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Thread: Moods, Bosses, post your blunt assed opinion on this!

  1. #1
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Moods, Bosses, post your blunt assed opinion on this!

    Okay, I'm wondering from those of you who have regular jobs in corporate america if you'd be so kind in giving me your blunt advice on this... and anyone else who feels the inclination to put in their two cents as well..

    If you had a boss who was constantly crabby, constantly blaming everyone else for her errors and running her support staff on crisis mode (emergency on her part does not constitute emergency on mine.. ) how would you go about handling it?

    I recently got certified as a Paralegal. I love my job. I am struggling with one of the three bosses I have. Our office is swamped. I am always on crisis mode. ALWAYS.

    I have a life insurance, health insurance, Human Resource background on top of the recent Paralegal certification. I am far from stupid, but yet, because I have yet to be trained and trained how she wants me to be, she becomes frustrated.. and her way of handling it, is not talking to me for, oh, sometimes a week.

    As a former person who used to train others, I find this very frustrating. Its a small place.. she's OWNS it. She doesn't have to do a god damn thing if she doesn't feel like it. Basically, my future is in her hands. This scares me. I have been downsized, cut and laid off so much in the last six years, that I can't take another one... I"m not dumb, but I'm not going to fuck things up by doing something and then her getting frustrated because its not done correctly and then have her not talk to me for days on end.

    Opinions Please! I love the job, I've tried talking to her, only to get a cold look in return, or her telling me she doesn't have time. Am I asking too much to be trained especially since I am so new in this field? They knew when they hired me that I knew NOTHING about the type of law that they practice, all my experience in prior law offices has been estates, contracts and lease administration and HR law. I feel like I'm failing and I can't fix it.

    And the other two.. the associate told me that this is just how she is and that she's a crappy teacher and when I asked the associate to train me she said, "I wish... like I have time for that" and the other partner... she only works ten hours a week, and raises her kids the rest of the time... and she said, "You do more work for such and such.. you need her to train you".....

    so gurus of the corporate world and all the others here who can give me un-biased advice - I am not going to be turning out resume's any time soon, but I'm feeling very low, and have been on the brink of tears going on four days now.. We're all adults in my office, but sometimes I wonder... I'm done dancing.. but I've had more than my fair share of BS this year in regular work environments.

    Oh yes, one more thing: I've been at this place for four months on September 1.

    Thank you...
    Last edited by Gynger; 08-23-2005 at 06:50 PM.


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  2. #2
    Veteran Member lwtex52's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moods, Bosses, post your blunt assed opinion on this!

    Gynger, this is only based on my limited experience and is likely not universally true. I spent 25 years in the corporate world, primarily in the petroleum industry and a few years in telecom. I found that people who adopt a "siege mentality", or run their department constantly in crisis mode, are not going to be much help in furthering your career. Unfurtunately, some do it to demonstrate that they react well in crises, and are successful at it. You just cannot count on them to help most of their employees out in their career.

    The funny thing is that the one person who helped me the most in my career was not only someone with whom I did not get along, but fired me from one job.

    We ran into each other a few years later and have been friends since, but he was the analytical type. Seemed to be TOO relaxed, but when we did have a crisis, everyone was rested and ready. I learned that when things are well planned, then the unexpected turns are more easily handled.

    I guess the point here is that the experience of working for someone like you describe is good, but I wouldn't do it for more than a year.
    My latest conspiracy theory: I am convinced that Dick Cheney is, in reality, Elmer Fudd.

  3. #3
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moods, Bosses, post your blunt assed opinion on this!

    Hi Gynger!

    How long have you been at this firm? If it's your first week or two, lots of anxiety WILL be the case, especially if it's a busy-busy firm and you're the low-person on the totem pole. It's much preferred for you to be a bit neglected, hopefully catch on by natural osmosis than get a lot of one-on-one time in busy-busy corporate America. I can totally relate.

    One thing you REALLY need to start to grasp when starting for a new company- it's OKAY to feel a little "useless" for a while, since it's going to take time for you to find comfort level and get up to speed. Are you sure your push here isn't self-inflicted by having feelings of inferiority to your work-mates? The best career's I've ever been in resulted in 1-3 weeks of me feeling like "scenery" while a storm/flurry was surrounding me. It's quite okay 99% of the time if you're doing your best to try and disseminate what's going on without putting up road-blocks to the flurry around you. Productivity IS a case of time, adaptation, and growth. Don't feel you need to be Employee of the Month your first week as you'll only cause friction if the company is extremely busy.

    Another point you need to start working on- confusion IS the first step of learning. Embrace this concept whole-heartedly and turn it into positive focus. The more confused you feel, the better you are since you KNOW you are about to grow, personally... it's win-win.

    As far as help from collegues or your manager, how are you approaching this? She's getting short with you likely due to an implied time investment she doesn't obviously have at this time. At the same time, you're feeling like a bump on a log and frustrated. This sounds like you're being too harsh on yourself, your role and your duties for such a short period of time and it's effecting you and your direct superior. Some tips:
    1) FIND something to do, work related, during this time that shows eagerness to learn. This means pour over the same emails 6-7 times looking for every possible scenario rather than solitaire when frustrated.
    2) DO a lot of homework for every question. If you are asking a question of someone busy, make sure they are brief (5-18 seconds) and 90% of the time revolve into a yes/no answer. Busy managers love this since it shows you're doing self-starter work. If not a yes/no answer, a one to three word answer is also acceptable. These don't take much time, much thought, show eagerness to learn from a superior, and don't take much involvement. Extra brownie points if you bring a notepad and jot down any answers given.
    Good examples:
    "Should I print to the laser in the hall,the one near the breakroom.. or does it matter?"
    "My MS Word crashes. Who is the MIS person to speak with to get it fixed?"
    "Are the templates mandatory or can I use my own?"

    Bad examples:
    "How do I print?"
    "Help, my computer doesn't work."
    "How do I type a letter?"
    "I'm confused with the ledger software. Help?"

    Good luck Gynger!
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moods, Bosses, post your blunt assed opinion on this!

    Ask her where to find the things to teach yourself about how to do the job. Journals, court proceedings manuals, etc. Then go ahead and do it.

    If I was at the point of tears - I would be looking for another job.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moods, Bosses, post your blunt assed opinion on this!

    I was thinking alot of what lwtex said. I also think people who run their businesses like that - always in crisis mode - are on some stupid power trip that ultimately is non-productive at best. I agree, I wouldn't stay there much longer. You've been there 4 months; I might try to stick it out a few more months, but keep my eyes and ears open for other opportunities, and find something else before too much time passes. I don't think the experience or yet another job-change avoidance is worth putting up with that much stress. I've never known people like that to get easier to deal with in time.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Senior Member Archangel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moods, Bosses, post your blunt assed opinion on this!

    Nearly every company I've worked for has been like that. Most have been small businesses, but I even had that at one multi-national company I worked for. BS rules the business world.

    Usually you can find ONE person to help you, though obviously not always. Best thing to do is to go with the flow and only stand your ground when you absolutely must. Take the money and leave the job stress at the door when you get home.

    If they use mushroom management, it is even easier to distance yourself mentally. For those unfamiliar with the term, it means that the "bosses" keep everyone in the dark about nearly everything and feeds them a line of shit about everything else.

    Everyone has different limits for jobs like this. Mine was 3 years. Then it was time to move out and up. The best thing to do, if you have the personality for it, is to create your own business and run it the way you feel a business should be run.

    In the mean time, just keep telling yourself that it doesn't really matter what the lunatic does, it's her company and you're just along for the ride for a while...
    -=# Archangel

    "Who is to say what is a sin in God's eyes?" (Pearl from The Scarlet Letter)
    "Every man dies; not every man really lives." (William Wallace from Braveheart)

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