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Thread: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

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    Default Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    So ladies - just for fun.

    If you could describe your theoretical customer from hell in a couple of paragraphs, how would you describe him?

    Feel free to "mix and match" characteristics from real-life customers to come up with a description of the worst nightmare of a customer you could conceive walking through the door of a strip club.

    Phil.

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    Smell bad. Not to mention BO, but that I just got off from work and I'm a mechanic sort of funk. Silky shorts or the shiny sort of slippery work out pants, so that when you do a dance for him his little weenie will stab you in the butt, constantly..

    Drunk, on whatever. Hand'sy, always trying to go into the no no zone. Asking for extras and trying to push the limits of what you will do on your dances, not to mention, Condescending, arrogant and generally pompous with that better than you attitude.

    Asking for me to go home with him or meet him at his room for X amount of cash.. usually it's fifty to a hundred tops, as he is cheap. Throwing up on me would be bad, also busting a nut on my ass would be the ultimate worst.

    Miss R

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    All the usual characteristics... smells bad, gropes, drinks too much, tries to get me to go home with them, tries for extras, etc...

    But beyond that, what really bugs me, and its honestly the majority of customers I've experienced, is the flat out denial that a) what I do is a REAL job and ISNT easy, and b) that what I do is any less than art. I'm not saying that all dancers are artists. I'm not saying that ALL dancers work super hard. What I'm saying is that I -specifically- am a hard working dance artist. Dont stereotype me, see me for me. Respect me for me.

    Bastid.
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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    Ah yes, the guy that tries to argue with me that my 'job' is not a 'real job' and that I am wasting myself in this profession.. to insinuate that I am first off, not intelligent enough to maintain or hold down a "real job" or even for that matter am I bright enough to function in the day to day world.

    Of course since he is a man and his expertise is all encompassing.. bah.
    Thank goodness not all custys are like that. Little rays of sunshine they are.. yay!

    Miss R.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    That super hot, sexy guy. Especially if he has a great personality too. I end up spending waaaay too much time drooling over him, and I get no work done! I recently wasted half a shift in this situation, and the rest of the customers just assumed that he was my boyfriend. It is even worse for me if he wants dances, because I get all clumsy, and probably will get myself in trouble by going too far.

    Hell, I'm human and have my moments of lust that cloud my mind just like the guys.

    Sure, the guys with BO, the cheap guys, and the guys trying to get extras and hookers are annoying, but I simply charge them extra. A kind of "putting-up-with-your-crap" fee.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    Dragon breath havin, non-stop spray/blow talkin, thin short sportin, I'm-a-DOCTOR-and-I've-got-3-fancy-houses-and-5-fancy-cars-and-I-wanna-take-you-away-from-all-this bullshit braggin, loud-mouth heavy drinkin, I-don't-go-to-THESE-places, one-dance buyin, actin like it KILLS him to hand over the money for one goddam dance piece of shit who tells me my job isn't a fucken job and thinks if he pulls this shit on enough strippers, one of us will fall for it and fuck him for free.

    Yes I've had guys who did ALL of the above!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Featured Member rusdancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    All the same classic examles:body odor,bad breath,dirty clothes,dirty hands,grabby,telling you how to do your job,asking you "So,what do you do for a living?",or "What do you do during the day?",or "You must sleep all day long if you work all night long!" ( I get up at 830am every day,even after working untill 3am),"I'm staying at the (such and such) hotel","I would love to take you to dinner/movie/vacation/whatever","Let me see your tits","Bend over so I can see".And one of my favorites,comes up to the stage with a 1$ and whispers with rasied eyebrows "I'll give you more if you let me touch you!".

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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    The guy who orders an expensive bottle of champagne, an expensive cigar, sticks a wad of $$$ on the table, tips the cocktail waitress huge(and makes a grand gesture out of it) ...... and then won't buy any dances.

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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    My Worst Customer......by Chloe.

    I would have to say there's plenty of attribute in a customer that does turn me off. For me, the most annoying habits of a customer that gnaws at me would have to be as follows.

    At the top of my list would have to be halitosis (sp?). When I have to give you two pieces of Big Red so I don't puke from your breath, it's time to go to the dentist. I don't care if you've got $5000 in your pocket, I'm gonna find a way to get in and out as fast as possible.

    Next would have to be the guy that throws his hotel key on stage. Yeah, that's classy. Do I like like a prostitute? Am I standing on a corner saying "Hey baby, wanna date?" No. So take your $50 and find some whore to take care of that need.

    Another thing that erks the crap out of me is the guy who asks me what I'm doing in this business. Go bleep yourself. I'm making great money and I work in the bleeping classiest club in town. Oh, and after you try to tell me how I don't belong in this business, dont' ask me to sit on your lap 'cause you wanna get off. Grow up jerk.

    So, last but not least on my list will be Mr. Bachelor Party. Not the bachelor himself, but his drunk friend. The one who is good looking and says he's never been in a strip club before, but somehow knows how to ask for extras. Yeah, we've been on to your game a long time ago. "I don't know the rules, I'm sorry. Oh, you mean I can't grab your crotch?" Would you grab the checkout lady's crotch at the gas station? No? Then don't try to grab mine.

    There's my list. I know there's more I could add, but I'm in the middle of laundry so I gotta stop. Have a great day and happy Strip Clubbing.

  10. #10
    Member Hindsight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    You Might Be My Worst Customer If

    -You try to rub me down with the money you are tipping me with on stage. Sorry but I see no reason for Mr. Washington to be trying to march down the front of my t-bar. Thanks.
    -You ask me "Why dont ya'll have 2 for 1's?" Im looking...looking, nope not a single blue light in sight. Dont worry people mistake this place for K-mart all the time.
    -You throw me a hint that you just decided NOT wear underwear. Well, let me throw you a hint right back... I just decided to go elsewhere. You are the weakest link goodbye.
    Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?

  11. #11
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    A physically violent customer. In my almost five years now of dancing, I have been poked, bitten, grabbed, had an ashtray and beer bottle thrown at me, been verbally threatened, and heckled. Usually the incidences were unprovoked, and I'm a wee slip of a thing.
    (Unluckily for most of these assailants, I'm very vindictive. I've offered bribes to other customers to beat up some assaultive custies. You have been warned.)
    So yeah, this sociopath walks through the door? He should be riding the bouncer's boot stuck up his a*s on the way back out of the club, quick. LOL.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    (Unluckily for most of these assailants, I'm very vindictive. I've offered bribes to other customers to beat up some assaultive custies. You have been warned.)
    LOL. I'd love to be there for something like THAT!

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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    Hey ladies, don't foget the guy who tries to steal your shit while your dancing on one side of the stage and you finnish your set to find your clothes are missing.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    Yeah, but that's still not as overall irritating as the others described above...in fact I kinda find the panty thieves somewhat amusing. heh

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    Well, I don't need to add any more about the "no-money" bad customer, so here's things that will bother me even if he is spending:

    Nonstop tirades about how much this club, the other dancers, this city sucks . . .
    "You mean your husband lets you do this?"
    Asks how much I make
    Will not shut the fuck up, ever, carries on a non-stop monologue
    Smells bad--one guy last week came into the club right after playing soccer, no stop to shower or anything
    Tells me how to do my job, how to dress, what music to dance to

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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    I had a guy last night tell me I had no soul while I was on stage. Does that go in the category of some guy trying to tell me how to do my job? I think he meant "shaking my booty like a sister" soul. Wow, I gave him the biggest guilt trip. He ended up apologizing when I was done with him.

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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    I think the worst are the ones who try and dirty talk you to the extreme. I once had a cutsomer go on and on about how he wanted to be screwed up the butt (he used much worse language), and kept asking me if I wanted to watch, if I've ever done it, if I would do it to him,etc...... I sometimes feel trapped, while I'm dancing for them.

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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    smelly, handsy, stiffs me for the money and then says he got cheated so refuses to pay, and will tell me about how he's dated dancers so he "knows" how it works.
    How what works? We come in, we rub against you for money, a few will pretend to enjoy your company so you give them more money, that's about the gist of being a dancer.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    Well, obvious worst would be a stinky murderer/rapist...but of normal guys-

    Drunken rednecks who try to bargain with me. As was mentioned above- this is not K-Mart!

    Dragon breath havin, non-stop spray/blow talkin, thin short sportin, I'm-a-DOCTOR-and-I've-got-3-fancy-houses-and-5-fancy-cars-and-I-wanna-take-you-away-from-all-this bullshit braggin, loud-mouth heavy drinkin, I-don't-go-to-THESE-places, one-dance buyin, actin like it KILLS him to hand over the money for one goddam dance piece of shit who tells me my job isn't a fucken job and thinks if he pulls this shit on enough strippers, one of us will fall for it and fuck him for free.
    That too

    Feature costumes for sale!

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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    Not that its the worst, but it's bad..... What about these a*holes that want to preach to you, and not in a nice way. They tell you that you are wasting your life and should be ashamed. They would never let someone they love "work in a place like this." " Don't you feel dirty?"

    All the while handing you their money! What a hipocrit! Does this happen to anyone else?
    truth has a liberal bias

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    Veteran Member Clark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    I had a woman do that to me last male amateur night, though she didn't even hand me money.

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    Veteran Member Heaven777's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    what about those guys who ask you to reccomend who (besides you) they should get a dance from?? I've had several guys I've been sitting with turn to me and say..."so which girls in here give good dances?" like I'm gonna give them the inside scoop... IT'S ME, JERK. I'M SITTING HERE GET A DANCE FROM ME! I hate that.
    If everything you try is a sure thing, you aren't taking enough risks. If you never fail, you put a limit on the degree to which you can succeed. In short, the only way to win big is to risk losing

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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Heaven777
    what about those guys who ask you to reccomend who (besides you) they should get a dance from?? I've had several guys I've been sitting with turn to me and say..."so which girls in here give good dances?" like I'm gonna give them the inside scoop... IT'S ME, JERK. I'M SITTING HERE GET A DANCE FROM ME! I hate that.

    LOL!! OMG. Heaven that's hysterical! Guys don't really do that! Say it ain't so. Lie to me if you have to!

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    Veteran Member Clark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    I did ask my ATF for endorsements when she left the club. I think that's different,though.

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    Default Re: Ladies - theoretical worst customer?

    I had my customer from hell tonight. He looks, sounds and acts EXACTLY like my fiance who died of cancer several years ago. I am telling you , it is EERIE! Every time I see him, I have to go sit in the dressing room and cry for about a half hour, then it fucks up my mojo all night. Infortunatley, he is a really, really nice guy, so I can't tell him not to talk to me any more!


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