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Thread: Girls, need your advice

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    Default Girls, need your advice

    I visit a club 2-3 times a month and spend around $1k on one girl every month. She asked for my number several times and said maybe we can go out sometime. I finally gave it to her a month ago, but she never called me. Every time I visited, she always stayed with me for an hour or two, sweet and nice. And I would get some dances. When its done, she said she would be with me a little bit, but I was always ignored. I really like the girl and enjoy staying with the girl. But I hate being ignored after getting a lot of dances. It makes me feel like being used. And I do not expect a date outside or something. So I do not understand why she asked the number and not call. Is that just trick to screw my mind and keep me visiting or what? What do you think?

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by ivanahumpalot
    So I do not understand why she asked the number and not call. Is that just trick to screw my mind and keep me visiting or what?
    Yes it is.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    hmm, that sucks. I visit because I feel good with her. She does not have to fool me to keep me coming. If I start feeling uncomfortable, the fund is cut. this will not do any good to her. it is a good way to lose me instead of keeping me as a regular.

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Sometimes a person can be too clever for their own good.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    So I do not understand why she asked the number and not call. Is that just trick to screw my mind and keep me visiting or what?
    Is water wet?

    Is the earth round?

    Does a stripper strip?

    Is this a trick question?
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by ivanahumpalot
    hmm, that sucks. I visit because I feel good with her. She does not have to fool me to keep me coming. If I start feeling uncomfortable, the fund is cut. this will not do any good to her. it is a good way to lose me instead of keeping me as a regular.
    Since I had a nap today and have nothing better to do, I'm going to assume that this is a real post and not some troll. I don't know where you are, but in most clubs someone that visits a couple of times of month and spend $1,000 on one girl would get the undivided attention of that lucky girl for as long as he's there. Hell, for that kind of money I'd go outside and detail your car!
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    okok, i decide to move onto another girl. she is not the best one there but she is one that fits me well.
    so when i visit next time she will sit with me with no doubt. if you were me, what would you do? Just say no when she asks for dances? soudns too rude for me

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by ivanahumpalot
    okok, i decide to move onto another girl. she is not the best one there but she is one that fits me well.
    so when i visit next time she will sit with me with no doubt. if you were me, what would you do? Just say no when she asks for dances? soudns too rude for me
    If you go to a clothing store and don't see anything you like, do you buy a suit so you won't hurt the saleman's feelings? Just tell her that you're going to get some dances from other girls today. No need for drama, just keep it as simple as that. If she asks why, tell her your in the mood for a change. FYI: If your known as her regular among the other girls in the club, you may have to take the initiative and invite some other girls to join you. It's an unwritten rule among dancers that you don't move in on a another girl's regular.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Destiny,
    trust me. I am serious. Im from east coast. imho the money I spend on her is not bad at all. On a REAL good weekday, I believe they get $500-600 at most, which I can cover 80%-100%. On a busy saturday 800-1k for a good hustler, but I seldom go on weekends as I ve got other things to do.

    One night I spent $300 already on her, she said "i will sit with you" It was early so i planned to spend antoher 200-300. So i waited for 2hrs watching her sitting with other2 guys. I dont think there is anything wrong to make more money. If there is better chance to get some money then go ahead and leave me alone. I am cool with that. I am not a jealous customer. But those guys just rubbed her back and never bought a dance at all. She just kept going back and sitting with them and did not look at me at all even when she was on stage. And She did not look like enjoying the conversation with them, just hoping to make money imo. this really pissed me off that night. i waited two fucking hours, I did not get what I want, She neither.

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Oh I don't doubt that story at all. I've seen it happen too. I can't count the number of times I've seen a hot young girl on stage get tipped by well-dressed guys that were obviously wanting some dances from her. What does she do when she's done on stage? Walk right past the interested customers to go sit with a bunch of young punks that only buy her a couple of drinks. There is a reason for this. Some girls are stupid. These are the same girls sitting in the dressing room bitching about how there is no money to be made.

    Let's do some math. You spend $300 on dances and say, "let's take a little break" have a drink, talk, whatever. So you sit together for a while, to make the math easy, lets say for an hour, just hanging out. Then you get $200 more in dances. That's $500 for less than 3 hours! That's pretty good money most places, and it sounds like it's good money where you are as well. Personally, if a guy's spending money on me, I don't leave him alone until I'm convinced I've gotten all of his money that i can.

    The only suggestion I would make is that if you want a girl to sit with you and hang out, you need to make sure she understands that there is more money to be made. Say something like, "let's have a drink while we rest up for round two" or something like that. There are some guys that will get a few dances and expect you to sit with them all night. $300 is more than a few dances, but you get the point.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    well, as for your clothing example, my answer is 50% yes, if he is a good talker and makes me real happy.
    Once my friend wanted to get a suit and I went to a store with him but I did not plan to buy anything at all. But the result is I am the only who bought a suit. i know i should learn how to say no long time ago.
    well back to the sc story, I am very happy with the girl before i get dance from her. she just never looks like satisfied with the money she gets from me. it sounds to me like if she gets $400 from me already she wants more for that night from other guys. maybe it is just some easy money a almost guaranteed several hundered per visit. I am not trying to waste all her time, another 10min after dance is good enough for me. But lokks like she never gets it. thans a l ot for you advice. I think i am considered as her regular

    Quote Originally Posted by Destiny
    If you go to a clothing store and don't see anything you like, do you buy a suit so you won't hurt the saleman's feelings? Just tell her that you're going to get some dances from other girls today. No need for drama, just keep it as simple as that. If she asks why, tell her your in the mood for a change. FYI: If your known as her regular among the other girls in the club, you may have to take the initiative and invite some other girls to join you. It's an unwritten rule among dancers that you don't move in on a another girl's regular.

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    well, it was a pretty quiet night. I believe there are only 4-5 more people. maybe she just made her bet on those guys. obviously,the house won, she lost.
    and another thing i really dont like is the girls are lame. they never approach you. some real good looking girls just sit there and talk to each other, whcih is really stupid. i alway left with all the money in my pocket as i never started a conversation.

    i did tell her lets have a break. she said lets finish it together then we can sit down. ****, i trusted her. and you know what happened next. yea, somet\imes, she did show up once and say hello to me once and thats it. i am spending and i should take control. not her, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Destiny
    Oh I don't doubt that story at all. I've seen it happen too. I can't count the number of times I've seen a hot young girl on stage get tipped by well-dressed guys that were obviously wanting some dances from her. What does she do when she's done on stage? Walk right past the interested customers to go sit with a bunch of young punks that only buy her a couple of drinks. There is a reason for this. Some girls are stupid. These are the same girls sitting in the dressing room bitching about how there is no money to be made.

    Let's do some math. You spend $300 on dances and say, "let's take a little break" have a drink, talk, whatever. So you sit together for a while, to make the math easy, lets say for an hour, just hanging out. Then you get $200 more in dances. That's $500 for less than 3 hours! That's pretty good money most places, and it sounds like it's good money where you are as well. Personally, if a guy's spending money on me, I don't leave him alone until I'm convinced I've gotten all of his money that i can.

    The only suggestion I would make is that if you want a girl to sit with you and hang out, you need to make sure she understands that there is more money to be made. Say something like, "let's have a drink while we rest up for round two" or something like that. There are some guys that will get a few dances and expect you to sit with them all night. $300 is more than a few dances, but you get the point.

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    Veteran Member cpeters1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Destiny
    I can't count the number of times I've seen a hot young girl on stage get tipped by well-dressed guys that were obviously wanting some dances from her. What does she do when she's done on stage? Walk right past the interested customers to go sit with a bunch of young punks that only buy her a couple of drinks.
    Damn you must go to the same club as I do. I hate the wanna be drug pusher looking wal-mart backwards hat wearing punks. I think the dancers friends show up and they just hang out. She probably already made the money she wanted from the night and now she justs wants to sit with her friends and f-off. Crap, I just think I understood the crappy dancer for a second. The problem as I see it is that she is working and I am paying, yet I am being ingored. However, I need to remind myself that dancers are typically independent contractors who work as they like, set their own goals for the night and do as they please, regardless if the customers are paying or not. Also why would the club care, they get there money in the stage fees, so work or not, the club gets paid.

    [rant]
    I have been to clubs, ready to send several hundred bucks, clean cut guy, not smelly, not fat, not grey, late 30's, and not had a single dancer come up to me, and yes I tipped on stage. However, the g-money boyfriends got plenty of action and never bought a single dance. I just don't get a work ethic like that.
    [\rant]

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    Veteran Member cpeters1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by ivanahumpalot
    One night I spent $300 already on her, she said "i will sit with you" It was early so i planned to spend antoher 200-300. So i waited for 2hrs watching her sitting with other2 guys.
    Dude you must make a ton of money to drop that kinda cash on dancers you barely know. I don't think money buys loyalty, especially for the younger dancers who are more interested in partying with their friends who show up every night. Try spending 50 bucks on like 2 or 3 dances, then take a break. Spread it out more. Hell, I think that she sees you as easy money. 2-300 in one shot is way too much, unless you are a rich f-er or highroller, which I think they would sense and never leave your side.

    I'd say you are boderline PL, but show potential to improve. Next time she does not come back within 10 minutes, spend the rest of your money on another dancer, assuming you see one you like, or better yet, leave, and save the cash for someone more deserving.

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    If she isnt treating you the way you want to be treated granted Im assuming you are not asking for extras and you said you are not asking for a date....then move on to another girl. At least give her a chance by telling her that you think its better that she hang out more. (for cripes sake you are spending 1000...even if that was for the entire day damn Id hang out with you for as long as you wanted on my shift...shoot).

    You already make it worth her while to hang around and if she doesnt get the hint politly start trying other girls out. If they are smart they will already know how you treat your current ATF and would be ready to line up. I dont know what kind of ITC relationship you are looking for though...so thats as far as I can extend my advice.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    So what if she got your number and never called? Maybe she lost it, maybe she plans to use it later, maybe she will only use it if she doesn't see you for a while, maybe it was just a way to make you feel special - either way certainly no cause for major concern.

    The fact of the matter is, we go to work to make money, and we're there to make as much as we can in the time we're there. Once the money's gone, we're off to the next customer. That's just how it works.

    Unless I'm reading your post wrong, you spend a total of $1k per month on her, spread over 2-3 visits. That's about $300-500 per visit. Not the kind of money a smart stripper will spend all night with you for. If you spend an hour or two with her, honestly, $300-500 is about right - most of us would make that for an hour or two in a vip room or doing a bunch of dances for a regular.

    I'm not saying she should immediately jump up and run off as soon as you've bought your last dance, but you can't expect her to hang out for long. Once it's over, it's over. She should take her time getting dressed, spend a few extra minutes in chitchat, thank you sincerely, and make her exit. Apparently she does spend some amount of free time BEFORE starting the dances, and you enjoy her company/dances, so you ARE getting what you pay for - good entertainment.

    You say you enjoy her, so IMO if you like it, you should adjust your expectations slightly (realize she's got to get back to work when she's done with you), forget about the phone number thing, and enjoy your time with her.

    If you feel used, IMO it has more to do with some problem in your own mind about "paying for it" and not really anything that she's doing wrong.

    There are cases where I'd say the stripper is being unprofessional and not treating you appropriately, but this really isn't one of them.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Hey, girl, you know on weekdays, they only get 300-500 /night, right?
    dhow much do you consider enough for me to spend for the night?
    also this is east, not cali, ok? and btw I did not expect to take all her time that night at all



    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette
    So what if she got your number and never called? Maybe she lost it, maybe she plans to use it later, maybe she will only use it if she doesn't see you for a while, maybe it was just a way to make you feel special - either way certainly no cause for major concern.

    The fact of the matter is, we go to work to make money, and we're there to make as much as we can in the time we're there. Once the money's gone, we're off to the next customer. That's just how it works.

    Unless I'm reading your post wrong, you spend a total of $1k per month on her, spread over 2-3 visits. That's about $300-500 per visit. Not the kind of money a smart stripper will spend all night with you for. If you spend an hour or two with her, honestly, $300-500 is about right - most of us would make that for an hour or two in a vip room or doing a bunch of dances for a regular.

    I'm not saying she should immediately jump up and run off as soon as you've bought your last dance, but you can't expect her to hang out for long. Once it's over, it's over. She should take her time getting dressed, spend a few extra minutes in chitchat, thank you sincerely, and make her exit. Apparently she does spend some amount of free time BEFORE starting the dances, and you enjoy her company/dances, so you ARE getting what you pay for - good entertainment.

    You say you enjoy her, so IMO if you like it, you should adjust your expectations slightly (realize she's got to get back to work when she's done with you), forget about the phone number thing, and enjoy your time with her.

    If you feel used, IMO it has more to do with some problem in your own mind about "paying for it" and not really anything that she's doing wrong.

    There are cases where I'd say the stripper is being unprofessional and not treating you appropriately, but this really isn't one of them.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Step back there a bit hun. Wasn't trying to be harsh, just telling it like it is.

    Girls can actually expect to make MORE in the east than in CA, FYI.

    As I said in my earlier post, most of us will make $300-500 for an hour or two in vip or doing a bunch of dances for a regular. So while your spending level is in line with norms, it's certainly not enough to justify a girl spending more than an hour or two with you (which happens to be the time you say you already spend with her). You're getting exactly the normal amount of time and company for your money.

    Just because SOME girls only make $300-500 per night (after tipouts and house fees) on SOME nights, doesn't mean you should expect anymore time than you're already getting from your current fave. What any girl makes in a night is irrelevant and you shouldn't even consider it in making your buying decisions.

    From what you've posted, you're getting precisely what you should for the money spent. You say you like her company/entertainment and are happy to continue buying from her, whether or not she calls you. So why mess with a good thing?

    Once again, sorry if my pointing out the realities here come off harsh. Just stating the facts. If it's merely the fact that I don't feel sorry for you that bothers you, well too bad. You said yourself you're getting a good service for your money and I have a hard time feeling sorry for anyone in that position. I don't get the impression from your description that she's doing anything out of line or abusing your generosity. If I thought that, I'd tell you to dump her ass and find a girl who'll provide better service!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Also FYI, most likely this girl has other regulars besides you, and it's entirely possible she could have had another show up the same night as you so she had to deal with him too. Stuff like that happens, it's business.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by ivanahumpalot
    I visit a club 2-3 times a month and spend around $1k on one girl every month. She asked for my number several times and said maybe we can go out sometime. I finally gave it to her a month ago, but she never called me. Every time I visited, she always stayed with me for an hour or two, sweet and nice. And I would get some dances. When its done, she said she would be with me a little bit, but I was always ignored. I really like the girl and enjoy staying with the girl. But I hate being ignored after getting a lot of dances. It makes me feel like being used. And I do not expect a date outside or something. So I do not understand why she asked the number and not call. Is that just trick to screw my mind and keep me visiting or what? What do you think?
    Been there done that (well still doing that actually).

    My ATF gave me her number back in March stating that she'd like to go out to dinner. I knew it was total BS to keep me coming in, but I called her anyway to give my number. As expected, no calls from her. Each subsequent visit since then (a whopping two visits) the first thing out of her mouth before I said anything, was her excuse for not calling. No gal can possibly be that flaky.

    The irony is that she's very entertaining ITC and gives great dances (which is why I've stuck with her), and had she not started this whole "I want to see you OTC" crap, I might be enjoying that time even more (like spending more money). Unfortunately, she can't seem to realize that she hasn't made any additional sales on account of her pulling this stunt (to be truthful, she's lost about $100 in dances). I may just have to really lower the boom next visit to straighten her out.

    All I can say is, a SC is a very caveat emptor environment, and spending more money doesn't neccesarily grant you better service. If you're not getting a good ROI for the money you're spending, cut it off. In fact, explain to the dancer who you feel wronged you, why you're cutting it off, and what she's going to have to do to get the cash spigot running again. Either she complies, or she goes off to find a path of lesser resistance. Taking your business to other dancers will help salve the wound as well.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by cpeters1
    Damn you must go to the same club as I do. I hate the wanna be drug pusher looking wal-mart backwards hat wearing punks. I think the dancers friends show up and they just hang out. She probably already made the money she wanted from the night and now she justs wants to sit with her friends and f-off. Crap, I just think I understood the crappy dancer for a second. The problem as I see it is that she is working and I am paying, yet I am being ingored. However, I need to remind myself that dancers are typically independent contractors who work as they like, set their own goals for the night and do as they please, regardless if the customers are paying or not. Also why would the club care, they get there money in the stage fees, so work or not, the club gets paid.
    Well if you're gonna rant I might as well join in. You are right, the whole problem is the way the clubs are run. The dancer's goals and the club's goals are not totally in line with each other. A prime example is the stupid independent contrator thing. Why do I say that? Well, like you said, the dancer is perfectly within her rights to sit on her butt and drink. She paid her house fee, she can do what she wants. But the end result of this is that you, a customer, leaves the club unhappy. The main product of strip clubs is nekkid girls! I know that sounds obvious, but I really don't think most strip club management understands that. So let's look at this from a business perspective. Your main product is nekkid girls, so you devise a plan where you have very little control over what you are selling? How idiotic is that. That's like Friday's contracting out the preparation of the food at their restaurants. Like I've said before, strip clubs are some of the worst run businesses in America.

    You see the same attitude on this site. Some guy will post, "I went to a club and not a single girl approached me". The response is always, "well, did you tip on stage? were you clean? did you dress nice? did you smile? did you make eye contact? did you tip the waitress well?" Who the hell cares? He's a guy wanting to spend money. When I go to a shoe store and stop and pick up a cute pair of shoes, the salesman doesn't sit behind the counter waiting for me to smile at him and make eye contact. He's right there at my side asking, "would you like to try those on?" Why should the strip club business be any different?

    [rant]
    I have been to clubs, ready to send several hundred bucks, clean cut guy, not smelly, not fat, not grey, late 30's, and not had a single dancer come up to me, and yes I tipped on stage. However, the g-money boyfriends got plenty of action and never bought a single dance. I just don't get a work ethic like that.
    [\rant]
    Some time back I posted an unscientific poll on this topic on the blue site. I got pretty much the same results you describe. Every day there are plenty of guys that walk out of clubs with hundreds of dollars in their pockets that they didn't spend. Why? Maybe their favorite dancers wasn't working that day. Maybe they just didn't see a girl with "it". (Whatever the hell "it" is, only men seem to know). But far too many walk out for the sole reason that not a single girl offered them a dance. But I can assure you that you will not make friends in the dressing room if you tell girls that.

    Now personally, if you come into the club where I'm working, my goal is to empty your wallet. And if you want more fun, well there's an ATM near the entrance! Maybe I'm a money-hungry bitch, I don't know. But you won't find me scrambling around working 10-12 hour shifts at the end of the month to make my rent payment, or calling regulars to borrow money because my electricity was turned off.

    I doubt the strip club culture will ever change though. I'm thinking that most of the people with the management skills necessary to really improve things don't see strip club management as a worthy profession. Which is too bad, since they could make a fortune. Well, that's my rant for the day, I feel better now.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Senior Member Lexy9804's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    I understand both the dancers way of thinking provided the thug looking individuals are her friends, and also your point of view as the paying customer. As a dancer I know how it feels after working five to seven days straight. When a friend or a group of friends stop in, its nice to sit down and kick back for a few regardless if they are spending money or not. Not the smartest move financially, but sometimes a dancer just needs a break. As a customer, when you spend that kind of cash on one girl you feel like she should be sitting with you. Dancers have no loyalty to customers. Your just paying her rent, to put it bluntly. As far as the phone number bit, I have no idea why a dancer would ask for a phone number and not call unless she lost it...
    "The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up."
    ~Marilyn Monroe

  23. #23
    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    You see the same attitude on this site. Some guy will post, "I went to a club and not a single girl approached me"
    Kinda offtopic from the op, but I had to comment on this... I just don't get it... how shy are these guys? it must be really hard for them in reallife if when they go to a strip club and don't get asked for a dance they can't even bring themselves to take the initiative themselves....


    Like sure, continuing the shoe analogy, I need a pair of shoes, I go to the shoe store, and if the clerk doesn't ask if I want help, I don't speak up myself and say "I'd like to buy a pair of shoes" ?? And instead, I walk out pissed off?

    Last edited by dlabtot; 08-24-2005 at 09:49 AM.

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot
    Kinda offtopic from the op, but I had to comment on this... I just don't get it... how shy are these guys? it must be really hard for them in reallife if when they go to a strip club and don't get asked for a dance they can't even bring themselves to take the initiative themselves....
    Well, I think I'm the one that actually derailed this thread, for which I apologize.

    I go back to my shoe store example. I pick up a pair of shoes I'm interested in. But the salesman is sitting up at the counter shooting the breeze with his friends, who obviously aren't there to buy shoes. Now, maybe I'd go up to him, interrupt, and ask him to get my size so I could try them on. But would you blame me if I just said, "screw him, I'll take my business elsewhere"?

    As far as shy guys, yes, there are a lot of them. They are my best customers and provide me with a pretty decent living.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Default Re: Girls, need your advice

    Quote Originally Posted by ivanahumpalot
    Hey, girl, you know on weekdays, they only get 300-500 /night, right?
    dhow much do you consider enough for me to spend for the night?
    also this is east, not cali, ok? and btw I did not expect to take all her time that night at all
    Wow, aren't you the charmer. I just can't imagine why she wouldn't want to hang out with you for free all night, since you seem so compassionate and empathetic.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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