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Thread: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

  1. #1
    madmaxine
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    Exclamation Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    This afternoon I hurt my sister's feelings because she was being too huggy on me (she is going out of town.) I snapped at her because I hate excessive touchy-feely-ness....I apologized. But then we got into an arguement about my statement that "I don't want to be touched unless I'm getting laid." She got mad because her boyfriend said something similar and she thought it was wrong. I told her it's a common "machismo/a" thing to not like invasions of personal space, (unless for a really good reason, like getting sex )
    I also hate it because my two biggest loser boyfriends were hand-holders...???...very touchy-feely & needy....and today I wouldn't piss on fire to put them out. So I get paranoid of hand-holder types.
    OK....what are your opinions?

  2. #2
    Senior Member TorontoGuy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    I'm a 'personal space' kind of person, but I work with 'touchy' people... I can live with it, though the touchy guys creep me out while the touchy girls just make me wonder if they'd be that way with my wife in the room.

    Generally speaking, I think it's not worth arguing about as long as they're not obviously ill (and therefore possibly spreading their germs on you) and as long as they're someone you know and like.

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    I want my space. It bugs the crap out of me when people in line at the grocery store get too close. Please don't breathe down my neck!!

    On the other hand, with people I love I'm very hand-holdy.

    So, normal?

    Eh... no such thing.



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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    My family is huggy and I like it ! But we dont get in your face type of huggy just the greeting huggy thing I like it !

  5. #5
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    There's huggy people and nonhuggy people. Neither of them are weird, unless they're taking it to extremes - they just have different needs, that's all. I'm nonhuggy, but I'll cough one up when cornered. In fact, the older I get, the more accepting I get of it.

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    Senior Member Alexis1313's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    I'm with Hardkandee. I'm not sure if there really is such a thing as "normal". People like what they like and don't like what they don't. It's extra nice to find someone who shares your likes though.

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    Member DeLovely's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    I would have been hurt too if my sister didn't want a hug from me.

  8. #8
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    Well, to clarify, she was grabbing my arm while driving...hard to explain, but anything resembling handholding bothers me.....just a personal quirk. Uh, and her driving makes me nervous, I wanted both of her hands on the steering wheel.
    But anyhow, I am just not excessively touchy feely. And I feel like huggy people are trying to hide something from me by being too physically demonstrative and not verbally open...or they're just needy and copping contact.
    Or I'm just an iceberg. I already have a stony heart. LOL

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    Member DeLovely's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    Do you think it has to do with dancing ? I know I dislike being touched more now than before I began working in stripclubs.

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    Me personally, I only let people near me that I like- it's actually my way of judging people, whether or not being close to them makes me want to barf, lol. But i totally get the personal space thing, as I FLIP on people that i don't know getting into my space (especially close-talkers).

    But grabbing your arm while you're driving is different- that would freak anyone out.

    My usual personal space meter is the circle you can make in front of you with your arms. No closer unless invited or unless I obviously like you.

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    I kind of have the same issue. Here in NYC, it seems like everyone greets each other when they're out with a silly Euro-kiss on both cheeks (even if they're born and bred in the USA) and I find it kind of annoying.

    Remember the magic words in Dirty Dancing: "This is my space and that's your dance space. I don't come into yours and you don't come into mine." Or something like that...
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

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  12. #12
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    Oh yeah, dancing has a lot to do with it. I only work in low-or-no-contact clubs now. I get nauseated when many custies touch me.

    But seriously, some cultures have less touchy-feely-ness. Japan, for example.

    (Just from my past life experience, there is something wrong with a man who wants to hold my hand before I'm ready to let him.....the next time one pulls that, I'm going to go ghetto on his a*s.)
    PS I would hold hands in important situations, like plane going down, impending execution, funeral....you know, appropriate situations. LOL

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    Member WMassGuy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    <-- Does not like contact.

    Stay away! Especially during the summer months.

    I am not a very touchy-feely sort of person. I express myself in words and action. I can't stand hand holding or public displays of affection. (romantic or otherwise)(personally) I need and want my space. When I walk in public, I tend to swing my arms quite a bit, so holding onto someone's hand is very uncomfortable.

    And...I'm just very uneasy about the whole thing anyway. <shrug>
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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    I'm generally a "don't touch me do you need to be so damn close" kinda girl, but now with my anxiety and when getting a panic attack, I'd literally drape myself all over my guy for comfort. Which would then lead to sex and everything is hunky dory again!
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    What about the talking-to-close to you one? That one freaks me out and random unneeded touches. If there is no positive meaning to it then no - no touchy.

    I dont think anything is wrong with you by wanting more space. Some people are just cool with touchyness from others sexual or not. I think youre normal you just have boundries is all.
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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    Quote Originally Posted by hardkandee
    It bugs the crap out of me when people in line at the grocery store get too close. Please don't breathe down my neck!! .
    Oh, sorry. By the way, nice bra.

    Talking close ---- "do you serve towels with your showers?"

    Free dose of flu anyone? Come closer.

    Every culture seems to have its own sense of personal space. Interesting articles I've seen about that over the years.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: Rant-Grrr....What Is Normal? Personal Space

    Whether speaking about personal space or anything else, and as long as you aren't harming anyone else, normal "is what it is" for any given individual, as many others have spoken/written in the past. The key word being, "individual."

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