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Thread: Frienemies who judge what you do

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    Default Frienemies who judge what you do

    You girls have that friend or group of friends whom you totally regret even telling that you dance? They warn you over and over you're going to lose your soul and that it's a sinister world...and they've never even been to a strip club. Granted I understand their concern but when it turns to condemnation it irritate me. Hmm, let's see, I've been almost 3 years now, and since then my life has been easier financially, I'm sending my parents on luxurious trips, and I generally feel my life has gotten a helluvalot better than before, when I used to be a receptionist taking shit from catty Beverly Hills snobs for less than ten dollars and hour...yeah, I'd say my life's improved somewhat! Sometimes I think they won't be happy UNLESS I prove them right and it's been successful and relatively good for me. Jesus, who needs enemies when you've got friends like these??

    Granted you have the 'dark side' of dancing to watch out for, like guys trying to pull their dicks out on you right before you sit on their lap, and the typical slew of catty jealous cunts. But it seems to me that if you are disciplined, not lazy and have the ability to separate work from real life, the benefits $$$$ far outweigh the negatives. My friends refuse to believe this, and it's to a point where I can no longer even talk about anything work-related, god forbid, especially if it was a positive experience.

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    Veteran Member pimpy718's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    People like that are not people you want to be friends with. Yeah, they care and want you to "DO THE RIGHT THING" but whose to say whats right and what isn't? If you're able to live like a functional adult and enjoy the life you live-these are people that really DON'T care about you because the DON'T accept you for who you are-they accept you based on what you do-which is bullshit.

    I've encountered people like this (I decided to let go of a friend of mine when she wouldn't shut up about stripper sob stories and how it's so wrong.) I even had to temporarily break up with my boyfriend because he would degrade me by telling me all I do is "shake my ass." People like this are negative, will affect you negatively, and in turn, your money will be affected negatively. I know how you feel, it sux when people are such close minded ass*****. But you're better off letting them go in the long run, because if they were really your friends and saw you for the good person you are-they wouldn't judge you on shallow bullshit like this.
    "You love my lady lumps."



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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    Totally my point...Jesus, that leaves me with maybe just one or two 'real' friends.

    To be a loner, or not to be...

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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    I've seen a lot of girls that have changed since they began stripping- that whole "stripper mentality". If you don't turn into that, then I don't know what the problem is. I've just seen girls that turn kinda fake and materialistic since they started in this industry. Maybe that's what they're afraid of.

  5. #5
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    Quote Originally Posted by coldhustler
    Totally my point...Jesus, that leaves me with maybe just one or two 'real' friends.

    To be a loner, or not to be...
    This is a decision that alot of us have had to make, myself included. About 6 1/2 years ago, I decided that being alone (a "loner") is far less lonely than having people around me who don't love me unconditionally. Guess what? Doing that has helped me build a social circle of caring, loving friends who don't pass judgement on me for my work and my many imperfections.

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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    I have, for some reason, known, grown up with, and/or been related to alot of strippers, both female and male. Some of them, I must admit exemplify the different stereotypes associated with dancing. Some are drug addicts, some are whores (by conservative society's standards), some are bitches,snobs, and ignorant asses. But these people were dumb, crack-smoking, sluts before they danced, or would-be dumb, crack-smoking, sluts. I don't think dancing molded them into anything they weren't capable of becoming on their own. I don't see my self becoming one of them simply because I have started dancing. If these people don't know how smart and decent you are they simply aren't your friends. I would be insulted that they presume me to be so weak and impressionable. I don't know if that made any sense at all. I am finding this particulalry difficult to articulate.
    truth has a liberal bias

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    kymchoon
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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamazon
    being alone (a "loner") is far less lonely than having people around me who don't love me unconditionally.
    Damn straight. I can count the number of people that I consider 'friends' on the fingers of one hand. Everybody else goes into the 'friendly aquaintance' category. Your spare time is a finite quality, maximise the use of it by spending it with people who like you for you.

    Real friends may judge, but they never condemn.

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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    I have the same problem as you coldhustler - well my "friends" stopped talking to me completely! I'm actually glad though because it proves they weren't true friends just like the girls your describing. If they were they'd be supportive of your decision. After I told them I really had no girl friends to talk to for a while but now I've meet some great girls through dancing and would much rather be in there company anyway!

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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    All of my friends know I dance.I have been blessed with great friends that will support me in every decision I make.If your friends try to make you feel "condemned" for dancing,then they are really not true friends.You are right though about being able to separate dancing from personal life and being "disciplined" helps 100%.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    Great input ladies...just the reality check I needed to confirm my suspicions. I think I've had it with having all my ups and downs be scrutinized under a microscope and all of them being attributed to that big evil cause, dancing. Know what I mean? If I have a bad day it's because I'm a stripper and they told me so. If I have a good day, it's because I'm a stripper and I'm letting it go to my head.

    Know what I mean!!! What a bore it is dealing with friends who don't "get you".

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    Veteran Member luvbuniz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    I'm blessed to have a core group of friends who have known me for years. I'm only stripping for a short time to earn some extra cash and they understand that.

    Oddly, I find the most judgemental people are women from outside the industry. They can be accepting on the outside but when there's a riff, they use it as an insult.

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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    Very interesting topic. My girl dances part time and I have to admit, when we were in the friend stage it was a major topic of contention at first. I could never understand why this beautiful young lady who had so much going for herself would want to do something like this. Understand when we met she was not dancing.

    But I learned a lot and did some serious growing up and realized I was being highly judgmental and NOT being the best friend she said I was. By being supportive our relationship grew tremendously, her trust grew tremendously and things are really good. She did ask for me to be honest if I saw it affecting her negatively or her getting caught up in it, things have been good to this point and I appreciate that level of open-ness.

    So I agree you're better off without those type of people in your life. Friends should be there if it becomes obvious the dancing is having a negative affect to be honest and tell you the truth but if they are your friends they also shouldn't judge you. It's always awesome when you learn things in life, and this was a definite life lesson.

    Faithless

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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    Yeah, and that leaves me with two guy friends and a few female acquaintences. Oh well. It's so true though that you can feel lonlier around people who don't believe in you. In my heart of hearts I think alot of the judgementalism arises from jealousy over the fact that I've gone from rags to riches so to speak. It hasn't changed who I am inside, just helped my financial situation---is this sooooo hard to get?

    I'm so frustrated with the whole pettiness issue among women that seems consistently cause a riff and what pisses me off the most is that if the tables were turned, I'D understand. I'D be happy for their success and financial betterment. Guess I'm just unlucky when it comes to female friends.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    I'm the same way...


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess Miss Jessica's Avatar
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    Default Re: Frienemies who judge what you do

    No, thank god. My friends know better than to lecture me. I welcome their opinions, and we have gotten into heated discussion on the subject of my "career" before. But as for them getting on a soap box.... yeah. They know better.
    "We all must suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. In order to achieve what others don't, you have to do what others won't."


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