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Thread: smelly balls

  1. #1
    Curious Guest
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    Default smelly balls

    i hate when guys will adjust themselves and then put their hand on me right after! sometimes i can smell their balls and i almost want to gag. how do i avoid this situation??

  2. #2
    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Possible solutions:

    1) Stick a Vicks Inhaler up each of your nostrils.*

    2) Lobby for an Ionic Breeze machine in the LD area.

    3) Produce a can of foamy hand sanitizer and pretend like you're dispensing whipped cream.

    4) Let him play with himself as long as his hands are downwind from your nose.

    On the other hand, you might have to settle for repositioning his hands as far away from your nose as possible or default to an air dance. If he still wants another after that, excuse yourself to the dressing room to "fix a problem I'm having," a.k.a. sponging off the stench.

    -Ev

    * Note the impact of using the Vicks Inhaler on drug test results. See this page for an explanation.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    "You'd better not touch me with that hand until you wash it. I know where it's been."

  4. #4
    Pamela
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Smelly balls? Lol. These guys must be naked and sweaty.....Smelly balls?

  5. #5
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    you no like eau de musk? haha


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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Rotfl!

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    ::dry heaves:: LOL

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Okay, first off, why in the world is a grown man adjusting himself - in front of you for one and secondly in public? WTF is this, the baseball field? Nononononono, that is disgusting and just plan out nasty. Barf!

    Miss R.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member Heaven777's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    HURL! I swear that is one of the nastiest smells ever... The only way to avoid that happening is not to let the dude touch you. ::GAG::
    If everything you try is a sure thing, you aren't taking enough risks. If you never fail, you put a limit on the degree to which you can succeed. In short, the only way to win big is to risk losing

  10. #10
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    I winder if any of these guys are aquainted with a friend of mine named SOAP!

  11. #11
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    So, is he asjusting under or over his pants? If under, tell himthis is a no no! If it's over, wow that's one stinky man and maybe you shouldn't be rubbing up against him any way.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  12. #12
    Pamela
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Quote Originally Posted by gypsy_girlchild
    So, is he asjusting under or over his pants? If under, tell himthis is a no no! If it's over, wow that's one stinky man and maybe you shouldn't be rubbing up against him any way.
    Right. I mean this must be some major stink.

    Pamela

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    Default Re: smelly balls

    I am LMAO @ this thread.

    Unfortunately ... sad but true! YIKES!

  14. #14
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    You folk have GOT to be fucking kidding me! You have GOT to be!

    Guys not only go the the strip club without bathing (a phenomenon i have heard of) but they don't bathe (another oddity) but they also reach theit hands down their pants to move themselves...




    Here. Tell him this (at the end of a dance you don't a repeat of) "Most guys i'm used to are big enough to reach themselves from the front not the top."

  15. #15
    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Bender : Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts? It's pretty tasty.
    Claire : (Sarcastically) No thank you.
    Bender : Oh Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this?
    Claire : Can't you just leave me alone?
    Bender : I mean even if he had a nice personality and a cool car... although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because his nuts would ride shotgun

  16. #16
    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    PJ: Clerks! Huzzah.

    Who reaches their hand down their pants to adjust their sweaty goatcheese smellin' chode while in the presence of a lovely young lady? Narsty.

    In our defense, however, dear ladies, sweaty end-of-day vag ain't exactly april-fresh, either. Though you probably have more tact than to reach your hand down there and root around for truffles in public.
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

  17. #17
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    That's one of those things I now know about the VIP that I wish I didn't--the fact that so many geeks will actually reach in their pants and adjust themselves without hesitation to ensure maximal grinding stimulation.

    Yet another reason why I would love to see the stripping industry eventually dispose of the need for grinding VIP dances, not that this is likely to happen.

    In my club, as well as in some presumeably top-end 'upscale' clubs, this is not all that outrageous--though reeking testicles of course must always be considered so, lol.

    Tonight I went to take a leak during work and there was a fucking condom in the urinal--no doubt used at the minumum inside some pervert's pants, if not more extensively--which was most disgusting. Of course I immediately forgot all about it when I got back to the booth. I never think about that shit, I have too much else to do.

    I'd love to see you spray the fucker down with some sort of industrial pressurized deodarant machine and then do the dance, haha...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  18. #18
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Sheesh! This is jsut too funny!

    .....in a disgusting kind of way.


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  19. #19
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Stinkyness is always my greatest fear, my stuff is clean dearies, always. There's tons of sprays, wipes and other assorted do-dads to keep the pink bits clean and sweet smelling. Besides, I don't think anyone that is tactful, as mentioned before is going to be rooting, or otherwise sticking their bits into someones face.
    My two cents worth.

    Miss R.

  20. #20
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    I always manage to read these tasty bits w/morn. coffee. Bleah!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Take along a spray can of Lysol for his hands and for down his pants. Nice cool breeze there. Tell the guy that he MUST bathe those balls every time he intends to go near a woman.

    Some men are just too intensely fragrant to be within 5 feet of them. I ppresume they have lost their sense of smell due to some olfactory defect, a personality defect, or an excess of alcohol, crystal meth, crack, hydrocodone or possibly some legitimate medication. It is my observation that the public has pretty much lost its ethics, decency, politeness, hygiene, and care for others.

    I would like to say that a few dancers do not wash well, or need a touchup during their shifts too. But this is much less common than the situation described.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz
    I always manage to read these tasty bits w/morn. coffee. Bleah!
    ROFL!!!

  23. #23
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Perhaps your men with "smelly balls" have been reading the usual blah, blah adverts for supposed ways to improve your chances of attracting women. I quote from the "Mephisto" site.

    "The male sex pheromone is created by your testicles and is vented into the air with your sweat! When you shower you wash off the pheromones and when you use a deodorant with a chemical designed to close the pores under your arms, you have made yourself Sexually Invisible!

    "The MEPHISTO male pheromone colognes contain high levels of male sex pheromones that replace your own naturally produced pheromones that you have washed off or blocked with deodorants. Remember, Women Need to smell Male Pheromones to be Sexually Stimulated Properly."

    So, there you go. Dab a $19.95 product on your balls, don't shower and strippers will be throwing themselves at your feet.

    Phil.

  24. #24
    God/dess Miss Jessica's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Ewwww. Glad to say that has never happened to me!
    "We all must suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. In order to achieve what others don't, you have to do what others won't."


  25. #25
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: smelly balls

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W
    So, there you go. Dab a $19.95 product [MEPHISTO male pheromone cologne] on your balls, don't shower and strippers will be throwing themselves at your feet.

    Phil.
    Got news for you. The strippers will be fainting, not throwing themselves. Or perhaps throwing up!
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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