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Thread: haw to say no and not upset him

  1. #1
    Veteran Member monicabi's Avatar
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    i am gonna to say no

    i realy want that my custys spend good fun time with me ,but a lot of tham trying to take advantage of it and they try to get closer with me .
    i am in relashionship and my man would not tolerate if i give away my nomber to other man or i go on date . but, i prefer not to tell my custys about my relashion ,i olweys say that i am single,indepedent woman .so my custy thinks -if i am single and we having fun and i seemed like him,we should exchange phone nombers and go out together..
    quetion for the custys, haw to say no on that , but not making you feel ,i dont want ,by saying no to you, to spoil that fun what we had befor you ask me these things.
    Last edited by monicabi; 08-12-2005 at 02:53 AM.

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    Senior Member Archangel's Avatar
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    Default Re: haw to say no and not upset him

    Most customers will be fine with you telling them that you are already in a good relationship and you love the person very much. As long as it doesn't affect anything in the club, (Like saying, "Look, that's my boyfriend over in the corner glaring at you, playing with that knife...") guys won't care all that much.

    You can even try playing it up, like you and the custy are doing something the BF wouldn't approve of (sitting so close together, etc.) to give it that excitement of doing something against the rules, while you are not really doing anything of the sort.

    Just be sure to make it clear that you can only have fun IN THE CLUB. If the kid is only there looking for a GF, you probably don't want to waste your time with him anyway.
    -=# Archangel

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    "Every man dies; not every man really lives." (William Wallace from Braveheart)

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    Default Re: haw to say no and not upset him

    Got to disagree with the advice above. Unfortunately, "date the dancer" is a classic male fantasy, and it's a powerful motvation for guys to buy lap dances. Take away the illusion you date outside the club, and you take away some of the motivation for private dances.

    You're not alone in claiming you're single - many dancers I know do exactly that, despite the fact they've got a bf or husband at home. The reason is the one I've given above - if you say you're in a relationship, you'll take away one of the reasons for guys to buy dances.

    You'll have to find a nice way to suggest that you do date customers on occasion, but only after you've known them for a long time, and got to trust them. How long do they have to know you - how does 6 months sound to you? After 6 months you'll have to find another reason, but whatever it is, leave the custy with his illusions intact.

    Phil.

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    Senior Member Archangel's Avatar
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    Default Re: haw to say no and not upset him

    You're right in that it is a fantasy for many guys. But the lying and leading on of someone in that manner seems a bit dangerous to me. Especially after reading all the stalker PL stories on the boards here.

    I guess it comes down to risk vs. reward.
    -=# Archangel

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    "Every man dies; not every man really lives." (William Wallace from Braveheart)

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: haw to say no and not upset him

    Got to disagree with the advice above. Unfortunately, "date the dancer" is a classic male fantasy, and it's a powerful motvation for guys to buy lap dances. Take away the illusion you date outside the club, and you take away some of the motivation for private dances.

    You're not alone in claiming you're single - many dancers I know do exactly that, despite the fact they've got a bf or husband at home. The reason is the one I've given above - if you say you're in a relationship, you'll take away one of the reasons for guys to buy dances.

    You'll have to find a nice way to suggest that you do date customers on occasion, but only after you've known them for a long time, and got to trust them. How long do they have to know you - how does 6 months sound to you? After 6 months you'll have to find another reason, but whatever it is, leave the custy with his illusions intact.
    You may sell more dances by saying you are single when you are not but is it worth it? ... when people here say they are selling a fantasy, ok fine, but it's not fine if the customer doesn't realize it is a fantasy... deceiving him in order to make it appear more likely that the fantasy could become a reality seems counterproductive and dangerous... especially since there are other customers who wont let the fact you have an SO spoil your dances.... aren't those the customers you'd rather cultivate as regulars?

    Besides, since when did being in a relationship stop people from getting together with someone new? I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has been in relationships with people who were 'attached' when first met...

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    Featured Member exotica17's Avatar
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    Default Re: haw to say no and not upset him

    I'm married, but I say I'm single (I feel single anyway). I just tell the guy that they're cute but I don't have the time and I don't date the customers. They usually get the hint.

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    Senior Member AJM1987's Avatar
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    Default Re: haw to say no and not upset him

    I don't date customers.

    If my boyfriend comes into my club, he's my brother (we look enough alike- same haircolor).

    If my girlfriend comes into the club, she's my girlfriend.

    Its sad, but you have to choose your responses and answers in a way that will be good for your wallet... I think dating one customer might hurt your chance at dancing for another.... IMO.

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    Senior Member Underestimated's Avatar
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    Default Re: haw to say no and not upset him

    Yeah, I wouldn't go as far as to say my BF is in the corner playing with a knife. I mean, it's fun to kill business sometimes, but not all of it. I'd probably say something random like "But, if I go out with you my boss is going to think I'll go out with him!"
    Or just talk on the phone. It's pretty harmless. If you work a lot, they understand taking a day off to go to the gym, and tan, etc.

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re: haw to say no and not upset him

    It obviously depends on the customer and what he's looking for, but personally I don't care if the girl is in a relationship as long as she doesn't talk about it constantly (and yes I have had that happen.) In fact I always assume that dancers are all in relationships, good looking girls your age usually are, and if you tell me you aren't I probably won't believe you anyway.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: haw to say no and not upset him

    Quote Originally Posted by FONDL
    It obviously depends on the customer and what he's looking for, but personally I don't care if the girl is in a relationship as long as she doesn't talk about it constantly (and yes I have had that happen.) In fact I always assume that dancers are all in relationships, good looking girls your age usually are, and if you tell me you aren't I probably won't believe you anyway.
    I agree with FONDL other than I dont mind if the dancers shares a little SO drama with me.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Featured Member exotica17's Avatar
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    Default Re: haw to say no and not upset him

    Quote Originally Posted by FONDL
    It obviously depends on the customer and what he's looking for, but personally I don't care if the girl is in a relationship as long as she doesn't talk about it constantly (and yes I have had that happen.) In fact I always assume that dancers are all in relationships, good looking girls your age usually are, and if you tell me you aren't I probably won't believe you anyway.
    Haha, most don't believe me either.

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