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Thread: The wrong GFE

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    Senior Member Luke34's Avatar
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    Default The wrong GFE

    About a month back my fav dancer started complaining about the problems with various custies, other dancers, bouncers, the industry in general etc. From being a fun hour or two of harmless flirting and dances, it has changed to a constant tirade of complaints. Whilst initially I was flattered with her occasionally discussing problems regarding her OTC activities, I am really not interested in her ITC problems. In the last two weeks I have politely reminded her that I come to an SC to unwind and I miss the bubbly person I once came to visit.

    She has been in a relationship for all the time I have known her and it seems a stable one. My views are… her boyfriend doesn’t pay for her company and he gets boyfriend benefits… he is entitled to these problems not me… Can I say this without burning the bridge?

    I realise that this is a bit selfish but I have come out feeling I have not got what I came to the SC for, which is to be entertained and to unwind.

    Any advice?

  2. #2
    Featured Member bikinigirl04's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    i have been guilty of complaining to custy's sometimes but i try hard not to, because who wants to listen to that? but sometimes it is hard b/c it gets to you after a while.
    i had to just force myself to pretend i have no worries when im at work and to not complain to guys about that stuff.
    i don't really know what else you can say, if you have already mentioned it.
    maybe you can say something like, " well its a good thing i am here so you don't have to deal with that kind of stuff right now. let's talk about something happier for a while..." or something?

    edit to add: i don't know if you should tell her to bitch to her boyfriend, not you, heheh. she might be insulted.
    Oh, I musta took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.


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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    Well if you already told her and she ignored you... sounds like it is time to think about finding another 'fav'... maybe if you start spending your money on someone else she'll get the message... you want to be her sc customer, not her platonic friend...

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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    I've had this happen to me a number of times and I'm always of two minds about it. On the one hand, as Jay says it's a clear sign that your relationship has crossed over into what I call the club-buddy stage, and that's kind of flattering when it happens. But on the other hand I agree with Luke, it can become pretty annoying if done too much. It's hard to find the happy middle ground. About all you can do is try to change the subject when it gets to be too much and detracts from your fun. But I wouldn't say anything to her about it because that could destroy that buddy relationship. She may very well resent the fact that she trusted you and you didn't respond the way she thought she should. My advice: when a woman talks about her feelings, listen carefully, be sympathetic, and keep your mouth shut, you're on dangerous ground that no guy ever understands.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    There is a dancer at my club whose ld's I love, but who does a lot of complaining... like all she ever has to talk about is her problems with custody battles with her ex and stuff like that... I wouldn't mind so much if she also had other, more interesting things to talk about... I mean, I have stuff I could complain about, too, but if that was all I ever said, who'd want to hang out with me? let alone pay for the privilege...

    She has been in a relationship for all the time I have known her and it seems a stable one. My views are… her boyfriend doesn’t pay for her company and he gets boyfriend benefits… he is entitled to these problems not me… Can I say this without burning the bridge?
    How about, when she starts excessively complaining, you ask her "Well, what does your bf have to say about it?"

    What not to say: "does your boyfriend ever get as sick of hearing you bitch as I do?"

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    a girl should NEVER complain to a customer. about ANYTHING period. unless you guys are really close like OTC, then that becomes something diffrent.

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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    i woulnd NEVER complain to a customer about my personal probs. When we are in the club it is a "fantasy world". I leave my outside life at the door and pick it up on the way out. The girls that complain at my club are usually complaining about things in order to get money out of a guy i.e. car payment, rent, etc.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    I wouldnt worry too much about it...you were just a convenient target. If it wasnt you it would be one of the other dancers hearing about it in the dressing room.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  9. #9
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    You're paying for a fantasy woman. A fantasy woman doesn't bitch about her problems - she doesn't even have them. That's the FANTASY part. She exists solely to be beautiful and entertain, like a geisha. She needs to leave her problems outside of work, and if she can't, you are entitled to get your money's worth elsewhere.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    One definition of a bore is a person who, when you ask them how they are doing, tells you...

  11. #11
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    You're paying for a fantasy woman. A fantasy woman doesn't bitch about her problems - she doesn't even have them. That's the FANTASY part. She exists solely to be beautiful and entertain, like a geisha. She needs to leave her problems outside of work, and if she can't, you are entitled to get your money's worth elsewhere.
    Heres a link back to an interesting thread regarding geishas. According to these posters, geishas do a bit more than look beautiful.

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sho...ghlight=geisha

    FBR
    Last edited by FBR; 08-13-2005 at 02:12 PM.
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  12. #12
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    Well yeah, but you know what I meant. The point is that they are just there to be beautiful and entertaining. Sensuality is a part of it, but so is engaging conversation - but it should all be around letting the guy ESCAPE. That's what he's paying for. If he wanted to listen to a woman bitch about her problems, he could get that at home for free.

    I'm a die-hard feminist so it's not like I'm saying all women exist solely to serve men, but let's remember what the guy is paying for here. He's paying to relax and unwind and have a beautiful woman focus on HIS needs. If this woman isn't doing her job, he's got every right to take his money to someone who will.

  13. #13
    Veteran Member XoStellaOx's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    oh god once when I jsut broke up with my beau I was talking about him to customers (dumb ass) and ieven carried a pic of him in my lil purse and showed him to some guys how stupid can
    I get

  14. #14
    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    ^^^ I would think you would get extra $$$ from guys hoping to catch you on the rebound...

  15. #15
    Veteran Member laplover69's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    I have had lots of dancers complain to me about their issues and problems. Sometimes it's about getting $$$ for rent etc. and other times its about their abusive boyfriends and various other problems. I take this as compliment as several have confided in me about very personal issues. Sure sometimes I have my "guard up" about believing what some of them say, but it really doesn't annoy me much because I'm long past the "fantasy stage" with most of these dancers and are just "platonic friends" OTC with most of them, although there has been some fun play with a few of them.

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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    It doesn't really bother me unless it's followed up with, "So, can I have $500?"
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  17. #17
    Featured Member MinahSky's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    There are too many ladies that will supply you with the GFE that you desire without the drama...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Do unto others as you would have them do to you...it's less work to be nice than it is to be evil!

    "Miss ChiChi, if you was my girl you would never cry from anything...except maybe happiness."

  18. #18
    Senior Member Luke34's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    Thanks people

    I think I will thank her for the fun times and look out for a new fav. Perhaps give her a little gift to say thank you.

    Not made my mind up yet if there is anything to be gained by talking it over or saying my piece...

    So much for customer loyalty!

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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    SHe may be talking to you as a friend, you might should be flattered that she's sharing personal info. with you. Like someone said if it doesn't some with the line "I need $500 please" I wouldn't be offended.

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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot
    How about, when she starts excessively complaining, you ask her "Well, what does your bf have to say about it?"
    Good advice. Make her understand that her BF is NOT being supportive enough and make her want to get even with him by getting into it with you. Trust me, this works.

    Follow any other path and you're in the friend zone with her hairdresser.

  21. #21
    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsWriter2
    Good advice. Make her understand that her BF is NOT being supportive enough and make her want to get even with him by getting into it with you. Trust me, this works.
    Funny, my screen color is showing I'm on the pink side but this sounds like blue side mindset.

    Nah, dude, just put her in the pal category, respond to her like you would any pal, and move on to another ATF. We don't hesitate around here to tell you that we need to make money when you're hogging our time without paying, so it only seems fair that you shouldn't suppress your desire to "make entertainment" when she's hogging your time without playing. IMHO.

    -Ev

  22. #22
    Veteran Member alicia0033's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    Quote Originally Posted by Luke34
    About a month back my fav dancer started complaining about the problems with various custies, other dancers, bouncers, the industry in general etc. From being a fun hour or two of harmless flirting and dances, it has changed to a constant tirade of complaints. Whilst initially I was flattered with her occasionally discussing problems regarding her OTC activities, I am really not interested in her ITC problems. In the last two weeks I have politely reminded her that I come to an SC to unwind and I miss the bubbly person I once came to visit.

    She has been in a relationship for all the time I have known her and it seems a stable one. My views are… her boyfriend doesn’t pay for her company and he gets boyfriend benefits… he is entitled to these problems not me… Can I say this without burning the bridge?

    I realise that this is a bit selfish but I have come out feeling I have not got what I came to the SC for, which is to be entertained and to unwind.

    Any advice?
    You're entitled to feel this way. This should be a big eye opener for some dancers that complain to customers. I find it annoying. If you want them to spend money on you...keep up the fantasy! I get a lot of custys go on and on about what a fun person I am and always happy. They think they have me figured out. If they knew the real me, they wouldn't bother. I'm moody, miserable at times and could give 2 shits about being sexy for a man. But not at work!! OH NOOOOOO

  23. #23
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    Seriously, ya'll...find yourself a gay male friend. He will listen and commisserate with you for untold hours, and he will eat the drama up. He also will not be as frustrated with you for your inability to deal with logic, whereas a straight male will banging his head against the wall.

    Solving simple problems makes men feel good about themselves. For example:
    "I haven't had a hug all day!...aww, see that's why I like you--you're a problem solver!" or "What was the name of George's dad on "Seinfeld"? Thank you, that was driving me insane all morning." Listening to serious problems which he can't solve is frustrating for a man that truly cares about you, and freakin' annoying for one that doesn't.

    Personally, I've broken off friendship with several girls with whom conversation quickly degenerated into a one-sided bitch fest, because it was so emotionally draining.

    Many women want to rehash their pain/problems repeatedly but will refuse to listen to advice or any reason whatsoever (if you tell them that they should dump that asshole, you essentially become the jerk).

    These are usually the girls that will always be cycling through the same problems, because deep down they have either no self esteem or are masochistic.

    If you can, try to deflect a girl's complaining in the early stages and make her feel better about herself in the process: so, using my friend as an example...

    Tatyana: Oh my god, I have nothing to wear, and--(here is where you need to head a girl off, at the little nonsense)
    Me: Oh, poor poor Tatyana! Why must my ass be so firm that I cannot find zee clothes to fit it? Why will not everyone pity Tatyana and her rock hard body?
    Tatyana: (laughs-girls love compliments, attention, hearing their own name repeatedly, being teased, and being called on their bs)
    Me: Anyway, there are like fifteen sales at the mall we could hit up later.
    Tatyana: But I'm so tired, and--
    Me (Tatyana voice): Why oh why did I let zee two hunks that carry me around, so that my feet may never touch zee ground, have zee day off? Why, god, did you curse zee Tatyana with such long, long legs?


    I've found that beautiful women always, always complain more. But they say that behind every beautiful woman there is a man sick of her sh*t.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Luke34's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    For the record... I gave the dancer a gift, something she had wanted for quite a while, thanked her for her time and started spending time and money elsewhere as well. In brief moved on but stayed pals...

    According the the manager, she resigned a couple of months ago, as she could not cope with the industry ......so perhaps it was far more deep seated. A pity though as she had a full on fan club and did really well financially....

  25. #25
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: The wrong GFE

    Migosh, I believe Sienna is right on the money here. Not to many women have I had the nerve to say this.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sienna_TX
    Seriously, ya'll...find yourself a gay male friend. He will listen and commisserate with you for untold hours, and he will eat the drama up. He also will not be as frustrated with you for your inability to deal with logic, whereas a straight male will banging his head against the wall.

    Solving simple problems makes men feel good about themselves. For example:
    "..." Listening to serious problems which he can't solve is frustrating for a man that truly cares about you, and freakin' annoying for one that doesn't.

    I've found that beautiful women always, always complain more. But they say that behind every beautiful woman there is a man sick of her sh*t.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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