SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

[Twinkiez]

stripping is probably my second dream job but I am hesitant to try to get into it because of myy family, but i really want to do it. How do I tell my family or if I keep it a secret is that a bad thing?

[candy_parfeum_gurl]

Keep it a secret... seriously! My mom still thinks I work at my old job and my father and I don't talk.

[Destiny]

You can keep it a secret if you want, but the odds are, they will eventually find out. Some girls "ease" their family into the idea by starting out telling their family that they are a waitress at the stripclub. But odds are, they will eventually find out the truth. If you can't deal with them knowing the truth at this point in your life, perhaps dancing isn't for you.

Good Luck!

[tampafldancer]

um...dont say anything now if you think they wont take it well, but they will probally find out eventually!

Id wait until you at least not living with them!

[onlythebest]

I kept it a secret from my family for 11 years.

[SthnrnGrl77]

Ya i'm not telling anyone , there's really no point in it.

[Katrine]

Don't tell anyone. Its NOT a dream job.

[Phil-W]

stripping is probably my second dream job but I am hesitant to try to get into it because of my family, but i really want to do it. How do I tell my family or if I keep it a secret is that a bad thing?

Advice from the male of the species.

It is probably best to be very selective as to who you tell. Dancing unfortunately carries a stigma, and people can be very judgemental.

Be very sure that the people you tell are people that you can trust to keep the secret, and who will not treat you any differently after they find out.

Always remember that you can decide to tell someone later, but you canot "untell" them once they have been let into the secret.

Many dancers do not tell their families - one says her family would disown her if they found out, while another, (who works the "bluer" end of the spectrum), fears the emotional damage to her parents if they ever found out.

On the other hand some dancers have very supportive families - it will all depend on how they view dancing. Remember however, that all parents are very protective of their children and the thought of their daughter being naked in front of strangers might take some getting used to.

Practical story about the pitfalls of telling people? I gave a dancer a lift recently and she was very upset about a so called friend. This friend had been told to keep the dancer's occupation a secret - instead she told someone else. The next time this dancer bumped into the other person she was promptly called a slut.

I'm not saying this is common, just that you need to be very careful who and when you tell.

Phil.

[mercedez]

I've been dancing for 2 yrs and I have never told my family. I don't want to hurt my family in anyway. so keep it a secret.

[Blueyez]

My parents don't know either! My sister does, but that's it.

[ketalar]

I think that it's best to keep it from your family. But like other girls said, it really depends on how your family views dancing...

I found that the men in my life are the least supportive of my decision. my girlfriends are all for it. So is my gay buddy. It's quite tricky to know who to tell.

But if you wanna keep it a secret, make sure you only tell people you trust!

[Bunny]

I would never tell my family. If you live with them it might be tough to hide though.

[DarlingDiva]

I am not yet a dancer, but I don't think I would tell my family. I was brought up in a very strict household and I know that would not go over well. Let's just say, my mom isn't the most accepting person I know.

[TigersMilk]

Yea, Im making sure my mom doesnt find out this time. Its not the fact that she is going to judge me or that she doesnt know ANYTHING at all about the business but that I dont want to see her cry.
Im just hoping I can get in and get out in my few years w/o having to let her know.

Yes, try to keep it a secret. You never know who might approve and disapprove. Its nice to have a support system. If you have a best friend or someone (not your parents) you can tell go ahead. Some nights youll need a friend to call and help you get out of a bad mood.

Yes, like Kat said its not a dream job. I thought it was a dream too..until I burnout and had nothing to show for my time being a dancer. Im not back in the business and going to make it work for me. Sometimes being a dancer you can see a whole different side of men you didnt want to see. Men arent bad though...you just really have to keep your real life away from work life.

[blondhottie]

My family doesn't know either. One time I was joking around and I said I was going to waitress at Hooters and my dad said "You better not!" so I know they would hate it if they knew I danced. I would only tell your family if you know that they are very open-minded and that they'll be accepting of it. Just tell them you have a job such as telemarketing, office work, cleaning houses, etc. so that they can't come to work and visit you and catch you in a lie.

[Casual Observer]

With incredibly rare exception, things like your dancing aspirations/career are better left unsaid.

[tampadancer]

Ive struggled with this one a lot

My mom and I are *very* close. Shes my best friend, and I love her to death.

I have been dancing for the past three years (off and on) and she has no idea. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the guilt - keeping this from her; however, on the other hand, I know that she would be absolutely crushed and devastated (my family is strict southern baptist). My mom has been very supportive and encouraging to me my whole life... I cannot imagine the self-blame she'd feel if she knew i was a dancer. (even though she did NOTHING wrong, I entered this industry by my own choice)

I have chosen not to tell her, because the only thing it would do is make me feel better while throwing a crushing blow at her.

[Malibu]

This is no easy matter.

I prefer to keep the number of people who know to a select number minimum. Like Phil-W said, this is a job that carries a lot of stigmas and the people who I chose to tell, I gave a lot of thought about it. Unfortunately, on one occassion, I did not choose wisely.

With me, I am a relatively private person and what I want people to know about me I like to feel I have control over. However, this will not always be the case as you will realise at some point in regards to your job if you do choose to keep it a secret. Living away from home has not stopped a family member rummaging through my personal belongings and finding out. If someone is keen enough to find out, they will. It just takes their determination and maybe even a minor slip-up on your part.

But if you do choose to tell people or even if someone finds out, do not act ashamed of what you do. It is your job and you are making a good living from it. As I was once told, it's not illegal so you're not breaking the law and you are an adult so you have the choice to make up your own mind as to what limits you set. But just as an opinion, don't get too sidetracked by it all. I know that this is somewhat off on a tangent, but try not to bring your stripper persona into real life. I've seen it happen a lot and it can sometimes lead to destruction and people may lose respect for you. This is another personal reason why I find it helps to keep the two separated.

[BAILEE]

my mom has to be the most conservative, tight assed mom in the world but i still told her. I figured the repercussions of not telling her far outweighed the fact that she could be mad or disappointed. i've been on my own since i was 18 and i'm 23 now and even though we live 300 miles apart i still told her. The decision is yours. I'm sure all this depends on the situation but i feel i made the best decision for me!

[prrfektwurld]

my mom is a hardcore conservative christian. i haven't told her.

[Underestimated]

When my family found out, I had to disconnect my phone. I had to block them on e-mail. I didn't answer my door. Ya know, because I must be on drugs if I have a degree and am not using it. They calmed down after a while. Most of them anyway. My grandmother took 3 years. Now they call me for investing tips. Or, when they have a question about medical bills. If you tell them, or if they find out, it takes time for them to look past the stigma. Show them you're doing something good with it. It makes the news a little easier to take.

[showgirlschloe]

None of my family knows and that works for me. My father was an undercover cop for a long time and he would think the worst of it. Not everyone is understanding. I've told friends and they started looking at me differently like I was a prostitute. It's your choice, none of us can tell you the right thing to do 'cause we don't know your family.

[susan]

Oh yeah... no kidding you keep it a secret!!!!

[A.n.a.l.a.]

you might have to keep it secret if you don't have pretty open minded parents. i don't dance yet- i know i can't even attempt to bother trying out until i get a different kind of job, save money, and move out. (yes i'm still at home. yes, i suck) my mom thinks ANYTHING related to adult entertainment even just serving drinks at a topless bar is demeaning.

[ThaiLynn]

I can't say that you should or shouldn't tell your family that you are dancing, but I will say this: DON'T tell them it's a dream of yours. That may be frightening to parents, in fact Im a little frightened. Good Luck! BTW..........What's dream job #1?