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Thread: Custy asked me out

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    Veteran Member luvbuniz's Avatar
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    Default Custy asked me out



    A very cute custy asked me out. We didn't dance at the club, only talked but I just don't want to be a stripper conquest.

    He's just the kind of guy I would date outside of work. My friends say no. Is it just generally not a good idea to date custys?

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    Quote Originally Posted by luvbuniz


    A very cute custy asked me out. We didn't dance at the club, only talked but I just don't want to be a stripper conquest.

    He's just the kind of guy I would date outside of work. My friends say no. Is it just generally not a good idea to date custys?
    You do get some friendships/relationships being formed between dancers/customers - (I'll plead guilty to some OTC friendships I really value) - but it's rare.

    Unfortunately, "dating the dancer" is a fantasy most customers have, and probably 99% of the requests you'll get for dates will fall into this category - it's the dancer they want to date, not you as a person.

    Is this guy in the 1% category? I can't offer advice cos there's not a lot of information in your post - but I guess some of your fellow dancers will pitch in wth their thoughts shortly.

    Phil.

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    Veteran Member luvbuniz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    He's a young corporate type about the same age as me. When we talked it wasn't flirtatious, we just talked about traveling experiences.



    He sent me a very sweet text message saying that he hoped I had a safe ride home and when he called me tommorow, he said he wanted to call me on my day off to chat.

    I really like him but just a little afraid that I'll be treated as a conquest and end up getting hurt.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    ^ So don't let him conquer you...for a while. Besides, he's not your customer--you already noted that.



    Approach it in a more traditional dating fashion to determine his intentions and interest level, and see if it meshes with your own. Every veteran dancer here will tell you not to date customers--and it's good advice. But almost every one of those same veterans can tell you when they decided to take up a customer on an offer for OTC activity, and sometimes it works out very well.



    Proceed with caution, pretty lady.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Member prairie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    generally, yeah.. it can be a bad idea.

    but, you never know. just be safe (like you would with anyone you don't really know) and it could work out. i've known girls who've married guy's they met while dancing.

    it seems that if they're not regulars it's not quite as awkward/impossible. the relationship isn't already defined.

  6. #6
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    NOOOOO, do not date custies.

    This is a more common mistake than dancers are willing to admit. Would you be as willing to see him if you just met him in a regular dance club, and he saw you in clubbing clothes? Maybe then..but it would be just as likely that things wouldn't work out either.....

    I have NEVER had an OTC friendship go smoothly. Once he's seen you naked it's too late to hope for "normal." They're in there for a reason. They're CUSTOMERS.

    Not judging. Good luck hon.

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    Okay. going to play devils advocate here.

    So, you are thinking of dating a customer. First off, this man has seen you naked, or at least somewhat naked. Bad idea? Youbetcha! Most guys are pigs and spend ninety percent of their waking hours figuring out ways to try and get nubile young women into bed.

    Secondly - your co-workers will think less of you if you do. Because why? Well, of course you are going to tell your friends at work about this cute guy you met 'at the club' and well he asked you out.

    Yes, yes, I know, I sound cynical. Perhaps even bitter, but listen to the voice of experience honey. Don't do it. I would hate to see your little heart get broken and then on top of it have your co-workers whispering things about you being the easy girl at work.

    Is he nice? Is he sweet, well of course, he is trying to get into your pants! Duh.. a thought provoking and intellectual conversation at work dosent mean hes dating material. Even a second same as before sort of convo. You can meet cute guys at the supermarket for Pete's sake, there is so much baggage attached to dating a guy from your job it's not even funny. Please don't.

    Just my two cents worth from the usually unpopular voice of experience.
    Miss R.

    PS. Guys note I said MOST, some guys are actually pretty cool.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    hi have dated and befreinded a few custmers in my time let me tell you most of them our assholes i had 3 good experinces with guys that are good friends now and were worth my time all the rest were crap. If you think he is truley worth a shot the worst that can happend is that you find out he is a jerk. Take a chance.

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    Veteran Member luvbuniz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    He's going to call me on my day off. I understand why it's a bad idea to date custies. Though any guy can be a jerk. I've met guys at parties and through friends of friends and they turned out to be assholes.

    Bottom line is.. If I don't take that chance, then I'll never know if he's the 1% decent guy or another jerk.

    I'll report back in a few days.

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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    Quote Originally Posted by luvbuniz
    He's going to call me on my day off. I understand why it's a bad idea to date custies. Though any guy can be a jerk. I've met guys at parties and through friends of friends and they turned out to be assholes.

    Bottom line is.. If I don't take that chance, then I'll never know if he's the 1% decent guy or another jerk.

    I'll report back in a few days.
    Just make sure you and he agree on some ground rules first. Like - first date is friendly only while you make up your mind. Like - if you start dating, he stays out of where you work. Like, etc., etc.

    I know of some very affectionate friendships, and some long lasting relationships between dancers and men who've first met them as customers, but they tend to be the exception rather than the rule.

    Last and not least, make 100% sure that it's you he likes, and not your dancer persona.

    That said, best of luck and hope things go well.

    Phil.

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    It's not a good idea to date a customer,like most others said,but if you choose to go ahead and try this guy,do so with caution,keep your distance,and don't open up to him right away.If he has genuine good intentions towards you,he'll go out of his way to gain your trust and respect.

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    Senior Member Underestimated's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    Young corporate type? Terrible! I mean, he might have work ethics and goals. You wouldn't want to take part in that! He might have a college degree! What the hell are you thinking? He talked to you about travel and didn't buy a dance? The friggin' nerve of this guy having a nice conversation instead of latching onto your tits! What a friggin' ass for wishing you a safe ride home.
    Okay, enough sarcasm. Even if he doesn't turn out to be the man of your dreams... It's better than dating the guy from Walmart. Plus he already knows what you do for a living, so that conversation won't have to happen. Oh yeah, and he has his own money, so he probably won't be sucking off of yours. Who cares where you met him? I don't see a conflict of interest if he wasn't buying dances in the first place.

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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    No this is not a good idea. A few conversations cant gauge how this guy is out of the club.

    Just a note: Guys say nice things to get into your pants all the time. Although hey may be genuine only YOU can use your gut to tell.

    But, please if you do see this person OTC (which it seems you already are) be on your gaurd. Guys that go to SC to pick up chics are all backwards imo and w/o spending a flippen dime on you too!! If he knows youre at work he should make it worth your time dances or no dances. For your safety I hope he is a nice guy. Just please PLEASE dont give out any personal info (ie what part of town you live, last name, etc).
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    A few short convos was all it took for a guy in the club to get your phone number and be able to text you?

    I hope things turn out for the best, but in the future you may want to think safety first and be a little more careful in offering up personal info.

    He may actually be honest and be what he says, or he may be using a false front in the SC. Dancers are not the only ones who come up with different personalities in the SC.

    BTW - the not buying a dance routine is strait out of the "How to Date A Dancer" manuel (honestly, there is a book with this title and this the is the #1 rule). It maybe and probably is coincidence but tred carefully.

    -----------------------------------------------
    EDITED TO ADD LINK......

    http://www.howtodateanexoticdancer.com/home.asp

    Prolly not related but just FYI.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Veteran Member luvbuniz's Avatar
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    Re: Custy asked me out

    Update:

    We had a late coffee break and chatted for ages. The chemistry is great and he understands that I want to take it slowly.

    I'm not going to give out my number anymore because I already have what I want

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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    As a nice guy who has met some very nice women at clubs- why not give him a shot? I hate guys who are only after one thing as much as anyone- as they give guys like me a bad name- but maybe he's a good guy?

    I go to clubs sometime and enjoy talking to the women there. Then again, I am in LA and there is nowhere else to go to have a decent conversation with a woman.

    I dunno, maybe I'm weird- but I never saw any dancer as a conquest and have quite a few that I have become friends with outside of the club.

    (maybe this is why I never get laid? Ha)

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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    Im just happy youre safe.
    I hate to sound like such a mom...be carefull even still.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  18. #18
    Veteran Member stant's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    Quote Originally Posted by standupguy
    ...I am in LA and there is nowhere else to go to have a decent conversation with a woman....

  19. #19
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    good for you! (giving him a chance)

    I wish you the best! Just because hes a customer of the club's, does not mean he is a bad guy

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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    Congratulations, you went against the tide



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    Veteran Member luvbuniz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out



    He called me tonight to hope I had a good night. It was his first time at the strip club so he's not a regular. I've been really careful with my dealings with him. He doesn't know my address or my personal details.

    So far so good...

  22. #22
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    There are a few diamonds in the rough.

    Or so the saying goes anyway.

  23. #23
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Custy asked me out

    Just because hes a customer of the club's, does not mean he is a bad guy
    Yeah, damn it!

    Sometimes I even shower that week before I go the club!

    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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