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Thread: What's your "sure-fire" story?

  1. #1
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default What's your "sure-fire" story?

    Salespeople tend to hone to perfection a small number of stories, jokes, anecdotes that help draw in customers during those crucial moments. Do you have a sure-fire story? What is it?

  2. #2
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    I don't have a story perse,all I have to say is,"This is Mardi Gras capital,baby!!!Have fun and cut lose!!!"

    It works 99% of the time.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  3. #3
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    I tell people that male penguins hoard desirable nest building rocks, and trade them to female penguins for sexual favours. What I find facinating about this is not that penguins have prostitution - it's that penguins have an economy and currency.

    I know it sounds weird.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Member Montreal_dancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    I fucking love that! It is hilarious! I want to use this... I mean just in simple conversation, ha ha ha... sooooo funny.

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    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    I tell people that male penguins hoard desirable nest building rocks, and trade them to female penguins for sexual favours. What I find facinating about this is not that penguins have prostitution - it's that penguins have an economy and currency.

    I know it sounds weird.

    thats cracks me up

  6. #6
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    What's weirder are the penguins who save up rocks for months before waddling into the penguin SCs on the "bad side" of the beaches. Nothing more pathetic than a horny, rockless penguin leaving a club at 3:00 a.m.

  7. #7
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicagoeditor
    What's weirder are the penguins who save up rocks for months before waddling into the penguin SCs on the "bad side" of the beaches. Nothing more pathetic than a horny, rockless penguin leaving a club at 3:00 a.m.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  8. #8
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    My best line is a joke... and it hasnt failed me yet!

    Customer: "Hey! You have THE (best looking/nicest/most fantastic/etc...) ass ever!"

    Me: "Thanks! I got it on sale at Sears."

    The customer usually cracks up and asks for a dance or two...


    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
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    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
    Marasmus says, "Oh no, that wasn't gas, it was merely a rectal chuckle."

    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    I don't have a story perse,all I have to say is,"This is Mardi Gras capital,baby!!!Have fun and cut lose!!!"

    It works 99% of the time.
    That's because you knock them around with those DDs if it doesn't work.

    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    ^^ Paige Im gonna use that next time!! Thats F-ing great!!
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  11. #11
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    My dipsh** ex left an empty pizza box in the oven. When I turned it on, after a few min. I discovered a small blaze. Luckily, I keep a 5lb box of baking soda in the kitchen...


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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  12. #12
    Veteran Member Nina's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz
    My dipsh** ex left an empty pizza box in the oven. When I turned it on, after a few min. I discovered a small blaze. Luckily, I keep a 5lb box of baking soda in the kitchen...
    OMG you are tooooo funny!!!!
    Sexy, Swarovski Stripper jewelry, OOAK, and DIY clothing


    "Acceptance is right. Kindness is right. Love is right. I pray, right now, that we're moving into a kinder time when prejudice is overcome by understanding; when narrow-mindedness, and narrow-minded bigotry is overwhelmed by open-hearted empathy; when the pain of judgmentalism is replaced by the purity of love"
    Janet Jackson

  13. #13
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's your "sure-fire" story?

    I usually just mumble some shit about my baby's daddy and my baby daddy getting out of jail.
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

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