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Thread: body hatred

  1. #26
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: body hatred

    Okay, I just re-read - that sounds very judgemental, like you want to be sick, or you're a bad person for not immediately deciding this. That's not what I mean at all. I completely understand not being able to/not wanting to make the decision. It's giving up a lot, and there is no point in lying about what a premium we place on thinness in our society. "You can never be too rich or too thin" and all of that, and pretty much all "beautiful women" in our society are thin, thin, thin. And, as I said, I realize that purging (through vomiting or starvation) can feel really, really, good. I'm not telling you that you have to start eating twinkies as fast as you can to orc up for mental health. But you do have to accept a certain amount of weight gain while you heal, mentally and physically, and a certain amount of permanent weight gain (probably) when you are healthy. And part of the decision IS to value other things more than your weight. Really, when you think about it, the "panic" that you describe seems to be a part of the illness, right?

    Again, I do not judge you and I absolutely respect your own decisions regarding yourself.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  2. #27
    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: body hatred

    I think the massage therapy thing is interesting. I had a friend in massage school and she used to talk about the benefits of touch and healing. I have trouble relaxing and get back pain from that and shoulder pain and had a massage recently from a really good massage therapist and I actually slept really well that night and felt really relaxed. Tampa, if you do decide you'd want to try that I can give you this lady's name. She's really sweet and also a nurse and I know she wouldn't be thinking you're fat at all.

  3. #28
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    Default Re: body hatred

    if anybody wants to read the full article, just shoot me a pm.


  4. #29
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: body hatred

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer
    Jenny, you can't imagine the alarms this statement set off in my brain. Getting "fat" is not an option...

    you make it sound like pudging up is the only way for me to get over this, and I don't think that's the answer. I do appreciate your input, please don't think i'm firing back - I want to hear everyone's advice and experiences... I just know that is not the answer. Maybe I just misinterpreted your post
    I don't think she meant getting "fat". I think she meant that if you eat healthy and exercise at a healthy interval...that when your body adjusts to it's "proper" weight, although you'll still be thin, you may be "bigger" than what you are used to.

    For instance, I am 5'5 1/2 - 5'6, I cannot get lower than 135 pounds...unless I completely starve myself and exercise my ass off every single day of the week...massive cardio sessions. But, when I did that (about 10 years ago) I was down around 115 pounds. I was never happy with my weight no matter how thin I got (and at 115 pounds for me, my periods were screwed up already and I looked pasty and sick). After I got help, I started gaining weight...within a few years of focused eating--lots of fruits and veggies with a little meat--I stabilized my weight; I was doing weights and moderate cardio 6 days a week...and I evened out at 135. I was nicely muscular and toned...wore a size 4-6 (depending on brand) clothes...and I was "bigger" than what I was used to, but I noticed that I FELT healthy. All of my health problems began to disapper when my body could concentrate on what it was supposed to do instead of trying to save energy just to get through the day.

    So...I know it's hard...it took about 4 years for me to really learn how to "trust" my body that it would know where it was healthy at. But, once I did that...and kept up a healthy eating style and exercise style...things just fell into place. And, I was happier...healthier than I'd been in years and years. Feeling that way helped me stay on track. Until now, when I've gained 20 pounds for stopping exercising and eating healthy (well, had a medical issue so was on bed rest for 4 weeks) but, aside from that...my weight gain was due to my decision to stop taking care of myself...which is where I find myself now.

    Back to the drawing board.

  5. #30
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: body hatred

    I'm 5'4" and about 118 with 17% bodyfat and totally GROSSED OUT by myself.
    My God. I have 17% bodyfat--but I'm male and I have 6" of height and 65lbs of muscle on you. You are so not fat, pretty lady. Women are supposed to have a greater percentage of fat in their body composition. But I know you already know that...

    For instance, I am 5'5 1/2 - 5'6, I cannot get lower than 135 pounds...unless I completely starve myself and exercise my ass off every single day of the week...massive cardio sessions. But, when I did that (about 10 years ago) I was down around 115 pounds. I was never happy with my weight no matter how thin I got (and at 115 pounds for me, my periods were screwed up already and I looked pasty and sick).
    This hurts me to read, mostly because it seems so many women have image problems, including two past girlfriends of mine. I never knew what to say then, and I still don't. Talk about feeling like the inadequate boyfriend. The typical male response of gratuitous fawning and compliments in an effort to reassure physical attractiveness and sex appeal almost seemed futile and wholly counterproductive. (See knee-jerk reaction above...habits die hard indeed)

    I hope you guys find some relief.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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