Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: The OTHER woman

  1. #1
    Featured Member Meea's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Posts
    872
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 12 Times in 8 Posts

    Default The OTHER woman

    So I have this friend who used to be a customer. He's a great guy and he takes care of financially so i don't have to work anymore. I am really thankful for this. I am using the money he gives me to go to school and enrich my future. After the other thread I posted here (Life after stripping) I realized that even though I may not be as competently "certified" and "educated" as some other women, I know there are still options for me. So I am turning my life around thatnx to all your wonderful ladies' advice!

    So this guy is one of those "I'd rather give you MY money so you don't have to strip" and I'm not his only "dependant". He has another girl he takes care of. I've met her and let me tell you. This girl is older than me, but her head is only half-way there. She's wasting her life away with useless people who take advantage of her. She comes in to the bars me and my guy hang out at so that he can give her some cash so that she can take her friends out. She drives his car, lives in a house he owns, and takes care of her child. I know it's gotta be hard to be a young mother, and I'm sympathetic to her cause.

    What really bothers me is that she doesn't realize what she's doing with her life. I know it's not my place to judge, and I'm not. My problem is that she "abuses' her priviledges with this man. She calls him when she needs something, whenther it's money or a shoulder to cry on, on someone to bitch to.

    I know that's what real friends are for, but come on. Every time they get together he calls me afterward and transfers all that complaining and bitchiness to me. I don't care if he loves her or what not, I just don't want to hear about her. I can't believe that he just takes it. I'm a greatful to him for what he does for me AND on her behalf, as well. But he doesn't have the heart to pressure her to smarten up.

    I've tried to bring it up with him, but he got defensive basically saying in polite words that he doesn't need my opinion on the situations they face together. I know, I shouldn't get involved. But I don't wannt to hear this shit about her problems. I wish I was a closer friend to her so that I can have some infuence, but we don't get along.

    I don't know what kind of a responce I'm looking for here, I guess I just needed to vent (as politely as possible) about how frustrating and emotionally draining it is to hear about someone else's shit. I got off MY lazy ass and stopped complaining. Why can't she?

  2. #2
    Glamazon
    Guest

    Default Re: The OTHER woman

    Be firm with him. Let him know that her problems are not your concern and that, quite frankly, it puts you in emotional distress each time he dumps her whining on you. She obviously does not appreciate his kindness, or maybe she just has nobody else to turn to. Sit back, relax, and be happy with the fact that you are taking what he is giving using it to make something of yourself. You may not get along with her, but she may see the example you set and apply your habits to her own life. Good luck.

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Nina's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    591
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: The OTHER woman

    Apparently one of the reasons this guy "keeps" you is for emotional release. The quickest way to get fired would be to tell your employer you don't like and no longer wish to do your job. Maybe a way to decrease his stress while not putting your mental sanity, his desire for you and her dependence on him at risk is to engage him in relaxing // or distracting activities......
    He wants to bitch and whine about Suzy Q..Tell him you'd love to meet him at the local park or nature reserve for a hike while you LISTEN.....He just had an argument with her and he's crushed..... THis might be a perfect time to go check out that new museum exhibit, or play minature golf or for you to read him a book.....You can't say anything against this other woman--- you are there to support him. You can subtly encourage him to see that their relationship may not be healthy or that she could be doing better... But it isn't your place to tell him.

    From someone who's been there and back, studied it and wrote a few articles about it.
    Sexy, Swarovski Stripper jewelry, OOAK, and DIY clothing


    "Acceptance is right. Kindness is right. Love is right. I pray, right now, that we're moving into a kinder time when prejudice is overcome by understanding; when narrow-mindedness, and narrow-minded bigotry is overwhelmed by open-hearted empathy; when the pain of judgmentalism is replaced by the purity of love"
    Janet Jackson

  4. #4
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    13,855
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: The OTHER woman

    If he's taking care of you, then there is a certain level of crap you must put up with. Just tune him out when he bitches about her, offering encouraging words every few minutes.......

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  5. #5
    aussiepunkshocker
    Guest

    Default Re: The OTHER woman

    I agree, it sounds like the crap that goes with the priviledge of him looking after you. Though perhaps you could suggest to him that if the situation with here is going to stay the same then he's only allowed to vent to you for a total of 5 minutes at a time or whatever... than he has to change subjects and say something fun and possitive and happy! I personally can't stand people who continute to cast a black cloud over everyone around them!!!

  6. #6
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    Tampa
    Posts
    4,035
    Thanks
    278
    Thanked 586 Times in 346 Posts

    Default Re: The OTHER woman

    maybe you could have her whacked...

    just kidding. Like others have said, if he's keeping you, you gotta put up with some stuff you don't like. How much you're willing to put up with depends on how badly you want his money.

Similar Threads

  1. How to be a Woman
    By Mastridonicus in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 01-23-2006, 10:29 AM
  2. How to Please a woman
    By lethalsoul in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 12-06-2005, 09:19 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •