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Thread: More sex?!

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    Default More sex?!

    So theres this guy who Im sorta dating.....and I finally started to enjoy sex again and want to have sex too. It feels good to want sex again...anyways....were compatible as people but sexually he falls short (and not in the literal sense) of my needs.

    Hes not into kink or anything like that...as far as he goes with kink is 3some and anal. Hes not against not wanting to try anything else but if you try something different wouldnt it be nice if even a little bit it got your partner aroused too?

    On top of the above, the only way he can control his load is by being drunk and I dont want to have sex with a drunk person all the time. If I wanted that I would date a bum. I know sex cant be phenomenal every time but for example.......last night he goes down on me and (***warning graphicness ahead***) analing fingers me too .....then I hop on top for well hrmm all of 1min or so and its OVER. I like him and want to make sex last longer......tips anyone?

    You guys are the only people that are mature enough to answer a Q like this.
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    Default Re: More sex?!

    My bf is pretty vanilla too. He's not even comfortable with spanking. We've been togeter for almost 2 years. It hasn't bothered me at all until recently. I really just want to tie him up and do naughty things to him while watching porn... is that so wrong? Anyhow, my plan is to suggest mildly kinky things for him to do to me in the heat of the moment. Nothing crazy, don't wanna scare the poor boy. I might start with a pull my hair and work from there. I'll let you know how my experiment works out.

    As for the your other concern, maybe using two condoms? That's the best suggestion I got right now. Good luck!

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    Veteran Member leebay88's Avatar
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    Default Re: More sex?!

    Tell him to Jerk off before you have sex... Seriously, I am not kidding.
    Get ontop of him and start riding him. when he is going to pop stop. then repeat a few times... He'll build up an endurance and learn how to hold.

    This girl i dated once was so fucking hot everytime we had sex i would loose it right away. It's also not a bad idea to make him wear a condom so the feeling is a little less.

    You girls rock. i wish all girls wanted to get crazy

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    Ditto on the condom thing. Maybe try one of those extended pleasures ones? With the first girl I was with there was very little emotion, I could go quite a while, the whole thing meant NOTHING to me, and the only hope I had of ever getting off was with a Trojan Supra or similar condom. With my fiance, different story. We used condoms for a while (k, like 3 weeks, lol) and it was still kinda tough, and now that we don't use them I can barely hang on long enough to make sure she gets hers first. This may, k will, sound rather cheesy, but the thought process I use is that I want to bring her the pleasure of an orgasm through intercourse, and I can't do that if I go first, and that usually seems to work well. There's the occasional time where I have to stop for a second, and she's told me that really throws her over the edge towards orgasm because she knows I'm being pleasured as well.

    Try talking to him about it, ask him what you can do to help him last longer, things like that.

    As for the kinkiness, BABY STEPS. My fiance had NEVER used any sorts of toys, even by herself, and one night I said let's stop in this sex shop and see if they have anything fun. We looked through the toys and I told her I thought one of those would be fun in the bedroom and she picked one out that she liked, and now she REALLY likes it and has gone out and got a couple more too.

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    Veteran Member leebay88's Avatar
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    Default Re: More sex?!

    Also try having sex in awkward positions. This will make him need to concentrate more which will take his mind off of the action a little. Meaning, if you just ride on top of him all the time, the missionary position or doggie style his muscles will be too relaxed and makes it harder for him to control.

    Try having sex standing up.

    As Big dave said... i do the oral thing like crazy... esp when I am so turned on I know I won;t last a long time

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    Wow sounds like what 18yrs of marriage will do to your sex life lol - (my own experience ) I rarely get off when I am being rode hmm.He is just excited or too excited its something new and its hard to hold back I think if you give it some time it will work out to what you want . Hell you cant help it if you got a great feeling pu--y - its a complement girl he cant hold it back because it feels so good ! Work with him - I am not sure about the jack-off deal hell once he shoots that one he may be done .. Get a picture of Janet Reno and when he gets close to the end hold it up this should work if not he's got problems !! lol

    seriously good luck with him you will get it right !

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    ^^hahaha Janet Reno LOL

    Thanks for the ideas guys. I hope him wearing a condom wont kill the mood. Were monogomous for the time being just b/c its easier and we trust eachother. I have a thing for nerdy/cute-guys at the moment so I know hes not going anywhere. Hehehe I was watching him (I like to watch a guys face when he cums) as I was pouncing up and down and he looked like he was going to spontianeously combust or something LOL!

    I could give him a handy but it might go in my eye .
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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    Member Mr.B's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: More sex?!

    Getting him off more often will "desensitize" him gradually and increase your "playtime" in the long run, but it all depends on his recovery time and how often he wants sex.

    Other than that, try using a cock ring until he learns some of sense of control. If he doesn't like that idea, then a bj with an ice cube in your mouth is a cheap and easy way to numb him down a bit beforehand.
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    Default Re: More sex?!

    try tantric techniques. while tantra isn't just about sex...there are some techniques that can prolong 'your pleasure', if you will. it will do the both of you some good (or so i hear).
    why do some people still have to fight to get the same opportunities that are given to others?

    reclusiveness...is a good thing.

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    Veteran Member Santos's Avatar
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    Default Re: More sex?!

    He could get his doctor to prescribe Prozac or Paxil. They do decrease the sex drive somewhat, but they are sometimes prescribed for premature ejaculation. A 1/2 a tab a day (10mg) might do the trick. But everyone reacts a little differently to these types of medications.

    I was prescribed Paxil about 8 years ago to get through a rough period. I really didn’t need it after using it for a few months, but after stopping for awhile, I decided to start taking it again because it helped me to last so long. There is nothing worse than finishing too fast, and there is nothing better than being help to hold out until the woman you’re making love to is satisfied.

    Some info: http://www.natural-hrt.com/artman/pu...inter_95.shtml

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    : CO dons his Yoda ears and clears his Dagobahian throat :

    Control, control, he must learn control. ( I love that line in the movie... )

    This is a combination of mental acuity and awareness and hands-on practice--literally. He needs to learn his own response curve when spending quality time with himself, and when he fucks you, he must focus more on you and less on himself. Again, with practice, he can exert enough control to perform like a professional.

    It's not a you thing, it's a him thing.
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    Default Re: More sex?!

    Giving a blowjob first and having him come then and then starting the sex play over again can work, but that says his sex drive isn't gone then. Many people (women included) are exhausted after a single climax and their sex drive is gone. Give it a try though. Do realize you'll need to possibly really work to ignite his sex drive again. Possibly not, but possibly.

    What I would instead recommend is a hypnotherapy session or two. Sex is all in the mind. Look for a hypnotherapist that will NOT do this sort of treatment. Explain the situation. They'll say they don't do it. Ask who they would recommend then. That recommendation is usually really good. Only consider those who are certified psychotherapists and no one else. Your bf might need more than one or two sessions. But if he can be hypnotized (5% of the population cannot be ... I being one of that minority), he'll get benefit out of it. No drugs. No double condoms. No cock rings.

    Oh, and while you're making this request, the hypnotherapist can also help "expand his horizons" when it comes to kinky sex. Many people don't like getting kinky because they're afraid. Hypnotheraphy can help in these situations. I would talk separately to the hypnotherapist about this additional request not in your bf's presense. He can use hypnotheraphy to get your boyfriend to admit that he knows you like it more kinky and then work on him to explore this for not only your but his pleasure. After all, sex is always more pleasureable when both partners are turned on.
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    Default Re: More sex?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    : CO dons his Yoda ears and clears his Dagobahian throat :

    Control, control, he must learn control. ( I love that line in the movie... )

    This is a combination of mental acuity and awareness and hands-on practice--literally. He needs to learn his own response curve when spending quality time with himself, and when he fucks you, he must focus more on you and less on himself. Again, with practice, he can exert enough control to perform like a professional.

    It's not a you thing, it's a him thing.
    The force is strong with this one.

    I "built up" a desensitivity over quite a few years of not getting any from anyone but Rosie and her 5 sisters. I became accustomed to one "rythym" and on rythym only. It took a while for anything to happen outside of this rythym, but it gave me time to figure out how things worked for me. And usually my fiance only takes a couple minutes to reach orgasm, so I don't really have to hold on that long anyways, lol.

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    As for controlling his load, perhaps try some of those cream products that dull sensation. I can't think of any names but they're meant to make it harder for the guy to cum by dulling some of the sensation. I've used some before with a couple guys for the hell of it and they said it was MUCH harder to cum but when they did it was also more intense.

    Maybe I'm a bit cynical but I always think a guy who can't control his load even a little bit is not trying. Does he really seem to be trying at all??? I mean REALLY? It's one thing when he hasn't been laid in a while and can't hang on but after the first time that should not be an issue...

    Regarding his lack of kinky desire, in my experience there's not much you can do about that. I think they're either aroused by it or not. If you try stuff and he's not into it now, he likely never will be.

    I dunno, I tend to think stuff like this is just a matter of sexual INcompatibility, and for me at least, time to move on. IMO, if the sex isn't good there's a significant reason, most likely some deeper form of incompatibility which is causing the lackluster sack sessions. Call me greedy but I gotta have it all! Good personal/emotional chemistry and good sex too!

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    I've cum before just going down on my wife. I hadn't even gotten my unit out of my pants yet and it was over. I guess I just enjoyed it a lot.
    The masturbation thing is a good idea. I know it takes days for me to cum a third time. lol
    Fuck condoms, and desensitizing, just fuck more.
    Also, you can stop yourself from cumming by clenching the muscle used to stop the flow of urine.
    It's hard, and takes practice, but it works.

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    Quote Originally Posted by leebay88
    Tell him to Jerk off before you have sex... Seriously, I am not kidding.
    Get ontop of him and start riding him. when he is going to pop stop. then repeat a few times... He'll build up an endurance and learn how to hold.

    This girl i dated once was so fucking hot everytime we had sex i would loose it right away. It's also not a bad idea to make him wear a condom so the feeling is a little less.

    You girls rock. i wish all girls wanted to get crazy
    This is what I would have said when I read your post first time. Tell him to wank off first.

    Another thing you could do (my new man taught me this) is to give him a BJ, but pull his penis down in the direction towards his balls while doing it. Don't pull it too far down or it's uncomfortable for him but I'm sure he'll tell you his comfort level. It creates a nice tension but one which holds back the ejaculation process. You can get the penis to be in a similar position while doing reverse cowgirl (i.e. on top but facing away from him). Give it a shot and see how it goes. But get him to jack off first just incase.
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    Default Re: More sex?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    Control, control, he must learn control. ( I love that line in the movie... )
    ...
    It's not a you thing, it's a him thing.
    Yes. If it happens every time (not just once in a while) then it's pretty likely he's not trying for control at all, or has never learned it. Practicing by himself is the only way to learn.

    EDIT: It's really not just "I don't want to come yet", it's actually just getting the hang of how to hold off physically, clenching the right muscles, etc. And, of course, slowing down for a second if you have to. Just requires desire and practice.

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    I wish I could learn the secret of being able to ejaculate more quickly. About seventy five percent of the time my partner has all the orgasms she is capable of and gets sore or we both become exhausted before I can ejaculate.

    Does anyone know a technique to speed me up?

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    Slow...my hubbie could use the same technique. Sometimes it's great but sometimes i think...GET OFF ME AND GO WHACK IT YOURSELF!

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    My partner usually feels she has in some way been inadequate, which she has not, but it is difficult to convince her of that, and besides she seems to enjoy having me ejaculate inside her.

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    Anyone ever see the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry David gets the Everlast condoms?

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    Default Re: More sex?!

    I once read Everlast is a one man operation that owns a trademark, and licenses it to whoever will pay for it, doesnt actually make anything, so it makes sense anything might c!me with the everlast trademark on it.

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