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Thread: From breastfeeding--kids in public

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    Default From breastfeeding--kids in public

    I didn't want to get way off topic, so with apologies to Nicolina, some thoughts on kids in public places:

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolina
    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward
    I'm not hostile towards children, they just annoy me, especially on planes when they kick your seat, throw toys, run up and down the aisles, or cry incessantly. Of course, the first three are pretty much the parents' fault, so yes, I am hostile towards parents who ignore that behavior.

    People without children often think this way....until they have kids and realize that children are born with personalities and wills of their own. They're not blank slates, and no matter how wonderful your parenting skills may be, they sometimes misbehave.
    I know children misbehave (no, really?), but most parents will say or do something when this happens. What bothers me is the parent who just ignores the behavior and doesn't do anything about it, sitting there smiling while the kid runs rampant. There used to be two little kids living next door to me who would come over and bang on my door, play in my yard and mess with my shit. When I went to talk to their mom, the little boy actually slapped her on the ass with impunity and she made absolutely no corrective motion towards him. I ended up padlocking my gate since I figured those parents weren't going to do shit.

    I have no problem with kids being in public, but as a proudly child-free person who still willingly supports public programs for kids, I think at least a token effort from the parent is called for.

    You guys might all be terrific and caring parents who make an effort to teach your children what is and is not acceptable public behavior, but this is definitely not the case with everyone. I've got a couple of good friends teaching in public schools right now and it is just amazing how poorly socialized some of their young charges are. And really, you have to blame parents for this, because when it comes to social behavior, children are blank slates and they mimic the behaviors they observe and are taught. While it might be instinctual to breastfeed or throw a tantrum, manners and social boundaries have to be taught. No, not everything a child does can be controlled, but an effort? This is a parent's obigation.

    Also, what's up with parents taking really small children to R-rated movies?

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Parents can take small children into an R movie? I thought they couldn't do that!

    I understand where you are coming from, Susan...I've seen it hundreds of times in my daughter's play groups. Parents just let their kids run wild and never correct their behavior. While I use play groups to help my daughter learn to be around other people...I also make sure she is learning that some behavior is not acceptable. It's very frustrating to have little Johnny hitting other children and his mom just looks over, laughs, and says, "Boys will be boys."

    But, I think the majority of the States has working parents, so most kids are just raising themselves...or their being born to parents who raised themselves and think that's the way to do it.

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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Well, Susan, I'm glad you raised this topic. I had a similar experience w/my next door neighbors, & their little girl she's about 9. I tried to be cool about it, I gave her some toys, tried to be nice, etc. She ended up stealing some soda from my deck, (among other things)I prev. posted about it, asking if I should call family services, Venus aptly pointed out that would probaly be worse (she'd be placed in a foster home that might have worse conditions). I settled for sending a note to police dept. stating young children are out way late, unsupervised. Several weeks ago, I was trying to take a nap after work, she banged on my door (not the 1st time for this) & actually asked me for milk & eggs. Not once, not nicely, but very persistantly, until I said, "NO". Other neighbors have expressed concern, I talked to property mgr., since she was repeatedly coming over & the mgr said, "you can't force anyone to be a good parent". I will rarely use the access road ways, since kids ride their bikes on 'em, & don't see or want to see the cars. Last yr., I gave her mother a ride to pick the kid up from summer school, & SHE DID NOT KNOW HOW TO GET THERE?!!!!


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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    The movie theater closest to my house has a "no children under 12" policy after like....7pm or so. I think it's brilliant. And I do agree.....I loathe the type of parents who just stand around while their kids run riot. About 2 weeks ago I had my twins (3 1/2) at a nice park nearby, and this little boy around the same age came over and they were talking like kids do, and all the sudden he just punched one of my girls in the face! AND HIS MOTHER LAUGHED. Now, I know kids will be kids etc etc, but she laughed! WTF IS THAT? Ugh. That, and we went to an asian buffet place the other day and this family was in there, maybe 5 kids all under 10 years old, and the older 3 were running amok around the place the entire time we were there. Not once did either of the parents get up and say anything to them, just sat there talking and eating and ignoring them. Hi, get a babysitter, thanks.
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    OMG, that's HORRIBLE, MR C!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Whatever happened to those little leashes that parents used to use?
    The ones that go around the kid's wrist?
    At least then they wouldn't run around like crazy. I can't stand parents that let their kids just go like that. In fact last night when I was at Blockbuster picking out movies, the manager came over and yelled at ME because some little girl was opening bags of cheetos and running around dumping them all over. She dumped the last bag near my feet and the manager told me to calm my child and please clean up. I was like, "Ummm, never seen the kid before in my life!"
    Geez.



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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    You said childfree! You said childfree! Another childfree stripper? YAaaaay!

    Okay, now that that's over...

    I dislike kids, unless their parents DO SOMETHING about their damn behavior.

    When I was in Arkansas, though, the kids there were the NICEST DAMN KIDS ever! Please and thank you and may I's all around. Loooooved the kids in Arkansas. Which makes me wonder about parenting in general.

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    Member jessie12354's Avatar
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    childfree here too.

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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Quote Originally Posted by jessie12354
    childfree here too.
    Ditto. Thank god.
    I can't handle children.



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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Susan:
    LOVE this post!

    Ok all, funny this subject came up because I've been DYING to actually make this invention:

    So how annoying are kids on airplanes? I understand that little babies can't help it, so yes, we must all deal with it. But the older ones? JEEZ. See ALL the above posts, I don't have the energy to repeat everything.

    Here is my invention: A plastic bubble helmet that attaches to their clothing, soundproof. The child/babie can scream and wail about as he/she/it pleases, and no one is bothered! This would be perfect for little babies as well. And then there would be a 'hose' coming from the top of the helmet which would then attach to the ceiling of the airplane, therefore giving the kid oxygen as well as letting out the sounds into the air (outside the plane, of course)-

    The second option, would be a restriction where ALL parents with kids on board MUST fly a kid-friendly airplane. I mean, shit, if I had a choice of whether I wanted to be on a plane with adults or kids, and there was only like a $50 difference in ticket price, I'd be paying that $50 to be on the adult airplane AND keep my sanity.
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    I have a great example of unruly children. I have two of my own but they behave, so since they behave and they know how to act in public they get to go out to dinner, etc with my SO and myself. Now this past weekend we went to a popular mexican restaurant chain Acapulco's since my four yearold wanted to go out to eat for her birthday. My SO saw a big party seating in the restaurant when we got there so we asked to have a table away from them. We sat down ordered ate some chips and dip, while children from the big party started walking by, then running by, then playing tag right next to our table. Now the party itself started to get loud and probably most likely drunk while they let their children run around. This little boy maybe 3 or 4 walked by stopped at our table and looked at our food. My daughter, who is now 4, looks at him and says go sit down, this is ours. The waiter comes by to ask us how everything is and we complain, he just looked at us and said sorry. I went to the bathroom and these kids were running in and out. Completely unsupervised. Finally the shit hit the fan when my SO got a hot plate of fajitas (steaming hot) with one of those fire lite warmers and one of the children came running by while another one tackled this kid into our table. That was the last straw, my SO took both kids by the hands (both of the kids faces lost color) brought them to their parents and told them well ripped them a new asshole about letting their children run crazy and ruin other people's dinners. It was awesome the rest of the dinner there was no sound from their party. I can't stand parents that let their kids run wild anywhere cause they use the excuse that they are too burned out or tired so they just let them do what they want. My children are behaved.
    Another child behavior that I don't get is the children that hit their parents or cuss at them and the parent does nothing. One time at Whole Foods this lady was literally getting told off and hit by her child... she just ignored it, but the child kept on hitting and yelling at her. Adults were just looking at her like um do something. I was shocked at what was coming out of this childs mouth.

    I may have many faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.

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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Ok, so what do you do when the kid is somewhat related to you?
    My bf has a son, who lives in another city (they NEVER see each other, like MAYBE once a year). At a family event last month, the kid and his mother were there. She was bitching about wanting to go with her friends and having nowhere for the kids to go. My bf said he wished he could but "tonight would be tough" because the kid didn't have clothes and we had like a 2 hour drive back home. Then he offered to take the kid for a week sometime this summer. WTF?! Hello? I know it isn't mine, but he admits that he never wanted it either. She was artificially inseminated while they were married for christ's sake. Anyhow, this kid is just awful. Runs around. Refuses to eat anything except McDonald's chicken nuggets (although his mother is thrilled he finally graduated to the double cheeseburger), and has no respect for anything what so ever. What the hell do I do!?



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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    I knowit's hard for parents to control their kids ( I used to babysit and some kids DON"T listen.)
    But I think that if your kid is a renowned brat then don't embarrass yourself and upset others by taking them out. When my younger brother started acting up in public my mom stoppped taking him out to the places he would act up in. She wasn't going to stand for it and that's just how it went.
    I think that there should be a different part of buses, trains and planes meant especially for children and their parents. We can't play a loud stereo so why should a screaming child be treated any different? I fI can't bring my well behaved, clean and cute dogs on public transportation why should someone be able to bring their kids?
    I have low tolerance for kids that misbehave, but love the ones that are great.
    I babysat twins that were three and these children were PERFECT. We went out to dinner and of course no servers wanted us since we had kids with us. These children ate quietly, no screaming or running around, and underneath their seats were SPOTLESS, no mess at all.
    There are great kids out there and I love parents that know how to raise them, it's the parents that don't know what to do or don't care about others that drive me nuts.
    I don't care if any breast feeds in public, I can look away. But I HATE noise violations, and children are definitely at the top of that list.
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    Featured Member Muyaha's Avatar
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Quote Originally Posted by hardkandee
    , this kid is just awful. Runs around. Refuses to eat anything except McDonald's chicken nuggets (although his mother is thrilled he finally graduated to the double cheeseburger), and has no respect for anything what so ever. What the hell do I do!?
    Great he'll be a fat awfully behaved child.

    I may have many faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.

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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Quote Originally Posted by Muyaha
    Great he'll be a fat awfully behaved child.
    Honey, he's not quite 10 and outweighs me by a good 30lbs.



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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Okay, so we all agree that parents should do something about their unruly kids, right? Well, I had a problem in Walmart a couple of months ago when my son was acting up. He kept screaming and hitting my hands. So, like everyone here say I should do, I made the attempt to discipline (not hit of course) my son. Do you know some old lady gave me the dirtiest look for it? So, can I win? It doesn't seem that way.

    On another note. My husband an I manage an apartment complex, so I totally understand the unruly kid thing. I tell the kids around here all the time, do not run up and down people steps, don't ride your bike in the parking lot, don't pull out the flowers. When I catch them doing it I tell them to go home. Their parents send them right back outside, so I have to go explain to the parents they are not aloud to play in the courtyard and they just don't listen. It's like a constant battle. Then the kids ring my doorbell all day telling on each other. I always tell them, go tell their parents, what do you want me to do about it. Drives me nuts these kids.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Quote Originally Posted by gypsy_girlchild
    I knowit's hard for parents to control their kids ( I used to babysit and some kids DON"T listen.)
    This is where most parents get stuck. I've had all out battles with my daughter. She wanted something but couldn't have it? She'd throw the most amazing temper tantrum. The first couple times she did that I was completely thrown off guard. But, I quickly learned that to not DO anything about their tantrums is to encourage it. Now, if she starts to throw a temper tantrum, I just look at her sternly and say, "As soon as you are done there, you've got a time out." She hates time outs and it will usually stop the temper tantrum cold...but, she still gets the time out. After her time out, we'll discuss her actions and why they are not acceptable. "It's ok to feel angry that you cannot have something right now...but it is NOT acceptable to throw a temper tantrum." I'll give her ways/words to express her feelings...but will absolutely NOT tolerate a temper tantrum.

    Parenting is not a passive event...and most people feel like they just need to let the kids go to be kids...I believe that in order to have a kid be a kid...you have to give them boundaries and rules. It's an active role and not everyone is cut out for it.

    As for the other children coming to your door asking for food...that's a toughie because you cannot make their parents be better parents...but at that point, it's clear that the child's basic, life needs are NOT being met. That's a tough situation...although I would also like to add...even though that child is not your responsibility, sometimes when you reach out to a child and show them that there are others who care about them...it makes a world of difference. They learn that the world is not a dog eat dog world and that they can depend on others to get love, attention, and all that. I agree that it does take a village to raise a child.

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    Featured Member Muyaha's Avatar
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Quote Originally Posted by hardkandee
    Honey, he's not quite 10 and outweighs me by a good 30lbs.
    OH WOW. By the time the kid is 15 he'll be ready to sumo wrestle.

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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    As long as a parents is NOT hitting a child, displinary measures are FINE by me.
    I have friend that works in the children's department in Old Navy, of course this doesn't help her disinterest in children. there are parents that will smack and forcibly spank their children in front of her. I'm sure it's awful to watch.
    I've watched parents haul off children to the car if they misbehave in stores, the parents usually has a friend or partner with them so they pay for the items. I guess the best thing to do is use the buddy system when it comes to kids. Kind of like what I do when I want to go into a store but I want to walk my dogs there.
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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    After her time out, we'll discuss her actions and why they are not acceptable. "It's ok to feel angry that you cannot have something right now...but it is NOT acceptable to throw a temper tantrum." I'll give her ways/words to express her feelings...but will absolutely NOT tolerate a temper tantrum.
    Have you been watch supernanny? or nanny 911? I try all that with my son and he laughs at me. He has his dad in him.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Quote Originally Posted by showgirlschloe
    Okay, so we all agree that parents should do something about their unruly kids, right? Well, I had a problem in Walmart a couple of months ago when my son was acting up. He kept screaming and hitting my hands. So, like everyone here say I should do, I made the attempt to discipline (not hit of course) my son. Do you know some old lady gave me the dirtiest look for it? So, can I win? It doesn't seem that way.
    It all comes down to doing what is best for your kids. I've had people give me dirty looks, and I completely ignore them. I'm not concerned about them, I am concerned about teaching my daughter what is acceptable and what is not. My daughter got completely out of line one time at the store...over the top...and I timed her out against a wall in the kids department. People were looking at me like I was a mean bitch...another time she was screaming her head off because I wouldn't buy her some toy while we were in the check-out line...and I left the line, took her to the bathroom and gave her a spanking (1 swat) and then explained why her behavior was unacceptable. It's not what kind of punishment you give your child (within reason) but your ability to be consistent with it. Others don't like what you're doing? That's fine...they don't have to...but you're main job is to instill that your child knows unacceptable behavior has consequences no matter where you are...

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Venus, that was a GREAT response! I know kids are tough just by babysitting them and I say this because I would watch them many days a month and watched a few grow up. The ones that acted out received a "talking-to" by me and they NEVER liked that. I allowed them to have their anger spells about things they didn't think were fair. BUT if they hit me or someone else they were severely reprimanded, sent to their room until their parents came home and then the shit hit the fan. I was there with the parents when they talked to the kids and I mean TALKED.
    I listened to the kids and the parents did as well. They received the attention they needed and were rewarded if they were extra good, with hugs or a book or something THEY want to do. I love kids, I don't have any of my own, but the good ones are a blessing sometimes.
    It's the little demons that drive me nuts and I no longer think of them as children, but mini adults that set out to ruin my day.
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Absolutely good points Venus. Sometimes you get lost in the world that is your child and it always helps to reteach yourself how to handle them.

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    Veteran Member SthnrnGrl77's Avatar
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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    oh yeah - and when the kid acts like a PITA at school or wherever, it's automatically ADHD ! johnny can't possibly simply be a brat, he has to have a diagnosis (excuse!)

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    Default Re: From breastfeeding--kids in public

    Quote Originally Posted by SthnrnGrl77
    oh yeah - and when the kid acts like a PITA at school or wherever, it's automatically ADHD ! johnny can't possibly simply be a brat, he has to have a diagnosis (excuse!)
    Oh that doesn't end in childhood. I can give you lists of hundreds of names of kids who try to pull that at my university. Once they play the "I've got a learning disability/ADD" card, they get someone else to take their notes and double time to take tests.



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