anyone ever keep their job a secret from their boyfriend? how'd that pan out? i want to start dancing, but know i may lose my guy over it----
anyone ever keep their job a secret from their boyfriend? how'd that pan out? i want to start dancing, but know i may lose my guy over it----
Yeah, uh... That's not going to work out.
Talk to your bf, if he's not supportive... Well, you get to pick.
You can give the secret thing a shot and all, but the World really is a small place. I'm guessing he'll find out. Along with most of the other people you know.





I guess if you don't mind him keeping similarly large secrets from you, go for it... that doesn't sound like a recipe for a good relationship though, does it?





Your boyfriend will eventually be the one to tell your family and all your friends. Love and betrayal.![]()
thanks; yeah i guess i knew that was a no brainer. damn.
so what do you think you'll end up doing? have you guys ever discussed it?
Oh, I musta took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
howdy ho, junior rangers.
i'm not quite sure yet. he's told me a very long time ago that he would not date a stripper. however, i'm working an office job to get through college at it's really busting my hump (you know the kind: working ridiculous hours for peanuts barely getting bills paid with just enough time to study and in that crappy office environment...). working a couple nights a week and making enough to take care of myself and then some obviously sounds enticing. i could use the freed up time for some volunteering i want to do for my major too. on the other hand, i've been with him so long that leaving him for some extra dough doesn't seem quite right either. it's a tough one. we have a couple mutual friends who dance- one who he thinks is cool, and another who he despises, he seems to have trust issues with both though.
maybe you could discuss it with him? or do you think even talking about it would upset him?
if he told you a very long time ago he wouldnt date a stripper, but you guys have been together a long time now and he knows you and trusts you a lot maybe he would be willing to think about it, knowing how you are tight on money and time, with school and work?
or have you already talked to him about it since you started thinking about doing it.
Oh, I musta took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
howdy ho, junior rangers.





Bad idea. You should have probably gone to strip clubs with your boyfriend so you BOTH could observe together how much the girls are making and BOTH of you should talk to other dancers and male clubworkers TOGETHER so he could get a feel for the business.
Lying is bad. Any guy that would leave a girl because she is a dancer is a loser to begin with.
Ironically, the STRONG women who are dancers, who don't take any shit from guys, are the ones who end up with boyfriends and husbands who accept their jobs! Think about it.
Hey did you end up losing your boyfriend over dancing?? I have the same problem right now. I have wanted to dance for years and finally have my body in the shape I feel to dance and I have bought a lot of clothes. I worked two nights and the second night my BF thought I was cheating on him. I had to come clean and I did only come half clean. He said I can do whatever I want as long as he knows so he doesn't worry why I am out till 2 am. I just want to make extra money and I want to wear the clothes and shoes. I guess I am asking what happened with your situation. I don't want to lose my boyfriend over this.
1. Lies are never a good foundation for a relationship. Of all the factors in a relationship, trust is the one that is essential. Realize that if you are lying to him, you will become obsessed with how he may be lying to you, and your relationship will be destroyed.
2. In that same vein, a man who is worthy of you will trust you. I wouldn't want to be with a partner I didn't trust; I tell my boyfriend I'm not doing anything skanky and he accepts and trusts that. If he didn't, upsetting him would be the least of my concerns; I would be pissed off that he didn't trust me, and I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't trust me completely.
3. Strippers don't make as much as people think they do. If you think you can work two nights a week and support yourself in style and comfort, you have a very rude awakening coming your way. If you have a great relationship otherwise and your man simply isn't comfortable with you stripping, ask yourself if the relationship is REALLY worth working 4 days a week instead of 5 for the same money, and working overnights instead of days so you'll hardly ever see him. You may find that stripping isn't what you thought and you're better off respecting his wishes.
4. OTOH, if your man is a possessive dick about it, fuck him. You're better off stripping and supporting yourself alone than staying with a jackass who makes random accusations and calls you a whore, and who doesn't trust you.
5. Finally... Men come and go, but true love is forever. Stripping is not. If your man loves you and trusts you enough to accept stripping as just another way you pay the bills, you will probably find eternal bliss with this person. If he loves you and trusts you but just can't accept you flirting naked on other men's laps, that's valid too. Consider the individual circumstances in all things. If you feel called to be a dancer and feel it's something you must get out of your system, then by all means satisfy that urge. If you don't really want to but think you ought to do it for the big bucks, then you should probably go get another job instead.



Depending on how close you are, I think he would figure it out eventually...
Ahh, the eloquence that is Yekhefah.Originally Posted by Yekhefah
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Originally Posted by Yekhefah
Perhaps, Yekhefah, you should moonlight as a relationship Guru? That is excellent advice and a really great outlook!
It always shocks me how suprised people are when they find out I don't have hidden bank rolls, diamonds, and fur.... Many girls glamorize this job...but they couldn't have it further off... I would still rather do this (right now) then be bored out of my skull at an office job, or be totally annoyed in food service.... But... I think exotic dancing should be featured on the show on TLC Dirty Jobs.... many people just don't get it.Strippers don't make as much as people think they do. If you think you can work two nights a week and support yourself in style and comfort, you have a very rude awakening coming your way.![]()


I wouldn't recommend keeping it from your boyfriend. Would you want him to hide something that big from you?
I am very open and honest with the guy I am dating. I do everything I can to make sure he is as comfortable with me dancing as he can be. He is the first person I talk to after every shift and gives me 15 minutes to rant about my night. Then he cuts me off and makes me change the subject. Also, I have agreed to not see any of my customers outside of the club-no dinners, no shopping trips, etc. It makes him uncomfortable and he means more to me then whatever those guys could buy me anyways.
So talk to him. You never know, he could turn out to be a supporting rock that you need in this business. But if you are dishonest and don't tell him, you risk losing him.
Some guys can't handle it and that's fine too. You just have to decide what is important for you. He isn't paying your bills. You are.
Good luck to you. I know hard this can be!! Trust me!
Are you "in" or "in the way"?
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