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Thread: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

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    Member Twinkiez's Avatar
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    Default SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    stripping is probably my second dream job but I am hesitant to try to get into it because of myy family, but i really want to do it. How do I tell my family or if I keep it a secret is that a bad thing?

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    Senior Member candy_parfeum_gurl's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    Keep it a secret... seriously! My mom still thinks I work at my old job and my father and I don't talk.

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    You can keep it a secret if you want, but the odds are, they will eventually find out. Some girls "ease" their family into the idea by starting out telling their family that they are a waitress at the stripclub. But odds are, they will eventually find out the truth. If you can't deal with them knowing the truth at this point in your life, perhaps dancing isn't for you.

    Good Luck!
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

  4. #4
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    um...dont say anything now if you think they wont take it well, but they will probally find out eventually!

    Id wait until you at least not living with them!
    Last edited by tampafldancer; 05-01-2005 at 08:27 PM.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    I kept it a secret from my family for 11 years.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

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    Veteran Member SthnrnGrl77's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    Ya i'm not telling anyone , there's really no point in it.

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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    Don't tell anyone. Its NOT a dream job.

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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twinkiez
    stripping is probably my second dream job but I am hesitant to try to get into it because of my family, but i really want to do it. How do I tell my family or if I keep it a secret is that a bad thing?
    Advice from the male of the species.

    It is probably best to be very selective as to who you tell. Dancing unfortunately carries a stigma, and people can be very judgemental.

    Be very sure that the people you tell are people that you can trust to keep the secret, and who will not treat you any differently after they find out.

    Always remember that you can decide to tell someone later, but you canot "untell" them once they have been let into the secret.

    Many dancers do not tell their families - one says her family would disown her if they found out, while another, (who works the "bluer" end of the spectrum), fears the emotional damage to her parents if they ever found out.

    On the other hand some dancers have very supportive families - it will all depend on how they view dancing. Remember however, that all parents are very protective of their children and the thought of their daughter being naked in front of strangers might take some getting used to.

    Practical story about the pitfalls of telling people? I gave a dancer a lift recently and she was very upset about a so called friend. This friend had been told to keep the dancer's occupation a secret - instead she told someone else. The next time this dancer bumped into the other person she was promptly called a slut.

    I'm not saying this is common, just that you need to be very careful who and when you tell.

    Phil.

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    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    I've been dancing for 2 yrs and I have never told my family. I don't want to hurt my family in anyway. so keep it a secret.

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    Veteran Member Blueyez's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    My parents don't know either! My sister does, but that's it.
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    Member ketalar's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    I think that it's best to keep it from your family. But like other girls said, it really depends on how your family views dancing...

    I found that the men in my life are the least supportive of my decision. my girlfriends are all for it. So is my gay buddy. It's quite tricky to know who to tell.

    But if you wanna keep it a secret, make sure you only tell people you trust!

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    I would never tell my family. If you live with them it might be tough to hide though.

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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    I am not yet a dancer, but I don't think I would tell my family. I was brought up in a very strict household and I know that would not go over well. Let's just say, my mom isn't the most accepting person I know.

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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    Yea, Im making sure my mom doesnt find out this time. Its not the fact that she is going to judge me or that she doesnt know ANYTHING at all about the business but that I dont want to see her cry.
    Im just hoping I can get in and get out in my few years w/o having to let her know.

    Yes, try to keep it a secret. You never know who might approve and disapprove. Its nice to have a support system. If you have a best friend or someone (not your parents) you can tell go ahead. Some nights youll need a friend to call and help you get out of a bad mood.

    Yes, like Kat said its not a dream job. I thought it was a dream too..until I burnout and had nothing to show for my time being a dancer. Im not back in the business and going to make it work for me. Sometimes being a dancer you can see a whole different side of men you didnt want to see. Men arent bad though...you just really have to keep your real life away from work life.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    My family doesn't know either. One time I was joking around and I said I was going to waitress at Hooters and my dad said "You better not!" so I know they would hate it if they knew I danced. I would only tell your family if you know that they are very open-minded and that they'll be accepting of it. Just tell them you have a job such as telemarketing, office work, cleaning houses, etc. so that they can't come to work and visit you and catch you in a lie.

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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    With incredibly rare exception, things like your dancing aspirations/career are better left unsaid.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    Ive struggled with this one a lot

    My mom and I are *very* close. Shes my best friend, and I love her to death.

    I have been dancing for the past three years (off and on) and she has no idea. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the guilt - keeping this from her; however, on the other hand, I know that she would be absolutely crushed and devastated (my family is strict southern baptist). My mom has been very supportive and encouraging to me my whole life... I cannot imagine the self-blame she'd feel if she knew i was a dancer. (even though she did NOTHING wrong, I entered this industry by my own choice)

    I have chosen not to tell her, because the only thing it would do is make me feel better while throwing a crushing blow at her.

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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    This is no easy matter.

    I prefer to keep the number of people who know to a select number minimum. Like Phil-W said, this is a job that carries a lot of stigmas and the people who I chose to tell, I gave a lot of thought about it. Unfortunately, on one occassion, I did not choose wisely.

    With me, I am a relatively private person and what I want people to know about me I like to feel I have control over. However, this will not always be the case as you will realise at some point in regards to your job if you do choose to keep it a secret. Living away from home has not stopped a family member rummaging through my personal belongings and finding out. If someone is keen enough to find out, they will. It just takes their determination and maybe even a minor slip-up on your part.

    But if you do choose to tell people or even if someone finds out, do not act ashamed of what you do. It is your job and you are making a good living from it. As I was once told, it's not illegal so you're not breaking the law and you are an adult so you have the choice to make up your own mind as to what limits you set. But just as an opinion, don't get too sidetracked by it all. I know that this is somewhat off on a tangent, but try not to bring your stripper persona into real life. I've seen it happen a lot and it can sometimes lead to destruction and people may lose respect for you. This is another personal reason why I find it helps to keep the two separated.
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    Member BAILEE's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    my mom has to be the most conservative, tight assed mom in the world but i still told her. I figured the repercussions of not telling her far outweighed the fact that she could be mad or disappointed. i've been on my own since i was 18 and i'm 23 now and even though we live 300 miles apart i still told her. The decision is yours. I'm sure all this depends on the situation but i feel i made the best decision for me!
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    my mom is a hardcore conservative christian. i haven't told her.

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    Senior Member Underestimated's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    When my family found out, I had to disconnect my phone. I had to block them on e-mail. I didn't answer my door. Ya know, because I must be on drugs if I have a degree and am not using it. They calmed down after a while. Most of them anyway. My grandmother took 3 years. Now they call me for investing tips. Or, when they have a question about medical bills. If you tell them, or if they find out, it takes time for them to look past the stigma. Show them you're doing something good with it. It makes the news a little easier to take.

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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    None of my family knows and that works for me. My father was an undercover cop for a long time and he would think the worst of it. Not everyone is understanding. I've told friends and they started looking at me differently like I was a prostitute. It's your choice, none of us can tell you the right thing to do 'cause we don't know your family.

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    Featured Member susan's Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    Oh yeah... no kidding you keep it a secret!!!!

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    Veteran Member A.n.a.l.a.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    you might have to keep it secret if you don't have pretty open minded parents. i don't dance yet- i know i can't even attempt to bother trying out until i get a different kind of job, save money, and move out. (yes i'm still at home. yes, i suck) my mom thinks ANYTHING related to adult entertainment even just serving drinks at a topless bar is demeaning.

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    Default Re: SoOo nervous, how do you tell family?

    I can't say that you should or shouldn't tell your family that you are dancing, but I will say this: DON'T tell them it's a dream of yours. That may be frightening to parents, in fact Im a little frightened. Good Luck! BTW..........What's dream job #1?
    truth has a liberal bias

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