"Hun," "Baby," "Darlin'" and other endearing terms

[Chicagoeditor]

When a dancer I've just met uses words like "hon," "honey," "baby" and so on, it instantly kills the mood for me. All these terms signal to me the dancer is on autopilot. "Hon," in particular, is a word I associate with middle aged, chain-smoking waitresses.

For me, these words underscore a false, fake intimacy---yes, I realize the whole point of a LD is false, fake intimacy--but hearing these words breaks the illusion for me. Anyone else?

[Hef]

I don't pay it much attention when they use it on me. I kinda expect it. I don't use them much myself, as I reserve them for a certain woman only.

[onlythebest]

I don't like using those terms.I talk to all my customers straight.

[Amethyst]

I'm a Southern gal, so terms like "Hun" and "Darlin'" come very naturally to me. If I don't use them on someone, it's because I DON'T like them and I'm actively preventing myself from calling them something endearing. Guys - esp. Northern USA & European guys - love it.

[Crow]

As stated above , down south those terms are used often - I prefer "sweetie" or " sugar". Here that is the norm.

Then again I do not like being called 'babe", that makes me think of the car salesman, plaid jacketed, open to the navel shirt kind of guy that pop's his gum while pointing a finger at you, of course while hes rolling that toothpick around in his teeth.

Miss R

[Heaven777]

well, sometimes I say those because it's nicer than saying "umm...what was your name again?" in the middle of a dance or whatever. Plus I think using something like that denotes a connection with a person. It feels closer to me, but not too intimate.

[holiday]

I go with Cowboy, Big Boy, Big Daddy and Tiger

[rawkergirl]

I don't mind it when a dancer says any of those terms to me. It sounds nice, but it's not a marriage proposal! So, whatevah! However, unless it's a dancer with whom I've become familiar (we exchange our "Hey, what's up girl? How've you been?" for instance), I restrain from saying "sweetie." I strongly believe, in a perfect world, it is the dancer or even a waitress that should set the boundaries of the relationship.

It's funny-- I was born in NY, but I have lived in Texas for years. At first it was strange hearing anyone call me "sweetie," but after a while I got used to it. "Sweetie" or "baby" in a southern drawl is sexy to my ears. Hopefully, I never do anything to cause one to say "Kiss my grits!" lol

[wheelchair customer]

"Thank you Baby" or "Thank you Sweetie" I love to whisper that in my girl's ear. At our club, the ladies can get very close when you are at stageside, LDs too, of course. If you're lucky, your ear or neck might get a nibble or two! Mmmm to smell their perfume and feel their hair wisp across my face! "Thank you Baby!" I melt like chocolate when my ATF, in her low, sexy voice whispers back: "You're welcome Baby"

[wheelchair customer]

Hi CBB!

[Lolita86]

I'm very bad with remembering customers names. It's really horrible. They tell me their name, and I forget it 3 seconds later. It's my worst fault. So I call them all 'sweetie' 'hon' or 'honey'. I wish I could remember their names, though.

[CuriousJ]

As long as they are engaging me in a conversation or sweet nothings Its all good to me , now if they start talking to someone else then we have a problem .

[Susan Wayward]

I have found that people in the Midwest, more than anywhere in the U.S., are standoffish and suspicious of strangers. In the south calling someone "honey" is equivalent to "guy."

ChiEd, no disrespect, but midwesterners are the only people I know, who when asked by a bartender if he can buy them a drink, will respond with "Why?"

[Mr Hyde]

It's better than "custy."

[CalifSCVisitor65]

I don't care what they call me really. My ATF calls me "Dude". LOL

In fact last night a dancer didn't remember my name and asked again during the middle of a dance.

[madmaxine]

LOL! I've started addressing everyone- family, friends, strangers- as "hon" "dear" "sweetie" etc. because my temper's fried- compensating for short fuse.

I think it sounds nice- and I get suspicious of anyone using my given name too fast. I thought formality/ distance was complimentary.

[Casual Observer]

Yeah, that stuff always seems to come across to me as needless SS, even from Southern girls.

[gypsy_girlchild]

I use everything listed including "dude". I don't tihnk it's fake, it's just how I speak to everyone and not just customers. I've always thought of it of a way of letting a custoemr know that you remember them from before, even if you don't know their name.

[Gendai73]

I love it when I dancer remember my name next time I come in. I reward them by get atleast one extra dance for having a good memory

[SportsWriter2]

I love it when I dancer remember my name next time I come in.

I once chatted up a beautiful dancer briefly in passing, then didn't see her again for eight months. The next time I saw her, she greeted me by name and chatted like a old friend. One dance later she became my ATF. I was just blown away.

[Malibu]

I use some of those terms. It's not as if I honestly see that person as my ''babe'', or ''darling'' and they're not silly enough (well, I hope not) to think so. It's just playful. Although lately, I do prefer the terms ''Buster'' and ''Pervert'', which get a smile or two

[whirlerz]

Gee babes, sorry to hear it, hun. Middle-age waitress? And, you're how old yourself? mmm

[Chicagoeditor]

Touche, Whirlz! Actually, I'm at the age when I could call a young dancer "baby," since I'd be old enough to be her dad. Of course, I'd never do that--just isn't my style and I'm not attracted to women who are that much younger than me. (Although I have, in the past, made a terrific mentor for women that age.)

[Prester_John]

I dont mind being called "Hun". It indicates that the dancer thinks I am a hairy barbarian who is about to rampage through Europe.

I hate being called a Mongol, though, THATS a mood killer, fer shure.

[doc-catfish]

When a dancer I've just met uses words like "hon," "honey," "baby" and so on, it instantly kills the mood for me. All these terms signal to me the dancer is on autopilot. "Hon," in particular, is a word I associate with middle aged, chain-smoking waitresses.

For me, these words underscore a false, fake intimacy---yes, I realize the whole point of a LD is false, fake intimacy--but hearing these words breaks the illusion for me. Anyone else?

Hmm, I don't see CE visiting a Waffle House franchise anytime soon.

No. I've never minded being referred to by "hun" "baby" etc. To be honest, I think its flattering when a dancer (or even a waitress) says such things (and I usually say them right back). Its a gesture that my patronage is welcome there.

No wonder I enjoyed my trip to Texas so much. I guess it wasn't so much the contact or the eye candy as it was the charm.