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Thread: How to say NO to girls

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    Default How to say NO to girls

    Here are several situations under which I want to say NO. But how should I say that politely.
    1. I just want to sit a little bit and do not want to buy laps today. I am tired or do not have enough money with me.
    2. A girl comes to me and ask if I want a dance. But I do not think the girl attractive.
    3. A waitress asks if I want to buy drink for the gril sitting with me. I do not want to as I do not think she is good looking.

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    Member WMassGuy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    1. No, thank you. Dancer: "Why not?" "Just got in, and feeling kinda tired. Perhaps some other time...?" (usually works)

    2. No, thank you. (again, usually works) If she is a bit persistent, I usually say, "OK, Maybe a little later." (however, by that time, the place usually fills up with fresh faces, to where she's forgotten about me)

    3. Hmm... ?
    http://www.myspace.com/wmassguy

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    A polite "No Thank You" works for all situations. Sometimes you need several polite "No Thank You"s, but one should never deviate into rudeness. Its not neccessary.

    You are in control of your money and who and what it goes to. Understanding that concept should be enough to negate the need for rudeness.

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    Veteran Member Alexis81's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    1. No, Thank you. I don't have the money to buy dances today
    2. No, Thank you, I'm waiting for another girl
    3. No, Thank you, I'm waiting for someone to join me
    Alexis



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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    "No thank you" has always worked for me. If they get persistent, you're free to use a less polite version.

    You're not obliged to explain a reason for turning them down.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Quote Originally Posted by WMassGuy
    I usually say, "OK, Maybe a little later."
    Well I usually use this, but a bitch even shouted at me.

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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    "No."

    Very easy.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    You from a dancers perspective a simple no thank you is much better then feeding me exusess. If you don't engage in conversation with me i will leave. thanks

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    Veteran Member TROU8LE~'s Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    "No thank you, Im just relaxing."
    Just dont tell us "Maybe later" if you really dont want us later! We really hate that!! I would rather you tell me youre with another girl instead of "maybe later." Ya know?

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Quote Originally Posted by TROU8LE~
    "No thank you, Im just relaxing."
    Just dont tell us "Maybe later" if you really dont want us later! We really hate that!! I would rather you tell me youre with another girl instead of "maybe later." Ya know?
    I know 'maybe later' is not what the dancers want to hear, but sometimes it's the truth. Of course if we know the answer is no, we should say so, but sometimes the answer really is maybe.
    Last edited by dlabtot; 09-01-2005 at 09:48 AM.

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    PLease do not use "maybe later" wehn you mean NO. Why not? Because we, stupid dancers, actually think you mean MAYBE LATTER. Silly us, we take you at your word. So we come back after a while and then you say, "Not now, come back in a little while. " Guillible things that we are, we figure this might actaully mean you want us to come back in a little while. and then when we ask yet a third time, doing out best to smile and look happy even though idiots have been playing the later game with us all night, we jsut loose it and something totally honest comes out of our mouths, for example:

    WHY DID YOU NOT JUST TELL ME NO THE FIRST TIME INSTEAD OF WASTING MY TIME, YOU STUPID LOSER!

    Same goes for guys who tell us they have no money, and then get dances with every other girl in the bar. Don't lie to us for goodness sake. We are neither blind nor stupid.

    A simple "No thank you" will suffice.


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    Featured Member MinahSky's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    1. If you're tired and/or dont' have enough money, why are you there? Go home.
    2. If she's not your type, simply say, "No thank you"
    3. If she's not your type, why have you allowed her to waste her (and your) time by sitting down? You invited the BTLAD by permitting that. Simply tell her that you're watching the stage and now is not the right time for you to have company, thanks for the offer.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Do unto others as you would have them do to you...it's less work to be nice than it is to be evil!

    "Miss ChiChi, if you was my girl you would never cry from anything...except maybe happiness."

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Just don't! Just always say yes!
    Ladies - stop giving out this kind of advice - you're betraying the sisterhood!
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Newbie just one more's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Yep, a firm, polite "no thankyou" usually works, I do have a hard time staying polite with the ones who continue. "Why don't you want a dance form me" has to be at least as dumb a question as guys asking what your real name is. I'm always tempted to answer honestly.

    Quote Originally Posted by MinahSky
    3. If she's not your type, why have you allowed her to waste her (and your) time by sitting down? You invited the BTLAD by permitting that. Simply tell her that you're watching the stage and now is not the right time for you to have company, thanks for the offer.
    If dancers ask if I want company or some such, I agree with you. If they just sit down, they're on their own.

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    Veteran Member azdd's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    I definitely agree on not using the "maybe later" response, unless you really mean it. If I really want her to come back later, I specifically ask her to do so, and give her a time frame, like "Can you come back and see me in a half hour or after your stage? Promise? Great, I'll look forward to it!"

    If I'm not interested, I've found that a simple no thanks with a nice smile is almost always accepted with a smile back. If she is persistent, or wants to sit down, I will tell her one of the following (whichever is true at that moment):
    1. I just got here, and I'm not ready to get any company or dances yet.
    2. You're welcome to join me, but I am waiting for ________ (insert ATF, or someone else you are waiting for), and I don't want to keep you from other customers.
    3. The last alternative (which I've only had to use a few times), is to simply tell the dancer that you appreciate her offering to spend time with you, but she's just not your type. If she doesn't leave after this, I would NEVER buy a dance from her, not then, not ever, and tell her why. You can always complain to a manager, but this can generate its own negative fallout from other dancers that you DO want to spend time with!

    Oh, and since someone else mentioned it, I HATE IT when a waitress asks me if I want to buy a drink for a dancer that is sitting with me, and I HATE IT more, when the dancer asks for it outright. This isn't an issue in Arizona because dancers can't drink on the club floor, but in other states this drives me nuts. If I am enjoying the company, and it's allowed, I will certainly offer to buy a drink, but if I haven't offered, then I refuse to be guilted into it!

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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    Just don't! Just always say yes!
    Exactly my problem.

    There is a very good reason that we call ourselves junkies.

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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    A polite "No Thank You" works for all situations. Sometimes you need several polite "No Thank You"s, but one should never deviate into rudeness. Its not neccessary.

    You are in control of your money and who and what it goes to. Understanding that concept should be enough to negate the need for rudeness.
    Truth.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner
    Exactly my problem.

    There is a very good reason that we call ourselves junkies.
    Ah, see - now you're practically my new best friend.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Open mouth. Engage vocal chords. Move lips and tongue to form the words "no, thank you." Close mouth. Curl up corners of lips.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

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    In beer there is freedom. In water there is bacteria. ~*

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    Just don't! Just always say yes!
    Ladies - stop giving out this kind of advice - you're betraying the sisterhood!
    HAHAHA! That's hilarious!

    THe first "no" usually works for me... But I probably do give a bit of an attitude when I hear the "maybe later". It pisses me off. Like, I can't handle it? I just never come back. Other guys around.

    Maybe just repeating "no, thank you" when she tries to push it?
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    Just don't! Just always say yes!
    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner
    Exactly my problem.

    There is a very good reason that we call ourselves junkies.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    Ah, see - now you're practically my new best friend.
    Damn, Jenny, you are a tough egg to crack.

    You declare "always say yes" when it comes to dances

    TOO freely admits to having that weakness

    You reward him by saying hes "practically" your new best friend. "Practically" is for wimps and PL's. I believe he deserves the full NBF status along with all the rights and privileges befitting that rank

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  22. #22
    Crissychan
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    I like to approach the custy with open-ended questions, like " Do you mind if I join you?" This allows the custy a chance to say No, and save me the next 10 minutes if they have no intenion of buy a dance from me. If I have been sitting with him, and when I offer him a dance and he says "Maybe later" I smile and tell him I'll be around and to let me know if he wants a dance,.

    I don't have time to check back on a busy night so this avoids anyone needing to be rude.

  23. #23
    Veteran Member Santos's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Just look the dancer or the waitress in the eye and give a polite "no thank you". Don't make excuses; looking her in the eye helps convey that you really do mean "no thanks". If she becomes rude (and it does happen sometimes), just ignore her.

    It’s your money--spend it how you want, on who you want to spend it on and when you want to spend it.

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    Member mice's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    Sometimes it is very, very easy not to say no. How often do girls come up and start up a conversation and flirt with me in real life? Never.

    I'm telling you, even if there was no nakedness or whatever its still going to be very hard for me to say no to a girl.

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    Featured Member MinahSky's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to say NO to girls

    I would like to advise the customers here to say what they mean. Nothing else. It will help everyone involved if you simply say what's on your mind. If you don't want us to sit down, tell us that you're watching the stage show. If you dont' want a dance, when we ask, say "No, thank you". Makes life easier on all involved. Try it, I'm sure you'll see a positive difference in your club experience.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Do unto others as you would have them do to you...it's less work to be nice than it is to be evil!

    "Miss ChiChi, if you was my girl you would never cry from anything...except maybe happiness."

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