Results 1 to 21 of 21

Thread: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Posts
    174
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 10 Times in 8 Posts

    Default guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    In the last few weeks I have had some things happen to me that have never happened to me before with customers. I was wondering if any of these things happen to you all.

    1.Sometimes a customer will buy his friend a dance. While I am doing the private dance the guy will say, " you are a very beautiful girl but you do not have to do this. Just stop."

    2.Sometimes I will as a guy for a dance and he says yes. The guy is just a guy I happen to be walking by at the time or sitting next to at the bar. I will be doing a dance and he just says stop dancing. He still pays me and says thanks.

    3.Sometimes I am dancing for a guy and he says to stop. " I think you are very pretty and dances just make me uncomfortable. I would rather just talk to you in the champange room." I say ok. I have to go on stage. While I am on stage they get up and leave the club.

    I don't know if the guy that buys his friend a dance is doing it as a joke. I don't understand any of this. This happens almost every night to me now. In the last two months only. At first when this happened to me I just brushed it off and thought to myself........less work I have to do. Yet now it is making insecure and it kind of make embaresses me. Just let me know what you all think.

  2. #2
    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Somewhere in Ohio
    Posts
    907
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    That would make me feel insecure also. I'm not sure how to answer this one.

  3. #3
    Senior Member The Snark's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    128
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 9 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    On the rare occasions that I've stopped someone in the middle of a dance, it's been because she is clearly not enjoying herself and is giving a dance completely bereft of sensuality. It makes me feel creepy because the dancer seems to be disgusted by me, and I'd rather not feel disgusting.

    Of course, that's just the experience of one customer, and your customers may have entirely different reasons for cutting the dances short.

  4. #4
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    1,146
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    I've had a few customer who've stopped me from dancing, even having paid or them, because they'll randomly decide I shouldn't degrade myself. Very odd. Not sure why you're getting so much, though.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  5. #5
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    South Chicago Suburbs
    Posts
    2,059
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 139 Times in 62 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by flamerose
    1.Sometimes a customer will buy his friend a dance. While I am doing the private dance the guy will say, " you are a very beautiful girl but you do not have to do this. Just stop."

    I don't know if the guy that buys his friend a dance is doing it as a joke. .
    This happens to me sometimes, too. I think the one who buys the dance does so specifically becuse his buddy hates them and/or he wants to humiliate/embarass the buddy. Usually the buddy tries to weasel out of it, and the buyer will practically shove me into his arms. It feels weird but I reason, if buddy boy did not want to spring for his own dance, it is not my fault if I got stuck dancing for somebody who was not all that interested in the first place.


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

  6. #6
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    Ive only gotten that once when his friend paid for his dances b/c he just got back from somewhere. I started to dance and take my top off and he told me to "stop you dont have to so this" nicely. So, I did but he just wanted to talk and get to know me so we did just that and he gave me the money his friend had given him for his dances.

    If they dont want you to "degrade" yourself or whatever they say I stay and talk but also ask if they would like to pay for my time for chatting in a nice way. Some guys will say this not to get a dance but some just want to talk. If they wanna talk they need to pay your for your time.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  7. #7
    aussiepunkshocker
    Guest

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    I get this sometimes too, and not usually because people think its degrading.
    Try not to worry about it too much, your probably just doing a good job that's all, some people are uncomfortable with that. You can deal with it in a couple of ways - if there are other people who are waiting to tip you just say, "Ok, thank-you for the tip and enjoy the rest of your night blah, blah" and move on to the next people. Or you can say, (nicely / jokingly) "I'm doing my job, shut-up and watch" type of thing. Some guys can be reasuurred that you are happy to dance with them, but if you can't reasure them quickly and easilly just move on and talk to them later on if and when you have time to kill. Check out what you look like in a mirror sometime just incase you are doing something that looks odd which you can change. Don't worry about the ones who leave - they probably wernt going to get a show anyway, so just be happy that they tipped.

  8. #8
    Gendai73
    Guest

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    personaly i've only wanted to stop a dance once. i did my first double dance(taking two back at the same time) my atf at the time looked very uncomfortable.
    i asked her about it later. she said that the other girl tends to push the rules when it comes to touching other dancers.

    hence i've never done a double again.

    but i think with a group of guys that comes in. their is always one that just comes along for ride. he is the least likely to get a dance. his buddies force him to get a dance from one of the dancers. he keeps up appearances until their out of site.
    then will tell you to stop because it's extremely uncomfortable for him. chances are he's the biggest nerd of the bunch and can't talk to regular girls much less a naked one tring to get a rise out of his little monster.

    don't worry about it you still get paid. he goes home with his moral fortitude still in tack. just don't let his buddies find out or they'll force him again and take one back of their own to make sure he enjoys himself.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member Angel1112's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    267
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    hmmm i think maybe the guy is married or in a relationship and it makes him feel as if he is being bad or him thinking his partner wouldn't like it so he tells you to stop....maybe he just went along with it to impress his friends ..

  10. #10
    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Miami/ Ft. Lauderdale
    Posts
    3,337
    Thanks
    4,235
    Thanked 3,664 Times in 1,451 Posts
    My Mood
    Cheerful

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    I wouldn't even worry about it, you are wasting energy by trying to figure out guys at strip clubs. They're weird Bottom Line.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

  11. #11
    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    1,398
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked 14 Times in 14 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    I've only stopped a dancer once and it was because it was getting too warm. I was beginning to sweat, so she just stood up between my legs and danced.

  12. #12
    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Somewhere in Ohio
    Posts
    907
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    I've had plenty of guys stop me in the middle of my dance because of the rules in my club. They were from out of town and not used to such a strict club.

  13. #13
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    13,855
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    If the guy stops you, its likely because he isn't getting the mileage he wants and doesn't want to waste any more time when he could possibly find another girl that will give him the mileage he wants.

    Read the blue site, and other male-oriented sites, such as aspd. You will learn much more about the psyche of the male customer than you will learn here. Its sick stuff.

    As long as he is paying you, don't worry.

    I've also had the friend buy a dance for buddy, then buddy would rather talk. Buddy doesn't dig lapdances, but he likes attention from hot chicks. Since it isn't his money, then he is getting the same value from hanging out with you as he would from a dance. Just enjoy it..........

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  14. #14
    Featured Member london's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    http://playtimewithsandra.com
    Posts
    1,068
    Thanks
    708
    Thanked 300 Times in 136 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    I've hAd it happen twice in the last month or so. One, where a guy was obviously on something (found out later it was some sort of speed-like drug) that turned him into a prick and after asking ME for a dance because 'I was so beautiful" ended it when he tried to grab my 'hoo-ha' and I playfully swatted away his hand and said, off limits, and he said, well, i guess this dance is over, then..paid me twice the rate of the actual dance or two that we had done, then proceeded to try and make me jealous by glomming onto another dancer who , duh, I already KNOW is skanky.....Second time was with a guy who kept wanting me to grab his crotch and I wou,d move away, it was a 3 for 2 special, so for the last dancehe said he wanted me to just dance in front of him, but away a few inches because he was too tempted to touch and also had a wife at home..whateverm he still tipped me, too, on top of the dances...this is why I never see a point in doing extras, because people will still tip you for good "service" within the legal limitations...I like to get very close but I am not like the ones who allow insertion, crotch grabbing, etc....oh well.....tee hee!

  15. #15
    Veteran Member Santos's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    389
    Thanks
    107
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    The main reason I ask a dancer to stop dancing, is that, I often prefer to talk, have drinks; carry-on rather than have the dancer do a dance. I don't know why exactly, but that's just the way I am. As far as I can tell, the dancer doesn't mind. I'm not a bad conversationalist, and she gets paid to sit and talk.

    I’ve had dances from dancers who had bad breath or were obviously not into the dance, but out of politeness, I always let them finish the dance and then decline any more dances. I don’t stop them in the middle of the dance.

    I wouldn’t read too much into what has been happening Flamerose. It just sounds like you’ve run across more than your share of odd ducks.

  16. #16
    God/dess
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Phoenix is home, work in Upper Midwest Boonies
    Posts
    3,274
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 107 Times in 61 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    Katrine is speaking truth. Guys in groups tend to be shy of their buddies watching them get dances, and some guys buy one dance as a "test drive" to see how far you will go with them.

    I wouldn't go as far as saying that guys are weird that go to strip clubs. Some are and some aren't. Just like in everyday life.

    Most guys are into sexual stimulation from girls whom they are attracted to. They go to strip clubs to get good grinding and where available sex acts. Going to ASPD.net and other male dominated sites, even to Strip club List .com will give you insightful info.

    As ladies we want to be paid dance after dance to stand 6 inches plus from a guy and dance with no touching allowed. The majority of guys aren't turned on by this anymore, thus depending on the club, a middle ground of contact must be established, that we as dancers are willing to deal with, and that the customer derives enough satisfaction out of to be willing to pay for.

  17. #17
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    744
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    This is a good thread because at first I thought it was about a business collection issue of non payment for dances. However the customers are paying you, although stopping the dances. Then I thought it might be about complaints that the table side (or VIP area dances) were started after the music began, which is another typical complaint.

    As a customer I am looking for certain traits in a dancer to spend time with and establish rapport. By traits I mean what might be described as character issues in addition to physical beauty and personality issues. The dancer is looking to get some dances and get paid and move on. While I am aware that time is money in a club, I am looking for a fantasy and the dancer is looking to perform a service or product (the dance) and get paid.

    Thus I liked the full nude clubs with no physical contact at the table side dances. I find it uncomfortable to have some strange woman who I don’t know, grinding on top of me or sitting on my lap without any introduction or rapport.

    What does work is getting to know an ATF and also get to know some other of her friends she hangs around with and we seem to get along with each other. This really worked with all time favorite ATF, but she didn’t have too many other girls she hung around with.

    So I suspect that you have run into a group of guys who do not know you and have no rapport, and therefore no interest. It would be helpful to know what type of club you work in. Neighborhood, large Showbar, small Showbar, or upscale Gentlemans Club?
    Is it in an office market in a larger city for instance?

    Finally I look at women and evaluate them fairly much how the women on the ladies discussion forum on this board evaluates men customers. Do they have goals? Are they vacant headed drifting through life. Are they druggies? Are their friends odd? In financial trouble? Are they dancing to help their families? Do they have a day job?
    Are they real students or pretend students because all guys like to hear that the dancers are students. So I like women that pretend to be wild and like to party, but aren’t really wild. Just like I pretend to be wild, and do like to party, but aren’t really. Alot of the
    personal questions you get as dancers relate to these issues. While in truth it is none
    of the customers business, there is a certain group of men that do want to know about you
    as a person and they probably shouldn't. Having a cover story is essential as my ATF didn't have one so I helped her develop one to protect where she lived and her day job which would of been fatal if they discovered her dancing. In essence she answered all my questions after about three months of getting to know me and I got mad at her for giving me too much information. However initially I got no information which is the way it should be.

    This is too long. But I suspect that this strange group of circumstances you are running into is a mismatch between the type of club you work in, and the guys it is attracting.
    The same issue keeps happening over and over with different customers. I have ruled out simple factors and have progressed to more marketing type analysis issues.
    Any change in area employers, or road access that might account for this?

  18. #18
    Veteran Member FieryFox's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    297
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    It might be that you remind them of someone and it creeps them out, or that you are indeed really pretty, or innocent looking and they get creeped out cuz they feel like they are corrupting you or something. It could be any number of reasons. I got really creeped out when I was talkiin with some guy and i told the guy my name (Kylie at the time) and he's like......oh that's my daughters name. I was like.....ok....no dances for you.

  19. #19
    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Europe/NYC
    Posts
    1,511
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 198 Times in 96 Posts
    My Mood
    Flirty

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    That is kind of weird.This has happend to me only once and it was because the guy was not sure he had enough money to pay for the next dance.

  20. #20
    Veteran Member Yea's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Location
    To be discovered
    Posts
    678
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    If this is happening often I would say,
    ( don’t mean to be rude) maybe you smell bad or have something (like toilet paper lol) hanging out?

    Sorry hun, just trying to help.


  21. #21
    bostondancer
    Guest

    Default Re: guys stopping me in middle of a dance!!!

    Ok I didn't read all the other posts real careful so somone else might have said this ....but did you ever think that maybe they are "finishing" during the dance and don't need to continue ? I unfortunetly work in a very high contact club and that happens alot OR maybe you have a funny smell ? somewhere ?? I am not by any means trying to upset you I am just trying to help . GUys stopping like that does happen sometimes but not that often sweetie . Have you asked them ? I ask them how they like my dances anyways , ever try " anything wrong" ?? or maybe " why dn't yu want the rest of tha dacen ? "

Similar Threads

  1. What Categories of Guys Will You Not Dance For?
    By Everyman in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 64
    Last Post: 10-08-2008, 09:34 AM
  2. The group of guys that play monkey in the middle with you.
    By chastity19 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 06-04-2008, 09:00 AM
  3. Guys should not dance if they can't
    By Bob_Loblaw in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-29-2007, 04:04 PM
  4. Which guys would you rather dance for?
    By DJRR in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 54
    Last Post: 11-29-2004, 06:02 PM
  5. which guys do you approach for a dance?
    By CalifSCVisitor65 in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 09-08-2004, 02:17 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •