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Thread: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

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    Default Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Ok, I made this account for my girlfriend of almost 4 years since she just started stripping. She's been at it a week and she's been doing great! What I was wondering is did anyone have experiences with their boyfriends visiting them at the club? I would love to go watch her in action and I have supported her 110% with this so I'd like to see what she can do in the club. Also, I'd like to go and play her up while she's on stage, etc. and help out, maybe give some constructive criticism, etc. So, is this a good idea, or will it freak out the managers, etc. and cause problems? She wants me to come in and see her, and I'm a laid back guy who understands that things happen at a stripclub like roaming hands and such and I know she can handle it....so I'm not planning on getting pissed and beating anyone up. I'd just like to support my wonderful, beautiful girl at the club and hype her up some as well.

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    Veteran Member Heaven777's Avatar
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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    I'd like to see what others say about this as my SO is in the same situation as you are and he would like to visit me also. In my opinion I can see myself feeling nervous performing in front of him...you know like not wanting to look like a tard in front of him. I wouldn't mind him being there as long as nobody told the managers he was mine. It's against the rules for BFs to come in my club...
    If everything you try is a sure thing, you aren't taking enough risks. If you never fail, you put a limit on the degree to which you can succeed. In short, the only way to win big is to risk losing

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Aside from the fact that managers usually frown on this and prohibit it (and with very good reason--ITC lover's spats are bad for business), do you really want to come in and affect her game? Once the novelty wears off, you'll both want the separation between your personal and professional lives, which will eventually become important if you want to keep the relationship strong.

    Two cents.
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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    ^Agreed 100%.The only way it will work long term is if you get off on watching your woman that way.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    I'd stay away, at least for a while. Let her get her bearings first, she's only been doing it a week. If you simply CAN'T resist, just go in ONCE, be lowkey and leave within half an hour. Don't make it obvious you're her man, don't tell anyone, just go in and act like any other customer. Applaud her onstage but now overly so. Then NEVER go in again. Right now it's new and fun and a novelty, but it's her WORK and you need to keep that separate from the relationship.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Glad I came across this thread. My girl is dancing part time again for the summer and has asked me a number of times to come up there with her, at least for the first half hour to hour of her shift as she gets real nervous when she starts (any other dancers experience this?) and feels having me there would help calm her nerves. At times I wonder if she gets that nervous if this is the right thing for her but surely other dancers must experience this, just like an athlete would before a game or a musician before they take the stage, etc.

    I went up to see her once over a year ago when we were in the friend stage and it was just an awkward situation. But she's asked a number of times since she started back this spring/summer and I've felt it would be best if we did not do that. Am I wrong on this one or am I taking the right steps by staying outside? I have no problem driving her up there so I can give her the "pep talk" and try to calm her nerves before she walks in but can't see how me being in there could lead to anything but potential problems. As others say here, I've tried to keep her work seperate from the relationship. Just wondering if others think I'm handling this right.

    Faithless

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Yeah, I always drive her to work and then pick her up (makes me feel better, not just her). If I did go it would be VERY SELDOM. I just wanted to check her out because she turns me on all the time normally and when she gets into her stripper outfits at home....... *drool*. I'll prolly go in discreetly, probably early in the evening when it really isn't busy yet and let her do a dance or two for me then quietly slip out. I understand it is her work, I just think it is very hot and I want to see how great she is.

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    My only concern is guys always say oh its great my gfs a stripper she turns me on....but until you see her crawling all over OTHER guys jealousy might kick in. You wont know unless you go there.

    I say keep it separate. Let her be her other self at the club and make money. But, Brig's advice is right on about being discreet and staying not for awhile. I think if you did go (im sure were not going to stop you) go on a busy night where you can blend in.
    you live like an ivy vine
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    Veteran Member Heaven777's Avatar
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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    you know I was thinking about this...and I don't really think I'D like it. My man probably would. But I don't think I would because I like having a place where I am just myself you know? Alone. I like having a place to go and be away from eachother. Don't get me wrong, I love hime VERY much, but having a place I like to go without him is kind of nice...
    If everything you try is a sure thing, you aren't taking enough risks. If you never fail, you put a limit on the degree to which you can succeed. In short, the only way to win big is to risk losing

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    Veteran Member Nina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    When we first started dating, my man loved to come and watchme work..Nowhe won't even consider it. THe novelty wore off, and really it starts to mess w/ some guys minds.......

    She acts alll flirty w/ me like that too...is she just playing me for $$$$?

    or

    She never acts flirty like that with me anymore...Is she screwing one of these guys....

    Even though in your mind you know she's acting and that it's a job, and that she may have a totally different personae at work, it can be very difficult.....

    Plus a lot of dancers find it difficult to make $$ while dating...we get all lovey dovey and out of the hustler mode--it;s even more difficult when your BF's watching you.... Instead of going after the kill at work, you are thinking about cuddling w/ your man when you get off.

    Everyone's differnt though!
    Sexy, Swarovski Stripper jewelry, OOAK, and DIY clothing


    "Acceptance is right. Kindness is right. Love is right. I pray, right now, that we're moving into a kinder time when prejudice is overcome by understanding; when narrow-mindedness, and narrow-minded bigotry is overwhelmed by open-hearted empathy; when the pain of judgmentalism is replaced by the purity of love"
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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    I went in once... Saw... then stayed the fuck away. Trust is one thing, torturing yourself with trust is another. No need to make her self conscious, and no need to make yourself self conscious. If you go more than once or twice you better be one laid back son-of-a-bitch, or you'd better be prepared for the drama you brought into your own heart.

    Just trust her. You want to see her dance, ask her to dance for you. You'll be a lot more likely to get a 'happy ending' than the other dudes she dances for. It helps for you to think of the custies as coked up fatasses, even if they really aren't. You keep going in and you'll wind up measuring yourself against people you don't even have to... That's never good.

    You need self esteem to be a dancers man. If you don't have it, don't apply. In this respect i am 100% on the dancer's side. I feel no pity for a man who 'lets it get to him.' He knew what he was getting into. Same with the "fixers." Gotta fix 'em? Why bother with it? Find someone you don't need to shape to your liking.

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    I see what you're getting at. With me and my girlfriend there aren't any trust issues. Now, granted, if I saw a guy try and put his finger in her ass like she told me about the other night, I might get a little ticked. But like I said before, she can handle herself and at the end of the night she's going home with me. . .and I get to help her spend that schmuck's money. I've never been in the club she works at and I just want to get the chance to see her on stage in her element, ya know? Lights, pole, everything. It'll more than likely end up being a one time deal and my curiosity will be satisfied and I'll leave her to hustle up all the cash she can. Besides, like you said, what girl could be her best when she knows her man is sitting at the back table eyeballing her all night?

    So far, all my dealings with the guys who work/run the club have been great (mainly security telling me how and where to pick her up, etc.) but I don't want to piss them off by showing up. I'm more concerned with their reaction than I am with problems coming up between me and the lady.

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Quote Originally Posted by WestTXHottie
    I've never been in the club she works at and I just want to get the chance to see her on stage in her element, ya know? Lights, pole, everything.
    Then go. Once. Just be prepared, and remember that YOU CAME OF YOUR OWN WILL. She didn't make you. What happens is what happens fore and aft without you there. A lot of guys can't handle this. You are just words on the internet, is why I am being so blunt. Once again, you need to be of a special esteem type, meaning you have to really know she'll not only come home to you, but you have to KNOW she's not thinking of guys at work. Trust me, she's not, but that doesn't stop the gremlins of doubt. This is why i say you need TOP self esteem.

    Man, i wish you well, and i'm only dishing you my experience. Mine says don't go in. Go in if you must, but only seldom and leave once she goes off stage. If she knows you are there she'll be dancing for you anyway. As i am told that's how it goes anyway. Might as well be you. So then just count your wins and duck.

    Besides, like you said, what girl could be her best when she knows her man is sitting at the back table eyeballing her all night?

    Right? You got a choice, brother. You can be a man or you can be a "man" (there's a big difference, just ask around). Here's one rooting.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    When guys I date ask if they can come see me at work, I say no. When they ask why (because of course they always do) I simply say that no good can come of it.

    If you can name one good reason to go, then go. I can think of at least 5 reasons not to go off the top of my head.

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    I prefer my man not come in. We've been together 10 years and we are swingers, and I still prefer that element to not walk through the door. When I'm at work, I am a different person who is emotionally removed. If my man walked through the door, I would become my daytime mommy and wife persona. Total hustle buzz. If you want to see her with the lights and pole, you can always buy a removable pole and put it in your room.

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Never been a problem. In fact, if it's a slow night I've gone up to the stage and given her a wad of cash, hopefully inspiring the cheapasses in Perverts' Row to start tipping her.

    She'd come sit with me at the bar (my usual spot) when she could, and Id hand her a $20 or $50 every so often so her time isn't wasted with me.

    The only part that might be hard for you to deal with is watching her with other guys. Either you can deal with it, or you can't. If you can't, you better just stay away from the club and don't ask questions. Hell, you probably shouldn't even be dating her.

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    I say bad idea. For everything Madcap said about it.
    Plus, as the performer, I don't think I could take constructive criticism from my SO. I can take any guy at the club telling me I did something wrong or not good enough, but if my SO told me I was dancing to far, too close, too anything... I'd get super uncomfortable.



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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Okay my take on this:
    We are at work to work. Not play. It sucks having someone in that you really, really want to hang out with and can't. Or if you lack will power, going home with nothing because you played with your boyfriend all night.

    and.
    Really. Rejection is a part of this business. Why would anyone want their SO to watch them getting turned down? This would be worse for me than them watching me get accepted and groped.

    And by the way - no sane girl wants her boyfriends money. At least not in that context. Paying for her time is just embarrassing for everyone.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    And by the way - no sane girl wants her boyfriends money. At least not in that context. Paying for her time is just embarrassing for everyone.
    Time is money, and if you're taking up her time you should give her money. Friend, GF, whatever. In my experience, the money I spent Friday night would be spent on me Sunday afternoon. Even if that didn't happen, I don't care. It's just money.

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Yeah, I agree with Jenny. I wouldn't want my SO giving me money. I'd feel kind of like a prostitute. Let a stranger give your girl money. That just kind of weirds me out personally. Of course, that's just my opinion.

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Quote Originally Posted by showgirlschloe
    Yeah, I agree with Jenny. I wouldn't want my SO giving me money. I'd feel kind of like a prostitute. Let a stranger give your girl money. That just kind of weirds me out personally. Of course, that's just my opinion.

    I'd rather keep my money in my pocket, but I feel bad when I know she only has a few hours to make her money and she's sitting at the bar with me instead of hustling. I don't like feeling as if I took money out of someone's pocket that I care about.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    I can see that you are trying to be considerate. But this is an excellent reason for boyfriends to stay out of their girlfriends clubs - which was my original point. That way the girl can hustle and make her money, and the boyfriend can see her after work just like any other couple without paying her for her company. If you want to support your girlfriend, I figure you might as well do it directly, without having her prance around a club in lingere and heels. If you don't, then take her to dinner and movie and buy her the occasional gift rather than slipping 20's into her garter.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    I can see that you are trying to be considerate. But this is an excellent reason for boyfriends to stay out of their girlfriends clubs - which was my original point. That way the girl can hustle and make her money, and the boyfriend can see her after work just like any other couple without paying her for her company. If you want to support your girlfriend, I figure you might as well do it directly, without having her prance around a club in lingere and heels. If you don't, then take her to dinner and movie and buy her the occasional gift rather than slipping 20's into her garter.
    OK I see your point.

    But I still like to watch her prance around in lingerie and heels.

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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hef
    OK I see your point.

    But I still like to watch her prance around in lingerie and heels.
    If you can watch her dance in the senario JZ described above and it doesnt create any wierdness for you or her (and impact her money in a negative way) then I guess no harm no foul. Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with it but thats just me.

    FBR
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    Default Re: Visiting My Girl @ the Club?

    What will you do when a guy makes a play for your girl and you are there and have had a little too much to drink? What will you do when when you overhear guys talk about how great things were with your girl in the VIP room? How will you react if she has too many drinks and appears, in your view, to be overly friendly with a customer who is better looking and flashing lots of cash? Can you keep cool when other guys start groping your girl? I know I could not ignore any of this and would stay away.

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