut out for this kind of work. I adore being on stage and talking to guys, that's not a problem. I'm just still uncomfortable asking for dances and then giving them. I know I could be better as asking for private dances once I get into the swing of things, but actually giving the dances just creeps me out. An entire song is a long time to rub up against a guy who makes you sick to your stomach. And it's not that the men are smelly or unattractive, it's not that sort of turnoff. It's just the idea that I have to touch someone I don't know or like for that long of a time. Maybe I'll relax as I work more, but for now, I just don't know if I can do it.
    Did anyone else experience this or are you still feeling this way? Will my nerves calm or am I always going to detest the men that buy dances from me? Does that mean I'm not supposed to be a dancer?

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    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: newbie doubts

    Are there any places in your area that are low contact? I think it would be hard to start working in such a high contact club right off the bat. I fortunatly work in a low contact enviroment which I am grateful for. Maybe you could find something else that isn't to far away? Just a suggestion maybe some of the other girls that work in a similar enviroment can help you better. Either way I hope everything works out well for you and you do what is best for you.
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    Default Re: newbie doubts

    I felt this way when I 1st started b/c its not something you do everyday. Honestly, why is it that you dont like giving dances? None of us loves giving dances...but its part of the job and its how we make most of our money. How long have you been dancing if I may ask? For the 1st few weeks it was odd for me too.

    OTOH hand if you cant handle asking or giving a dance maybe youre not cut out to work in this business? Im not trying to be mean either. If you want to overcome this...read some books ..ya know sales books and communicating books. There are ways of communicating w/o saying a word! Its great. Im reading "how to make ppl like you in 90 seconds or less" by Nicholas Boothman and about 1/2 way through now. Its a great book and under $15 bucks too. If you want to make this work for you ...you have to put some extra effort into this. For some ppl hustling and dancing for guys is natural...others have to work at it.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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  4. #4
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: newbie doubts

    Ive been at this 5 years and my dances are so robotic now... its like a routine and I dont even pay attention to what Im doing... I think its rare when I girl just LOVES giving lapdances... took me a good while to figure out a way to give a LD that I feel comfortable with. It'll take time...

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    Default Re: newbie doubts

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    OTOH hand if you cant handle asking or giving a dance maybe youre not cut out to work in this business? Im not trying to be mean either. If you want to overcome this...read some books ..ya know sales books and communicating books. There are ways of communicating w/o saying a word! Its great. Im reading "how to make ppl like you in 90 seconds or less" by Nicholas Boothman and about 1/2 way through now. Its a great book and under $15 bucks too. If you want to make this work for you ...you have to put some extra effort into this. For some ppl hustling and dancing for guys is natural...others have to work at it.
    Excellent advice Tiger! I found an interest in this title that you mentioned myself. So below I've included a link for anyone else who was interested. This author has this book in paper/hardback/audio. So depending on your flexibility you will find the one for you!

    http://half.ebay.com/search/search.j...holas+Boothman+







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Default Re: newbie doubts

    ^^ hehe of course its from ebay!! LOL
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: newbie doubts

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    ^^ hehe of course its from ebay!! LOL
    LOL, you know it~ The cheaper the better IMO lol. Hey Tiger PM me, when you get a chance!







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Default Re: newbie doubts

    Quote Originally Posted by angrychick420
    So i've worked twice thus far, but I'm still not sure if I'm cut out for this kind of work. I adore being on stage and talking to guys, that's not a problem. I'm just still uncomfortable asking for dances and then giving them. I know I could be better as asking for private dances once I get into the swing of things, but actually giving the dances just creeps me out. An entire song is a long time to rub up against a guy who makes you sick to your stomach. And it's not that the men are smelly or unattractive, it's not that sort of turnoff. It's just the idea that I have to touch someone I don't know or like for that long of a time. Maybe I'll relax as I work more, but for now, I just don't know if I can do it.
    Did anyone else experience this or are you still feeling this way? Will my nerves calm or am I always going to detest the men that buy dances from me? Does that mean I'm not supposed to be a dancer?
    The famed male perspective.

    I think you've got to learn to fake it, or find a lower contact club. Men come into strip venues to fulfil a fantasy, and the reality - that the dancer finds him distinctly unattractive - ain't a good selling point. We all like to think that the dancer likes us, (even if in our heart of hearts we know the dancer doesn't fancy us).

    Unfortunately, body language is difficult to disguise, and if doing a private dance "creeps you out", you'll end up with an uncomfortable customer. He might not understand why - he'll just know the dancer dislikes him. Happened once or twice to me, and you just make a mental note to avoid that dancer in the future. Unfortunately, if the guy's come in a group, then the word tends to spread, and it's not just one guy avoiding you, it's ten.

    I know a few dancers as OTC friends, and sometimes this sort of thing comes up in conversation. Most don't find the prospect of rubbing up against a fat, balding, crude mouthed 60 year old too attractive either.

    Basically, they adopt a work persona, and it's their dancer alter-ego that does the dance. The persona comes from a stage name, different "work" make up to usual make up, costumes and even a different manner. Basically, they rationalise things by saying that they behave in one way at work, and in a totally different way outside the venue - or to put it another way they switch off their real personality; the robotic dance mentioned by AudreyLeigh. Perhaps things will improve when you refine your persona?

    If you don't like the physical contact, are you comfortable caressing yourself? Can you dance close, play with your nipples and mutter the standard lines about getting horny because he's watching you playing with yourself? It's not contact, but at least you are offering an alternative illusion that you are getting a "kick" out of it.

    Not the best of advice - not least because I'll never have the same experiences as the dancer does - but the best I can do.

    Phil.

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    Veteran Member playboycntrfold's Avatar
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    Default Re: newbie doubts

    Quote Originally Posted by angrychick420
    Did anyone else experience this?

    Here's a better question...

    Did anyone NOT experience this?

    Don't worry sweetheart, you're definately not alone. In fact I have a couple of friends who are going thru that very dilemma as we speak. There is really no easy way to get over it other then just doing it. After about a month I was able to totally and completely turn off those feelings. Something that is helping out my friends is doing dances for our other friends. For me, it's harder to dance for people that I know, as oppose to a stranger. Even now.


    Anyway, it'll get easier if you stick with it. Soon, you won't think about the guy your dancing for anymore.... just his money.

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    Default Re: newbie doubts

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W
    The famed male perspective.

    adopt a work persona...and it's the dancer alter-ego that does the dance. The persona comes from a stage name, different "work" make up to usual make up, costumes and even a different manner. . .

    switch off the real personality; hence the robotic dance mentioned by AudreyLeigh.

    Perhaps things will improve when you refine your persona?

    If you don't like the physical contact, are you comfortable caressing yourself? Can you dance close, play with your nipples and mutter the standard lines about getting horny because he's watching you playing with yourself? It's not contact, but at least you are offering an alternative illusion that you are getting a "kick" out of it.


    Actually that's pretty dead on, for me at least. I'm not entirely different outside the club, but there are definite contrasts to the real me and "GIA"


    Good advise too. Everyone has a style or "niche" in the club that they fit into. It takes a little time, and some experimentation, but you'll find it. Before you know it you'll develop a routine.

    It's just like the metaphor that I used to describe dancing to my friend.

    "It's like learning to play the guitar, once you learn the few basic chords, you can play a hundred different songs!"

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