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Thread: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

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    Member BabyKyra03's Avatar
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    Default I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    Well, It's been one of my goals to be an exotic dancer for years now.....and a couple a days ago I finally mustered up and went and applied for it, and I got it! I've been dancing for two days, I'm getting alot better with the stage dancing........

    BUT, I have no cofidence as far as just going up to any guy and talking them into getting a dance, I've gotten a couple of dances but it would've only been enough to just pay the $100 house fee(which thankfully I don't have to pay YET), alot of the time they usually just say that they'll get a dancer later.......It's been slow the days i've worked but then again, I just don't think I know how to approach and be seductive and pushy like some of the other girls there......

    I'm really starting to have second thoughts on this whole Exotic Dancing thing........It's just really emotionally draining, i've almost cried a couple times. The manager just says that it's like being an actress, but the truth is that i've never done ANY acting........I really need help on this!!! What can I do to muster my self to just go up and just hustle? I have no idea!

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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    you will learn to not take things as personally. it really does suck when you get turned down if you don't have confidence as it is, however...that's part of the biz. this biz has actually HELPED me. however, i realize that is has the potential to hurt others. at first, it hurt me, but now i feel stronger, in a sense.

    this sounds really cheesy, but try www.confidenceworld.com (or something like that; its either .com or .net or .org...just use the free thingie)

    you'll eventually develop your own hustling style. u dont necessarily have to be pushy to make $$

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    Yeah I agree that that is about the hardest part of doing this. I'm new too and trying to learn the hustle myself. But I wouldn't give up yet. Try reading in hustle hut. $100 house fee! That sounds high. Hopefully that is a club with a huge earning potential!

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    Just like the Nike slogan says,"Just do it".Seriously.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Member cameron_uk's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    a great book that really helped me is "feel the fear and do it anyway" by susan jeffers. i bought the book to help me get confidence with driving, but it really helped me build my confidence and positive thinking for work too.

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    Senior Member grinew127's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    There is really no way to get over it. i know I was at my first night, and still am even though to a lesser degree. I guess it is just me. When i really start getting the shivers, I put on my running cloths and run. At the end of it, I am ususally too exhausted to be nervous.
    If I have time, I alwasys run before the night's engagement, it puts my mind in focus and I can do a better job performing the following night.
    Giselle Rine W. , -------- 127 Chesterfield.
    You weren't on Match Game in 1974.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    No one has the confidence initally. BUT.....over 7 years later, cocky motherfucker here...I really owe that to dancing...OTB is dead on here!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Senior Member Hotredhead_02's Avatar
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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    when it comes to getting dances, sit down talk for a min, then take him by the hand and tell him he is getting a dance from you.

    Put a little Magick in your night.

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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by BabyKyra03
    Well, It's been one of my goals to be an exotic dancer for years now.....and a couple a days ago I finally mustered up and went and applied for it, and I got it!........BUT, I have no cofidence as far as just going up to any guy and talking them into getting a dance.......It's been slow the days i've worked but then again, I just don't think I know how to approach and be seductive and pushy like some of the other girls there......I really need help on this!!! What can I do to muster my self to just go up and just hustle? I have no idea!
    OK, some advice from a male customer.....

    Firstly, the only person who really knows about your confidence levels is yourself. If you can keep your thoughts from showing, no customer will know you're not confident.

    Secondly, remember that most men don't understand what a dancer really thinks. Most men have a stereotypical view of dancers. They "know":

    (a) You are getting a degree of sexual excitement showing off your body to them.
    (b) You find them personally attractive, (even the overweight, balding fifty year olds with a personal hygiene problem).
    (c) If they chat to you in the right way they might get your phone number.

    Your "seductive and pushy" co-workers are just making sure they conform to this stereotype and getting dances accordingly. Your manager is dead right - you have to be an actress if you want to make $$$'s.

    What do the "seductive and pushy" dancers you work with say about their customers in the privacy of the dressing room? I'll bet it's not how attractive they find them, but what dipshits they are - become as good an actress yourself.

    Finally, remember you are in a seller's market. If a guy is in a strip venue it's because he wants to see naked women. They want to buy dances - and they will. All you have to do is make sure it's you they buy them from, and not one of the other dancers. Become "seductive and pushy" yourself - it's called hustling.

    Also remember not to take rejection personally - most men come into a strip venue with an idealised woman in mind to buy dances from. I'm more likely to buy dances from petite blondes with pert breasts. If you're a tall and large breasted redhead, it's not your fault if I don't want a dance.

    Hoping this helps....

    Phil.

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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    Dont ever take being turned down personally. All guys have something different in mind when they choose to go and see a dancer. I live in NM and apparantly te majority of men here like bigger girls. I am very thin and work out daily. I have a "stripper body" and am getting a ba in a few months but still women that I would not even consider as looking the stripper part walk out with twice the money I do and some days I m kicking but and they leave with nothing ( Im pretty much the only thin girl there). But guys go to fulfill their fantasies and there are many guys who have tastes that arent as socially acceptable and the strip club is someplace where they do not have to worry about every one judging them. Look at all the different kinds of web sites and adult movies. Its never your fault Its the guy and what they want. Trust me your beautiful!

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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    Hustle Hut

    Dancer Wealth - newsletter and/or seminar

    oh yeah... believe in yourself (do not compare yourself with/to others)


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Default Re: I have no confidence, HELP!!!!

    I am confident that you have it in you and if you do - it will come with time. But, dancing IS emotionally draining and ISN"T for everyone. If you give it a while and you can't find a niche that works for you, then maybe it isn't your thing. And that's okay, too.

    Wishing you the best of luck in whatever you decide!

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