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Thread: God Loves Blondes

  1. #1
    Veteran Member lethalsoul's Avatar
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    Default God Loves Blondes

    God Loves Blondes

    A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lotto."

    Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. She again prays..."God, please let me win the Lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

    Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the Lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

    Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself..."Sweetheart, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket"
    lethalsoul

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Stipperella's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    lol, thats funny

  3. #3
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    That's cute!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  4. #4
    Featured Member former_LV_dancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    Even as a true blonde I can appreciate a good blonde joke.... Very cute!

  5. #5
    Featured Member devilkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    lol
    Aut Pax Aut Bellum
    Either Peace Or War

  6. #6
    Pamela
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    Ya know this was perfect timing. As i just put alot of blonde back into my hair!!!!

    Pamela

  7. #7
    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    LOL..... I love being blonde!!!! It's a good excuse whenever I do something dumb.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Truce's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    HAHAHH!!! Dumb blondes! *J/K* Love the blonde jokes, keep them coming...

  9. #9
    Veteran Member ksalerio's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    lol, im not a blonde so i found it funny

  10. #10
    Veteran Member sexystephani's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    Hey that sounds like me!

  11. #11
    Senior Member Ashara's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    Nooo! No more blonde jokes. I'm still trying to fix my monitor from all that liquid paper I put on it last week because I misspelled something.

    Just kidding. Go on - give it your best shot!!

  12. #12
    Sitri
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    So how does a blond turn on the light after sex?




    She opens the car door.

  13. #13
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    I LOVE that one..
    Playboy andMaxim have the best blonde jokes.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  14. #14
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    What does a blonde say after sex?

    "Are all you guys on the same team?"





    What do you call a swimming pool filled with Blondes?

    Carbonated




    What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?

    All you can eat under a buck.




    What is a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?

    Humpme Dumpme!




    What's the mating call of the blonde?

    "I'm *sooo* drunk!"





    What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?

    (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"




    What's a brunette's mating call?

    "When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?"






    What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?

    "Have another beer."




    What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?

    They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".






    Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?

    She realized she gave her last blowjob.






    What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?

    The prostitute says, "Aren't you done yet?"
    The nympho says, "Are you done already?"
    The blonde says, "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."






    A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
    Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
    Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
    Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
    Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.




  15. #15
    Senior Member Underestimated's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    So... THATS why I haven't won.

  16. #16
    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    i love all blonde jokes!

  17. #17
    Senior Member grinew127's Avatar
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    Default Re: God Loves Blondes

    Oh Lord, Won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz, My friends all drive BMWs and Prosches, I must make amends,
    Oh Lord, Won't you buy me a night on the town,Oh Lord, Won't you buy me a color TV, Dialing for Dollars is trying to reach me,
    Prove that you love me and buy the next round, Oh Lord, Won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz.

    Since, I am a blonde, I guess I qualify as low-intelligence moron. Yes, I am resigned to my fate.

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