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Thread: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

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    Default EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Hi everybody,
    I just started dancing recently. I live in Seattle (where theres no alcohol or stage tipping so hustle isnt very good) and I work in a club thats kind of known for extras. I am pretty good at selling the dances, but once I start, the guy wants a lot more than I'm willing to do. I am not a ho and I'll tell a guy if hes going too far, but at the same time, all the other clubs in the area are so slow, I'd never make any $. Sometimes I let a guy touch my tits or my ass, but nothing more. Maybe I don't have good morals, but as long as I'm getting extra tips, I'm down w/ the customer getting a little feely. The other girls in my club though are doin BJs and HJs, which i will not do! I'm just wondering where everyone else draws the line and what extras you're willing to do. THanks!

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    ::runs to get the popcorn for this one::


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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    I have worked all over the United States, so I draw the line depending on what club/city I am working in. An extra is defined as anything that goes against the rules of the club. Therefore, no I have never and would never have intercourse, do a bj or a hj, because of moral standards that I hold for myself, and because of club rules. What is considered an extra in one club maybe considered the norm in another city/club. For example, I have danced at some clubs where if you sit on the guys lap, that is considered to be an "extra" and I have worked at other clubs where full (one way) contact dances are the norm, so it just depends on the club, and the moral standards that you set for yourself.
    "There is an inner beauty about a woman who believes in herself, who knows she is capable of anything she puts her mind to. There is a beauty in the strength and determination of a woman who follows her own path, who isn't thrown off by obstacles along the way. There is a beauty about a woman whose confidence comes from experience. Who knows she can fail, pick herself back up and go on... This woman is you. You are strong, you have inner and outer beauty, you are amazing" (anonymous).

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    well if it's contact (boobs, butt) at your club then it's not an extra.

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    BREEZY ----I am guessing it's against the rules but accepted right? (touching that is)


    I allow touching depending on the club I work for... Less is more for me.
    I hold their hands if I am not comfortable with something. ***touching***

    That's as far as it goes for me...anything else would make me feel dirty.
    "may your work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no-one is watching, screw like your being filmed and drink like a true Irishman "--anonymous
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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    What if the club management is ok with it, but it's illegal. And what if 90% of the other girls are doing it ( for whatever their price is)? Would things still be considered extra's even if it is the norm?

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    breezy: If you're uncomfortable, no amount of money makes it ok.

    Its kinda scary when someone will concider giving a HJ or a BJ when the money is good. I know its alluring, but you aren't going to get a bunch of us saying 'PUT OUT THE HJ' for the $$. Stick to your morals and only do what you're willing to do. Period

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Well at the club I'm currently at, we're not supposed to grind on the customer, but no one abides by that rule. Secondly in WA, there is no liquor and the only nudity is onstage which is 5 ft. rom the customers. So the dances are supposed to be in bikinis the entire time. Obviously a guy isn't going to want to pay $20 for a bikini dance, so we all flash, but cover up when management is watching. SOme of the more modest girls in the club only let guys suck their tits a little and grind on the guy's crotch, but for the most part, theres a lot of other stuff going on. I know this isn't the best club to work in, but I am a full time college student and need to pay for tuition, rent, and bills. I'll do some extras for $, but I draw the line at any skin-skin contact. Is this wrong and should I switch clubs even if its less money?

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    What do YOU think? Are YOU comfortable. Is the money worth it to YOU?

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    Veteran Member Foxey's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Hey Breezy, stick with your guns. Don't go any further than you personally are comfortable with or you will just end up hating yourself. I don't know if this is an option from you but I'm originally from Vancouver BC which is only 2 hours north of you. The money up there can be wicked good and the extras aren't that bad (touching your tits and ass in a lap dance is the worst it gets, and even then that's for extra cash) so you might want to check it out. I highly recommend working at No. 5 Orange. If ya need any info e-mail me a [email protected]
    In a black light trance, then go go dance...

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    If youre uncomfortable no matter how much money you earn from your extras you will feel like crap after the shift for doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Just check on your local SC laws before you do a bunch of stuff. Personally, if you dont like your club why not change clubs? Unless the next one is really really far from you or is worse than your current club.
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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    We draw the line where we feel comfortable. I've danced all over and look for clubs where I can make money within my own comfort zone. That's really the best way to maximize your money because once you start making compromises with yourself, it's more destructive than it's worth and leads to quicker burnout. You have to explore different clubs too, because sometimes you can make money in places that you'd never think you would. Some clubs attract fewer customers but they're bigger spending clientele that are easier to manage, some clubs attract more customers who spend less. You can make money in either place but you'll make MORE in one over the other, depending on your work style and comfort level.

    Don't worry about what anyone else thinks is good, worry about what YOU are ok with and work with that.

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    The more I read this website, the more I appreciate my local club, it's so well lit up there is no way anyone could possibly do any 'extras', there is no 'VIP room', so the dancers are just selling dances, they don't have to worry about any of these issues so they can just relax and do the job... this scene with guys constantly pushing for more seems like a big hassle, obviously for the dancers, but I don't think I would enjoy that atmosphere as a customer either.... anywayI say just do what feels comfortable, don't push your limits for a few bucks... if the rules/law/management where you're at make it too difficult to make enough money, maybe you could travel to work somewhere else...

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    I see three classes of contact you are concerned about :

    A - the overt sexual stuff - HJ, BJ, intercourse - thats easy
    B - what the club allows either by written or verbal rule, and what is the de facto accepted
    C - then the gray area; this always depends on how over the line it is for you and the liklihood of getting into trouble

    I read from what you said that C for you is going on in the club. Remember at other clubs or in other municipalities some of these things are accepted or not accepted as legal. In this location in nude clubs nude dancing with moderately hard contact is allowed, two-way is also allowed, except for the genital/anal areas. All VIP rooms are CCTV monitored so not much can be hidden. Ironically this would be illegal in some other places and if caught it would go on your permanent record card.

    I think the hardest thing about dancing is appealing to your customers and staying out of trouble. It is where you will have to adapt your style and hope that some nerd doesn't make trouble. We all hope for the best for you.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Most men are always going to push for more regardless what is allowed. The club I work at is no contact on the customer's behalf but we do grind on the lap. Most will try to touch but you have to make the rules clear and fornuately we have bouncers close by that enforce these rules as well. Don't ever do more than you feel comfortable, it's not worth your precious soul.

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Breezy--

    I used to frequent a club in the Seattle area where quite a few dancers provided extras, but lots of dancers who played by the rules (ok, maybe with a little flashing) made as much money as the dancers trying to hustle HJs and up. A nice smile, eye contact, and a couple minutes of halfway interested conversation still do wonders. Oh, and dancing well, too.

    Tippy

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Washington state has such strict laws that they actually encourage what they are trying to prevent.

    Following the ridiculous laws that are on the books would basically result in no customers and no clubs.

    No liquor in any club makes the customer count less. Washington has ridiculous liquor laws all the way around.

    You basically have to do what YOU are comfortable with as far as customer contact is concerned since leaving the state to dance isn't an option.

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    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Don't take this as me being a bitch at all, please. You're trying to make yourself feel better about pushing the limit a little. It's like saying "I was at a party, everyone was snorting coke and doing heroin, but I just took a couple puffs off a blunt. That doesn't make me as guilty as them." If you're breaking the clubs laws or rules, you're just as guilty. You're just trying to figure out how guilty you are. We've all tried to justify something we did. If you're comfortable doing it, carry on. You're the one who has to live in your skin. You seem fine with it, and you know your boundaries. Continue on doing what you feel is right. If you don't feel good, or feel like you have to "keep up with the Joneses" to make decent money, then leave. Don't compromise who you are or what you believe.


    On the subject of getting raided. I go to an all nude, "no contact", BYOB showbar. Most of the girls give two-way full contact dances, even though it's supposed to be against the club rules. Some of them give extras in the back rooms, even though it's illegal and obviously against club rules. They are keeping with the club norms however. Non-alcohol serving, or BYOB clubs tend to get raided less often, as they draw less attention from the licquor nazis. But, if the big wigs start hearing too much about hijinks in the club, they might bust it.
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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    If any one is giving out blow jobs and hand jobs, why not just become a prostitute. It seems exactly the same to me?

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    An extras stripper can be a lot more discriminating with her clientelle. If she's just going to give them to everyone who buys a dance, though, I agree.

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Hooking is hooking and stripping is stripping. There's definately a solid line for me. I consider hand jobs, blow jobs, and sex hooking. A full contact lap dance is still just stripping. Personally I'd never cross that line not for anyone not for any amount of money. I hate it when customers don't understand that there is a difference. "Hey asshole just because you don't have any morals doesn't mean that I don't!"
    In a black light trance, then go go dance...

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Know what you're comfortable with and stick with it. Just make sure to make it very clear to the johns in the club so that you don't leave yourself to be assaulted. It's one thing to promise that you'll go to a vip room and have fun together w/ a nude show, and another to just nod when he asks for a particular extra and not deliver the goods. You don't have to be overly defensive, but you should be smart that you work in a brothel and more could be asked for.

    I've seen girls start doing extras, because they were offered an exhorbent amount of money, but then hate themselves because they didn't want to do it in the first place. I've also seen nymphos make bank because they could work in a club and not worry about being prosecuted for their actions. You sound like you're doing okay, but make sure you know the difference between working as a stripper and working as a hooker. It really is a commitment to one or the other, especially in your self-identity.
    ...and the day came, when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became worse than the risk it took to blossom.

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Quote Originally Posted by foreignvisitor
    we are all just selling sex so what difference does it make what we do?

    cara

    What difference does it make?? There is a HUGE difference. We're selling the illusion of sex. we're a fantasy, NOT reality.
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Um, from the splooging in his pants thread, if that's SOP for you then why isn't that an extra? I mean, what makes a hand so special--if you give a great butt job deliberately trying to get him off, then isn't that prostitution instead of stripping?

    In Japan they had to designate certain subway cars to be for women only since men will grope and rub against the women for pleasure; accepting money to do it sounds a lot like prostitution to me! Frottage, French for 'rubbing' seems to have been co-opted by gay men, though it applies here, too!

    Now for the record, I'm just dealing semantics here--I'd LIKE to keep getting lap dances and not worry about if it's actually prostitution--I guess since I haven't come yet during one I'm in the clear!

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    Default Re: EXTRAS!-where do I draw the line?

    Quote Originally Posted by breezy206
    I'll do some extras for $, but I draw the line at any skin-skin contact. Is this wrong and should I switch clubs even if its less money?
    The way I see it, there are four boundaries. The dancer's own comfort level, the club norms, the club rules and the Law. The best workplace is when those are in close alignment, but that is frequently not the case. I tend to think of their importance in the order that I listed them.

    I don't like to be beyond my own comfort level (call it "morals" if you wish) for obvious reasons. I also don't like to be beyond the club norms (that is, what most dancers actually do in practice, sometimes beyond the stated rules). If the norms get too far apart from my comfort level, I tend to want to leave. I like being within the norms because, to me, everyone needs to tow about the same line for the sales pitch to work for everyone. If you get too many dancers offering services beyond what have been the norms, then it can mess up your sales pitch and your effort to stay within your comfort level because, basically, the norm-breakers are establishing new norms (lower standards). I don't have any moral objections against someone with different comfort levels than I have, I just think there needs to be a general community standard that's consistently upheld for business reasons. Call it quality control if you will.

    Then there's the Law. That varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction (that is, different cities or states have different levels of restrictions and enforcement), but frequently, the actual Law is so restrictive that it would be business suicide to follow it to the letter, and management often won't even tell you what is illegal. It's good to know what the Law is, and the potential penalties, since you're probably going to be outside it, even if only a little bit sometimes. Often, whether you're within or outside the Law is a matter of subjective interpretation by the one prosecuting it. Regardless, you'll be the one fined and/or arrested if you happen to be unlucky enough to serve an undercover officer something that's beyond the Law. And if they come in the club, they're sure to pick out something that qualifies as beyond the Law. Hopefully, minor things that warrant slaps on the wrist, but if they wanted to, I'm sure they could make a case in any club to charge prostitution in connection with some act of some sort, even one that you might not think ordinarily would qualify as such.

    As with most things, the farther outside the Law and/or the rules you are, the more risk there is in getting caught and suffering consequences from getting caught, but the amount of risk is directly proportional to how much of a bug some club manager or politician has up his ass to enforce the rules or Law at any given time. Also, pray that your club management hasn't drawn attention to themselves by pissing off the enforcers of the Law.

    -Ev

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