I'm 26, newly married and also a new mom. I was an exotic dancer for 3 years before I met my husband and got pregnant. It was very unplanned and happened at a very inoppertune time. I was dancing at a new club that I liked and was planning on making appearances at other clubs, my body was in the best shape it had ever been in, and I was making really good money for being in a pretty remote area. I was happy.
Now I'm not. Although I love my daughter more than anything and I'm happy with my husband more often than not, I still feel incomplete. I really really miss dancing. I miss being on stage and being the center of attention, I miss having the fun that I did when I danced, I miss the money, and I miss the release it gave me from life.
Now I've gained weight, I don't work at all, my husband works lots so I'm stuck home a lot with the baby, and I just don't consider myself fun anymore. My self esteem has dropped lower than it was before I started dancing. I feel like a single mother half the time.
My husband was never a strip club type of guy. I only saw him a handful of times when I was dancing at the local club where I started at. He said he doesn't want me to start dancing again because I'm a mommy now. He hasn't absolutely forbidden me to do it again, he would just rather I didn't. I know he wants me to be happy, but he just doesn't understand how important dancing is to me. I really don't want to retire right now. I've even gone as far as planning to go visit family and go dance at the local club there while I'm gone.
I think one of the main problems of why he doesn't want me to dance anymore is because he's afraid of people finding out (family) and getting shit for it. And also because our daughter is so young right now. It would be hard to find a sitter for her that we feel comfortable with. Right now my parents babysit her when I need them to. There is absolutely NO WAY that they would watch her for me to go dancing. They disapprove of it very much and it would cause lots of problems between us.
Any help or other suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
Trinity


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