Results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: going for it

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default going for it

    Girls,

    I am going to do it! I don't know why I am writing all this .. I guess I am so nervous - I feel if I let the word out it is one step closer to happening .. I can't back out now. I am getting the shoes and dress today - West Village somewhere and the hair done Saturday and then I am going over to the club to ask for an audition. May the force be with me. Girl power, that's all it is about!

    I am going to get one outfit - if all goes well, I'll see if there is a house mom to buy more from her.

    OK.

    C. out.

  2. #2
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,218
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 209 Times in 142 Posts

    Default Re: going for it

    Quote Originally Posted by carla
    I am going to do it! I don't know why I am writing all this .. I guess I am so nervous - I feel if I let the word out it is one step closer to happening .. I can't back out now. C. out.
    Know the technique - I feel when I've told someone I'm going to do something, I can't back out either.

    All I suggest you do is focus on a mental picture of you after audition, hired and ready to start work. Works for me, because I then tend to focus less on the actuality of what my big mouth has signed me up to.

    I guess you're like me in another way also - you'll not be happy until you've faced the challenge, (in your case the audition), because not doing it and feeling unhappy that you haven't is a lesser evil than going through with it.

    Good luck...

    Phil.

  3. #3
    Member Godiva_Girl's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    18
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: going for it

    Good Luck...Let us know how it goes

  4. #4
    Member Ramona's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    39
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: going for it

    Carla,
    I feel the same way! I've been talking and talking about it this week, and now I HAVE to do it! I bought some outfits, and connected with a girlfriend who used to dance - she's giving me her outfits, and hooking me up with some other local girls to drive with. So, now I have to do it!
    Where I live, it's a bit different - you just show up to a club and register, pay your fee, and you are in. No set schedule, so I can work any time I want.

    It's one of those things that I want to try, and I don't want to be 60 and lamenting...

    let us know how it went!

    Ramona

  5. #5
    Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: going for it -- update

    Thank you for focusing me!

    Phil, it's as if you are describing me. I have to curb saying what I will do .. talking about a big mouth because so often I say it and it never happens.

    You are so on about the mental picture - I am now realizing I completely left out the transportation, among other things.

    I have this stupid lousy day job that does not allow me to move this thing faster and they make me work 15 hour days, they treat me like shit and I don't want to use any more foul language in this mail!

    Because I wrote this mail I couldn't not back out so on Sunday I walked all over the place till I got blisters on my feet and just about dropped dead but I found the perfect dress and shoes that I love but are half a size too small. I just ordered another pair of shoes, very similar to the one I bought but I am not too sure about how they will work with the dress. I am also waiting for the manufacturer of the first kind of shoes to tell me if they have it in the size I want. I am still in a clutch whether to go for it with smaller size shoes or .. I am still going to do my hair tomorrow and I lost 3-4 pounds and I want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone for your focusing me - I wouldn't be able to go for this without your support.

    I guess a real pro would just go with the flow and do it with the smaller size shoes.

    maybe I'll get crazy and audition with the smaller size shoes. I want to get this thing done and momentum is getting lost. I'll cut my toe nails to the bare flesh and try to sqeeze in those stupid shoes. There is still time until tomorrow. Let's see what the furies bring. Tonight I should start my moves.

    Ramona, did you go? How did it go? I started thinking about this a year ago! And yes, I am just the same, thinking about something like that and not doing it is worse than actually going for it, no matter what the latter might involve.

    I am so sick of the men at work treating me like shit. It fuels me to be me and go and do what I have do, in a way. Perhaps you can focus on something you don't like or a place where you are not treated right or something that is that way - this world is not really fair and once you understand it's not fair you open your eyes to see things differently and not to have it so foreign to you. I find we try to fit in those models for "perfect" people but once something happens and stares you in the face for a long time and is there every day to remind you that these rules for "perfect" behaviour and all that isn't how things really work, it kind of frees you to see things the way it is fit for you. Nothing is the way it seems. All these "perfect" people that demand you to be "perfect" are in fact very selfish and of questionable morals. You always have to look further.

    I am begining to think this is just something that you have to do. Go and do it. Period. Don't think. Are you the kind of person who thinks, Ramona?

    Thank you so much, ladies!! I will keep you posted!

    Carla

  6. #6
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,218
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 209 Times in 142 Posts

    Default Re: going for it -- update

    Quote Originally Posted by carla
    Phil, it's as if you are describing me. I have to curb saying what I will do .. talking about a big mouth because so often I say it and it never happens ...You are so on about the mental picture - I am now realizing I completely left out the transportation, among other things.
    Just doing my emphathy bit - and recognised a fellow sufferer's symptons.

    Quote Originally Posted by carla
    I have this stupid lousy day job that does not allow me to move this thing faster and they make me work 15 hour days, they treat me like shit and I don't want to use any more foul language in this mail!

    I am so sick of the men at work treating me like shit. It fuels me to be me and go and do what I have do, in a way....I am begining to think this is just something that you have to do. Go and do it. Period. Don't think.
    Sounds like you don't have too much to lose by trying dancing. It can't be any more stressful than long hours and a less than charming group of work mates.

    The only word of caution I'd interject is that many of the men you'll meet as a dancer will be rude and crude - unfortunately, it's something every dancer has to learn to deal with.

    I guess I know why you want the perfect combination of shoes, dress, etc - looking and feeling good makes you feel more confident. I suspect as you took a sabatical from dancing, you already know you are more than presentable enough to dance anyway.

    Good luck...

    Phil.

  7. #7
    Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: going for it

    Hi Phil,

    You said:

    "The only word of caution I'd interject is that many of the men you'll meet as a dancer will be rude and crude - unfortunately, it's something every dancer has to learn to deal with. "

    You are right. I have been thinking about it - the men I used to get as customers would say such things! It eventually drove me away from dancing. I was also doing it 5 days a week - I kind of went into it full force and I was young and didn't know much about the world .. so I took most things litterally, and the night shifts got to me too. Now it's different: I believe I have gotten wiser now. I have definitely changed. Even my tastes in clothes, shoes, makeup have changed. So you made me think about what I will have to deal with and encounter again.

    I went to the club today. There is something about it that I like - the dynamic, something, the speed, I don't know. It makes you feel electrified, energized, there is this buzz. I guess I am connecting with the place. The manager wasn't there (the one I needed) so I am going back on Tuesday. I guess I passed some sort of screening. On Tuesday, I hope I can take off work. I know it sounds stupid that to leave at a decent hour I say "I have to take off work". I will have to come up with some excuse.

    You know, exotic dancing is such an art. I've been looking at some tapes. Not only did I have bad taste before but I also thought I knew it when in fact there was so much more to learn! My ego was through the roof in those days.

    I will write to you more later.

    Thank you for the advice and the support. It helps a lot.

    I know I am going to do this.

    Thank you again.

    Carla

  8. #8
    God/dess
    Joined
    Dec 2004
    Location
    London, UK
    Posts
    2,218
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 209 Times in 142 Posts

    Default Re: going for it

    Quote Originally Posted by carla
    I have been thinking about it - the men I used to get as customers would say such things! It eventually drove me away from dancing. I was also doing it 5 days a week - I kind of went into it full force and I was young and didn't know much about the world .. so I took most things litterally, and the night shifts got to me too. Now it's different: I believe I have gotten wiser now.
    This comes back to the oft mentioned point that dancers develop a stage persona that they adopt as they go into work - in effect they become an actress. It's the stage persona that deals with all the crap that customers come up with - the real you only reappears after you're changing at the end of the shift.

    I guess the old saying "forewarned is forearmed" has a lot of validity here. If you go into work expecting that 10% - 15% of your customers are going to behave in a way you dislike, then you're already partially prepared to deal with it. Similarly, if you're half expecting it, then the shock value of an idiot comment is much diminished.

    I guess it's also a truism to say that the only opinions that you should worry about are those of family and friends outside of work. Any comments you do get at work are directed towards your "actress persona", which will only bear a passing resemblence to the real you.

    Phil.

  9. #9
    Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: going for it

    Hi Phil,

    I didn't reply to you because I've been thinking about what you said. I am still thinking about it. It's deep.

    I read it a few times. I just wanted to drop a line to let you know that. I will probably think about it for a while.

    You are also talking from the point of view of experience - I can see it in what you say and perhaps I will truly understand it when I do it one day .. which means I first have to get there. How much more mature do I have to be .. I wonder.

    Thank you for writing to me.

    Tomorrow I am going to the place. Strangely, I am not nervous anymore. I don't know if that should worry me.

    You know, I've had life long friends who in all the time I have known them have not managed to give me the amount of wisdom and support you have given me in writing in the past week or so. Or maybe I am a late bloomer or something. Still, the first statement still holds.

    I don't know what you are doing for a living these days but I hope you have a good week.

    Take care,

    Carla

  10. #10
    Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: going for it

    I did it!

  11. #11
    Veteran Member Serendipity7's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    350
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: going for it

    And? How did it go? Details, details!

  12. #12
    Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Re: going for it

    Hi Serendipity,

    you're fast!

    I thought nobody was monitoring this post anymore ..

    I got hired!

    I was so nervous, I just about tripped on stage three times, I had to focus while I was stepping out of my dress because these platforms are so tricky, and I made two dollars while auditioning, and a guy already wanted a dance when I got off the stage after my audition! They also had to remind me to take off my dress - it was weird because it was one song and I am used to three .. However, this place is strict so I had to go home after the audition. I couldn't dance for the guy.

    To be honest, I miss being completely naked. Showing what's down there attracted a lot of customers .. anyway. However, now I don't have to pay so much attention to personal grooming down there. - benefit.

    There was nothing easy for the audition. It was sink or swim with the regular fish. It got complicated at some point because there were three girls on the stage and the pole was taken so I had to do other things, it's amazing how you have so little stage space in here compared to Montreal - there you had one girl on a stage 5 times the size of the stages here. I also had to physically make myself pause and think and calm down - it was hard to get to the rhythm of the music. It's weird though, no matter how much you prepare, there's nothing like the real thing. You have to go in and take the dive. That's what I like about this job. It's new every moment.

    I am still unwinding. I have to practice walking in those shoes some more. I used stillettos without platforms before and now the platforms - 2 inch, are adding a bit of a handicap. I can't push myself off the ground as easily, turn, or move faster. I find when the toes have contact with the ground and the sole is flexible, it's easier .. perhaps it's a personal preference. It's strange, the shoes can change the way you move so much. I was wondering why the girls with platforms had this certain way of moving and chose particular moves .. I understand now. I may go back to just stillettos at some point.

    This site helped me so much. I found a place to buy my shoes and dress off this site - off of one posting. I will mention it when I find it - I don't remember who it was, also the shaving and stuff - off this site .. it's been of great help!! And Phil W - THANK YOU!! And thanks to the other ladies who replied to my post.

    I used to wax .. I find shaving is easier, especially for underarms and down there - how do you wax if you work on a daily basis?

    So that's about it. Thank you for all your support!

    Now I will go and get a stiff drink.

    Good Luck to all of you people out there who are starting out or thinking about starting out or just thinking about it! You can do it! If you're a woman - I am talking to girls, I assume, you can do it .. I think, no?

    However, I think, it's important to be comfortable in your own skin and to enjoy it. Anyway, I am just a newbie here. Please don't listen to me too much.

    Carla
    Last edited by carla; 09-16-2005 at 09:31 PM.

  13. #13
    Member
    Joined
    May 2005
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: going for it

    About the shoes and outfit ..

    NYCJacqueline's is the posting that helped me to get the shoes and clothes - West Village, around West 8th Street - I found the Village Leather store and then the shop that you say was owned by the Indian lady, well, she's not there anymore but I guess it was the same store. And the saleslady was very helpful.

    Thanks!

    Carla

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •