Broken...heart

[Magdalena_666]

How long does it take before you don't cry everytime you hear a song that reminds you of them, and your not crying yourself to sleep everynight.

Every morning I wake up and my heart hurts. I feel like the pain of this is inescapable. I even dream of him.

And just knowing that the person whom I am mourning probaly does not even think of me anymore, probaly has replaced me with someone better than me makes me feel sick.
Memories are making me sick.

I just feel like I have lost my best friend. I mean we spent every day together for almost 2 years then poof..he is gone forever.
He just left in the middle of the night. Did not even tell me he was leaving. I had to wait 4 horrible days untill he even called me! I had no clue what was going on.
I feel like a heroin addict who has suddenly been cut off from thier supply. I am having withdrawls.
I start crying all the time. It's like it's never going to end.

knowing that I will never have ''closure'' is hard.

I would have liked for him to help me through this and to eventually be friends. I did not want him gone forever.

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through emotionally and one of the hardest things about it is knowing that I have to let go. that there is no hope anymore. That he is never coming back.
Fuck, now im crying again.
Im sorry for sounding like such a fool you guys, I just feel really alone and I probaly shoulden't be writing all of this but at this point I really have nothing left to lose.

[Mia M]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you! Just know that you're not alone. All of us have gone through a heartbreak. Get all that crying out of your system, there's no shame in it.

I doubt he's replaced you with some one better. You know how awesome you are so stop beating yourself up. From the way he decided to break things off, you're probaly better off without him.

Keep your chin up and talk some more when you're ready.

[MojoJojo]

It's different for everyone. Part of the pain is feeling there is something wrong with you. Get past that. You WILL heal.

[Madcap]

Yeah, i know how you feel (I also know that no-one likes hearing 'i know how you feel' but bear with me, here).

This sucks, it's one of the shitty things about being human, but it does pass. It gets better with time, until sooner or later you still remember but the pain is dulled. I've been there.

Hey, maybe I do have emotions! Who knew?

[toxicgirl]

this happened to me once. my relationship wasnt as long as yours though. saw the loser 9 months later at a regular club. beat him with a bar stool & felt better. did i mention he also took $100 from me? and told everyone i was a psycho? might as well live up to the image...

[grinew127]

this happened to me once. my relationship wasnt as long as yours though. saw the loser 9 months later at a regular club. beat him with a bar stool & felt better. did i mention he also took $100 from me? and told everyone i was a psycho? might as well live up to the image...

Make my day, GOD!!! Love it, Absolutely love it!
Pregnant and abandoned. No time to waste tears.
Saw him again, I beat the living hell out of him.
Like I told those people who called me psycho, MAKE MY DAY!

[whirlerz]

Toxi, will you come help me beat my ex? Nah, he not worth bothering about. Luv the story, tho! Only 100, you got away cheap compared to me.
Anyway, Mag sorry you're hurtin'. I went thru it it sucked. But, it was better in the long run than being w/the a-hole. Hugs to you. Everyone has a different timetable. Take good care of yourself, be good to yourself.

[MsTopaz]

baby, don't rush it because it won't happen overnight.

my LAST major heartbreak took me over a year to get over, and during that time i thought that i never would. i threw out everything that reminded me of him. then vowed that no man would ever hurt me like that again, vowed that i would never fall in love so quickly again, never give my heart to another man like that again, and i haven't.

i'm not saying that you should do the same thing, at that time i thought that every man on the face of the planet was an asshole, and my friendships (with my male friends) suffered. i don't think that way anymore, but it took time...more than a few years.

just give it time baby. you will get over it.

[Katrine]

Been there....its been years and it still kills....only time, that's it NOTHING else sweets..PM me, I'll give you my # if you want to talk...

[Pamela]

You are mourning. It's the same feeling as experiencing a death. Our minds go through stages, and you sound to be right on track. You're pain will be there yes, but i promise it gets easier!!!! Hearing a certain song that played when you two used to be together is a big trigger. It's all normal. I wish we all could wave a wand and you would not feel the pain, but it takes time. And more time.

Let the feelings come, feel them, cry until you can't shed another tear that day for him! treat YOU to many cute nice gifts!

And remember we always think they are with some one better! BULL SHIT.

Get a hair colour, or trim or new style....All these changes are letting go of the past. When he pops in you're mind start to replace these thoughts with thoughts of YOU doing what you loved before you met him...It helps alot. After my sister passed with me talking to her in the hopsital, i went through a support program for 1 month....The feeling is the same, a loss is a loss.

Good luck,

Pamela

[colleen]

Magdelena, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I know it must hurt like hell.

It will all take time. I think Pamela is absolutely right with her answer.

To your question "How long dies it take?" I lost somebody to cancer 6 years ago. I can't tell you how long it will take for YOU, but this is what it was like for me: (the dates are when each phase ended)

In shock and denial: 3-4 months after his death
Crying all the time because I lost the shield of denial: 6-8 months after his death
Suicidal: 11 months after his death (this stage was cut short b/c I became pregnant)
Crying at EVERY trigger (song, passing certain places, finding his stuff in my apartment, etc) about 12-15 months
Crying at SOME triggers about 3 years
Crying at a FEW triggers but, wehn it happened, feeling about as bad as if he died yesterday: about 5 years
Shedding a few tears every once in a while: still happens.

Everybody heals at their own pace, so please don't think my timetable is going to be exactly the same as yours. But I can tell you, you will get through it, and someday the pain will be a lot less than it is now. It will go from horrific to bearaable to hardly even noticible to only there when you look for it.

You are going to be all right.

[Silverback]

I hope you feel better soon, Maggs.

Here's a message for him!


http://www.cagebypage.com/wavs/ra_wav_02.wav

[screaminpeachez]

Here's a message for him!

http://www.cagebypage.com/wavs/ra_wav_02.wav

Nice! I love that movie!!



And we love you girl!

[tampafldancer]

OH GOD MAG, I HAVE BEEN THERE!


JUST DONT DO WHAT I HAVE DONE ..... Put up walls for your next relationship b/c you are so hurt now.

Well, im not sure if it was because i was hurt.. i think it is just because i have been in a ton of relationships and each time it just gets easier to break it off. Now i feel no pain.

I think the last time i actually felt something was when i was 17 or so. The one time in my life when someone else besides me broke up a relationship. 2 years later he came back to me saying that he loved me etc. and that he couldnt live w/out me and i entertained that thought for a while. Then broke it off the same way he broke it off with me. How the hell could i love someone that would do that to me anyway!!!! f that!

THATS WHAT YOU NEED TO BE ASKING YOURSELF GIRL

HOW COULD YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO COULD DO THAT TO YOU? BE SO CARELESS WITH YOUR HEART?

[Gynger]

Sweetheart.. I completely understand this.. and I know it is hard..

You are in the beginning stages of getting over it though.. Like mentioned before, there are stages, right now you're in the mourning stage, next will be the anger stage then it will be accpetance.. it sucks. I, too, have had my share of this, and it has never been easy...

Look at it this way- you will be a much stronger person after this is over with.. please email me if you need to talk.. and I'm usually up late these days and on yahoo.. so please, if you just need someone to talk to, im me..

[showgirlschloe]

Sorry you are heartbroken. I think you need to get out of the house with some friends. Go see a funny movie (not a romantic one), go to get coffee with some friends, and just keep yourself busy. You don't need him anyways, he's obviously a weasel if he snuck out in the middle of the night. What a jerk and you are better without him. Actually, you should thank him because that means he's opened up your life for that one true guy who will appreciate you for who you are.

[lwtex52]

And just knowing that the person whom I am mourning probaly does not even think of me anymore, probaly has replaced me with someone better than me makes me feel sick.
Memories are making me sick.

Someone better? Don't count on it.

[madmaxine]

Only time will help. (Oh, and to be honest, he will probably pop back up in your life, if only to try & take advantage of your feelings for him. Beware!) Looking back on my worst heartbreak, I regret not laughing in his face when he called me whining about how he'd been dumped much in the same way he dumped me. I went out to dinner with my best friend and laughed my ass off, telling her about him, over good food instead.
This will take a few years, but eventually the good memories will remain and the bad ones will fade......you'll see him as just a part of your life. And by that time, someone better will have come along, and this pain will be a distant memory.

[Bunny]

I've been through being dumped without explanation from a guy who I thought was my "soulmate." I would have married him in a heartbeat and I'm not the kind of person to do that. But that's how into him I was. I never thought I'd meet someone who made me feel like I did and then I did and it was scary to me and when he left it was even worse. But the good side to this story is that I DID get over it. It took me about two years, therapy, and Prozac. I also made a decision at some point that no matter how much I loved him I would never take him back because if he didn't have the decency to break up with me and he didn't know he wanted to be with me enough than I would respect myself and NEVER take him back. I've never spoken to him since and that was over 7 years ago. I really flipped out over it to put it mildly. The stages of grieving that you go through are true. At first I didn't believe it, then I just wished I was dead. But somehow I survived and am now a lot stronger person for it. Though it can't take away your pain just knowing that other people have been through it sometimes helps. I was in a women's therapy group and that really helped.

Did you ever find out why he left?

[princessjefflina]

just focus all your energy and attention on me
youllforget about dat nigga ihn o time!

[dlabtot]

Leaving someone cold, without explanation, is profoundly disrespectful. You deserve better.

[Clark]

He strikes me as a coward who didn't want to tell you he was leaving because he then he might have to explain why.

[dlabtot]

He strikes me as a coward who didn't want to tell you he was leaving because he then he might have to explain why.

Bingo.

[princessjefflina]

i dont get it
UFKC HIM YO HES A BITHC NIGGA DOESNT DESERVE SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ME
WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS!

[Mia M]

Gawd, reading that reminds me when my ex-fiance and I broke up! He wasn't as sneaky but it still felt like it came out of left field.

He had a friend visiting us from Seattle. She was supposed to stay for 2 days and I was really excited to meet her. Low and behold, the day she comes in I get called into work. At that time I was working for a crappy department store making $9 an hour and pretty much supporting both of us. So he picks her up from the airport while I go to work.

When he comes to pick me up after work she's with him and I finally get to meet her. It was like a scene from a bad movie. I can see that they're happy and laughing when I approached the car but as soon as I open the door and get in they go silent.

Silly, naieve me thinks that I just interupted thier conversation so I go on introducing myself to her and making chit chat. She gives me short one word responses. I figure she's just shy and tired so I tell them to go ahead and have dinner without me so they can catch up.

The mood when they got home could best be described as uber-somber. The next thing I know he's telling me he's going to move back to Seattle TOMORROW. He spent the entire evening packing his shit and loading what he could into the backseat and trunk of the car.

He tells me he realized he was so unhappy when he went to dinner with her. She told him that he seemed like a different person when I entered the room. I was like a dark rain cloud and he was Eyore.

While he's packing his clothes, his friend is in my bedroom helping him. I tell him to get her out. He swears up and down that he's not f*cking her and I told him I didn't care. She was the catalyst in his descision and I really didn't appreciate her rummaging through my bedroom.

In the morning he left. My last words to him that morning was, "take care of yourself. I won't be there to do it anymore." I spent the next 48 hours crying. After that I was angry for a really long time. He called me a few days after it happened. Said he wanted closure. I told him I didn't want to speak to him anymore, and I haven't.

In retrospect it was the best thing that happened to me. Later out I found out it was healthy for him as well.

I was twenty years old at the time and I know that if we got married I'd be a divorcee by the time I was 21. I had moved from Hawaii to Colorado for him and it was a reluctant move. I had never been so far from my family before but I was determined not to go home with my tail tucked between my legs. I learned how strong and self reliant I am. I've Lived here for 8 years now and I love it.

As for him, I heard from his grandmother one Christmas that he was doing well. During our relationship he could never keep down a job, I was the principle bread winner. After a few years living in seattle he became a successful tatoo artist and by now his child must be about 5 or 6.

My point is you'll heal and you'll grow. Even if it hurts too much to realize it right now.