First, I have very crazy friends. They make people here look sane.

Anyway, three weeks ago, we were all going up to Wisconsin Dells to go go-carting and roller-coasting. Oh, by the way, you haven't experienced true tacky until you've been to Wisconsin Dells. It's so tacky it's fun.

So we take off but then another carload of nutcakes join up with us. The magic of cellphones. They want to hit some nude beach along the Wisconsin River. The humorous thing is that we're having this decision discussion in a gas station and, due to not being the quietest of groups, get lots of raised eyebrows. Needless to say, the nude beach won.
In the group was yours truly, four guys, and six women. No couples. All single never-marrieds. All good looking with me being the oldest (41) and the youngest (a woman) being 18. We drive to a spot. Park. Hike FOREVER. Then we get to this thin stretch of beach long the Wisconsin River. On this beach it is packed! Bumper to bumper ... or bun to bun as the case was. We then walk for ETERNITY to find a spot where we can park. After I bit, I look back to see if anyone's left so we can get their spot. What I find is that we have a train of people following us. Not people also looking for a spot but people already disrobed following us. Mostly guys but also about a quarter of them women. I pointed this out to my group and that creeped us out. The followers didn't come up and talk to us ... which would have been cool ... but kept an eerie distance. One of our group thought it was just coincidence but when we backtracked to check the other side, the followers followed us there too.
Fortunately, one of our group spotted someone they knew on the river in a powerboat. She whistled and waved him over and he gave us a ride out to "the best sandbar" where his wife and teenage daughters already were. He was on a supply run when we spotted him. That sandbar had a few boats but not very populated and, interestly, far more women than men (unlike the river bank beach strip which had FAR more men than women). After dipping ourselves in sunblock, we explored the sandbar and settled in. No orgy. Just volleyball, charades (playing it in the nude was quite humorous), and a campfire. Later one of the boaters took off and brought back a TON of brauts, beer, and snacks plus a Weber grill. Had a great time.
So if you ever plan to do the nude on the Wisconsin River, rent a boat and aim for the sandbars.

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