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Thread: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

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    Member charismaticenigma's Avatar
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    Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Here is what happened:

    Last night (7-16-05), I decided to head out to my favorite club. I get there, talk to some friends, have a drink, and get a big hug from my favorite dancer. We talk for a bit, and we go to have a couple of dances. This is where it gets interesting. She takes me to the "Dark Corner" of the bar. When someone goes to the "Dark Corner", well something fun always happens, lets just put it that way. Anyway, she has NEVER taken me into the "Dark Corner", so I immediately, and silently, put my guard up. We get through the first dance ok, then during the second dance, she kisses me...I mean REALLY kisses me...deep french kiss...she has NEVER done that before. Afterwards she tells me she really likes me and that she wants to make this more than a buisness relationship. I kinda brush it off thinking she is running the old Girlfriend Experience Play, and I give her the money, and a tip, for the dance. She asked me to stick around while she puts up her money. She comes back two minutes later and gives me the tip back!!! She said she couldnt accept it, and that she didnt want our relationship to be that way?! She also gave me her cell number AND her home number and asked me for my numbers (cell and home) and kisses me hard again!! Now...due to some bad experiences with girls growing up, (I was a brutally teased fat kid) I have some trust issues when it comes to women. Do you think that she really sees something in me, and wants an actuall relationship, or am I being played....AGAIN!!! Usually, I can sense bull sh** from a mile away, but on this one, I am just not sure. HELP!!!

    CE
    Charismatic Enigma

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    I think instead of a tongue....she shoulda used a bat.

    YES SHE HAS INTEREST. Now to what extent you will only know if you call.

    Did you spend a asston of money on this person? Was she shitfaced?

    Eitherway, she couldn't have made herself more clear if she hit you with a buick.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Do you think that she really sees something in me, and wants an actuall relationship, or am I being played....AGAIN!!!
    Why not both?

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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Just call her, ask her out and see what happens. Why all the angst? Yes, she may be hosing you but you have two options here: Find out now or find out six months and many hundreds of dollars from now.
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    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    I'm not buying this.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    When this happens the first time you meet a dancer, she may have borderline personality disorder. If it happens after you've known her a while, she may be going through an emotional crisis (relationship breaking up, parent dying).

    Either way, it probably won't last. Think of it as an emotional rollercoaster ride. Maybe you can help her gain some self-awareness about her situation.

    Give her your picture and an old shirt to wear. Let her feel close to you without spending much time and money on her. Make her understand that you're a very busy guy.

    Don't have actual sex with a BPD girl. Go to Blockbuster and rent Fatal Attraction, my favorite BPD horror movie.

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    Veteran Member alicia0033's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    I'm not buying this either

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Wow. Someone had his Assumption Gun aimed.

    wouldn't "Favorite Dancer" insinuate a prior business related involvement.

    You gn0 I <3 U sporty.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    yeah...i don't really buy this either. Watch yourself, she might be just trying to get ya to come to the club more often to get money out of you. But i guess if you wanna give it a try, go into the relationship not expecting anything that way you can't get hurt.
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

    End violence against women.
    I support Dottie.


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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    hannah: wiser words have never been spoken of all relationships. Why close an open door out of fear. Just understand anything maybe on the otherside of that open door.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Member EffeZX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    It won't be me.

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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    CE, you have to understand that to some dancers, DFK is nothing. They don't have the affectional and sexual limits you might expect. You wonder "why me?" and a hundred other guys have wondered the same thing.

    She gave you back the tip. It's called "leaving money on the table," and it's a sales tool. She knows you'll be more likely to come back next time.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    "My Girlfriend sucked thirty six dicks! I mean, What do you say to that?"
    "..."
    "At least I wasn't 35."
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Veteran Member Santos's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Just call her. See if she wants to go out. If her actions are anything other than those of a non-dancer you might date, you will know she's not for real. The phone call won't cost you anything.

    If the subject of money comes up early, or she starts dropping hints about needing things, you are being played, and you should politely but quickly walk away.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Run.

    Like hell.

    Right now!








    That is all...






    (Fact is, ladies, this type of shit happens. But it's almost NEVER the type of girl that HE wants it to be. 99.999999999999% of the time it's something else. Something he should be on the lookout for anyway. Some people are very adept at maliciously lying rather than innocently lying. You can not buy it all you want, but that just tells me you aren't out there to do it.)

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    Member shaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    it would be the same thing in reversed roles...

    "guy falls for dancer"
    but he falls for "chastity" and not "sarah"

    "girl falls for customer"
    but she falls for "money spender" not .."whoever you are"

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Shaz, that is so much bullshit!

    No guy would fall for a dancer named "Chastity!"



    hehe

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    Member shaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    he could like a challenge? LOL
    no point falling for the chick you KNOW puts out?
    j/k

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Is this for real? Is there really a guy out there who wouldn't understand that situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Personally, if I really wanted something with a guy that I met in the club, I would take it outside the club and conduct everything there. That way, I could tell if there was some real chemistry there instead of confusing it with the sexually charged atmosphere of an SC. I most likely wouldn't pash them in there either, but that is my opinion.

    I'm not doubting that she may be after you, but I would check out the relationship so far to see what you might be up against; have you spent heaps of dough on her already? Do you already give her gifts? Do you visit the club a lot? If you spoil her, chances are that she may want to take it up to the next level and exploit you. Or maybe she appreciates your generosity and has fallen for your personality. I guess that's up to you to decide but you'll never know unless you meet her outside the club and see how she reacts and how you both feel.
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    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette
    Is this for real? Is there really a guy out there who wouldn't understand that situation?
    Well, there are at least six possibilities, in roughly decreasing order of likelihood: 1) Troll; 2) DFK Phone-Swap Marketing Play; 3) Let's Get Serious In the Club Upsell; 4) Sporty's BPD Emotional Crisis Scenario; 5) OTC Introduction or 6) The Real Deal.

    It's difficult to choose one of these without knowing the intensity of their connection, don't you think? Even for those of us who've dated dancers and have a marginally more realistic grip on reality, there has to be a litmus test. For me that test is: Until something real happens outside the club over a period of time and no cash is involved there, it's all club play.

    Oh, one other concern: What the hell is a guy who has "trust issues" doing in a strip club?

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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Those where the days my friends... something similar happened to me but without the phone number and the "wanna be more than business" thing and the kisses... SIGH



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    Veteran Member Miss_Eliza's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    First I would go get some threapy for your trust issues. If you go into anything exspecting to be used. then you'll see it even were it isn't. Then you'll just drive away anyone that is or was for real. So if you can't be with a women with out double thinking every nice thing or everything she does, then you are not ready for a relationship.
    and don't cry about being used in past relationships. You can't judge a new girls actions on your past girlfriends behavour. When you look at the past look at your own behavour patterns. this is a big clue of were things went wrong. this is true for all of us.

    So really think about if you can really date anyone. If you think you can. Then call her. be up front about the fact that if this starts you can not see her inside the club for awhile. Say you know that you'll be too jealous. Don't be afraid to talk about money. Do you spend X number of dollars a month on her ? If so then bring it up. after you tell her you can't see her in the club if you two are going to see each other. then say you relalize that you give her X ammout a month then ask if she'll be ok with out that.
    If she wants the money she'll back out. Then you can leave it were it is. And if see would rather be with you then you know.

    let us know what you do. and best wishes.
    You say psycho like it's a bad thing

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    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    this guy is another loser like westtxhottie and the other guys claiming to date dancers. We see right through losers like these guys.
    AmyLynne

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    Default Re: Ok....NOW I'M CONFUSED!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by amylynnej
    this guy is another loser like westtxhottie and the other guys claiming to date dancers. We see right through losers like these guys.
    Well, someone is out there dating these girls, but i have to admit there does seem to be an awful lot of guys who do make that claim here. However, I don't think that was what CE was saying. I think he's saying he doesn't know what this girl means/wants really.

    Personally, i think he's on the business end of a scam. But that's just me. I mean, it's not like that stuff doesn't ever happen in a strip club.
    Last edited by Madcap; 07-19-2005 at 06:01 AM.

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