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Thread: Help!

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    Member Gigi2Cute's Avatar
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    Default Help!

    I had my first day on the job last Friday. When I started, I was not expecting so much contact. My manager told me "no air dances" so, alright, no problem. I spent the whole day in a daze just working my butt off. I came home with a fat wad of cash to comfort me, but I couldn't sleep. The next day I had off, it was terrible. At times I felt guilty and at others I didn't. However, everywhere I went, I was scared that someone would recognize me. All the men walking around looked liked guys I had danced for. So, I freaked out and quit. I am so scared of someone finding out that I strip. On one hand, I try and tell myself that it's not a big deal. It's nothing, it means nothing. On the other hand, the movements are very intimate and mean everything to my partner and I. I feel like I don't know up from down right now. Mentally, I am a tough gal. I know I could do this and rock at it, however my hearts just not in it. Any advice? Did anyone go through something similar?

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!

    However, everywhere I went, I was scared that someone would recognize me.

    I have this EXACT same problem and I've only danced a few times. I think it's going to get to me too much to keep doing it. I might go back but I'm thinking that it might be too much on me emotionally and not worth the money, especially since I've hardly made crap doing it. I might learn to bartend. At least then I can tell the people on my day job what I did last night.

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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!

    Actually, I think this reaction is quite normal. I felt like that the first day I worked, then I shook it off and went back and it was fine. You're going beyond your normal comfort zone that you have with strangers, of course you're gonna feel strange. It goes away and then you just don't care anymore. Stick it out, you'll be fine.

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    Default Re: Help!

    To be honest, it may have alot to do with the kind of club both of you are having to dance at (rules/regular dances are usually the same all over whatever city you are in) For example,if you were in a city where you were required by law to be a certain distance away from the guy (not many of these left now) you probably would feel very differently about dancing. I'm sure that is not much help because you can't just up and move(!), but maybe you should call/go by other clubs in the area and see what their dances are like. Maybe you will find something you are more comfortable with? LA and Tampa are both tough,though. Don't give up yet, but realize all clubs are not created equal

    Best of luck to you both...
    Grinding is for coffee and meat.
    "I want to entertain people who wish to be entertained, not be an expensive but poor substitute for someone who can't find themselves a prostitute."-Asurfel
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    Featured Member showgirlschloe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!

    You know, that brings up a good point Lildreamer. I started in one of the cleanest clubs around, and I still felt a bit dirty. Like I said, you are going beyond your normal comfort level. Don't give up, 'cause the money is great and the job does wonders for your self esteem. At least it did for mine. I was such a shy person and now you could never tell. As far as guys remembering you when you're in public, they really don't. You've got to remember, they had been drinking and it was a dark environment, and I'm sure you had way more make up on then you do when you go to the grocery store. Oh yeah, and you're not as tall 'cause you don't have 6-8 inches strapped to your feet. I wouldn't sweat it.

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    Senior Member usmcjess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!

    Sometimes you always feel a little dirty, as you dance more you will learn to ignore or block it out and it becomes so habititual you wont even notice.
    Im Retired...for now
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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!

    Yes, you could try to find another club which better suites you, and maybe has rules that you are comfortable with. I happen to know two dancers who work in clubs with different sets of rules. One works in an all nude air-dance club, and the other works in the topless area of a medium contact club. The truth is neither one could picture herself doing what the other does. One feels like she could never let custys make contact with her all day long, and the other feels uncomfortable getting fully nude infront of people. Both of these dancers have found places that fit their comfort zone and they do great at their respective clubs.

    Obviously the contact is something you (and you mention your SO as well) have a problem with. Feel free to give it another shot if you like, and if the feeling passes cool. However, is the feeling doesn't pass, or you don't wish to give it another go, that's alright. I don't mean to over simplify, but dancing is not for everyone.

    Best of luck in what ever direction you choose to go.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Member Sharee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!

    I know what you mean exactly. I am married and last week started working as a dancer in a medium contact club. It was the best in town, the staff and management were wonderfully supportive, however it didn't feel right for me either, although I never gave it a chance.

    I quit this week after only 4hrs. My hubby wasn't too happy with the contact nor did I feel comfortable with the feeling of being unfaithful when I was only doing a job. If i went to another state where there was no contact at all, it would be perfect.

    Look, I have regrets now and feel i can't go back! Think carefully, communicate with your partner and soul search within yourself. Is it right for you?, is your partner comfortable about it or concerned?, etc. If you're nervous, it could be that you are out of your comfort zone, but it could be that it's not right for you too.

    Find other venues and do some research, even if you and your partner go visit these places together to get his feedback...it becomes a partnership then. But if he's not comfortable at all...you'll need to ask yourself if your relationship with him is worth jeopardising, as the ups and downs of the job emotionally require his solid support and if you haven't got that, then no amount of money will mend things between you.

    So hard making the right decision, particularly when it's what you want to do (like myself), but in the end home is what is important sometimes. Goodluck. I know you'll make the right decision.
    Sharee[FONT=Georgia][SIZE=6][COLOR=Magenta]

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    Default Re: Help!

    oh, by the way, have you spoken to the club manager where you were working. Are you able to comfront them and talk to them about your apprehensions and that of your partners'? Maybe having a heart to heart with them allows them to know where you're coming from and perhaps if you ask for a little time to have a think about it...you could possibly keep the door open to the club so if you feel it's right, you can go back.

    It might be worth a shot anyway. Cheers sweetie.

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    Member Gigi2Cute's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!

    Thank You all so much. I will definitly talk to my manager, he is a great guy. I just don't know if I should tell my boyfriend. He has mentioned that he dated a stripper before for about a month, and that he couldn't be with that "type" of girl. I don't know if it was the job or her. I don't buy into the whole good girl bad girl thing. I really pissed me off when he said that, I defended her without knowing her, and way before I danced. I think there are smart women and stupid women. Everyone should be able to express all different sides of their personality. I just don't want his mind running away with what he thinks I am doing at the club. I don't want his friends showing up under cover to report back to him. It's a JOB! The club I danced for is supposed to have a grand opening soon b/c they just remodeled the place...I would just want to die if one of his friends came down. I would rather it come from me than them. Ughhhhh! Remember when life was black and white? When right or wrong was so clear cut? My whole life is gray. I don't know my up from down. If stripping isn't bad, why am I hiding it? I wish people wouldn't always try to define others and put them in these boxes. Any advice on the boyfriend front?

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    Banned Helle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!

    Hah! Funny kinf of OT thing, but...

    ...I'm very open and proud and bla bla bla of my dancing. I've run into a few customers outside of work, some who say hi, and they always seem more embaressed to see me outside of work than vice versa, haha.

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    Member Sharee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!

    hi sweetie. Again, speak to your manager seemings he's a nice guy. What you need to do is find out whether you truly love dancing and the whole job description. The way i saw it is that it isn't prostitution, if you do it right and don't do the extras...it is honest work. It's just a little raunchy, that's all.

    If you enjoy it and your b/f gets a bit funny and sees you as being a 'bad' girl, when you feel you are not doing anything wrong, then is he worth it. Maybe he is, but if this is something you want to do, then he can't hold you back otherwise you may regret it in the future. I know it's blunt, but really it's true.

    Lot's of people have this preconceived notion that there is more to stripping than what there is. For some there is, for some there isn't. So long as you feel comfortable. A manager once said that I had to be prepared to go noticed in public as a stripper. If i could handle that without shame, then i could handle the industry. It is a very big decision, only one you can answer. Be honest to yourself and sleep on the idea. Take as long as you need, and if in the end it's for you, can put your heart and soul into it.

    My mum at the moment is livid because i told her, it's hard because of her disapproval, but it's what i want that counts. Sorry for waffling on. Hang in there and stick to what you believe is true.

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