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Thread: Overcoming severe nervousness

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    Member ThaiLynn's Avatar
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    Overcoming severe nervousness

    I have always been told that I am beautiful, gorgeous even, and I usually believe that I am. My sister has been dancing for 6 six years, both in clubs and at parties. Latley I have been watching her and trying to work up the nerve to try it for myself. Everytime I come close, I freeze up and chicken out. This is mostly becuase I have had NO dancing experience what so ever. I have never even been to a dance club. I am terrified that I will look like a fool. How can I get over this? Also, this site seems to be focused mostly on clubs, I would like a private/party perspective as well if anyone can provide it.

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    Senior Member Ashara's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overcoming severe nervousness

    G'day Thailynn! The first thing you should do is actually check out a dance club to see what it's like. Soak up the atmosphere and stuff. Dancing experience isn't essential, though it helps. Maybe you need to ask yourself, what are you chickening out about? Is it performing in front of a crowd? Is it fear of failure? Is it insecurity? Once you work out exactly what it is, you'll be better equipped to try and do something about it. Actually, the first thing you should ask yourself is: why are you interested in dancing? That will go a long way towards helping you address your nervousness issues. I'm a natural extrovert I suppose, and I love performing in front of people, with or without clothes - but my first time I was pretty nervous as well as I didn't want to stuff up!

    Not sure about private parties as I've never done them, though I might soon. Hope this helps!

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    Senior Member Head Boy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overcoming severe nervousness

    Practice in front of a mirror at home. That's what I used to do when I had to give public speeches.

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    Member Maci Monroe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overcoming severe nervousness

    I have the same fears. I think the thing that scares me the most, is getting up there and looking stupid or not being sexy at all. I mean, what is sexy to me, might not be to others and right now, I know I need to lose a few pounds, so I am not ready to dance anyway. Maybe when I lose some weight, some of my fears will lessen. I know I am attractive, but I've never been really popular so I have this real fear of rejection. I guess that's what my problem is. I haven't really thought about it, but this post made me realize what exactly it is that I am afraid of. Thanks for bringing it up...maybe this is the first step to overcoming it.
    I wouldn't have turned out the way I was if I didn't have all those old-fashioned values to rebel against. ~ Madonna

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    Default Re: Overcoming severe nervousness

    Quote Originally Posted by ThaiLynn
    I have always been told that I am beautiful, gorgeous even, and I usually believe that I am. My sister has been dancing for 6 six years, both in clubs and at parties. Latley I have been watching her and trying to work up the nerve to try it for myself. Everytime I come close, I freeze up and chicken out. This is mostly becuase I have had NO dancing experience what so ever. I have never even been to a dance club. I am terrified that I will look like a fool. How can I get over this? Also, this site seems to be focused mostly on clubs, I would like a private/party perspective as well if anyone can provide it.

    Just a suggestion - but if you want some experience of nudity in front of strangers without dancing, why don't you try being a topless waitress at some of your sister's private parties. If you're comfortable woth that, then you can try dancing proper.

    Phil.

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    Senior Member amber88's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overcoming severe nervousness

    There is a first time for every dancer. Don't worry about guys looking at you on stage on thinking..."man it must be this girls first time dancing" . I really think that dancing a private party would be much more difficult the first time since you're in a smaller crowd and up close...also all the other things to make a guys attention go else where and then back to you could make your first time easier...ie..other girls walking around in the club, the dj talking, the waitstaff asking him to order drinks. People really won't be looking at you under a micrascope..so to speak. If you work a private party...no matter how rock'en your body is...its going to be hard in my opnion. In the club its a different atmosphere, the music is blasting, its a party atmosphere, and the club lighting it much kinder than some guys house.

    Plus if you need a break to collect yourself you can go to the restroom or the locker room and get it together. I think its much easier in a club. Do what you want...but you just really need to set the date and once you get over your first stage...you'll be fine. I'm serious!


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    Member ThaiLynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overcoming severe nervousness

    Thanks for the suggestions! It has been a few days since I posted and while I was gone I was working it with my sister Kendra. WOW, was it ever different than what I had expected?! The first few shows she did, I simply collected her money in my underware (hehe) and learned how to talk to these guys and what to expect from them. Even this made me so nervous that I had decided that this was never going to work, then one of the guys at a show offered me two-hundred bucks! To sit in my undies? Please! So the next time was nothing. If you can do it once.......

    When I saw how much money I was making without even getting naked, I figured what the hell. It doesn't matter when you do it, there WILL be a first time. So I did it. I went all the way and I was so nervous the entire time that I could feel my legs shaking against the guys, but I made it through. And as bad as that sounds-it really wasn't bad at all.
    truth has a liberal bias

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    Senior Member Ashara's Avatar
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    Default Re: Overcoming severe nervousness

    Good for you!

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