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Thread: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Emiliana's Avatar
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    Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    Ok so i have been looking at pics in my sw gallery and personal pics on my comp and i really can't understand why men tell me i'm hot. i think it is warped and i don't get it....i'm am NOT looking for compliments but i want to know...Do you guys ever wonder what the hell men think is hot about you? I just wonder that what I see in the mirror is...wrong or maybe morphed...I believe every woman is beautiful but we all know that there is a quality of hotness that some have and some just don't have. I don't think I have it but i have been told i have(i think they wanted just in my pants but I just wanted to get my thoughts out) Man I want confidence and most the time i can fake it it...but truly i have never thought i was more than average....How do you guys feel?
    Emiliana



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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    We are ALL more critical of ourselves than anyone else. Where a guy can look at us and see HOT, we look at ourselves and 'can't see the forest for the trees' - see all the little flaws magnified instead of seeing the overall beauty. Women are also generally more observant and critical than men - we inherently see MUCH more details than they do, so while we're busy fretting over a hair out of place they're busy drooling over the package.

    It's good to literally take a step back from the mirror now and then and just take in the whole picture at once, instead of breaking down the minor details. When you look at your whole self it's easier to see the overall beauty.

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    Featured Member london's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    I can definitely understand this issue more and more the longer I dance. It is weird being told you're hot...because, at least for me, I equate it with how well I think I should be doing money-wise for the night. It gets irritating to hear, "Oh, you're so beautiful" but have a guy go with a girl that makes you go "Huh"? and "hot" loses its meaning....and then, yea, sometimes the day I feel is an ugly day, all of a sudden I am the princess for the night. Or vice versa, I'll feel super hot and confident and cant sell for sh**! I now try to spend time looking at every angle of myself in the dressing room and see myself as a whole 3 dimensional being and see how the whole package comes together....I think the best thing to do is remember"You're all you've got!" so you may as well work with it!!!
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    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    I agree with B on this one.. we're over critical.. but I completely relate to the statement of having an ugly day and selling circles around everyone else and then feeling overly confident and doing shitty... used to happen to me..

    I think I got warped.. because I just do not see anything that gets pointed out to me.. (I no longer dance) I just see it all differently.. but I'm comfortable with who I am, and I don't view myself as being anything except just an average girl who is somewhat down to earth..

    I think women in general are just overly critical.. even some of the most beautiful women I have met and worked with have said some of the same things as above..


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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    What Gynger and Bridgette said...and adding that there is more to you than just looks. There is your body style and your personality. The whole package together is what makes you you.

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    Veteran Member alicia0033's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    When I'm not working at the SC, I feel like just an average cute ordinary girl. I mean i get compliments sometimes but I don't think i turn heads or anything. But at the SC I hear I'm beautiful all nite. I sometimes think to myself if we were at the grocery store you wouldn't be sayn that. hmm just a thought.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    ^ Yeah...but how many times have you put on your stripper outfits and make-up for a trip to the grocery store for milk, eggs, and bread.

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    God/dess kryssy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    Remember that dancing can wear on your self-confidence. After dealing with rejection and then going to a guy that says your hot messes with your mind and emotions.

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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emiliana
    Ok so i have been looking at pics in my sw gallery and personal pics on my comp and i really can't understand why men tell me i'm hot. i think it is warped and i don't get it....I just wonder that what I see in the mirror is...wrong or maybe morphed...I believe every woman is beautiful but we all know that there is a quality of hotness that some have and some just don't have.
    Addressing this question purely in strip club terms, as a male custy you tend to find "hotness" is not so much defined by physical beauty, as by the dancer's attitude/weltanschungg.

    Most dancers are easy on the eye - it's after all a basic requirement for the job. Even if you take into account men's preferences, they will find the majority of the dancers in the club more than meet their ideal of physical attractiveness - "hotness" is not down to appearance.

    What does vary from dancer to dancer is the degree of personal satisfaction that they get from what they do. There is a degree of exhibisionism in every dancer that's stayed in the job for more than a few months - if there wasn't some degree of job satisfaction, then they'd have moved on to greener pastures.

    With some dancer's the exhibishionism is in a minor key, and the financial return is by far the biggest motivation. I guess the majority of dancers fall into this category.

    Some dancers do get a greater degree of pleasure out of their job. I'm not suggesting their exhibishionism is purely sexually based - far from it. I think some dancers enjoy the feeling that they are desired by every man in the venue - it's a general liking for being wanted, it's not a liking for being desired by any particular individual. Other dancers enjoy the power they have over the man they're dancing for - for a few minutes their customer can be manipulated at the dancer's whim.

    It's this degree of pleasure in what they do that can get communicated to us male customers from a "hot" dancer. And from the male point of view it's entirely possible to misconstrue this pleasure. The dancer might be enjoying her sense of power over us, while we interpret it as sexual exhibishionism - and if we think, (mistakenly or otherwise), that the dancer's getting sexual pleasure in dancing for us, then our ego immediately categorises the dancer as "hot".

    Hope I've communicated my arguement in a logical manner...

    Phil.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    Guys walk in the club, generally prepared to see you in a certain way. So they do. No big mystery.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    Addressing this question purely in strip club terms, as a male custy you tend to find "hotness" is not so much defined by physical beauty, as by the dancer's attitude/weltanschungg.
    I agree, except that I believe it applies OTC as well as ITC. Jenny, don't flame me, here.



    Women are also generally more observant and critical than men - we inherently see MUCH more details than they do, so while we're busy fretting over a hair out of place they're busy drooling over the package.
    This is completely correct, to geek out for a second here on the topic, as shown two years ago in a study at Oxford--a study of detail recognition between men and women, in an effort to explain, for example, why men think a house is clean and women would find it revolting. The study revealed, among other things, that men don't see things like clutter or errant items because of the way their brains view environments, whereas women cannot stop seeing said clutter or errant items because of how their own brains process environmental data and stimuli.

    Jenny's point is also extremely valid here; expectations are in place before we enter the door. Add alcohol and painfully loud music and it's even easier to be so taken when you're approached by a scantily clad dancer.

    Bottom line is, if you could see yourselves through our eyes, it wouldn't be a mystery why we desire you.

    Two cents.
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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia0033
    When I'm not working at the SC, I feel like just an average cute ordinary girl. I mean i get compliments sometimes but I don't think i turn heads or anything. But at the SC I hear I'm beautiful all nite. I sometimes think to myself if we were at the grocery store you wouldn't be sayn that. hmm just a thought.
    But at the SC, they can tell you that you're hot without having to worry about getting a negative reaction from you.... do the beautiful women I see at the grocery store really want me to tell them so?

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you ever see the real you in the mirror?

    I have always complimented beauty when I see it. Sometimes a guy can be nice and bestow a compliment out of the blue. One time in a stairwell, I told a girl I thought her outfit really looked nice on her. You could tell she was headed out, and I didn't even know her, but we had a long conversation about how long it took for her to pick it out and etc etc etc, but you could tell she really wanted to be complimented on her outfit that evening, and I am glad I did
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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