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Thread: Just can't do it! ;-;

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Just can't do it! ;-;

    I can't seem to ask the big question soon enough. I keep talking to a custy for way too long and never getting a dance. I try to time it by songs and tell myself, "I'll ask before the end of this song" but then it doesn't seem to me like I spent any time with the customer and I feel he'll think I'm just after his money. How do I make a custy feel important enough in 3-10 minutes so that I don't feel 'guilty' asking the question? How do I get over my guilt? Is there anything I can tell myself? My mom said to see it as the '$30 question' but for some reason that doesn't even work.

    Advice?

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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    That's tough. I started timing it by drinks and that seems to work better for me. I wait until I'm done with the cocktail to ask. Usually I'll say something cheesy like, "I gotta get back to work. Do you think these boys can handle a dance from me?" It's low pressure and indirect so they don't feel "hustled".

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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    My first post here, though I've been browsing for a month or so This board has been my biggest help as a stripper!

    I feel your pain. This was a problem of mine for a long time and kind of cut down on the amount of money I could make in a night.

    Usually I time it by drinks, also. If they've bought me a drink, I sip it slowly (About a song--maybe longer than most girls) but I just try to remember that is the time of a lap dance. Surprisingly, I haven't had customers go when I had to abruptly leave the chat to go and make money; most kind of get the hint.

    For me, it was hard to leave at a song, but I had to activly make sure I did it. I would actually think "okay, the girls on Stripperweb say this helps, so I'll do it" and then make myself do it, haha. Mind over matter, I guess.

    The guilt thing is just something to deal with I gues. if they aren't happy enough with you in 3-10 minutes, they'll be another dancer to take your place and maybe she'll be the one.

    I always try to leave the table saying "It was so great talking to you... maybe I'll see you again and we can chat over more drinks!" (We get paid for our drinks at our club, so that helps with that).

    *Haylee M

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    Veteran Member Gerina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    I end the chat right before I know the song is going to end, so I actually walk away after a song (unless it's uber slow). You don't have to ask the first time you talk to him, but it definately raises your odds Just make him feel like you were with him "to take a break" or to mingle, and he feels special enough for the $30 question. Keep returning to him after talking to others, and he'll feel even more special.
    ...and the day came, when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became worse than the risk it took to blossom.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    Forget the guilt. I mean it is sweet, sorta, but misplaced. That's like the waitress feeling guilty for asking if you need a drink. If the guys don't want beautiful women asking them for lapdances they shouldn't be there. Plus there are probably some who will milk you for your time sitting there with no intention of buying... ten minutes seems like a long time unless you were pretty sure he's getting a dance...

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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    I used to feel this way, too. but just like dlabtot said, it's sorta like the waitress feeling guilty for asking if you need a drink. i had a guy that i knew wanted to ask me for a dance tonight, but was too nervous. i know, it was sorta mean, but for my own psychological purposes i was testing him. plus i also recognized him from last week, and i had thought he had been blowing me off. anyhow, think of it has being better that u ask them, because most of the time, they would be too nervous to ask u. also, what do they expect if they are in a strip club? they come there expecting to spend money. they know what they're getting into. many clubs have an admission fee...that is the first giveaway that a trip to the SC is not a free one!! it is paid entertainment! you are doing your job. some people make money by selling clothes, you make urs by selling entertainment. now sell sell sell!! do u think the waitress feels guilty for trying to get you to buy that dessert at Outback Steakhouse?

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    Featured Member Amethyst's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    Start thinking in terms of $20's (or however much dances are). "Song #1, that's $20, song #2, that's $40, song #3, that's $60" and so forth. I did that and my sit down time was cut considerably. While it sometimes pays to put in a little more time, most of the times guys who want a dance will want one within a song or two.

    If he gives you a firm no, smile warmly and politely excuse yourself. If he gives you the impression that he wants you to come back, agree to do so. Otherwise, tell him to have a good night and be on your way.


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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    Probe your customer. Hi, I'm Lilith, and your name is?

    Are you from here? Have you been to the club before? You're having a great time, aren't you?

    Find out a little about his work, etc. and then say, "I'm sure you're ready for some dances now". Grab his hand and say, " C'mon. le't go to the private dance area now". This should take no longer than one song, max two.

    If he resists, chat him up for about 1 song, and then go ask him again. If he still resists tell him you'll check back later,and go on to the next table.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    Most guys know even before you've approached them whether they want a dance from you or not... and those who are still undecided will know by the end of a 3 minute song. Make it a rule of thumb for yourself that you will give them one song min. and up to 3 songs max. before you close the sale.

    That gives the patron plenty of enough time to know whether he likes you enough to buy a dance from you. If he says a firm no - move on and do not approach him. If he says "Maybe later".. take it at face value.. give him at least another 4-5 songs before you approach him to ask again. I give the "maybe later" guys three attempts and then leave them for someone else the rest of the night.

    As for feeling guilty with asking or demanding the dance... ah.. think of it just like everyone else has already stated... does the drinks waitress feel guilty asking the patrons to buy a drink ? Really doubt it so why should you feel guilty asking for a dance...??

    You are a saleswoman not just a performer. You are there to sell as well as entertain.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    Motivation yes! ^-^ You goils are so helpful! I'm a waitress asking for a drink... I'm a waitress asking for a drink... I'm a waitress asking for a drink...

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    Quote Originally Posted by fallenfaerie84
    i had a guy that i knew wanted to ask me for a dance tonight, but was too nervous. ... anyhow, think of it has being better that u ask them, because most of the time, they would be too nervous to ask u.
    This happens to me at least once a night. Sometimes it's nervousness, and many customers simply don't understand how dance transactions work, especially if they're in a club for the first time. It feels really weird -- but good! -- every time I get a "yes" and then profuse thanks for asking someone if he (or she) would be interested in a dance.

    Won't you help these poor customers out? They need your guidance!

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    2 songs, rule of thumb. During conversation, ALWAYS drop hints about how much fun he's about to have with your nekid ass. Song ends, interrupt him and make your pitch. Practive, repeat. Eventually it will become second nature. If he is a new customer and hasn't agreed after song 2, I'm OUTTA THERE!

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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    Some useful threads:

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44279
    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50000
    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51267
    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51273


    And here, Susan Wayward says it all:

    one thing that will help you get over that is to realize that customers come into clubs to watch the pretty ladies get naked. Asking them if they want a dance is just like the waitress asking if they want a drink--if you were serving drinks you wouldn't think, "Oh, jeez, if I ask this guy if he wants another Bud he's going to think I'm all about the money, blah blah."

    And why on earth would you feel bad for leaving the table if the guy doesn't want a dance or isn't spending? If you told a salesperson you weren't interested in something, would you rather they hang out with you for free? No, it would be annoying and you'd be like, "I already told you no, so leave." And again, the waitress doesn't feel obligated to stay at a table if they're not ordering drinks.

    You will get used to it
    I sometimes use the excuse that "the boss" does not like to see me sitting on one place for too long.

    Also, remember that by haniging out with a guy for too long you are

    1) devaluing your time and that of every other dancer in the club because you are spending extraordinary amounts of time with them for free

    2) depriving yourself of the chance to sell a dance to somebody who wants one

    3)depriving some othe dancer of the chance to sell this guy a dance

    4) depriving the guy of the chance to find his new favoirte dancer.

    It really is OK to just chat for a few minutes and then pop the question. You may have to force yourself to do it a few times, and you may feel a little akward, too. It jsut takes practice. In the meantine, remind youself that no matter how much fun you are having yaking with this guy, you are still working, and that you do not work for free!

    Good luck!


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    --Agnes De Mille

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    Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    d

    I am so glad that this problem has been posted because I run into the same problem at my club. I always feel that 2 songs is too soon to pop the question. However, I get pissed off at myself for feeling guilty when I see how easy it is when other girls do it. To be in this business you need to have thick skin. I am so afraid of rejection!!! But, reading all these post really help, Thanks girls of SW!!!

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    Default Re: Just can't do it! ;-;

    <<<puts on flame retarded suit>>>


    Ok im gonna skip the "Guilt"trip part of this thread.

    Gonna go straight after the gals who do thier timing with drinks.

    Stop.

    Just dont fucking do it,its a bad idea,even if selling drinks is part of your clubs hustle and you have to sell a certain amopunt.

    Never do your timing by the drinks!!!!!!

    Count 2 songs,count sheep,ANYTHING,just never never use drinks as your timer.


    Please.

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