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Thread: I REALLY need help

  1. #1
    Pamela
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    Default I REALLY need help

    I have not been feeling well. I quit my corporate job. I am doing work for PETA (please have an open mind) and getting more involved with all the people and animals has been great.

    BUT as i posted to a few on here already...My jobs (well one has already suffered i kinda feel, as i kindly resigned) while i am still doung phone work because i have a ton of faithful customers i also make pretty good money from them. Also i get to live out wild fantasies...Anyway..

    Today i had a call about FOOD. Sounds fair enough, but he wants to pour food all over me while i wear a fur coat, and he kept saying fur coat, FOX fur, MINK, etc.

    I could not steer him away from the FUCKING FUR. So....I hung up! Yep, not good.

    I am very active with PETA at this time. I chose this. I have just put my Boa through surgery of the cranial...Not good, but the animal has been hanging in there for about 72 hours now.

    I just feel i need advice on how not to become too EXTREME! Most of you know i have always been with PETA, but that was only donations every year. Now i do ALOT more.

    I am fucking up with my jobs....BAD. I see fur, i want to rip the bitches head off...REALLY. I see my roomie eat meet, and i pick on him BAD...

    I need to get a grip. I am not sure how to be active, and keep it together too! I have been getting ummm i would say 3 calls a week from people who have sick reptiles....Sheesh. Or a "backyard" dog. "Can i do something"????

    The other night at the shopping center i saw a skinny dog (seen her before) tied outside, the owner appears homless, and i offered to move the dog to the shade, and get him food for her. HE went OFF on me!!!!
    I was wearing my PETA shirt. Maybe this did not help, it's supposed to help.

    Fuck me. I am not going to stop with this group. At the same time i can't do my job/s properly it seems now. Of course my choice. But how do you get a grip when you are so involved with something you love to do, and it interferes with you're life. My one gf called me very extreme. I lost a couple friends over the fur thing (that is my main focus now, as i am getting ready to do a anti-fur protest soon) i see this as well, they wear fur and don't call me anymore.

    Is this a trade off? Also i don't and wont push what i believe in on this board. I made one comment to a female picture about her. She looked very very beautiful, but i said she would look better without the fur. This was months ago. And i let all after that go.

    Sorry so long and i am sure with spelling errors, as i get my head screwed back on for the next fuckin call...

    Thanks, all comments welcome. I am a big girl. And i know i may be extreme!

    Pamela

  2. #2
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Messes with your head, interferes with your job, loose your friends - this sort of sounds like a cult! I mean, it may not try being a cult, but maybe it just kinda is one!

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    Veteran Member MsTopaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    all i have to say is know when to say no. take time to evaluate things and figure out what's important to you. you might have to cut down on the activist stuff until you get a better perspective on the other things in your life. having a cause is good...but don't let it overtake your life. losing your job is not a positive thing...but you already know that.

    why do some people still have to fight to get the same opportunities that are given to others?

    reclusiveness...is a good thing.

    the greatest revenge in the world...is success.


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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    I'm not on board with peta, but there is nothing wrong with you not wanting to do a call that makes you uncomfortable...

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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    You are going to have to realize not everyone shares your views about it when someone goes off. Your also going to have to draw a line and not cross it. What I mean is say your going to help 5 people (or animals ) this week don't go over that number. You did what you could, next week is a new week, do what you can from week to week. You have to do what's right for YOU as long as your happy and are not going broke.
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

  6. #6
    Pamela
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    I have been reading the post so far, and setting goals is one thing i need to do. I also have NO interest in a relationship. I see guys and feel nothing. My hospital job...Shit i have been there so long.

    I seem to be fucking up around this new home i moved into as well. And i don't sleep very well.

    Being a part of PETA does feel good, as i was always for the animals in a big way. Not dancing, and giving all else up, fucking up on a call that could have lasted 30 minutes instead of 10 listening to his fucking fur shit....

    Also my roomie asked me not to wear my fur pin out last night as well. He wanted to go gamble, and we met two other people there. The female asked about my pin (i wore it) and i told her i HATE fur coats. Well her bf, my friend is mad at me for having my opinions.

    So maybe i need to keep my animal voice inside a group who is like me i that way.

    I was given a t-shirt for a protest! Bloody cow face, and it says would you like fries with that. OMG...people around here are SO not wanting kids to see this shirt.

    I freaked out getting food for my python (not Boa as it had surgery) and the fucker banged the head against the wall a few times in front of kids and others at the pet store..SO now i hate petstores, and am looking to buy frozen online.

    I think i have just found another job, another way to show who i am.

    Gosh, i dunno. But i DO LOVE the people at PETA!!!! And i don't blame them, i chose to get involved with animal rights..

    Losing friends because of this. That hurts.

    Pamela

    Pamela

  7. #7
    Veteran Member Clark's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    I'm an ethical vegetarian, though not involved with PETA as I diagree with many of their views. I've always tried to jusdt be pragmatic. I suck up the passion and try to save it for a time when it actually might do some good.

    Having friends that enjoy discussing this sort of thing can help as well.

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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    That's too bad about the guys, I can hear the hearts breaking!
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

  9. #9
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    I guess my only input would be that I too have convictions that I hold to aggressivly.

    Katherine's right. Step back. Look.

    Also, don't try to change the world. Just yourself. I have two best friends who are gay. As a result I taylor my gay humor to that which would not be offensive. IMO. My friends go crazy on it. Gay this and Fag that. Its unnerving at times. One of my best friends is struggling with Racism, he doesn't want to be Racist, but he finds himself snapping on a Black guy quicker and ripping on his race and it makes him uncomfortable.

    The point is, their problems make them no less my friends, or people I care for. And I try to look at them as uneducated. Not intentionally assholic

    My father told me, that to laugh and joke about something serious, is to understand how serious it is. No one can be serious all the time. Joke about your convictions, remind yourself you're human, it doesn't make you any less of person.

    I make fun of people drinking and driving a lot. I just have good material with it. But one of my friends girlfriend addressed me as heartless about it, and I told her not to judge me based on what I say to my closest friends or do regarding something that isn't going on, but judge me about what I'll do if I catch you trying to get behind the wheel of a care inibriated. <I lost a good friend to a Drinking and Driving accident years ago <he was in the passenger seat hit by the oncomming DD> and I joke about it, because it makes me think about him and how we where when he was alive, not how he died.>

    In short, someone I know makes fun of fat people. Cool? No. But when one was on her beach gasping for air, she didn't think twice about saving her life.

    Seeing someone walk down the street in a fur may be because she's loaded, or it may be because she's uneducated. You may be the last book anyone ever reads. Use you're impression properly.

    Bringing it all together, Pam, you're a great person, maybe some separation is needed, do some things not related to any other professions, seperate yourself from that, relax, and be able to make humor of the things you hate most. It makes the hate go away. But don't lose you're convictions, they make you who you are. Being in PETA or not wouldn't change your love for the well being of animals.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  10. #10
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Wow, Pam, I am so sorry.. I can't stand people that don't take care o their dogs. I literally treat mine like children and they are NEVER alone for more than five hours. Some people call it extreme, I call it love. These things can't speak for themselves, so you are the one doing.
    Pleace don't be ashamed of your own goodness, not everyone agrees, some people are just more selfish if themselves, that's all.
    If you don't like reactions to your shirts or pins, don't wear them, but if you really want to wear them, then go ahead. I don't think you're being too extreme, it's not fair that your friends aren't letting you be yourself, but then again, if you want to tone it down, do it. Try to stay yourself, I guess. While trying not to offend everyone else, it's a tough deal, that's for sure.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  11. #11
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela
    (please have an open mind)
    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela
    BAD. I see fur, i want to rip the bitches head off...REALLY. I see my roomie eat meet, and i pick on him BAD...
    To me, this is a logical disconnect. Perhaps the advice to "have an open mind" would work to keep your own view of the world, and your energies toward it, a bit more balanced.

    There's motivations for things that people do, and even though you may not like it, it doesn't mean their motivations are bad or they're bad people.

  12. #12
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Pam, what about Fake fur? Do you agree with people wearing that? If so, how can you tell the difference?

  13. #13
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay Zeno
    To me, this is a logical disconnect. Perhaps the advice to "have an open mind" would work to keep your own view of the world, and your energies toward it, a bit more balanced.

    There's motivations for things that people do, and even though you may not like it, it doesn't mean their motivations are bad or they're bad people.
    I have to agree with Jay here, Hon. You ask everyone to keep an open mind, but you have to do the same with people. Unfortunately with PETA, it's their way or no way. I don't agree with wearing fur myself (In fact, I feel that the only ones who should be wearing fur are the animals themselves.) It sickens me when people wear real fur, but I'm not going to join the ranks of PETA to express my disgust, I can do that one-on-one and don't need an army of protesters with me.

    What I know of PETA, I don't like. They're violent, hateful people in general. Individually, I'm sure they are fine. But get them together in a massive group, and watch out!

    The only advice I can give you (as I'd give you with any major choice in your life), is don't lose yourself. Don't detach yourself from the rest of the world, or you'll miss opportunities.

    I wish you luck with this.


  14. #14
    Pamela
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Thank you ALL so very much!!! The rest of the day went better!!! I wore my shirt all day and kept my mouth shut, except for seeing a dog tied way in a backyard in my new area.

    I only said how i felt to my roomie however. I love helping animals, and know i can't save them all. But damn wering a shirt and holding signs you expect reactions. Just wearing a shirt about animals abuse and getting questions and reactions (some not very nice) sucks.

    But i MADE myself wear a shirt today, and feel GOOD. I handle this well now, as i have had friends jump down my throat about PETA. Fuck em i guess, they and i will get over it.

    I plan on getting pictures of a protest soon!!! And a fur and snake skin picture with real animals as best i can too!!!

    I just needed to get my head clear. I have rules, and dancing rules are there, but you can act as you wish with snobs. Not so with people who own animals and don't understand that dog tied to a leash 24/7 needs a walk!!!

    So i am getting some brochures and keeping it toned down. As i was toned down towards the public, i was just bitting all my friends and roomies heads off...

    Thank you ALL again!!!!

    Pamela

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Want to make a difference and still have a semblance of normalcy in your life?

    You don't have to join a radical organization; merely live and lead by example.

    Two cents.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  16. #16
    Featured Member discretedancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Pamela, you know we're on the same wavelength for animal rights...and I have a group I was too involved with for a while..so I know where you're at. A few thougts:

    1. Don't let anyone...a stranger, friend, SW, yourself (sorta) or even PETA define ALL your views as good or bad. Not every thing a group does/says is perfect...make sure you are defined by YOUR beliefs and as many group or independent missions it takes

    2. Try to be an "education by example" for others....SHOW them why your way is better...don't get mad at them for their current understanding of the facts.

    3. Accept that there are some people who will always choose what we define as "wrong" - calmly debate the ones that are interested in debate, and accept the others without (visible) anger. AS LONG AS THEY HAVE NOT OR ARE NOT CAUSING HARM NOW. PREVENT OR STOP the violent felons (not fur wearers but animal abusers) and prosecute them ...LEGALLY

    3. balance your time between groups and passions...that way an insult to or issue with any one won't destroy or overly tick you off

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Keep on truckin pam! Good luck.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  18. #18
    Pamela
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    *Muah* to all of you!

    Yep last night i hit a person with a camera, and we did a few shots of the snakes with snake skin boots. Now i will just get my word out!!!!!

    Strange how our lives change.....

    Pamela

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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Pamela,

    I completely understand where you are coming from. I, too, am a member of PETA, and the same things you've mentioned hit me hard as well. I hate seeing the skinny, undernourished puppy at the local bookstore with his homeless owner. It breaks my heart.
    Sometimes, when you feel so strongly about something, it changes your life in ways you'd never imagine and sometimes in ways you never wanted. Losing friends over things like differences in beliefs is really hard. It is a lose-lose situation. You want to stay true to what you believe in but you also want to keep people you love around you. If you sacrifice what you believe in, you lose respect for yourself, and if you lose your friends, you feel like an extremist. Trust me, I know. This has happened to me with family members.

    If a caller makes you uncomfortable, then can him. Everyone has their limits. Certainly you can't expect yourself to take everything. Don't feel bad about that.

    Please feel free to pm/email/whatever me anytime! I love PETA and don't find enough people to talk to that feel the same way. If you need someone to commiserate with, I'm always here.




    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

  20. #20
    Senior Member candy courtland's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    ever since peta took animals from various shelters and euthinized them, then through them in dumpsters so they can rot ihave lost all my respect for them. i agree entirely that those who cant speak (animals and children) we have to speak uop for. but there are ways to do that without coming across ass rude, crass, or psychologically damaging children( pictures of bloody animals, pictures of how hot dogs are made, blah,blah, blah...i liken this same mentality to anti abortionists and those god fearing church people who protested matthew shepperds funeral. everyone has there own oppinion, some are interested and some are not as im sure you know. just like some people feel that stripping is immoral well others don't.

  21. #21
    Pamela
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Quote Originally Posted by hardkandee
    Pamela,

    I completely understand where you are coming from. I, too, am a member of PETA, and the same things you've mentioned hit me hard as well. I hate seeing the skinny, undernourished puppy at the local bookstore with his homeless owner. It breaks my heart.
    Sometimes, when you feel so strongly about something, it changes your life in ways you'd never imagine and sometimes in ways you never wanted. Losing friends over things like differences in beliefs is really hard. It is a lose-lose situation. You want to stay true to what you believe in but you also want to keep people you love around you. If you sacrifice what you believe in, you lose respect for yourself, and if you lose your friends, you feel like an extremist. Trust me, I know. This has happened to me with family members.

    If a caller makes you uncomfortable, then can him. Everyone has their limits. Certainly you can't expect yourself to take everything. Don't feel bad about that.

    Please feel free to pm/email/whatever me anytime! I love PETA and don't find enough people to talk to that feel the same way. If you need someone to commiserate with, I'm always here.

    Thanks hun i will keep you in mind. As i found those near me (my county and more south) are for PETA but actualy don't want to get involved out of fear. Hmm, i am not that way. However i do know my limits. I am sorting out the way to be nice to people who do not believe what i do. I NEVER got this kind of shit while stripping...Never!!!

    BUt again today as i work the phones some and tend to my Boa who's face is starting to swell up again, i will relax.

    My roomie and i talked, he is afraid the house will get nailed or something. He is a worry wart anyway.

    I only wear PETA on my body, as i don't do stickers on my cars, and only have a sticker on the door incase a fire breaks out i want them to know i have animals and what area they are in!!

    Other than that i am being cool. Donating and learning, and doing pitbull rescue was ojne side of PETA...Getting active by wearing clothing etc. WHOA!

    But hell i am ready to take it on!!!

    Thansk for all opinions, be for or against PETA. I understand.

    Pamela EDIT: spelling errors

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Pam, as you know, you are one of my fave posters here, I think you're awesome and if this were anyone else I wouldn't probably respond...

    I would suggest that you find another organization to join. I believe that at one time PETA was well intentioned but like many things, they have morphed in to something that they never intended to originally be. Fighting for animal rights is fine...I don't like to see animals mistreated and I have a dog that is like my best friend. But I also don't think that using animals to test AIDS drugs or cancer treatments on is unethical. If PETA had their way, we would all be vegetarians and medical science would grind to a near halt.

    I'd suggest maybe doing something with the ASPCA or something like that. PETA tends to be sensationalistic and media-hungry but never really seems to accomplish much other than raising money and keeping the program moving. I'd much rather be involved in an enterprise that wants to help animals than one that seems to be more interested in pissing people off and pushing an agenda on people.

    I hope you take this the right way...by no means do I want to make you more upset than you were, and if this is not the advice you wanted, then please please ignore me.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    hit a person with a camera
    That doesn't sound like something a rational person does. No matter the cause. I don't know much about PETA but from what I've read here it seems like it's not too far from the radical groups who bomb(ed) abortion clinics. I can't see how resorting to violence, rudeness, sensationalism, etc accomplishes much to actually help animals.

    I agree with Mr Hyde it sounds like this is not the right group for you Pam. You say yourself you don't feel good about the way things are going and it's screwing your life up. I think Hyde's advice is right on. Try hooking up with a group that is more positive and proactive, rather than radical and reactionary.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  24. #24
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Pam, I would honestly say that you don't have a problem. Except for hitting people with cameras - that does nothing but release aggression. You're not educating anyone who enacting justice for anyone. You're just hitting people. I would try not doing that.

    For the rest - people can be weirdly aggressive about animal rights. I know that a lot of people will tell me that vegetarians/animal rights people can be aggressive too, but I've only seen that once. Every (well, practically) every meat eating person I know feels the need to needle me about meat or not eating meat. The only person I have ever pressured was my boyfriend - we lived together and I hated meat smells in the apartment. I asked him to give up meat for 3 months, and if at the end he really felt that quality of his life had been diminished I would never mention it again (I was completely lying - I would have mentioned it again). We are broken up now, but he still doesn't eat meat. With everyone else I say two words when they ask if I mind if they eat meat "Your karma." And then they "jokingly" threaten to throw meat into my food, because I don't eat food that has touched meat, and they make a point of graphically describing the killing process or the texture of meat or they say "Do you eat chicken? Do you eat fish? Do you eat eggs? Do you eat cheese? Do you eat honey?" looking for the answer that they can resond to with "Huh. Hypocrite." And there are a thousand variations. There is a reason people do this with any kind of animals rights work - that people feel implicitly judged if you have "sacrificed" something that they are unwilling to sacrifice for an ethical reason. They, in a nutshell, have some idea that what they are doing isn't nice but they do it anyway because it is easier, or tastes better or whatever and you're not participating in a cultural blindness that makes it okay. They don't like that. They want you to become strident and angry so that they can describe you as an extremist and discount you. They aren't planning it or anything or even trying to be mean - it just sort of makes them feel better about their choices. However you are not there to make them feel better about their choices. You don't have to do it just because they want you to. Anyway it sounds like your friends have to get used to you. You can assure them that you are not judging them, or that you are judging them as little as possible (if you wanted to be really honest). Or, conversely, you can find friends that share your ethics - which is sometime easier, although I wouldn't go for that myself. If you really can't stand someone wearing fur you can ask them not to when you have made plans together. Tell her that you will not launch into a diatribe describing how they kill chinchillas if she will not wear her coat. Then both of you can be happy.

    It sounds to me like you are a person who is dedicated. That's a good thing, not a bad thing. And everyone - PETA doesn't blow people up. Even ALF (which is a terrorist movement) doesn't blow people up - they attempt property damage to prevent the business trade related to animal cruelty. The vast majority of their "work" is in gluing locks and drilling holes in roofs. I'm not saying that this is legal, I'm just saying it is a far cry from planting a bomb in a hospital. They have a mandate against harming animals, and people are animals. For the specific phone job that you mentioned - tell him that it has to be faux because you are anti-fur. Or tell him you are allergic to fur. The truth sometimes works real well for this sort of thing.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: I REALLY need help

    Hit a person with a camera?

    I took that to mean she "hit up" a person with a camera to take pics. Right? Maybe I misunderstood.

    And thanks, Jenny, for bringing up that PETA is not a terrorist group. Like you, I would never force my beliefs or lifestyle on anyone, but it is amazing how hostile some people get anyway.

    And Pam, have you gotten frozen rats for your boa before? If not, don't buy too many off the bat. There is a chance that they won't take. Some snakes can be pretty particular about their foods and will refuse frozen rats.



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