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Thread: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

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    Default Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    the 1st answer that would likely come to your mind is that I'm the handsy, smelly, etc, etc, etc jerk that they want to avoid. that's not the answer. Two women, same basic situation - got dances in the beginning, now they give me affection, but not dances.

    1st dancer-

    She sometimes comes by and gives me hugs from behind and then flitters away before I can get her to sit with me. I sometimes catch her looking at me as she walks by.

    2nd dancer-

    sometimes I can get a single dance from her, but then she'll say 'that's enough for now' and leaves the table. I know she like the dances: she'll tell me that she loves the way I touch her, the excitement in her eyes, her little moans, and the most telling reason - she got really turned on a couple of times and I could smell her scent (hope that wasn't too much information, but I wanted to be clear about this).

    some more info:

    The 1st dancer and I had a couple of great conversations, before she pulled away. The 2nd dancer and I have very little in common and have never chatted much. I don't think the 1st dancer goes out on 'dates' with patrons; the 2nd one will, but sparingly (learned this from the strip club junkies). The two dancers work at the same club, but different shifts. I have never run into them both at the same time. Both are early 20's & quite popular at the club.

    me - average looks, 33, slim, single, no kids. somewhere between 'casual' & strip club junkie. Have been complemented often on 'great hands' and 'best massage ever.' dancers often say they feel calm around me & could fall asleep in my arms.

    I could see how the 1st dancer might like me, but not the 2nd. But they both are pretty much acting the same way towards me. I don't get it. Why are they walking away from the money?

    -thanks



    Moderator note: This started in StripClubJunkie ("Blue"). Moved here at request of thread originator.
    Last edited by Jay Zeno; 05-09-2005 at 03:15 PM.

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jatson
    the 1st answer that would likely come to your mind is that I'm the handsy, smelly, etc, etc, etc jerk that they want to avoid.
    oh no...you seem like a really nice guy.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jatson
    I know she like the dances: she'll tell me that she loves the way I touch her, the excitement in her eyes, her little moans, and the most telling reason - she got really turned on a couple of times and I could smell her scent (hope that wasn't too much information, but I wanted to be clear about this).
    she must really like you...or that odor emanating from her crotch is from the Massengill Douche with new stripper shit scent. next time, use your finger to make sure that she's really turned on.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jatson
    Have been complemented often on 'great hands' and 'best massage ever.' dancers often say they feel calm around me & could fall asleep in my arms.
    oh, that's nothing. i'm often complimented by strippers on the size of my large penis. contrary to my ex-wives opinion. i never knew that 3 inches of semi-erect blue steel combined with a complete lack of stamina could give a woman so much pleasure until i met strippers.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jatson
    I could see how the 1st dancer might like me, but not the 2nd. But they both are pretty much acting the same way towards me. I don't get it. Why are they walking away from the money?
    it's simple. if a stripper refuses to take your money. it means that she really likes you. so, you should ask them both out on a date. hell, if you play your cards right. i see a threesome in the making.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jatson
    -thanks
    oh, don't thank us just yet. you should really post this question upstairs. the strippers will be more than happy to answer your question.
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jatson
    Two women, same basic situation - got dances in the beginning, now they give me affection, but not dances.

    I don't get it. Why are they walking away from the money?
    The bottom line is it could be any number of reasons but, assuming you really are acting like a gentleman, it doesn't matter and it's not worth taking your time trying to figure out. If any other employee waiting on you failed to give customer service promptly, you'd find one who did. You're the customer, so exercise your options. Move on and shop around. Find a dancer who will interact with you in a way that makes you satisfied with what you're paying for. Now if everyone starts declining, then there's something else unstated that's going on, but don't cross that bridge until you come to it.

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk
    oh, don't thank us just yet. you should really post this question upstairs. the strippers will be more than happy to answer your question.
    Sheeshus. Did someone get out of bed on the wrong side? Or not get his quota of silent LDs to completion? Feel better now? I'm almost hoping it's a troll so both of us look just as gullible and he can have the last laugh.

    -Ev

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by evan_essence
    I'm almost hoping it's a troll so both of us look just as gullible and he can have the last laugh.
    so, you think he isn't a troll? affection, but no more dances? gimme a break. how many customers do you absolutely refuse to dance for because you feel so affectionate towards them? i can't believe you're taking this guy seriously.
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    If it puzzles you so much, why don't you try asking them....
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    A dancer that passes on money? Somehow I think the question really is, could it be love???

    On rare occasion (like you know, when there is a total eclipse of the sun) I've known dancers to pass on money and throw in some bonus free time. Ahh stop there man. It's not what you think. No that doesn't mean she likes you. It's like taking a client out for lunch and picking up the tab. Just good business. Or it could be business is slow anyway and she figures she can turn you into one of her ATF bitch boys. "Wow, a free dance, she must really like me!!!" Sucker.

    I have known a dancer to decline to dance for a regular customer. Why? Usually it's because one of her other ATF bitch boys is in the club and he spends more.

    But the usual reasons why a dancer will refuse money? Usually it's because the customer stinks, or they can't keep their hands to themselves.

    How fucking stupid are some guys? Very. Some come into a club stinking and are entirely oblivious to how badly they reek. Hell, I don't want to sit near some of them in the clubs. They smell that bad. Besides the fact that the stink makes the dancers feel sick, they don't want your stink on them. It's really bad for business when the stink sticks to their skin and clothes. I guarantee you if these dancers stunk you wouldn't want to be near them either. And don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with making money. Don't we all want to make money? Of course we do. We all work and it's not for fun. It's for money. Go money!

    The other reason? Guys who repeatedly violate the dancer's right to say no. Guys can be such complete and utter dumb fucks when it comes to this. If you don't instinctively know what parts of her body are off limits to you then keep your big ass hands to yourself. As much as they want to go home with your $$s, many have limits and value going home with their sense of self respect more. And can you blaim them? If I was a younger hot girl I wouldn't want me touch me (?confused?) either.

    I say most because somewhere out there is a dancer that will let you grab anything you want. Oh, she may not be the best looking, or she may charge extra for it, but you can find it if that's your thing. The really hot ones though usually have plenty of business and don't completely sell out (unless of course you're a real good looking rich or famous dude why then it's like getting paid for sex!!! )

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk
    oh no...you seem like a really nice guy.
    she must really like you...or that odor emanating from her crotch is from the Massengill Douche with new stripper shit scent. next time, use your finger to make sure that she's really turned on.


    I'm heading to Walgreens right now to pick it up!!

    For the dude in trouble, I know EXACTLY why they are avoiding you. You are fucking needy, I can just feel it. For the amount of headache you heap upon these girls the 1-3 dances you get from them aren't worth their time when they can hang out with the dealer instead for no BS and free bumps.

    I could be wrong though. Need more information:

    1. How long do you chat them up before agreeing to a dance?

    2. How many dances do you buy in a row?

    3. Do you like to keep them sitting around talking to you while you "massage" them and blabber to them without paying for time?

    ........there are plenty of customers with money I avoid because its not fair to the other customers when I am pissed off and in a bad mood from one needy fuck............

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    You are fucking needy, I can just feel it.
    Kat knows. I can sense needy dancers, and I handle them the way these dancers handle you. Unless she's gorgeous, in school and a secret freak. Then I make exceptions.

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    You are fucking needy, I can just feel it.
    Kat, have you considered becoming a therapist? You have a way of cutting through B.S. that's just breathtaking.

    Buying 6-dances in a row from Kat while I talk to her about her psychology curriculum.

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsWriter2
    Kat knows. I can sense needy dancers, and I handle them the way these dancers handle you. Unless she's gorgeous, in school and a secret freak. Then I make exceptions.
    You know it's funny that you say that. MY sense of needy dancers was nowhere to be seen a couple of years ago when I started hitting SCs. I'm sure you remember my well documented escapades with Ms. L...

    Well, I have noticed that since then my choice of in club acquaintances has become progressively more selective. Ms. J isn't half as needy as Ms. L once was and, although she has hinted in my presence at times when she was "allegedly" having money problems, she has never directly asked me for anything. Well, you would have to excuse that request for a towel that night in the truck.

    Ms. M is totally on the opposite end of the spectrum from Ms. L. Ms M has a day job, is virtually drama free, and just wins me over with her ability to look & act so very innocent.

    Therefore, I believe my sense for needy dancers has become well honed. Place Kat into the equation and everything goes out the window. All bets are off then.


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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicagoeditor
    Kat, have you considered becoming a therapist? You have a way of cutting through B.S. that's just breathtaking.

    Buying 6-dances in a row from Kat while I talk to her about her psychology curriculum.
    Eh, stripping for 7 years + was enough therapist time for me....bye bye bitches!!!
    Last edited by Jay Zeno; 05-09-2005 at 03:16 PM.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine

    I know EXACTLY why they are avoiding you. You are fucking needy, I can just feel it. For the amount of headache you heap upon these girls..

    ........there are plenty of customers with money I avoid because its not fair to the other customers when I am pissed off and in a bad mood from one needy fuck............
    A breath of fresh air in here. And now you get to see how they really feel, which is a hell of a lot better then the BS responses.

    Oh sure, to your face the dancers will be nice, maybe even nurturing (like mommy did when we were little boys). And their boss tells them they have to be nice to the customers, but here is what mommy didn't tell you:

    Most women, probably more so hot women, despise needy men. I don't mean they feel sorry for you, or it doesn't turn them on. I mean, the whole "I'm a sad loser fuck who needs you to make me feel happy" thing strikes a chord with them that makes them want to run (RUN) as far away as they can from you. And who really wants that kind of guilt trip layed on them anway? "I'm a sad, I need you to make me happy" Fuck that. That's your job. They don't want responsibility for you, at least not for a few bucks anyway

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    M punk –

    Thanks, (“I can’t believe you’re taking this guy seriously”), I think LOL. No offense to anyone here, but this message was intended for the dancers & I’ve already requested that it be moved ‘upstairs.’

    Evan –

    It is worth my time b/c –

    The 2nd dancer (let’s call her Ann) has exactly my preferred body physique and a beautiful face to boot. The 1st dancer (Marie) really intrigues me. On my first encounter with her, we had a great conversation, followed by a playful/intense wrestling match (she was wearing a choker that night / I was surprised that the managers didn’t come by and ask us to cool it down), followed by a string of really intense, intimate dances. Then the lights came on & she left. Almost a year passed before I could get another dance session with her.

    Yoda –

    I did ask them. Ann just kind of ignores the question. Marie gave me a two-stage – she avoided me after our first encounter. I eventually cornered her – she replied that she was dating the DJ, “he had to watch us that night,” and that it wouldn’t be right to give me anymore dances. Being a cad, I’d often go tip her on 2nd or 3rd stage. That was the extent of our contact for about a year (the hugs/glances came later).

    Then I noticed her spending more time in VIP and decided to offer her $ just to chat with me. She agreed. I was temporarily flabbergasted, but soon learned that she had just broken up with the DJ. She vented a bit, stating that he had a long list of guys she couldn’t dance for. I had another dance session with her about 3 months later & it’s only been hugs/stares since then.

    Xdamage –

    Stinky/handsy – I don’t have a problem getting dances from anyone else, so I doubt I’m that stinky. Ann has a ‘no breast’ rule, which I respect & I don’t like to touch anyone’s genitalia in the club (not even those hunky bathroom attendants

    Katrine –

    This is only an issue with two dancers; I have no trouble getting dances from anyone else.

    1. How long do you chat them up before agreeing to a dance?

    I doubt that’s the issue. There were only 3 dance sessions with Marie. First – about 45 minutes, second – I was paying for her time (and spent $500 on her over the course of about 3 hours for time & dances ), third was about 30 minutes. Ann & I don’t really talk, so I take her straight to the dance, unless she hits me up for a massage.

    2. How many dances do you buy in a row?

    I prefer to get all of the dances at the same time - usually about 4 to 8 songs (if I can get that many)

    3. Do you like to keep them sitting around talking to you while you "massage" them and blabber to them without paying for time?

    Marie – 1st encounter – no massage (didn’t give them back then), 2nd encounter – I kept my hands to myself (because it was a chat only session), then learned that dances were ok again & then went straight to dances, 3rd encounter – probably 10 minute massage. I doubt I blabbered much during that time – I don’t usually talk much when giving massages.

    Ann always asks for the massage. If we talk at all during the massage, it’s very light chat. Then after about 10 minutes, I’ll get a dance and then she pulls away.

    I doubt the massages are the issue with Ann. She once said that she’s tried to teach some of her other patrons to massage like I do (pinpoint pressure), but that no one has been able to do it like I can. I’ve had waitresses & doorgirls ask for massages & then tip me for them – I really doubt that’s the issue.

    Edit:

    There is some weird history with Ann as well: Until a divorce, she was sister-in-laws with another dancer (call her Linda) at the same club/same shift. I initially got dances from both Linda and Ann, then became Linda's regular & Ann stopped dancing for me for a time. I had to corner her as well - Ann said Linda would bitch at her if she danced for me & since she had to deal with Linda all the time, she wasn't going to dance for me. This problem continued even after I stopped being Linda's regular. Eventually there was divorce and Linda moved on to another club. That's when Ann started dancing for me, but only one dance per session.

    Eventually Linda came back and Ann offered her phone number to me unsolicited. I called her a few times, but never got anything more than the "hey, I'm busy, I'll call you back" routine. Within a few weeks, Linda left for another club (again). It seems the only reason I got Ann's # was because of their rivalry. But nothing came of it.

    After 3 "I'll call you backs," I deleted her #. I never really made much of an issue about it when I saw her in the club. Now that Linda is gone, we are back to our 1-dance routine.

    [And, for what's it worth, I haven't been anyone's regular since Linda -- so that shouldn't be the reason either.]

    -thanks
    Last edited by Jatson; 05-09-2005 at 03:14 PM.

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    I don't know man. Way too much ins and outs for me. I got to tell you I'm always real suspicious of the interpretation of guys whose lives are wrapped up in "the club"* Once your at the point where you are exchanging numbers with them, you know all kinds of shit about their personal lives, you are trying to figure out their deeper motives, you know about their divorces, the waitresses know your name, well... it's too weird for me. I keep RL extremely separated from the club* I don't know, and I don't want to know anything about the dancers f'ed up lives outside of the club.

    To me the club is like, well I feel like a kid in a candy store. Call me Mr. Sweettooth Except I'm a big kid now. Instead of running around sampling the different flavors of gummi bears, gourmet jelly beans, and fine chocolate, I run around and sample the different flavors of beautiful women for a few hours. Beautiful women, one of the few things in life that doesn't suck

    But once I'm done with my candy for the night I get the fuck out of the club* and leave it behind. Quite honestly I assume that pretty much everything I'm told from dancers in the club has been twisted in some way for my benefit. Oh you tricksy candy! You're so addicting.

    * Hey so why do they call them clubs? It's not like you need a special, private membership to get in.

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jatson

    It is worth my time b/c –

    The 2nd dancer (let’s call her Ann) has exactly my preferred body physique and a beautiful face to boot. The 1st dancer (Marie) really intrigues me. On my first encounter with her, we had a great conversation, followed by a playful/intense wrestling match (she was wearing a choker that night / I was surprised that the managers didn’t come by and ask us to cool it down), followed by a string of really intense, intimate dances. Then the lights came on & she left. Almost a year passed before I could get another dance session with her.....I did ask them. Ann just kind of ignores the question. Marie gave me a two-stage – she avoided me after our first encounter. I eventually cornered her – she replied that she was dating the DJ, “he had to watch us that night,” and that it wouldn’t be right to give me anymore dances. Being a cad, I’d often go tip her on 2nd or 3rd stage. That was the extent of our contact for about a year (the hugs/glances came later)....
    Reduced to its most simplistic, these dancers are working. To work they conform to steroetype - i.e. become a male fantasy figure. Their real personalities are most likely very different from what they project in the strip club.

    While working they do what it takes, (within their personal limits), to earn money. You might enjoy "playful/intense wrestling matches" - the odds are considerably lower that the dancers do.

    Very much doubt that they like the massages much either. Most dancers spend their working life fending off the male of the species - you and a hundred other guys want to touch/wrestle/massage. It's the eternal conflict between the need to earn money and the dancer's personal limits. They accept a degree of contact, but it doesn't mean they like it.

    Difficult to be absolutely sure from your posts, but the vibe I get, (and it's also been picked up by the dancers who've posted), is that you make the particular dancers who won't dance for you uneasy. An uneasy dancer will not tell you so directly - it's bad for business - but they will move in the general direction of "away" as soon as they can find an excuse to do so.

    If you've not spent much time on the "pink" side then take out a little time to read the posts and see what dancers actually think about their job. Go back and read your original post in the light of that information and see if your behaviour still seems appropriate.

    Phil.
    Last edited by Phil-W; 05-09-2005 at 04:33 PM.

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    ^^ Exactly, Phil. Good advice.

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Don't go to the SC to find affection. Go there to look at tits and drink. Be polite, give them money, but don't think too hard. They aren't.

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    xdamage -

    - some of the waitresses know my name b/c I tip better than average (not great / just better) & because sometimes they will sit and chat with me on a slow day. But I never talk to dancers/waitresses/doorgirls about their private lives - I don't go there.

    - my knowledge about the divorce came from a guy that hooks up with the players and Linda was a fav of his.

    Phil -

    "You might enjoy "playful/intense wrestling matches" - the odds are considerably lower that the dancers do."

    There was only one wrestling match - it occurred near the end of the night, the 1st time I met Marie. My guess was that she was a bit tipsy by then. She was the one that upped the ante by pulling a chain out from her discarded costume and trying to wrap it around me - that's when it got intense. I dunno man, that was a weird night.

    "Very much doubt that they like the massages much either."

    OK, they don't like the massages. - dancers, waitresses & doorgirls keep asking for massages that they don't like. And waitresses will buy me beers for massages they didn't like. Fine by me.

    But remember, I'm not talking about dancers in general - only two of them. I've only given 1 massage to Marie & Ann almost always asks for one. I have no problems spending time (usually lots of time) with other dancers - just these two. I gave the background information to try to help readers understand the particulars of my situation.

    "Difficult to be absolutely sure from your posts, but the vibe I get, (and it's also been picked up by the dancers who've posted), is that you make the particular dancers who won't dance for you uneasy. An uneasy dancer will not tell you so directly - it's bad for business - but they will move in the general direction of "away" as soon as they can find an excuse to do so."

    I stopped and thought about this. "Uneasy" yes, but uneasy in what manner? The "eww, you're some gross stalker-type weirdo, that I wanna get away from" manner of uneasiness doesn't seem to mesh with the other vibes that I get from them.

    Why the unsolicited hugs, the stares, and the pats on my shoulder as Marie walks by? Why does Ann approach me and ask for a massage? Ann actually asked me out for dinner once - then stood me up (?)

    If Marie didn't want to have anything to do with me, wouldn't she ignore me altogether? I now only try to get her to sit with me when she approaches me. If she didn't want my attention, then why does she intentionally get my attention?

    Will reading the pink side answer this last question? If so, then I'd be very appreciative if you'd point me to the right thread.

    -thanks

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jatson

    Phil -

    "You might enjoy "playful/intense wrestling matches" - the odds are considerably lower that the dancers do."

    There was only one wrestling match - it occurred near the end of the night, the 1st time I met Marie. My guess was that she was a bit tipsy by then. She was the one that upped the ante by pulling a chain out from her discarded costume and trying to wrap it around me - that's when it got intense. I dunno man, that was a weird night.

    "Very much doubt that they like the massages much either."

    OK, they don't like the massages. - dancers, waitresses & doorgirls keep asking for massages that they don't like. And waitresses will buy me beers for massages they didn't like. Fine by me....

    "Difficult to be absolutely sure from your posts, but the vibe I get, (and it's also been picked up by the dancers who've posted), is that you make the particular dancers who won't dance for you uneasy.... "

    I stopped and thought about this. "Uneasy" yes, but uneasy in what manner? The "eww, you're some gross stalker-type weirdo, that I wanna get away from" manner of uneasiness doesn't seem to mesh with the other vibes that I get from them...

    Will reading the pink side answer this last question? If so, then I'd be very appreciative if you'd point me to the right thread.

    -thanks
    Jatson,

    It's as I said in my last post - dancers are there to work and to do so they conform to stereotype. They meet a continual succession of guys, and they want to get the maximum number of lap dances they can. There would not be time, (even if they wanted to), to explain the realities of their jobs to each new potential customer they met.

    Accordingly, all dancers tend to be "exhibisionists" who get pleasure out of dancing naked in front of strangers. Buy one more dance, (and it's always one more dance), and you might just get to meet them OTC, etc., etc - the good old stereotype.

    You have to realise that these dancers are selling you a fantasy and that they are behaving in the way, (from their experience), that will give them the best financial return from the time that they are working. The main motivation of 95% of dancers is money - please don't think otherwise.

    The best thing to do, (from a customer point of view), is to regard it purely as entertainment. Enjoy the chance to see a pretty woman naked for a few moments and don't take it any more seriously than that.

    Strangely enough, you will find that the majority of dancers actually enjoy meeting customers that treat their visit as a bit of light-hearted fun, treat them as individuals rather than exhibisionistic sex objects, and stay away from the usual dumb subjects of conversation.

    (Some of the topics/questions most disliked by dancers: Do you have a boyfriend/husband? What time do you finish work? What's your phone number? What was it like the first time you danced? Do you get a kick out of this? What does your mother think? Why can't you get a better job?).

    A relatively small number of SC customers get to meet dancers OTC as friends, (and an even smaller number end up in relationships with them). It's only outside of work that you get to know a dancer as she really is. They all adopt "personas" when working and this can bear no relationship to their real personality. Most customers to a SC never understand this. A dancer outside of work can be very different to a dancer at work.

    I can't advise you on specific threads to read, just scroll through the "Stripping General", "Hustle hut" and "Customer Conversation" forums and read any threads that are appropriate.

    To give you a single example - there is currently a "stopping the lickers" thread in the "Stripping General" forum. This give you a good insight into what dancers really feel about guys that want physical contact.

    If you want friendships/relationships with dancers, (and genuine ones are pretty rare), start treating dancers as women first, and strippers a long, long way second.

    Phil.

  20. #20
    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk
    so, you think he isn't a troll? affection, but no more dances? gimme a break. how many customers do you absolutely refuse to dance for because you feel so affectionate towards them? i can't believe you're taking this guy seriously.
    Ah, you're just jealous I'm taking him more seriously in this thread than you. It's nothing to get anxious about. You're at the top of my list of customers I'd refuse to dance for because I felt so flushed with affection.

    But seriously, I don't believe he's necessarily a troll simply because he thinks a stripper might like him. Being misguided about that does not automatically make one a troll (unless you're defining troll as anyone whose SC misperceptions annoy you). More accurately expressed, the issue here is why are they acting affectionate during brief interactions but won't sell him dances? I suspect, just as others have touched on, that they've found greener pastures but aren't burning bridges. Regardless, my bottom line response to him is still that it's impossible to know and a waste of time to pursue so forget it and move on.

    -Ev

  21. #21
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Quote Originally Posted by evan_essence
    ...but aren't burning bridges. Regardless, my bottom line response to him is still that it's impossible to know and a waste of time to pursue so forget it and move on.
    -Ev
    Smart

    ... aren't burning bridges ... great observation, this is what people do (not just dancers)

    ...waste of time to pursue... couldn't agree more. j paints a picture of himself as a normal liked customer, the dancers as giving him hints and what-not here and there that he is liked but won't come out and tell him why they wont dance for him. great, so everyone is happy, so let it be and move on.

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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    My so bad - I should have followed the old maxim & kept it simple.

    Much better first post: "Why would a dancer, who refuses to dance for me, give me unsolicited hugs, stares, and pats on my shoulder as she walks by?"

    Can anyone get beyond simplistic answer/non-answers [she likes you/impossible to tell] and explain some possible rationales for her behavior? Something insightful?

    -thanks

  23. #23
    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Jatson, can you get beyond rationalizing away everyones opinions until you hear something you want to hear? The simple answer to your simple question is ...the dancer is being nice. Your posts give the appearance that your ego is blinding you to what some of the club people really think of you.

    P.S. the subject of your simple question is different than your first post.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

  24. #24
    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    Maybe there's no reason. Maybe it's some elaborate conspiratorial hoax that these dancers have cooked up just to fuck with your head and amuse themselves. Maybe they've known you long enough that they feel like they're your friends, and now feel weird dancing for you. If I were you, I would spend several hours each day ruminating about the reason they won't dancer for you until you finally get to the bottom of it. You're just not spending enough time thinking about it yet...
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

  25. #25
    Gendai73
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    Default Re: Affection, but no more dances. Why?

    I've run into the same issuse a time or two. The one that does it to me. i will come in and explain the problem i'm having and get the female perspective on the problem. After the problem is resolved or i at least have enough info to make a wise decision.

    i'll take her back for a few lap dances to compensate her for her time. Now a few times she has refused to let me for whatever reason. i'll argue with her.

    i don't want to be like everyone else and get what i want and leave.
    or give the dancer a rep as free lunch. you can talk to her and not pay her.

    so i've fould a few ways around it.
    I'm always the first one to tip her while she's on stage(gets the other guys a throwing dollars)why everyone hates to be the first to tip?

    secondly i'll always grab her for the dance as she's getting off stage. that way it's hard to refuse and she seems alot accessable to the other guys. The old monkey see monkey do.

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