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Thread: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

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    Member prairie's Avatar
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    Default "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    Lately when I talk to people I've been hearing that title phrase A LOT. Just about everytime the subject of work comes up. I see no reason not to disclose what I do unless I think that person is the kind of perv to ask for "free samples".
    I really do not know how to take this. It's offensive for a lot of reasons. Depending on my mood / self esteem that day I might take it as "how'd YOU get a job stripping?" Other days just the stereotyping itself pisses me off.
    What's worse is when someone goes, "Oh, I meant that in a good way". What the fuck? What's wrong with it? I LIKE what I do.
    Anyway yeah, I'm aggravated and needed to vent. Nobody's awake and this really isn't the kind of thing I could call my mom up about.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    It's just a reflection of the ignorance of the general public regarding strippers. They automatically think we're all whores, sluts, drug addicts, stupid, uneducated, etc etc etc etc - anything socially negative a woman can be, we are in the eyes of civilians. Guilty until proven innocent. When they meet someone who doesn't fit that stereotype and find out she's a stripper, they're shocked and your title phrase is the standard response. Unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it, we can't change the way people see strippers, only the way we handle it. I sometimes ask them "well what exactly is a stripper supposed to be", just to get a rise out of them, but mostly I ignore their stupidity, perhaps make a comment about how stereotypes don't work, and let them stew on it. They either realize their mistake or assume I must be really good at hiding my "true" nature then I either keep associating with them or not...

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    I hear that also... "oh my god, I can't believe she's a stripper"

    and some variations
    "oh my god, I can't believe you visit strip clubs"
    "oh my god, I can't believe you pay to see naked girls"


    after spending so much time here, I tend to forget what a taboo this industry is to the masses.

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    Thats the same thing as.. " WOW! You look really good for your age." WTF? Gee, thanks.
    Gotta love those backhanded insults of stupid folk.

    Miss R

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    Quote Originally Posted by A_Guy
    and some variations
    "oh my god, I can't believe you visit strip clubs"
    "oh my god, I can't believe you pay to see naked girls"
    Heard 'em both. Though usually never more than once from the same person.

    I have had a couple femenist millitant types act all condescending and insulted about it a few times though. But i just figured that if they were gonna paint me with a brush i might as well play the mona lisa (that drove 'em nuts).

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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    It's a stupid comment. It's just because people a preconceptions which are often untrue and therefore they often make that exclamation.

    However, I daresay we have all been guilty of making a comment of the ''Oh my gosh, I can't believe you are/he is/she is a(n)...'' type at somepoint so I cannot really rant.
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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    Your teeth are so yellow, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


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    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    Some of my teammates wonder about it sometimes. They don't know about the industry and they all have the preconceived notion that all strippers are drug addicts, sexually abused fragile beings, extras girls, and so. Then they do that shit to me with the "why would you pay someone to spend time with you, that's pathetic". I'm 20 years old, I can give my money to whomever I choose for whatever reason suits me. I got that guilt trip today from a friend of mine. "Well hell, I'll sit on your lap and talk to you for free. You don't have to pay me anything." But everyone has their share of stereotypes. Just like *all* strippers are coke addicts, hookers, drop-outs, or what the fuck ever; all college softball players are wanna-be-a-man dykes. You do what you like to do. Everyone faces adversity at some point. It's called deflecting. They're unhappy about some aspect of themselves or their life, so they try to make you feel inferior.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    and some variations
    "oh my god, I can't believe you visit strip clubs"
    "oh my god, I can't believe you pay to see naked girls"
    Yeah, I get this sometimes...mostly from people that have no idea, as Bridgette stated, about what strippers are really about and what SCing is, and what the experience can be for more educated and experienced customers.

    They have no idea what they're missing out on...

    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  10. #10
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    Different angle: I started with nothing to lose. So it's not like stripping was a big strike against me.
    Secretly I feel proud of going very far to take care of my business, but publicly, I'm discreet, and don't pay mind the opinions of others. "Opinions are like but*holes,...everybody has one...."
    Can't lie, there is a low element that gives stripping a bad reputation. But I had joys and benefits I could never have had otherwise, without being a dancer. "It's all cake. " (Wink.)

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    First, generally people are Modest because they are told by parents that they need to be; they are given many reasons.
    Second, its that religion thing.
    Third, its that "showing your nipples to strangers" thing.
    Fourth, it's that "showing your pussy to strangers" thing .
    Fifth, it's that "spreading youself open to strangers" thing.
    Sixth, its that 'rubbing up against strangers" thing.
    Then it is that collection of stereotypes -- "whores, sluts, drug addicts, stupid, uneducated, etc" as stated by Bridgette.

    Little do they know what it really is. Ignorance and their personal expectations play a LARGE role in public intolerance and in its formulation of stereotypes. If things were realistic, a lot of things could be said about "housewives" too. (You mrean you clean houses, sleep with some man you years, get pregnent with him, don't have a real job or earn your ownmoney? You are an ignorant, stupid, slut, leach.) It's just in the way you look at it.

    People are judged by what they do to earn or to get money. It's your lot in life; you made the choice. Live with it the best you can.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    Quote Originally Posted by prairie
    Lately when I talk to people I've been hearing that title phrase A LOT. Just about everytime the subject of work comes up. I see no reason not to disclose what I do unless I think that person is the kind of perv to ask for "free samples".
    I really do not know how to take this. It's offensive for a lot of reasons. Depending on my mood / self esteem that day I might take it as "how'd YOU get a job stripping?" Other days just the stereotyping itself pisses me off.
    What's worse is when someone goes, "Oh, I meant that in a good way". What the fuck? What's wrong with it? I LIKE what I do.
    Anyway yeah, I'm aggravated and needed to vent. Nobody's awake and this really isn't the kind of thing I could call my mom up about.
    So why tell them?

    The world is full of judgemental people, willing to be negative about people with other value systems from themselves.

    With some people it's a genuine reaction - they are not comfortable with nudity, and find it difficult to relate to someone who is. This at least is a honest reason to be judgemental. With others, it's that distressing need to feel "superior" to others - "prairie shows her body to strangers, and therefore she's inferior to me" - this always seems a more hypocrital approach.

    I think one thing it always important to remember - strip clubs are a little sub-culture most people never experience or understand. They are thus judgemental on very little information.

    It's also important to remember that you can get very accustomed to the nudity aspect of what you do. I've got several OTC friendships with dancers, and we are so used to each other, we treat each other exactly the same inside a venue as we do outside. I'm used to them being nude, and neither they nor I pay too much attention to it. (Main reason for me being at the venues is that I've given them a lift to/from work.)

    Same thing with most dancers, I guess. You can get very used to being naked, and you forget that other people will never develop that feeling. If the person you talk too is not comfortable with being naked, then you will very likely get an "anti" response, as that person projects him/herself as being naked in front of strangers.

    Going back to my first point of "why tell them - why indeed? Most dancers I know are very wary of the judgemental reaction they get from most people, so they opt only to tell only a small circle of close family and trusted friends what they do.

    Similarly, I value the friendships I have with several dancers. I will not have their feelings hurt by people with other value systems, (or ignorant idiots), and thus I never, but never, tell my more conventional friends what these dancers do.

    This is for two reasons. Firstly, it is for the dancer, not me, to decide who she lets know. If she wants to tell people that's fine - it's her decision to do so and I won't pre-empt it. Secondly, I'm aware of the judgmental reaction to dancing - and rather than explain to people what they probably won't understand anyway - I chose to leave them in blissful ignorance. (It's easier that way).

    Phil.

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    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    The common reason here seems to be ignorance. Those that have personally seen war and killed or saw death, personally seen how another culture overseas lives or views sex (such as a topless beach in France or the sex trade in parts of Asia), personally experienced being an addict then going through recovery, personally experienced debilitating disease, injury, child birth, loss of loved one, yada yada......... are more informed and may have a more open minded, worldly understanding, less judgemental view of life/sex in general.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    It's the year 2005.I don't understand what all the fuss is all about.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Default Re: "oh my god, i can't believe you're a stripper"

    I am a member of some forums for military wives/girlfriends since my man is deployed. The subject of strippers keeps gettting brought up. For example: "relationship rules = no strip clubs" or "my hubby went to a strip club and didn't tell me". The replys to these I usually read are all negative. I have run into a few ex dancers or girls with friends who dance that stand up for dancers. Most of these women loathe dancers and believe all the negative stereotypes. They believe we're out there to steal their husbands...like they are the only men in the club. Most of the time I post that if they would like to hear some things from an insider...just pm me. THey never do, I think they would rather go on thinking the worst.

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