Sooooo, i'm having lunch with my Mom and my Grandma. I'm sitting there eating my Philly and i overhear some shit i didn't expect to hear...
Grandma rule #1: Remember everything you were told last Christmas.
Grandma rule #2: If you weren't paying attention, make sure and ask whom they were speaking of before bursting out with "SHE'S KNOCKED UP?" Make sure they are talking about your Aunt (Who told you full fucking well that she was preggers last christmas), and NOT your cousin!
Grandma rule #4: Never use the term "Knocked up?" No matter how shocked you may be, despite misunderstanding the whole fucking conversation.
Grandma rule #3: In the odd chance the above two vanish in your mind, PLAY DUMB!
Grandma and Mother at lunch rule #2: Immediately mentally cut your balls off, they will get you in trouble.
This has been a public service announcement.



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