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Thread: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

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    Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    I'm going to be auditioning soon. I know I have a hot bod. I'm great at dancing. But the problem is, when I get in front of anyone I get sooooo nervous. Its like I think too much. I love going to clubs and I really want to do it, (besides the fact I really need the money.) Any suggestions in how to get over my insecurity? My husband says the lights on stage will make it to where I can't see that great. I guess that might help.

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    Veteran Member bella622's Avatar
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    Default Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    Hugs...

    Dancing is not for everyone. I think most girls are nervous the first time (or 2)... Although it may seem easier to not look at people while you are dancing, It seems that you will make more $$$ by making eye contact with people in the audience.

    Its really kinda strange how natural it becomes to dance around naked in front of a bunch of strangers... Once you do it a few times (and start to make some $$$) I bet you will lose most of your inhibitions about it.

    But like I said... This job isn't for everyone... All I can really suggest is to try it and see how it goes... Best of Luck to ya!!!
    Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul... - Marilyn Monroe

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    Default Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    Go for your audition. Theres nothing you can really do to get over your insecurity/fear other than just by doing it.

    After youve gotten naked and did your lil dance in front of a bunch of strangers...do it again and again. If you dont feel better, get anxiety or feel sick in any way after a good month maybe then I would say to look for another club or consider other avenues in life.

    If youre not comfortable being naked in a room full O' strangers then the customers will see it and tip accordingly if at all. They want to see you are having fun and love your body. So till then try and fake it as much as possible.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    Jonan,

    Your nervousness is something you've got to get over. To make money from us customers you've got to get private dances, and the best way you've got to tell who's interested and who's not is by who's making eye contact and who's not.

    You've also got to remember a strip club is fantasy land - and part of the illusion you will have to project is that you are attracted to your customer of the moment. That means eye contact and flirtation. Yep, you might not actually like us customers, but you've got to make us think you do. No one will buy PD's off of a dancer who gives the impression she finds her customers a little creepy.

    Bella622's comment about becoming accustomed to being naked is very true. Most dancers get the feeling they're in a nightmare the first time they get up on stage and show it, but after that it gets steadily easier.

    Part of this is down to the good old "dancer persona" - with most dancers it's all an act. Susie the person turns up to work, but Sarah the stripper goes on stage. Dancer's call it going into work mode - it's a state of mind that lasts while they're at work and the nudity, stupid customers and all the other issues are dealt with by "Sarah". Might sound a bit odd to you at the moment, but most dancers literally switch off from the "real world" while they're working.

    Finally, remember that the important thing is what you are like outside of a strip venue - and 99.99% of your customers will never know that. Only your family and friends will - and they're the only people whose opinions you should care about.

    Good luck...

    Phil.

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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    It's like swimming in a cold river. You just have to close your eyes and jump.

    Stage fright is normal; it took me two weeks to feel any sort of comfort with the stage. Heck, I still get stage fright if I've been on hiatus for any appreciable length of time and (as Phil said) that's probably because the real Lil is not a gregarious person.
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Default Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    Thanks everyone. I'm just going to do it. I'm going to pretend I'm the sexiest dancer alive and I'm going to look everyone in the face. I once read that pretending is the first step to being. I'll let you know how it goes.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    I was so nervous the first time I auditioned, I could have sworn the crowd heard my knees knocking together they were shaking so hard!

    Just take a deep breath...move slow...and within a few stage sets...you'll be getting more and more comfortable.

    Of course, if you just can never get comfortable on stage...then you just shouldn't push yourself.

    have fun and good luck!

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    Senior Member Luke34's Avatar
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    Default Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    Hi jonan

    I was always a good speaker and I think very articulate when one on one. Nevertheless I suffered from serious stage fright, so much so that my legs used to shake and at times i would even stop speaking dead in my tracks and just go to water.

    I had to put food on my table and at the time the job i was offered required me to speak to small audiences. It was not an overnight thing but after a few years I got invited to speak to relatively large audiences. Today I absolutely live for it and I come alive on stage.

    I agree with Phil, you must make eye contact it is the only way you get each individual to believe you are out there communicating to them and them alone. The most important thing to remember is that you are just as good as anybody else out there.

    If you dont believe in yourself it will be very hard for other people to believe in you. I dont think you need to pretend... you believe that you are a good dancer and have a hot bod, you need to make the rest of the world see it.

    To end, dont be too discouraged if its not an overnight success... Rome wasnt built in a day...

    Good Luck

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    the thing about stage lights is true. at most strip clubs those lights can make a 5 look like an 8. i'm not saying you're a 5 obviously just an example. the lights around the club are usually soft too, so don't worry too much about little imperfections. as long as you're in shape and you take good care of your skin/hair/nails you don't have anything to worry about. feeling confident will come eventually. also, being the new girl is a great way to break the ice with customers... and new girls are fairly common, so chances are you'll be working with a couple other girls who are newish and you won't feel so singled out.

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    Newbie Sootica's Avatar
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    Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    "at most strip clubs those lights can make a 5 look like an 8"

    I am not from the USA..what does this refer to...the girl being a 5 out 10 for example, or a size 5 look like a size 8 (dress size)...sorry! ???

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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    oh i'm sorry. usually in the US when people are talking about how attractive a girl is they will rate her on a scale of 1-10 ... 1 being very very unattractive and 10 being perfect (which no one is) i can see how it could be taken to mean size though.

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    Newbie Sootica's Avatar
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    Default Re: Comfortable by myself not infront of others

    Thanks for clarifying that..terminology changes from place to place and I didnt want to be an egg and say the wrong thing!

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