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Thread: No Respect

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    Member AlwaysGabrielle's Avatar
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    Angry No Respect

    I am sick and tired of having customers ask me for "after hours" treatment and when I turn them down I lose out on money. In a normal shift I have at least three customers ask me to come home with them and when I tell them no they will not give me any more money.... Then I will see them spending money on another dancer How do you personally handle custies like this so that you continue to make money off of them without degrading yourself?
    Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!!

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    If they're strictly interested in finding someone for after hours, forget it. No matter what you do, as long as your answer to that question is not yes, they'll move on. There are some guys who like to get a little appetizer before the party and if you're their type you can make a few bucks with them but they'll still save the bulk of their cash for the after party. I just don't waste much time with the after hours hounds - if they want dances, fine, but as soon as they start asking for after hours play I move on to the next.

    Just don't worry about them because they're not your target market. NEXT!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: No Respect

    For the start you are going to have to accept that a significant percentage of male custy's are first class w*nkers, (in the metaphorical sense of course). They are unable to separate the fantasy inside a strip club from the real world outside of it. They thus expect your behaviour inside it to mirror how you behave outside of it.

    Equally logically from a dancer's point of view, they've found that conforming to [mistaken] male stereotype inside a strip venue enhances their earnings - and no dancer is going to say to a customer; "I'm doing this to earn a living, and I behave completely differently outside." Most customers thus never learn what a dancer really thinks about what she's doing.

    These guys that ask you to meet them outside have a simple equation in their head:

    Takes off clothes inside club = will have sex outside the club.

    The money stops when you demonstrate that equation is not valid. In their minds the problem is not them, but you. They'll then move onto the next dancer, thinking: "well, maybe she'll go home with me".

    I think you're going to have to learn to say no in a very indirect way. Don't turn the guy down flat - just say words to the effect of "well, I have seen customers outside the club, but only after I've got to know them when they've been a few times. You're a nice guy, but at the moment it's too early."

    Leave the guy with the thought that, although the answer is no at the moment, if he continues to spend money he might eventually get the answer he wants. Just choose your words to be sufficiently ambiguous that you're not making an actual promise to go home with him - if he misinterprets what you say, that's his problem.

    You've got to harden your heart on this one: develop the attitude that if the guy shows you so little respect that he's inviting you to come home with him almost immediately on meeting you, then he deserves you manipulating him in order to earn a living.

    What you are not doing is defrauding the guy. He should understand that he's paying you money to see you naked - and that that's the entire transaction. He's got to see you naked, and has thus received full value for money - nothing degrading in that.

    If he choses to have the illusion that there's more on offer: more fool him - you've done nothing wrong.

    Phil.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Just move on. You'll find that those kinds of guys will buy one dance from everyone. You're not really losing out on any money from anybody. If someone was going to keep bugging me to go home with them, I'd just up and leave anyways...not worth the small amount of money I'd get from them anyways.

    Just keep doing what you're doing. Don't worry about the morons who think that you'll go home with them. From what I've heard from a few dancers who have done *OTC* with these types of guys...they're just looking for a freebie, anyways...and usually won't spend money OTC either.

    No loss. Go find another customer who knows why he's really in a club.

  5. #5
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Depending on my mood I'll answer a couple of differnt ways. If he is not spending and invites me to work after hours, I say yes, but I make my prices unreasonably high. In the northwest clubs if I say something like "sure I'd love to entertain you later, my rates are $1500.00 for the first hour and $1000 for each additional hour after." That is usually enough for them to quit asking as I have set my prices waaaaaay out of the ballpark for the local area. Most escorts in Oregon charge around $300 or under for full service.

    If he is spending, I will say something like, "i've already made plans for tonight" and play like he just wants a regular man-getting-to-know-woman date. I will invite him back to the club the next day, but eariler in the shift (invariabily these guys always show up the last two hours that the club is open), and offer to "get to know him better" in the VIP. I have never had anyone show up for the VIP show in this situation. I came close once, but he called and cancled at the last minute. It is kinda funny how different a person feels in a bar late at night after a few drinks compared to how they feel in the daylight

    I KNOW that I have the skills to work the guys. I just don't have the concious. I could be one of those girls who get's cars and other expensive gifts bought for her, but I am not willing to bring on the bad karma that goes along with manipulating the customers.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  6. #6
    Veteran Member RachelleD's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Be careful. I know guys are always asking stupid questions like that, but I was reprimanded once by a manager. He walked by right as some idiot was asking me to go home with him, and I joked, "If you give me a billion dollars I'll think about it." CLEARLY I was joking, & it was my way of turing him down politely so I could still get as much money as possible out of him through lap dances. However the manager pulled me aside a few minutes later and told me that by naming a price (no matter how ridiculous, whether it's a joke or not) if it's an undercover officer I could be arrested for solicitation. So you may want to find a different way to reject these fuckers.
    "She believed she could, so she did." -unknown

    **Rachelle**

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    Senior Member cassidykarma's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    I usually tell them that no one in the club will go home with them (because no one will) and refer them to the classified ads in the paper. Like someone said earlier...this isn't your target market.

  8. #8
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Your profile says you're in Texas. Get used to it, the offers aren't going to diminish. Just keep giggling and saying "maybe" until they stop spending.......

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    Default Re: No Respect

    Forgetta bout it. Those guys want one thing only....they want to take you home. If they arent going to buy a dance or have bought one then I move on.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Member AlwaysGabrielle's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    So I take it these offers are always made in Texas, LOL..... I have been dealing with it for two years now and I am tired of losing out on money.. I feel like I have tried all possible solutions to deal with it, but I suppose I will just have to suck it up and continue the way I am going.
    Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!!

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    Default Re: No Respect

    Most of the time these types will always present the idea to you in the first few songs. If I feel like they at least will spend something I ask for a dance anyway. If they decline then oh well they can keep trying all night just not on me.

    Youre only loosing money if you sit with them longer arguing not to go home with them. You should just get up and leave to find a new customer who does want to buy a dance from you.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  12. #12
    Member AlwaysGabrielle's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Well, most of these guys ask me while I am giving them dances, in the MIDDLE of the dance, and everytime I give them a flat out NO they wont buy anymore dances, claiming they don't have any more money..... And then THATS when I see them with other dancers. It makes me wanna run up to them and kick them in the ding ding!
    Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!!

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    If a guy came up and asked me for after hours treatment, I'd tell him: 'DUDE. I'M A >MAN<'

    but thats just me.

    On topic: Why not just string em along? I mean, 50% of the time, I am sure the offer comes up because something happened that made him think he had a chance. I said 50%. And I am sure 90% of the 50% want to get laid. So whats the harm in a 'Maybe' or '30k' Hell I'd bang a guy for 30k. well.... 40k... yea... 40k. But I'd be the pitcher. And 0 reach around.

    The point is, you can't say Yes if you follow law and club rules. However I'm sure that club rules and law is the furthest thing from your mind when you're rejecting these people. With that in mind, maybe there is a tactful way of either keeping the fantasy alive or letting them down without destroying the fantasy.

    On second thought. 50k. And dinner. I'm an old fashioned girl.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: No Respect

    AlwaysGabrielle

    I have to deal with this several times everytime I work as well. I havent been here long, but the propositions are even worse here in Vegas. Its like they automatically Expect you'll prostitute yourself out for the right price. I lose money to the girls who give nastier dances and who are Im almost 100% sure prostitutes. I hate dancing here. I give clean dances, thats not what most of these men are looking for. I walk out with my dignity at the end of a shift and probably not with the most money. But right now thats ok..I can always go home, which is 2500 miles away-Nevertheless, I can still always go home if need be.
    Til' then I will keep my standards, and thats just the way I will be.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W

    These guys that ask you to meet them outside have a simple equation in their head:

    Takes off clothes inside club = will have sex outside the club.

    The money stops when you demonstrate that equation is not valid. In their minds the problem is not them, but you. They'll then move onto the next dancer, thinking: "well, maybe [u
    she'll[/u] go home with me".

    I think you're going to have to learn to say no in a very indirect way. Don't turn the guy down flat - just say words to the effect of "well, I have seen customers outside the club, but only after I've got to know them when they've been a few times. You're a nice guy, but at the moment it's too early."


    Phil.

    Phil has made a key point. It doesn't matter where you work, many men just don't UNDERSTAND or fail to rationalize that a strip club is A CAREER or JOB, and NOT a social environment.

    If they are married, they most likely have wives who live in flip flops, no makeup, and excess body fat, who just don't turn them on anymore, and they possibly look as bad as their wives.

    Many younger dancers who have boyfriends or guys they are dating, who are insecure with having a dancer in their life, are as ignorant as these customers.

    A dancer who is a decent money earner has to be more of an actress and play with and play off these guys. She can't come out and say I'm only here for the money, I'm married, I only have sex with my husband, and I hate most of the customers. No one will give money to someone who is mean, right?

    A guy who buys one dance to see how far you will go is a test drive customer, and there are many in Texas. He will not buy more than one dance from anyone, unless they give him sexual favors in the club or agree to them after work.

    More and more men want the "real deal" nowadays and that is one reason why this business is on a downward spiral.

    Given the fact that MOST men want sex from a variety of women, in a club environment, every customer is not as blatant about it. Some guys will spend money on dances and then pop the question if they like a dancers company, and if they are more respectful individuals. SOME of these guys who spent money in the club and who are nice, can be sold a private show with no sex involved. The are the compliant ones that you may be able to keep around awhile.

    Other guys are on a conquest when going in the club, to find a girl who "will". These are the pros, and you will never sell them. In Houston though many have enough "manners" to tip the waitresses well and spread $20 around to different dancers until they find a "willing" partner.

    With those types, just graciously put the $20 in your purse, and go on to the next guy hoping you will soon find one who is just in the club to "kick it" with a few drinks and dances with no unreasonable expectations.

  16. #16
    Member EffeZX's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    This question gets asked often enough. Some nights, guys ask more than others.

    Well, wasn't going to mention this but will now.

    The other night, this guy grabs me and says, he has been coming here for over three months and has spent some money on me. He grabs me by the arm and tells me he is ready for me to deliver.

    What do you want me to deliver? I'm already delivering as much as I can. You want more, you need to go someplace else other than here.

    He gets up he goes tell my boss that I have been propositioning him. My boss gets two security guys to grab him and walk him out the door.

    I get a talking to for about five minutes on how that place is a respectable buisiness.

    This whole situation gets me terribly nervous and upset.

    Few nights later, he is there again, he comes over and tells me he wants to take me out to dinner, a movie, go out for a drive and sit and talk near the lake.

    I told him I don't date customers. I smiled and gave him a kiss, I thought he would understand, but he doesn't. He goes into a rant. He gets thrown out.

    By now, management thinks, I am the cause of all the trouble. So, I take the ball, and quit.

    Some months later, at a another joint, its him again! I said, Oh, NO!

    He sees me, I looked at him real angry. He turns away and walks off. Never see him any more. Thank goodness, I say.

    This is one of the strange situations in this buisiness. I am new and I'm really beginning to wonder wheter I can last. Yeah, I can. Keep learning. Keep moving.

  17. #17
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Thank god you didn't get a stalker. I read your post and was actually scared for you :/ Creepy.

    TigersMilk changing her avatar was an evil evil EVIL thing to do.

    ::Mast::
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    And you didn't try to explain the situation to mgmt at all? That guy has most likely done that to other girls - figured out he can get them in trouble by lying like that, and thinks it'll be sufficient pressure for some to give in. Perhaps he's even gotten a score here and there...

    Gotta stand up for yourself in this business. Someone is always ready to run you over if you let them. Sorry that happened to you tho! That guy was an ass!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  19. #19
    Member EffeZX's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Thanks for the replies. As far as the mgmt is concerned. Don't work there and won't work there no more.

  20. #20
    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    You can play them, but Ive found you have to be careful. Id rather just try to get what I can and move on.

    Nobody is worth going to jail over and if you want to have sex for a living go into porn or become an escort.
    AmyLynne

  21. #21
    Member aedj's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    No matter where you are guys will offer and try to take you home, but in the end is a fellony conviction worth it. You never know which ones are the cops.

  22. #22
    Veteran Member Sinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Heh I worked in a club, that is on the beachside across from the hotels. The hotels would bring buisness into the club, but the majority of customers asked to take us girls back to thier hotel after work. It's so rediculous

  23. #23
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: No Respect

    "NO" means nothing to most of these guys. They want to convince a "NO" girl because they think she's "cleaner" than an automatic "yes" girl......kinda like how people avoid the first bathroom stall in Grand Central Station.....

    Some responses: "So, peanut d*ck, you want me to get the manager? He can probably help you out better."

    "Maybe.... but ONLY if you (insert inordinately perverted made-up scenario, possible ending in permanent disfigurement or death for the man)....That would really get me off!" If he says yes, tell the bouncers you have a escaped mental patient who is hiding in the club and needs to be ejected.

    If you can't get money out of them, get a few laughs out of them instead.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina
    Phil has made a key point. It doesn't matter where you work, many men just don't UNDERSTAND or fail to rationalize that a strip club is A CAREER or JOB, and NOT a social environment....A dancer who is a decent money earner has to be more of an actress and play with and play off these guys. She can't come out and say I'm only here for the money, I'm married, I only have sex with my husband, and I hate most of the customers. No one will give money to someone who is mean, right?
    Most men don't want to understand that it's just a career or a job - they go into clubs to fulfil a fantasy. I'll give you good odds that most guys who go into a SC have fantasies, (before or after the visit), of a dancer, (any dancer), coming back to their place and, at the very least, doing some steamy private dances just for him.

    Knowing a dancer's real motivations would cause their dreams to crash and burn, hence Tina's point about being an actress. Dancer's that make $$$'s keep a customer's illusions intact, while keeping their actual dances within the club rules and their own comfort zone. After all, if a custy thinks that if he buys another dance then he might get to sleep with you, then he'll buy the dance. The trick is to keep him thinking it'll just take one more dance.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina
    A guy who buys one dance to see how far you will go is a test drive customer, and there are many in Texas. He will not buy more than one dance from anyone, unless they give him sexual favors in the club or agree to them after work...More and more men want the "real deal" nowadays and that is one reason why this business is on a downward spiral.
    This is the problem of the good old "dancer stereotype" at work - and it's a real catch 22. Leave the guy's illusions intact and he thinks there's more on offer than a dance. Let reality into the equation and he's off to the next girl. Time to earn that Oscar.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina
    Given the fact that MOST men want sex from a variety of women, in a club environment, every customer is not as blatant about it. Some guys will spend money on dances and then pop the question if they like a dancers company, and if they are more respectful individuals....Other guys are on a conquest when going in the club, to find a girl who "will".
    Personally speaking, the thought of paying for sex with a woman, then performing merrily away, knowing all the time she's getting no pleasure out of it and thinks I'm
    a fool/dipshit/sexual inadequate into the bargin is a real turn off for me.

    No thanks, ladies; I'll stick to dances - no requests for sexual services from me.

    Phil.

  25. #25
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: No Respect

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine

    "Maybe.... but ONLY if you (insert inordinately perverted made-up scenario, possible ending in permanent disfigurement or death for the man)....That would really get me off!" If he says yes, tell the bouncers you have a escaped mental patient who is hiding in the club and needs to be ejected.

    If you can't get money out of them, get a few laughs out of them instead.
    LOL! ROTFLOL! How do you do this with a straight face? I GOTTA try it!

    The truth is, lots of guys will ask you out. I tell them I am a dancer, not a prostitute. Then they try ot backpeddal and tell me, they didn't offer to apy me. I look all indignant and say, "I already told you there is not enough money in the workd for me to sleep with you, and now you want me to do it for free!

    You are porbably not going to find a way to get any more money out of these guys b/c, as somebody said, they are just looking to see what they can et away with. You will lose all the extras hounds eventually if you have any self-respect. Doesn't matter how dumb they are, eventually they will figure out that you are not putting out.

    You may get a little more cash up front if you want to play them a lot. Depending on the size and customer volume of your club, it may or may not be worth while to try and string it out for a few songs.

    But please don't feel like it is you personally or that it only happens in Texas. I once walked up to a co worker in a club in Gary, IN, lifted up my bangs, and asked "Do I have BLOWJOBS HERE written on my forehead? (no, of course not) Then why does EVERY idiot I meet ask me for one?!?"

    I have worked in 3 states, and it happens everywhere, as far as I can tell! "I want to take you home" is tacky, yes, but almost complimentary in a ass-backward sort of way. (At least they are not saying "I would never want to take you home in a million years" which is what we want to say to them!) It is not the worst thing I have ever been told, in fact, far from it.


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    --Agnes De Mille

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