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Thread: Grinding an extra?

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    Member amity's Avatar
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    Default Grinding an extra?

    When I first started, I never sat on a customer's crotch area, just his thighs. Then I had numerous customers complain that it's the most important area. They wanted at least a little grinding going on since an "air dance" is not too impressive considering they can experience it from watching you on stage. Although a customer won't touch me & I will only touch his shoulders or knees, do you believe grinding is still okay? Or is it almost the same thing as fondling the crotch area with your hand, since you are just using your butt or leg (forward position)? I know the hand makes a huge difference & I try to tell myself that it isn't bad since I move my upper & lower body to the music (as if I'm just dancing), but it still makes me feel gross & that it's almost as bad as cheating on my significant other. Although I do get some customers who don't mind, most do & I lose a lot of money from not doing enough grinding, touching, or being close, etc. Is that how stripping will always be aside from extras?

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    Featured Member MinahSky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Regardless of how we feel, YOU have to do what is comfortable for YOU.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Do unto others as you would have them do to you...it's less work to be nice than it is to be evil!

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    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by MinahSky
    Regardless of how we feel, YOU have to do what is comfortable for YOU.
    ...amen, i agree. Stripping has been different each decade. Feather fan dances will never return to the mainstream.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    I think you also have to consider what the local laws are in your area.

    For example, in most of the MA clubs, a customer trying to get a dancer to grind him would be considered an "extra" and potentially exposing that dancer to punishment by LE.

    Now if that same dancer worked in a RI club where medium contact is legal, a customer expecting a dancer to grind him would not be considered an "extra". I as a customer in this setting would certainly respect the personal boundries of a dancer who chooses to only give air dances; however, she'd prolly be better served trying to find another club or area more in line with her comfort levels if at all possible.

    What are the local laws and regs in your area and how does your personal comfort level compare with those laws?

    Ultimately, I would say to never do something you're not comfortable doing.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Senior Member SW Siren's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by verfolgung
    I think you also have to consider what the local laws are in your area.

    Exactly. And not just the local laws but also the club rules. In no contact clubs and areas, grinding would be considered an "extra"

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    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Anytime a dancer touches a custies dick its an 'extra"in my opinion and not part of the job.
    Doesnt matter if its wrapped in a rubber,Levi's 501's,or FUBU knee highs,touching it isnt part of the job description.(yea yea i know)

    Its exactly like the "out of bounds"areas and "no you cant touch me there" the dancers have,or at least it should be.

    The introduction of the lapdance is whats killing this industry faster then the drugs,its the "full contact","grinding"lapdance that is.
    Its what causes many of our problems.

    I have no problem with prostitution,escorting,strippers,topless vegas showgirls,or lapdancers,I have a problem with the lines between disapearing.
    I have no problems with the girls who give grinding lapdances either,its Rome and we all gotta do what the Romans do.Not only have I turned a profit off of it for many years,I have taught hundreds of girls how to give a lapdance,Guilty as charged.
    But to say it isnt "dry fucking",just like we all did on prom night,with Suzy rotten crotch,in the backseat of the family Chevy,is lieing to yourself and your SO's.

    We sell a fantasy and a chance to get close,thats it ladies.
    "lap"aint "dick"

    The moment your touch a mans dick,the fantasy has become real imo.

    What really sucks imo,is a custie walks in the door and knows he can get his dick rubbed for money in alot of areas around the country,no fantasy involved.

    but it still makes me feel gross & that it's almost as bad as cheating on my significant other
    I mean no offense towards anyone,but this is just how I feel.
    I have dated many dancers over the years,and most all of my true friends are dancers or in the business in some way,so im not trying to be insulting in any way,but i could never seriously date a "lapdancer"who did grinding lapdances.

    Yes it could be called a short comming of mine because i have known alot of guys who have said they can deal with it,I just cant,so I never did.I also know alot of guys who were not able to handle it as well.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreenMnM
    Anytime a dancer touches a custies dick its an 'extra"in my opinion and not part of the job.
    Doesnt matter if its wrapped in a rubber,Levi's 501's,or FUBU knee highs,touching it isnt part of the job description.(yea yea i know)
    BigGreenMnM your post has me a little confused.

    Is there such a thing as a lapdance that isn't an air dance and also doesn't involve touching the custies dick through his clothes with the dancers bottom?

    Maybe I also don't really understand precisely what is meant by 'grinding' in this context... the clubs I go to are pretty tame, I guess...

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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    For me, I would be very uncomfortable with a lap dance that was giving constant dick stimulation all the way through. ( As in a part of the dancer's body consistently stimulating the dick throughout the whole lapdance.) This could end up in the job being finished for some guys, and would then be considered more than a "fantasy". IMO( And i am not talking about occasional accidents that come with the job)
    I am comfortable with giving a lap dance that varies, and is not giving direct dick stimulation through- out the whole dance. An example could be rubbing your chest in the customers face while your legs are leaning on his legs a little...running your hair across his body, rubbing his shoulders...then, every few moments are so you occasionally "brush" over his dick with your leg or your thong. Mixing it up can prevent accidents and hopefully keep him satisfied. Maybe that can work for you in your situation? There is some stimulation for his region... but it is not so intense.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    The introduction of the lapdance is whats killing this industry faster then the drugs,its the "full contact","grinding"lapdance that is.
    Its what causes many of our problems.
    Well, the introduction of the lapdance has certainly been responsible, with one exception, for changing the character of the exotic dancing business from being 'show business' to being 'sex business'. This applies not only to many dancers now being expected to actually perform lap dances which are illegal under their state prostitution laws (therefore subject to an eventual bust), but also has contributed to the Hollywood Stereotype and 'general public's impression of dancers being all-around lawbreaking 'dirty' girls.

    The single exception of course are the upscale zero contact 'show clubs', which are usually able to maintain a public perception of 'show business', "class', and 'legal' operation. Unfortunately, upscale zero contact 'show clubs' represent a tiny percentage of all American clubs, and can/will only employ a tiny percentage of all American dancers.

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    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    doing anything such as rubbing your body anywhere near their groin is an extra. there is no grey area, you do ro you dont.
    AmyLynne

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Its not an extra anywhere I've ever worked. Girls like to act high and mighty, but there are few places in the US where you can make good money without grinding, at least in the more private areas. The rest of ya'll are just lying to us, to yourselves, or not making good consistent money. This IS the sex industry.

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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Hmmm...I work in a very high mileage/contact locale (oh Canada...) but when I got a kind dancer to give me a demo lapdance, she said she would lean over the guy, sit on one knee leaning over, sit on the other knee, and then slide down so she was sort of laying backwards over him for the duration of the dance. Now, you can do this while sort of hovering with the lower back so as to avoid any contact on the crotch. Breast touching and generally touching anywhere except the thong area is commonplace (basically permitted, but I say 'basically' because the laws and the managers are not in total synch on this one I don't think...).

    Sooo, I asked her specifically about grinding, and she said "I don't do that. I think it's disgusting". Obviously I'd rather not do more than what is the norm. However, I've asked around and briefly seen the other girls in the booths, and basically the only universal thing that they agree is wrong that is not clearly an extra (asides from the several rigorously ostracized 'extras' gals) is 'letting him touch the cookie'. I don't know. I've been doing what she showed me, and it seems to be satisfying enough to sell dances, but many guys try a lot more. Also, I only allow 'light' and brief breast touching. I don't need to be violently molested. That hurts. I think this is indeed more than 'fantasy' and selling something sexual, but frankly I can deal with this grey area.

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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    Its not an extra anywhere I've ever worked. Girls like to act high and mighty, but there are few places in the US where you can make good money without grinding, at least in the more private areas. The rest of ya'll are just lying to us, to yourselves, or not making good consistent money. This IS the sex industry.
    Amen to that ! I've only worked at a few places where I could make $ doing air dances and the money wasn't worth talking about.
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    Member amity's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Thank you for all of the diverse opinions. What do you guys think of barely touching your butt to their croth area, such as when you're moving up or down, or by just sitting on the crotch area? Can that be classified as grinding? What EXACTLY is your definition of grinding?

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Grinding in most of Florida is de riguer. Hell, open groping at many clubs is SOP, at least in Miami and Tampa.

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    Veteran Member Cristalla's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    when i worked in topless non contact lapdance club the sale of dances - not just for me but all dancers- didnt exceed the 5 - 6 dances per shift... if i went home with 130 i had to be happy ... then i went to nude clubs and i doubled the $.
    then i noticed the harder u grind the more dances they buy,...
    but i hated it cos some guys splootched so i felt like a prostitute-with all the respect for who does that business but i wasnt confortable with it
    and that was california, LA, where either are browsers or horny guys looking for relief.
    so i changed state , and is still nude but no contact , a little lap work but is acceptable , no boob scrambling , no hands allover , very clean no contact work and they are trained to buy dances and i doubled the double CA income. so from an average of 100-130 i went to 250 then to almost 500 every shift.
    i heard from a guy i know his girlfriend makes 2-3 G a night ,but that s in vegas ,Sapphire,
    and when is slow she makes 500 and - he says- she doesnt do extras.
    i was very impressed by this income... but i know i can never make that kind of money without extras...so i guess i ll stick with the 4-500 a night

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by amity
    ... I lose a lot of money from not doing enough grinding, touching, or being close, etc. Is that how stripping will always be aside from extras?
    Yes..
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

  18. #18
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    Its not an extra anywhere I've ever worked. Girls like to act high and mighty, but there are few places in the US where you can make good money without grinding, at least in the more private areas. The rest of ya'll are just lying to us, to yourselves, or not making good consistent money. This IS the sex industry.
    Thank you Katrine!!!!!!! I would grind many men...This was perfectly fine with the (many) clubs in south Florida, and i made great money.

    This is not an extra. I always got paid the same amount as the non-friction dancers...Just made myself many regular customers!!!!! Ok...an extra tip now and again too.

    Play by the club rules...

    Pamela

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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Heck, I ask waitresses at Denny's to do that.

    Nice hat, Pamela!

    >>>Sad<<<

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by sadbuttrue
    Heck, I ask waitresses at Denny's to do that...

    >>>Sad<<<
    LOL That sounds like a post from "You might be a Strip Club Junkie if..."
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Veteran Member cpeters1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    This preoccupation with "extras" is amazing to me. I have been going to SCs for many years in FL, including So FL, and have been routinely grinded (without asking) and never have I been offered an extra, nor have I asked. I have almost always been allowed to touch the body everywhere except breasts and coochie, but then again I am very gentle, never grabbing or squeezing, and I start slow never greedy.

    Never heard the word "extra" till I signed on here, a great site where I feel almost like an insider in the industry. The animosity between the dancers regarding "extras" is amazing, so much more so than the animosity between the dancers and the custies to expect "extras".

    The reason I feel a need to quote "extras" is that I have yet to see a definition everyone can agree on. The concept of the mere touching of the penis as an extra is not reasonable. How many dancers will sit on a custies lap while trying to sell a dance. If you are sitting on my lap, then the only thing separating that from an "extra" is any slight motion. So sitting on a custies lap is prostitution? Come on.

    Now grinding is clear to me. I do know the difference between sitting and grinding. And if I am sitting, and the dancer starts grinding, without me asking, and the bouncer is watching and it seems okay, why then am I to assume I am getting an extra, seems SOP to me. Sure, if she whispers in my ear that for an extra 20 she'll grind me till I cum, then I can see that as an "extra". Clearly, any HJ, BJ, FS, etc is an extra, and if you ask me should be taken OTC. However, I have never seen anything like that ITC or been offered.

    Gee, I'm starting to feel like no one likes me, never been offered an extra, and I tip good too. Hummm.

    Anyway, all that said, my fav girl at the moment does not grind at all. However, her dances are spectacular, she lets me roam all over, excluding areas already mentioned, and I get several sets each time. I recently found a new club, which has less expensive dances and apparently grinding is standard. Sure I'll go back there, but I will also go to my local club. In So FL I got ground almost raw, I think she was getting offended that I would not cum, and no she did not offer it as something extra, nor did I ask for that specifically.

    I'm sure I have said something offensive here as the dancers who are cool with moderate grinding are definitely in the minority here and I would suspect hesitant to speak their minds about this honestly, (with the obvious expection of Katrine and Pamela).

    Maybe we could define extra as any direct contact with the sex organs, and call "clothed SOP grinding in the open" icing. So, could I get a dance with some icing and no extras please.

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    Senior Member naughtynaomi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Yall are right in that you can't (normally) make good money on airdances. I quit grinding and my money went right into the shitter.

    Here's the thing....you can't ONLY check with your club, you've got to check the laws in your area as well. One club I worked at told all the dances it was OK to grind away, but the law in the area states that all lapdances must be performed while at least 6" away from the customer. SOOO, the police rolled in and busted seriously EVERY dancer for prostitution since she was "touching" the customer in a "sexual" manner. Now, some of these girls were going above and beyond grinding, but some were, by modern standards, very tame dancers. (I wasn't working that day, but if I were I would have been busted too.) Don't know if the local laws make a difference to anyone- they didn't to me until I found out that even the tamer girls get busted.

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    Veteran Member Foxey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine
    Its not an extra anywhere I've ever worked. Girls like to act high and mighty, but there are few places in the US where you can make good money without grinding, at least in the more private areas. The rest of ya'll are just lying to us, to yourselves, or not making good consistent money. This IS the sex industry.
    I agree with you completely. As long as the customers clothing remains on and fully fastened it isn't an extra as far as I am concerned. @ self righteous bitches
    In a black light trance, then go go dance...

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by cpeters1
    ...and So, could I get a dance with some icing and no extras please.
    Okay, so that's 1 dance with icing, hold the extras. Did you want fries with that?

    As you've figured out, nothing brings out more posts than a thread about extras. A definition? "Any action that is against the law?" That isn't really a good definition since in a lot areas just getting with a certain distance of the customer is against the letter of the law. "Any act that is defined as prostitution?" Well, in a lot of places, two girls that kiss because some guy offered them $10 to do so would technically be guilty of prostitution. "A violation of club rules?" Nope, management routinely ignores violations of both the law and their own rules. In truth, the definition of extras is this: Something another girl in the club is doing that I'm not comfortable doing. Now maybe I'm not willing to do it because it's against the law or I just won't. Either way, it hurts my money, so i get angry about it.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Veteran Member cpeters1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grinding an extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by Destiny
    In truth, the definition of extras is this: Something another girl in the club is doing that I'm not comfortable doing. Now maybe I'm not willing to do it because it's against the law or I just won't. Either way, it hurts my money, so i get angry about it.

    It's okay to get angry about it, but hardly a definition of an extra. I mean not knowing what you are all about, but just for a minute lets assume you are only into gown shows with air dances. The topless girl next to you allowing a custy to touch her calves is an extras girl? I know that is extreme, but it seems that that is what this discussion it all about, extremes.

    I agree that doing stuff that is illegal should be considered an extra. Girls who get the whole club busted are not good for the club, but that is clearly a management problem. If the management was allowing "extras" as defined as illegal acts, they should have the buy in of all the dancers, so everyone is willing to take the same amount of risk. But they never will do that, since they need dancers and dancers all have different comfort levels, and thus extras are different to different dancers and different custies.

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